Do not open until 2027.

[Barry Cade]

I've finally covered a thousand miles in the Volvo now, in fact 1123 to be precise. Long enough methinks to do a "Top Gear" test, which will be relevant to us all in here in about 15 years time...like a dog eared copy of What Car lost in cyberspace until you are browsing iEbay through thought alone, looking at the screen on the inside of your eyelid because you've had a tax rebate for 6,000 Euros and are looking for a "classic " to save from going over the bridge and get out to the garage to avoid 900 channels of shite on the wallpaper.

 

 

The 2013 Volvo V40 D2 R-Design.

 

First impressions.

I think it's quite a handsome car, not pretty like an Alfa, or stylish like a Merc, but quite cohesive and neat. Of course it's bigger than it looks, and you realise this when it's parked next to an older car, but it carries it quite well..The R-Design kit does add a a bit of sportyness and adds a bit of interest. These cars do seem to be very colour dependent, they seem to suit bold colours. If you are a bit of a car fan, you do notice the "kink" in the rear doors like the old P1800 and the tailgate which looks like the P1800ES. I like this.

 

 

Engineering.

 

It's a Volvo. Again if you are a car nut, this should bring up a load of stereotypes, including dummies, elks and headlamp wipers. Think again. It's a car built on a Focus floorpan with a PSA engine, built in Belgium by a company with a Swedish name owned by the Chinese. It does,however,carry on the Volvo virtue of safety. In fact it's the safest car ever tested by NCAP if that is important to you. It has an airbag outside, so people you knock down get bounced off a big pillow rather than end up in your lap,loads of airbags inside so in a crash you get a big cuddle, and a system that detects that the car in front has just popped a balljoint out the hub and applies the brakes so you don't get a cuddle and instead spill your scorching hot Costa all over the half leather sports seats...and your gentleman's region. You can of course use the standard cupholders to prevent this, but if you don't go large and get a regular Costa, then it's quite difficult to get the cup out the cupholder,so you are more likely to be distracted trying to get a slug of Americano to wake you up, so may actually have a crash. I'd knock a star off the Ncap for that. I'd knock another off for the fact that you can't see out of the tiny windows.

 

 

Comfort,handling and ride.

 

Er. Hmm.

I've owned an Xm. An S-Class Mercedes. A Jag.Big hitters in waft. A lot to live up to. Not even close. The R-Design brings harder suspension and lower profile "Eco" tyres. Noise supression is fairly good, not a lot of thump from the suspension but a strange jiggly pitching motion, not unlike an original mini on rubber cones..hard to explain but actually gives me backache on certain roads- not the fault of the seats, which are superb, well bolstered,grippy and heated, but the up/down motion of the whole car.Odd. The steering is connected.To something. I hope. It does feel meaty and weighted, but feels like it's been downloaded rather than uploaded from the road surface. Grip is good on the Pirelli's but I think they'd just let go unprogressively, unless the ESPOMGYOUREGONNADIE kicks in and brakes an individual wheel or flashes a light in your face to tell you not to be so stupid and that the laws of phyisics apply just the same on the A913.It'd then give you a lecture on the central information panel and explain the error of your shoddy driving, then spill coffee on your lap. Motorways are ace. Quiet,smooth and comfortable. Sadly the only motorway I use often is the M90, which Land Rover use to demonstrate the abilities of their Camel Trophy cars.

 

 

Performance.

 

It's a Denzil. With a turbo. 1600cc and it's a heavy car, so it's not a performance car. It's a long way from being nippy,needs careful coordination to get away quickly from a standing start without getting the offside doors violated by a MAN on a roundabout, and if you even try to pull away in 2nd, then the reaction is so violent you may just get a cuddle from an airbag. 6th gear is Loooong, and actually hurts economy if not doing 65+. When on boost it's ok, overtaking can be done but a long LONG way from my old 850 T5. Or even my wife's Starlet. Early days so the engine may free up with more miles. Or I might go head on with a giffer in an Escort. It might be a Bonus . Or even an Eclipse.

 

 

Economy and Costs.

 

Free Tax. No congestion charge. Denzil fuelled. Save you thousands a year!

Nope. I do very little miles, so fuel economy isn't too much of an issue. OK, I save a couple of hundred a year on tax. I live in Scotland, so that London isn't a problem, and with it being full of NCAP, the insurance is very reasonable. Sounds good...??  Volvo specify sooper dooper oil for it, at 56 quid per 4 litres. I couldn't bring myself to fit part worn Stomils on it, so 150 a corner for rubber. I also seem to wash and polish it every 4 miles, so the Autoglym Christmas night out this year is in Hawaii. Deprieciation isn't an issue for me, as you may know , but if it was  I think Valium or Prozac would be an added running cost. 51MPG isn't that much progress if you ask me. Even if it does stop at traffic lights.

 

 

Convenience.

 

Nope, no toilet, but just about everything else. TFT instruments, in red,blue or green. Cruise control,Ipod dock.Fairly small boot and rear seat is only really for 2.  All black inside, even the roof like a Golf GTi. If it's night time where you are, turn all the lights off. Now shut your eyes. Thats what it's like inside. My wife can shout at me, through the rear speakers,using my phone even when she's miles away. I can shout back at her though, through the sunvisor. I think she just phones me so I look like one of those nutters who talk to themselves. Kids tend to point and laugh anyway. Digital radio too. Mood lighting in 7 different colours. Even the gearknob lights up. Why? No Idea. I've prodded, fiddled adjusted and fettled... and ended up the same as every other car I've owned. Heater on hot, Johnny Cash on the wireless and fuel gauge just above E.

 

Summary.

 

A modern car.

 

 

 

[Micrashed]

Mood lighting?

Why???

[gary_davidson]

Mood lighting?

Why???

designed by a meat loaf fan?

[beko1987]

I would read more car review if they were written by you!

 

Have to say, before I fully read volvo I thought it was a new focus or similar. Doubt it's any more Volvo than my HP Laptop though sadly. Still, can think of worse. The instrument cluster shot looks fairly cool, Looks gr2.3 trying to replace a blown LED or fix a dodgly interior fan in 15 years when you've picked it up for £800 with a bit of MOT but no tax and 130k on it though

[Hertz]

I'm pretty sure this is a focus in drag isn't it? Not that's a bad thing of course. Nice write up.

 

I too have that 1.6 diesel lump in my Mondeo which I reckon weighs even more than this, pull your foreskin back it doesn't...

[willswitchengage]

 

 

51MPG isn't that much progress if you ask me

 

That's what my BX gets, but that doesn't have electronic injection, direct injection or more than two valves per cylinder.

 

I still have to pay Gordon Brown £200 odd a year and to drive within the inner circular though.

 

Always thought these figures were a bit fishy so let's do some A-level chemistry

 

***

 

Diesel has a density of 0.832Kg/L with an average moleculer size of C12H23, which has a molar mass of 167.

 

832/167 = 4.98, therefore there are 4.98 moles of diesel fuel per litre.

 

Every carbon atom in that diesel will become ultimately a carbon dioxide (yes some is "unburnt carbon" or carbon monoxide but this ultimately burns in the atmosphere into super stable CO2). Therefore, 12 moles of carbon dioxide will be produced for every mole of diesel burnt.

 

4.98 * 12 = 59.76

 

A mole of carbon dioxide weighs 44g.

 

59.76 * 44 = 2629

 

There are 2629g of carbon dioxides produced whenever 1L of diesel is burnt. (verification here http://people.exeter.ac.uk/TWDavies/energy_conversion/Calculation%20of%20CO2%20emissions%20from%20fuels.htm )

 

51mpg = 11.2 miles per litre

 

11.2 mpl = 0.089 litres per mile = 0.142 litres per km

 

Now CO2 emissions, which is how you pay your tax, is measured in gCO2/km.

 

So, your litres per km * CO2 content of diesel fuel...

 

0.142 * 2629 = 375gCO2/km

 

Calculating backwards in my head, a car would have to achieve nearly 200mpg to get under that magic 99g/km for a free tax disc.

 

It really is such bullshit, how do manufacturers get away with it?

[Junkman]

I don't like it. It's ugly.

[rml2345]

Good write up! I got a lift in one of these last night and agree about the ride, which seems incredibly Jiggly on anything other than motorway. The mood lighting sounds daft but is actually a really nice touch, as is the light up gearknob. If Volvo electrics are as good now as they were 20 years ago all these things will probably be broken by the time this gets to shiter money which is a bit of a shame.

Stop start in a 15+ year old motor would give you a nervous twitch though.

[Lord Sterling]

Great write up. Fatha_Sterling is considering one of these for his next car.

[Justin Case]

Excellent review, thanks fo posting Actually it sounds as good as anything in its class and the interior is far far better than that of the current Focus, which is just a mess

 

 

Co-incidently I have just been reading  a car magazine with an advert for it which compares it against the usual German suspects. No mention that it is safer, looks better, and is probably more comfortable (see BMW 1 series) only that you pay slightly less company tax and in fuel. No wonder the country is going down the pan if that is the only criteria by which the people who run it day to day judge their cars.

[drum]

Excellent review.

[Spiny Norman]

I saw one of these on the road the other day and my first thought was "That's meant to be the estate version?????" I know it's lifestyle and all that jazz but I think a Focus hatch probably has a better sized boot doesn't it?

[NorfolkNWeigh]

If you can stand the Toryboy,self righteous wankers that seem to infect it these days,have a look at a typical 'What car?' thread on Pistonheads . Nearly all of them mention what should I get that puts out less than 200kg/lb foot per mile for company car tax- the answer is invariably a BMW 713d or whatever the smallest diesel in the biggest body is.

Excellent review, thanks fo posting Actually it sounds as good as anything in its class and the interior is far far better than that of the current Focus, which is just a mess

 

 

Co-incidently I have just been reading  a car magazine with an advert for it which compares it against the usual German suspects. No mention that it is safer, looks better, and is probably more comfortable (see BMW 1 series) only that you pay slightly less company tax and in fuel. No wonder the country is going down the pan if that is the only criteria by which the people who run it day to day judge their cars.

[Station]

 

If you cover the back lights, it could be any car post 2010. I think they actually design the crazy lighting on modern cars and then the body afterwards.

My Justy has a bigger interior.The dashboard looks tacky like a SHANGMONG MP3/DVD/IPOD/AUX IN/OMG stereo.

I do like it an it looks a bit different, but not much. It's depressing how outrageous some of these cars look, but put side by side, they are nearly identical. Especially those interiors. I think the centre of a black hole would be more interesting (C Jeremy Clarkson).

[Joey spud]

Lets cut to the chase,has your one got a spare wheel,so far everyone of these i've been to didn't carry a poxy spare ???

[Barry Cade]

Lets cut to the chase,has your one got a spare wheel,so far everyone of these i've been to didn't carry a poxy spare ???

Yep- I made sure that when it was ordered by my BIL, the box was ticked for the spacesaver, which can only be supplied with the multiflex floor. £250..... I wouldn't have a car without a spare!

 

I'm liking the replies- it does split opinion and as it wasn't my choice, I can see both sides of it- Most new car owners defend their choice to the point of fisticuffs. Especially Audi owners. I love winding them up.

 

It's a good car. But it's not a "Volvo" and it's not a family car, nor a "lifestyle" car, nor a sports car or a luxury car. The boot is small and it not that great on fuel- certainly not the 78.8MPG that is claimed. I've found now I'm driving it harder it's not making any difference to the MPG- I certainly need to change my driving style to suit the car, which is difficult as I only drive it about 100 miles a week, compared to 1000 miles a week in a van which has a far more normal power delivery.

 

I miss my MGF.

[Six-cylinder]

I just ask one question, how many fun cars can you have for the cost of running one modern Volvo?

[Stroller133]

 

"11.2 mpl = 0.089 litres per mile = 0.142 litres per Km"

 

It is 0.056 litres per km, a km is approx 5/8 of a mile so less fuel will be used!

So the co2/km is about 140g, however when they do the prescribed test the Volvo probably achieves 75+ and this below 99g

 

Agree thought in real world 50 is about what most people will achieve

[inconsistant]

It's not a proper v40