cms206 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Resurrecting this star vehicle for another year, unless someone already has and I can't find it. I'll open with this which has had me wake the missus up with me laughing. It's 6.30am and I have an A-frame in the back of my Prairie. That can only mean one thing. Shite hauling time. Wish me luck... it's gonna be a long day! skattrd, brickwall, Banger Kenny and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 My personal favourite, not so much a quote but bloody funny anyway, I bought this shite from a Lancia dealer. Night before I was due to collect I dreamed of a red Lancia Gamma that morphed into a vampire, flapping it's doors and chasing me. I tried to kill it with a stake through the bonnet and awoke screaming "die you bastard". brickwall 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skattrd Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 *ringring*Hello?Hey, it's Dugongfromautoshite. I've found most of a Princess in a skip, do you want it?Hell yeah! So that's a thing that just happened. Not really a quote, more of a brief conversation, but I thought it deserved repeating. beko1987, cms206, brickwall and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wackywacerwill Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 a car thats runs like a dream, with 10 months mot. 60,000 miles. and i now know, full service history and completely rust free for £250. well its now been scrapped for £140. im afraid this sites is not what it used to be guys. charlie2555, michael t, Banger Kenny and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rml2345 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Think we had a start but it didn't take off. Anyway... What I do know is that peeled cow is very overrated.Made me chuckle. True too. brickwall and Partridge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Bo11ox Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 It's the M47R, same as earlier E46 320d. The M47TU is the "Technical Update" with the Piss Flaps cms206, dugong, Alexg and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Pelican Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 From Pillock , cracked me up big time The body repairs will be rust. As will the headlamps. And the tyres. Bloody Italians. myglaren, Ratdat and Banger Kenny 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 I could get my self-esteem into an old Mini, it won't fit in the Bini/Nini/Silli Mirkin, Banger Kenny and cms206 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rml2345 Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Long one, but it made I lol my rofl right up; And Dollywobler did cry forth - "Suggest me a car, less than 13 cubits by 7 cubits and capable of 40mpg and it must be interesting" And the good people of Autoshite did suggest every single fucking car under £500 on eBay And Lo did Dollywobler come forth with a piece of Yank tin the size of a Whale that uses raw polar bears for fuel. scruff, chaseracer, myglaren and 17 others 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 ...buy a V12 Jag sight unseen, pick it up 500 miles from home after dark and in the rain, then set off to experience the inevitable grenading of something made from a laminate of unobtainium and £bumrape. Banger Kenny, rml2345, chaseracer and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Yes but if you click one of the green tabs it'll find all the rest, a bit like punching a policeman. chaseracer, brickwall, dome and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 it was a place that in theory, should never rust. It was like getting an STD on your knee. michael t, saucedoctor, Cavcraft and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 This; "Its a lovely place, nice café if you're passing. it is the only place I've ever had to abort a landing because the llama's were bonking on the runway. Could hardly complete the circuit, for laughing" michael t, saucedoctor, brickwall and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I've just been trying to find the origin of 'Pineapples on the roof' and found this fred: http://autoshite.com/topic/12302-autoshite-tv/ Not a quote I know but I've got a stitch in my diaphragm and cramp in my cheeks from laughing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Breadvan72 on not risking buying another Lancia I appreciate that one of the greatest joys of Autoshite is the vicarious thrill of watching others make highly ill advised motoring related purchasing choices mat_the_cat, spike60, Alexg and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 Asked to define the term 'Pineappled', Tayne wrote: VW (or other VAG vehicle) customised by owner in VW scene style. Elements include suspension mods of dubious safety, stretched tyres, odd coloured wheels, sticker-bombing, deliberately rusted panels, iron cross decals, German style number plates and "vintage expedition" style roof loaded with oddities such as vintage suitcases, old wooden fruit or drink crates, bicycles which will never be ridden and the afformentioned pineapple. This roof rack and load is purely for display, none of these items are intended to be removed from the vehicle and there will likely be plenty of space for the carriage of goods in the vehicle's boot.The owner, when asked, will reveal that he has made all of these clichéd modifications because "he's an individual". Squire_Dawson, Uncle Jimmy, Grundig and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Alfamale - regarding a lovely cheap people carrier Salesman at that place is a nice bloke, used to be a chef in the local pizza takeaway myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cms206 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Share Posted March 29, 2014 Courtesy of jbz2079... My mate had a Marina 1700L Estate and the little 6mm holding down bolt was stripped and the engine blew the whole housing out while he was on a high speed thrash.It doused the distributer with coolant, that shorted the sparks to the engine, so it just stopped. Then a spark found it's way to a plug fired all the unburnt fuel in the engine and exhaust, I was about 50 yards behind the car he had just passed.The resulting explosion blew the exhaust backbox to bits, the tailpipe went straight through the grill of the car he had just passed and burst his radiator too. They both freewheeled into the next lay-by where a few words were exchanged and a few deatails.I pulled in at the far end of the lay-by, I literally could not get out my car for howling with laughter. Pete-M, myglaren, chaseracer and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckythirteen Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Courtesy of Barry Cade, in the shite 4x4 thread... I found this out the hard way and had to summon help quickly but politely when it came off the output shaft and surprised me a little. OMGHGF HELP AAAARRRGGGHHH ya fecking durty ooyah HELP etc etc. I can imagine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 On TagoraSX's Tagora SX: When people ask 'What happened to non-prestige marque executive cars ?' 'When did the decline start?' You will have the answer sitting on your drive in all it's metallic beige glory. It's a bit like owning actual proof of the meaning of life ,but with 6 chokes and brown velour. catsinthewelder, cms206, myglaren and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsinthewelder Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Here it is, just like it was 2 weeks ago. Up on stands, imobile and fucked.. Old cars are GR8 brickwall, smiffy637, myglaren and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexg Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 NorfolkNWeigh wrote That fuckwit responsible for the Polo implies he's a BMW mechanic, I'd be most chuffed paying £120+vat an hour for this knob cheese to expertly fettle my brand new M5. Grundig and Banger Kenny 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drum Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Of the rusty Tagora...Just seen this. The first set of picks gave me a MASSIVE wood and the second set made me spunk out 3 metres of MIG wire. Semi-C, brickwall and Station 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cms206 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 rml2345... They must envy our superior Western shite. Ironic really as many of us envy them for their superior Eastern shite. DSdriver 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taff Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Courtesy of breadvan72, in the midlife crisis thread, and one who I have promised myself never to ask directions of Italy is of course right next to Japan. as a non-AS quote, I once saw a woman described as "wearing enough hairspray to stick a llama to a bus-stop" which made me giggle like a 5 year old Joey spud, eddyramrod, Gerald and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsinthewelder Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 PHACKTS: Every time an MGB is laid up on SORN, a cute disabled kid gets a really nice puppy. Every time an MGB is scrapped, the kid gets new legs and can walk. Assad says that he will step down and the war in Syria will end on the day when the last MGB goes in the bin. Putin adds that he will give back the Crimea and marry his gay lover if all the hats and mugs go as well. MGB owners, you know what you have to do. smiffy637, Uncle Jimmy, michael t and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Pelican Posted April 6, 2014 Share Posted April 6, 2014 From Cort16 I read that Renault really upped their game on these, which probably means they brought it up to the quality of a bolivian dung cart. Banger Kenny, michael t and rml2345 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Corsaviour write: Bubble him up but leave a note on his car saying someone on here did it, then we'll get him on board and e-punch him squarely in his virtual knackers. Two thirds of my pint of LMAO have just sloshed out the glass on reading this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Jesus. Why didnt I buy all those scrapped Minis I used to see in the scrappers, and keep them in a field somewhere, even in the Irish Sea.... I could retire and just sell one a month. eddyramrod, michael t and beko1987 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rml2345 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I know it probably shouldn't, but this made me laugh... This reminds me of a pair of axle stands that I have, which used to have curved saddles - until I asked a mate to reverse one of my cars and instead, he put it in first and smashed the other car in the face, so the stands slipped off the chassis rails and landed on the floorpans. myglaren 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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