Autoshite Quote of the Year 2014 - Please Add

[Junkman]

All modern etc. They've all been shoddy white goods since the demise of the separate chassis.

[Craig the Princess]

It's a customers car, i'll put pictures up tonight. It's beige and rotten.

[Volksy]

Billy on my celica:

 

They're a bit of a Page 3 bird, these cars. Really nice and curvy to look at, dull inside, three useful entries and good little goers.

[hauserplenty]

CBA to check if it was vulgalour or philbusmo but sarite innit?

 

"Friday I sacked the car off and got resoundingly drunk."

 

Cheers!

[Partridge]

Was philbusmo.

 

I claim my five pounds.

[hauserplenty]

As it 'appens...it's my shout then. Will send courier with cheque for £100, simply pay him his fee of £10 COLECT 2NITE M8.

[Pillock]

 

C15 vans are like little donkeys,honest and dependable but a bit crap on the motorway.

[Cheggers]

Cort16's "...as desirable as a dose of bum onions..." from the eBay thread had me chuckling

[KruJoe]

If an Iveco is top of your list, your list is upside down.

[vulgalour]

If I had unlimited space and money I'd employ an army of giffer bodgers and have a fleet of wobbly sided, crusty old motors that would show the care and attention only a man with a pipe in wooden garage could possibly carry out.

[sporty-shite]

I've found no groups that are mong free. There will always be some illiterate cockwhisk with a dog as his profile picture determined to tell you everything not Mk2 Escort shaped is shit 'LOL'.

 

Facebook groups in one succinct sentence!

[Rusty Pelican]

From Pillock ages ago 

 

The light is on to show that the light is still working, which on French electrics is a reason for celebration.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Regarding a Rover 2000:

 

Watching that ribbon speedo creep to 100 must be like watching the download bar on your PC as you're stealing every season of Breaking Bad off Pirate Bay via a dial up account.

[Craig the Princess]

On the up - side, I will get two wages at once at the end of this month. Since I will just about scrape by this month, the double money will be a nice windfall - an ideal time to put some money aside spunk it away on a car I dont need.

[Craig the Princess]

Who wants a Maserati when you could have a knackered 305 van with an obsolete engine?

[anonymous user]

GarethJ

 

I had a rubber bumper V12 and it wasn't cheap to run.  In fact it cost more per month than the rent on my flat.

 

[DSdriver]

 

 

Looking at the sill and door and knowing Mk 2's as I do  it wants a metric shitload of Mig and 2mm steel here and there, and there and there and here and there and over there and here and look, there as well....

 

Courtesy of Micrashed #45145 on the Ebay Tat thread

[Spiny Norman]

Not a sentence I ever thought I'd live long enough to see on here, unless the words 'bacon' or 'cheese' also appeared in it.

 

Spent the day working on the Rolls.

[DVee8]

Magnificent Rustbucket wrote.

I feel I have become quite out of step with society now. I can't seem to engage. There have been many changes in the last decade and I have not kept pace. I don't share the same goals nor value the same connections or aspirations. Most of it seems pointless; some of it is bewildering. I tried to stay in step, but always seem to march like Corporal Jones.

 

This is quite brilliant.

[skattrd]

rml2345

 

Next time on SVM news... Underseal; How easy is it to remove from beards?

 

 

 

[Craig the Princess]

Nowhere else on the internet will you see

 

(thus demonstrating the success of the Reliant engine love token)

[mouseflakes]

Mr Himp, on serving Norman Wisdom at a Sainsburys checkout...
 

I was a little dissapointed that he simply paid for his food with a cheque and went on his way instead of shouting 'Mr Grimsdale! Mr Grimsdale!" and then throwing himself on the floor.

Go and 'like' the original here...
 

http://autoshite.com/topic/18707-unlikely-autoshiters/?p=665819

[smiffy637]

 

it was a place that in theory, should never rust. It was like getting an STD on your knee.

 

This is perfect for a Rover 213 i once owned

[sporty-shite]

From Bren in the grumpy thread:

 

Why has'nt black friday extended to machine mart?

I need some new stuff, and fancy twatting somebody to get it.

 

 

[Craig the Princess]

my cheapest car was an x reg 1275 metro that was given to me because i lent the owner my playstation for the day when his broke, sold it on as i was 16 and already had 2 cars

 

[Rusty Pelican]

From Cavcraft

 

£350, and for your Brucie Bonus it appears to still be wearing it's original Stomil Perishedwall Sundry Tube-Exploder tyres.  

[John F]

From the "I can haz done a buyage" thread:

 

Breadvan72, on 03 Dec 2014 - 06:59 AM, said:

The paint is probably original and is quite worn and cracked in places. I have waxed the car, but it's not very shiny yet.  Solution: Romanians.

 

[Craig the Princess]

the ignition keyhole was so worn you could have probably turned it with a baguette, your finger or just a very strong thought.

[scruff]

It's probably not mud that's holding it together. It's butt mud!

 

[vulgalour]

The common or garden Xants just feel like a BX that's gone to finishing school.