I'm new, but I'm bottom of the range

[inconsistant]

Hello Autoshiters!

 

I've been lurking on here since the beginning of the year, aching to get in, so I kind of know a fair bit about the chod life of some of you by now, but of course you don't know nuffink about me.

So here's a short resume so you can decide immediately how much to hate me:

 

Internet Forums

Other forums I waste my life on:

Slotforum... I collect slot cars, Scalextric etc, especially old British Leyland ones... Maestro, Rover SD1, TR7, Metros and Mini Clubmans, but mostly 70's 80's 90's British cars. And Police cars too.

AROnline... Ok, I've got a bit of a BL thing going on. But that's pretty normal, isn't it?

 

Autoshite Facebook mong?

No, promise.

 

First Car

17yr old, one owner from new, Russett Brown mini clubman estate. Previous owner was called Edna. Big crease by hinge on drivers door where she'd tried to reverse it out of her garage with it open.

Also owned an estate style Pooloo, a won point nought E Pov spec beaut.

Mk2 Golf Driver bought from emigrating neighbour for £350 which I used as a tool barrow when I was self employed several years ago. Wandered and clonked at motorway speeds.

Also had an Aldi A6 estate, aka 'the beast' 140,000miles for £900. Mysteriously was more economical the faster you went.

 

Current Car

Volvo estate diesel. It's the newest, most luxury car we have ever owned, and it only has minor issues, which is reassuring. Says v40 on the back but to be honest I don't think that's right... the bonnet doesn't look long enough and it sounds wrong.

 

Transferrable skills

I can make stuff, mostly out of wood but I also like plastic too. Metal not so much.

 

Motor Mechanics

I am competent at a variety of necessary vehicular tasks. I recently changed the rear wiper blade unaided, have extensive experience of pumping up the tyres, both using the 50p air machine at the local Petropolis, and on the drive in the dark in the rain just after I should have left. I know where the dipstick is, and I use 'Mer' for the annual car wash, which I got in the days when you could only get it mail order. I also have a crook lock in the shed.

 

Hobbies

I can do swearing, both speaking and writing down. I am a dad (see current car). 

 

Where do I see myself in 6 months?

Same as now, but with an MG Maestro on the front drive. I really, really want one. Really.

 

Summary

Please like me. I value this rare opportunity to say c**t on the internet unmoderated. I can also contribute a photo of a mossy volvo 265 in a hedge if that'll swing it?

 

Cheers,

R

[Jim Bell]

Nice interview.

 

Can you make cups of tea, and can you drive a fork lift?

[trigger]

Sounds like you'll fit in just perfectly, Welcome!

[chaseracer]

Hedgebound Ovlov?  This one seems promising... 

[Skizzer]

You already cleared the first hurdle by not trying to sell us Viagra or golfing equipment.  Mossy Volvo pictures should swing it for sure.

[richardthestag]

mossy ovlov you say

 

Welcome aboard

[stuboy]

welcome along...............

[Spiny Norman]

You're hired, welcome aboard.

[overrun]

Milk and two for me, newbie!

 

Can I boss him around?

[Tayne]

Nice interview.

 

Can you make cups of tea, and can you drive a fork lift?

Bloody hell, how big are the cups?

[overrun]

Bloody hell, how big are the cups?

 

<bra joke>

[vulgalour]

hello and welcome, may your stay be a mixture of misery and delight.

[Cavcraft]

Happy Christmas and welcome along.

[Pete-M]

Greetings. As long as you don't piss on the potted plants, you'll be fine.

[ProgRocker]

Welcome, in con sis tant.  

 

Your early car history read  like my wish list at the time. I wanted a Clubman Estate as my first car but ended up with a vermillion 2 door Mini instead. Also pined for a mark 1 or mark 2 Polo too and a few years later a mark 2 Golf or Jetta.

[Lord Sterling]

Welcome along lad. Volvo V40 Diesel eh? Ole_Fatha_Sterling has just one of these, I've yet to see it in the metal and drive it, that's because he is in Belguim and I am not.

 

Good to know you like your BL stuff too.

[Junkman]

Mossy 265 in a hedge?

Where do I sign?

 

Like the Scalextrickery too.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Greetings. As long as you don't piss on the potted plants, you'll be fine.

 

Fack me, is that now against the rules?  I must have missed that meeting.  Sorry.

[red5]

Fack me, is that now against the rules?  I must have missed that meeting.  Sorry.

We have meetings? I see how it is...

 

Ps, Welcome.

 

No, not bloody you 72, the new lad.

 

PPS, I done bought annuvver Woxhall.

[Split_Pin]

Welcome along.

 

Mossy 265 appeals greatly, feed us!

[garethj]

Welcome, newbie.  I think I did a slot car post on here ages ago showing the fine resin chod now available, or I might have dreamt it and need to lay off the cheese before bed.

 

EDIT: This one

[inconsistant]

Thanks for the luke warm reception everywon. 

Kettle's on so I'll be round in a bit with a cuppa. I'll let you do your own sugar, and the milks a bit off so you'll have to scoop out the lumps while your on.

 

As soon as I work out how to post pix Ill do the mossy ovlovlo...

 

Sorry, it's my first day.

 

Cheers,

R

[Albert Ross]

Erm... where's the bacon butties and the racing page then? Come on!

[STUNO]

Welcome....you are obviously a nutter so this place will be perfect.

[RichardMoss]

 

Mossy 265 appeals greatly, feed us!

 

 

I don't own a Volvo but am sometimes known as Mossy

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Wow, this newfangled forum thing is GR9. It even allows new people to register.

 

Welcome onboard!

[inconsistant]

Now I've worked you all up into a froth, here's the photo of a mossy volvo 265 in a hedge...

 

 

Cheers,

R

[explosive-cabbage]

WOW.

 

Mossy, and in a hedge indeed. No shit!

 

I thought Olga was mossy and in a hedge. I think you win. Welcome!