Semi epic tat collection thread WITH UPDATES.

[Spiny Norman]

Some of you may remember earlier in the week I posted up a sort of half-assed "Car wanted" thread, because my old Merc was MOTd until tomorrow night and had failed expensively so I needed another car and rather than dealing with GUMTREEMONGZ (like their equally celebrated Ebay cousins, but they tend to be closer) I asked if any of the AS massiv had some old chod for me.

 

I very nearly got involved in a weird three way tryst with Cort16 and CAVCRAFT involving a Shitroen, but just as that idea was being swilled around the goblet of veg oil, I happened onto a Volvo 240 wagon advertised on the blue place, quite by chance since I rarely look on there nowadays.

The first few enquiries went well, as did the subsequent phone call and to cut a not very long story to not very big ribbons I found myself on something called a "train" this morning on my way up to sunny Montrose.

 

 

 

Scotrail trains are crap, the last train I was on was about 5 years ago when I went to Alnwick but it was a hell of a lot more hi tech than this thing, I didn't realise they still did Diesel trains on main lines. Still, it left bang on time and I was off.


 

 

I don't know how it is for you lot but I so rarely go anywhere without being the driver that I found it quite a rare treat to be able to sit back, Little Feat on the MP3 player, and watch the agreeably pretty and surprisingly sunny scenery whizz by. I always remembered  the view from trains being a bit shit as you tended to look onto the arse end of shabby trading estates and people's back gardens. Although it was nice and sunny this morning it certainly wasn't warm, so there was no chance of playing one of my favourite train games of old, 'spot the topless sunbather'
There were a shit load of people out playing golf though....

 

 

Each to their own & all that, but I really don't see the attraction of golf, maybe because I'm not married and never need an excuse to fuck off out the house on a Saturday morning. Awfully popular in this neck of the woods though, waste of a good walk if you ask me.

 

 

Things went swimmingly with each passing station being ticked off the list at an almost Japanese/Swiss timescale. The train started moving out of Perth station exactly as the station clock went over the allotted time, most impressive. Wasn't to last though, and just out of Dundee things started getting a bit slow, and we sat in Arbroath station for a good few minutes. Apparently there was a slow freight train ahead of us, if I'd had my guitar with me I'm sure there was a song in there....

 

 

Anyway, 20 minutes later than billed, we arrived at Montrose and the chap selling said Volvo was waiting as arranged in the car park, in his rather swish and un-shite Civic Type R. A very short time indeed after that, we were back at his place, mugs of tea in hand perusing a white J reg Volvo. It was pretty much 'as described' a couple of extra marks on the bodywork than maybe I'd been expecting, but a very sound car and mechanically it's bob on, so a deal was done after some spirited haggling and more tea, and I roared off up the road in a car the seller had named "Big Sexy"

So here it is, in all its slightly manky glory.

 

 

 

 

 

And of course, the traditional 'Newly bought shite posing at the petrol station' shot.

 

 

There are the usual few wee niggly things to either sort out or learn to live with, I'm not anal enough to expect everything to work on a 23 year old car. The fuel gauge doesn't work, and rather annoyingly the wee button thing for zero-ing the trim meter is also missing so keeping a track of how much juice is in it will keep me on my toes. The rear wiper is U/S too, which resulted in a near opaque back screen for most of the journey home, but that's about the level of it, so I'm quite chuffed with it.

I'll stick up some more pics when I get it looking a bit better. Spring probably.....

 

 

[oman5]

Very nice. looks decent enough for the year, ref. the back wiper not working, that will be a break in the loom going into the tailgate. they all do it.

Is it the 2.0 or 2.3? mines a 2.0 and a bit short of go but she has done over 200k. I love 'em.

[Micrashed]

In my younger couldnt give a toss about cars days I thought these said Lamba Sound and thought it was some sort of big bore sporty zorst or summat

[eddyramrod]

Smart!  And rare too, I think: a RWD Volvo estate with no towbar!  How on earth did that happen?

[seacow]

Superb stuff. I admired this ad looks great. Top barge for winter!!

[HMC]

Well bought!! I remember seeing this advertised and being tempted too, despite not needing another car! It's got the velourious blue seats hasn't it?

[skattrd]

North of border shiteist buys Volvo shocker .... Top bombing sir

[Mog]

Looks like a cream cracker.

[cort16]

Magic looks great!

[Spiny Norman]

Too tired to figure out how to work the multi quote thing, it's the ubiquitous B200E lump in this one, goes far better than the last 2 litre 240 I had, although that was an auto.

The seller did have a towbar for it if I'd wanted it, but I'd have no use for it.

It does have quite the most grippy, ribbed-for-pleasure, velour-tastic seats ever. At the petrol station I leaned over to adjust the passenger door mirror and had to get out again to sort out my undercarriage because my trousers ended up wound 6 inches further round my arse than was ideal.

[dollywobbler]

[Spiny Norman]

I'm not normally one for giving cars names but something pirate related did cross my mind this afternoon on the drive home, as did 'Tasha'. [/star Trek geek]

 

[Jim Bell]

Nice. I thoroughly approve.

[FredTransit]

Too tired to figure out how to work the multi quote thing, it's the ubiquitous B200E lump in this one, goes far better than the last 2 litre 240 I had, although that was an auto.

The seller did have a towbar for it if I'd wanted it, but I'd have no use for it.

It does have quite the most grippy, ribbed-for-pleasure, velour-tastic seats ever. At the petrol station I leaned over to adjust the passenger door mirror and had to get out again to sort out my undercarriage because my trousers ended up wound 6 inches further round my arse than was ideal.

how much did he want for the tow bar?

[Spiny Norman]

how much did he want for the tow bar?

 

Never asked him, didn't want it.

Probably wasn't the right one because he'd tried to fit it and had problems, and the guy knows what he's doing. He had a Mk1 MR2 and an old Camaro in his garage in varying states of completion.

[vulgalour]

I do so love these Swedish house bricks.  Is Scotlandshire the new home of bargainous brick barges now?

[meshking]

 

Great buy, I love these late model 240s. Should have lots of toys fitted I guess? I tried to find one down here in surrey, but most were rotten or seriously mega milers.

 

Thanks for sharing!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I've seen that guy on R-R a lot, he seems a pretty sound and knowledgeable guy. Nice work!!!! I flipping love a 240 estate. You just can't lose with one.

[Spiny Norman]

Great buy, I love these late model 240s. Should have lots of toys fitted I guess? I tried to find one down here in surrey, but most were rotten or seriously mega milers.

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

I guess for a 240 it's not bad for toys but it's not particularly well equipped. Leccy windows, central locking level, but no aircon/leather etc. But it's the first Volvo I've ever had where the bum warmers work.

[davidfowler2000]

Top shiting Ian. Looking forward to seeing it. I'll bring the 960 to the next meet so we can have a 200, 700, 900 generation photoshoot

 

 

Smart!  And rare too, I think: a RWD Volvo estate with no towbar!  How on earth did that happen?

I've got 2 Volvo estates sans towing ability!!!

[Spiny Norman]

Well I've been biffing around in it for a week now so I thought I'd do a quick sit-rep on Tasha Yar.

 

First things first, she hasn't failed to proceed or given any signs of impending OHFUCKNESS (yet) so it's all good.

It's good to be back in a 200 series Volvo again. I've had a couple of them in the past, a death slow 2 litre auto saloon on a G reg and a very lively 264GLE auto on a T. This one with the manual falls some way in between the two, it's no ball of fire, especially coming from a 230bhp Merc E class, but I haven't felt the need to get out and push yet either. The gearbox which can often be like stirring a stick in a box full of broken bottles in these is nice and precise in this one, although still not as light as a RWD Ford or the Amazon I used to have.

 

Starts first kick hot or cold and makes that lovely familiar Volvo B series noise, a combination of the huge viscous fan whooshing round and the slightly rough 'tonka-tonka-tonka' noise they all make, particularly when they're hot, but it doesn't make any noises it shouldn't. It drives well for an old bus, all the suspension, brakes, steering etc seem to be in good order and it doesn't even rattle that much either.

 

It does have a few issues as you'd expect, some of them I'll learn to live with and some of them will need sorting, but they're all typical Volvo 240 faults. The tailgate wiper doesn't work for a kick off. What were they smoking in Gothenburg when they decided that feeding the wiring through the hinge was a good idea? Most Volvo estates seem to have this problem and while not particularly expensive to fix is a bit of a faff from what I can make out. At least I have number plate lights and central locking on it. so not all the wires are fucked.
Then there's the fuel gauge. Again, a common fault in old Volvos, and up till this morning I'd have said it was completely FUBAR, but I happened to look down and lo and behold it had woken up for the first time since I'd bought the car last Saturday and was telling me I'd half a tank, which was nice. Annoyingly, the wee button that resets the trip meter is also missing in action so keeping tabs on how much petrol's in the thing is going to be a full time job.
 

There are a few wee bits of trim missing too, the most obvious one is the lack of door pockets. Volvo in their infinite wisdom when they were speccing the materials used in the construction of the 240s for some reason chose to use the exact same grade of brittle plastic that your grandad's old 78s were made of, A 240 with a set of door pockets is a rare thing indeed.

 

So it's a case of so far so good. I took it to the Kosovo car wash on Friday to get shot of the grime and managed to stop off this afternoon for a few pics of it clean.

 

[cms206]

That has possibly the bluest interior I've seen in a very long time. Looking forward to prodding this one greatly a week on Wednesday, assuming you'll be going.

[charlie2555]

Looks spanking new! Great buy by the looks of things.  It's amazing what a good wash can do.

[Skizzer]

Spot on.  Definitely have to run one of these one day (before all the old Volvo estates migrate to Scotland).  This looks about perfect, especially with hyper-blue velour.

[Spiny Norman]

That has possibly the bluest interior I've seen in a very long time. Looking forward to prodding this one greatly a week on Wednesday, assuming you'll be going.

 

I'll be there. I'll even put in a new interior light bulb so you can see it in all its BLUE.

 

It was really filthy, I've T-Cut most of it as well as taking a trip to the car wash, where they washed it twice to get rid of the grime!

[cms206]

I'll be there. I'll even put in a new interior light bulb so you can see it in all its BLUE.

 

Most excellent. All going well I'll have a grey one instead of the more recent blue ones...

[twosmoke300]

That's bloody lovely that is .

[Sloth in a bowl]

Blue seats!!!! Just the same as my parent's first Volvo an S reg blue 244DL which shows how little Volvo changed some of their designs.

 

Once a comfy seat, always a comfy seat

[pandamonium]

I really like that, one day I will have one.

My Dad had a petrol blue 245DL back in the day. He cut the legs off a 2CV rear seat and put in the boot to make it a 7 seater. Not bolted in and no seatbelts mind...

[laser wheels]

That is really lovely that; I can only hope the Ghia scrubs up that nice!