Autoshite - what does it mean to you?

[Bren]

What does autoshite mean to you?

 

Do you like to own rare/unpopular/unloved vehicles because of a fondness for them?

 

Do you like the idea of owning something different / cheap?

 

Do you like to save something from the crusher and get a few more years out of it?

 

I was wondering what peoples rationale was for owning such vehicles and frequenting sites such as this.

I suppose I like coming on here to see cars that my father owned many moons ago, and me for that matter. Cars that I owned 15 - 20 years ago would be considered top class chod on here, when I started driving a few mates were also into their cars like me, and liked spannering and doing other work.

 

However, fast forward 20 years and my mates have given in to middle age, they take their cars to the garage now, the interest has gone, unlike me, I still like old tat, hence coming on here to share stories and experiences with the like minded.

 

So come on then, what does autoshite mean to you?

[Guest]

Protons, D701 SWL, white mocassins, horses taking on combi boilers and way too many in jokes to make any sense to the uninitiated.

[ruffgeezer]

A mutual love of the unloved, a place for swapping war stories of the tat we loved, the tat we lost and tat that got away.

[Cavcraft]

Montego sellers (or their defenders) who spy their arse, Proton owners/enthusiasts who haven't taken their medication and the opportunity to purchase Viagra golf accessories and shoes.

[Shep Shepherd]

A common interest in old, weird, obscure, left-field, unloved, unappreciated and unwanted vehicles, hammering bigger things over smaller things, nostalgia, and general oddness, automotive or otherwise

[Ian Nexus]

A reminder for some of us who have moved on to the new world of intellectual humor, and traditional British motoring values and of course MOTs and excessive automotive taxation

[Cavcraft]

Astra Vs Focus, Labour Vs Conservative.

[gtd2000]

Ian have you moved over to the Left Coast now?

[Ian Nexus]

Ian have you moved over to the Left Coast now?

Im back in the middle bottom at the moment, I forgot to change the profile, I was doing some stuff for Coda.

[vulgalour]

Nobody makes fun of my choice in cars, unless I deserve it.

[Cavcraft]

Maestros being shit.

[Micrashed]

Autoshite =

+

+

+

+

[Shep Shepherd]

^

"Bangernomics" got me into crap old cars back in the early 1990s. The Volvos feature on the Bangernomics website:

 

 

[sporty-shite]

Not having to keep up with the neighbours.

 

Being able to laugh at obscure in-jokes.

 

Perving over obscure tat that is far too far away, but still thinking that buying it is a good idea.

 

Buying the tat mentioned above.

 

etc.......

[Albert Ross]

Vauxhalls are shit.

CoLect tnite M8, I have Tranny. Is the bumbers crakeD?

Etc.

[Spiny Norman]

I buy shit old cars because I prefer them to shit new ones, and I'd rather spend what little money I have on beer. I like this forum because, barring the occasional pram/toys incident, no-one seems to take themselves too seriously and I get most of the jokes.

[Albert Ross]

No you don't. Cough.

[Negative Creep]

I buy shit old cars because I prefer the feel of them compared to bloated, detached modern cars. Plus I have no money.

[Split_Pin]

Something that I can't fix/bodge weekly gets boring, even though a lot of the jobs I dread tackling.

 

Pretty much everybody on here understands that!

 

Other than that, the spotting threads, surprise threads about someone rescuing a Renault 14 from a garden, doing up a Renault 12 and also reading the bus/truck shite threads.

 

I also like the threads about stuff I'd never have thought about mulling over, like shite car chases, shite technology and anti static strips.

 

The trolling/in-jokes, sarcasm and facetiousness don't bother me anymore.

 

Oh, also, the Autoshite stickers

[warren t claim]

I'm here because I'm too poor to contribute to Pistonheads. And I don't drive a heavily financed Audi A4 Tdi SLime or BMW 316d ErectileDysfunction.

[RoadworkUK]

I just like the colour scheme.

 

Plus I can be sure that, should some unfortunate mysterious gremlin beset my Rover 825, Pete-M will be along with his support in barely a moment.

[TimothyClaypole]

And I've no wish to buy an MX5 because it's the cheapest rear drive car I can get to make into a track slag.

[warren t claim]

I post on here because I can fucking swear and not get banned for 30 days.

[warren t claim]

And I've no wish to buy an MX5 because it's the cheapest rear drive car I can get to make into a track slag.

 

And likewise, I have no desire to chop the roof off a 560 SEC just to drive to Le Mans with my pretentious wanker mates.

[Des]

Nearest thing I could find to a society of creepy misfit haters.

[hairnet]

not fretting about whether my £200+ PCP OMGFINANCE shitta a month gets twatted scratched etc

 

while paying that amount total on something thatll last 3-4 years

 

as said owning something me auld fella had that i liked at the time

[Junkman]

I can't explain why, but I had a heart for automotive oddities from a very early age. The stuff that's on the radar of the mainstream collectors never did anything for me. Maybe it's the love for the underdog, I don't know. Hence I feel very much at home on Autoshite, but not yet entirely understood. This may change once you get to know me better.

 

I have a long and illustrious history of owning autoshite, even at times when I was relatively well of in life. Most of the autoshite I owned (and own) aren't bad cars, but cars that somehow missed the mark. I pride myself in having at one time owned a collection of eleven 1957-1963 Imperials, each one of them restored by myself. For 11 years in a row, I took two Imperials to the Power Big Meet in Västeras - the one I just had restored, and the one I was going to restore for the following year.

This rather agreeable habit was ended by a rather devastating divorce, from which I have not managed to recover to this day.

I also had a succession of 14 Ford Granada MKIIs. Most of them 2.8i Ghias, but not all of them. They probably aren't really autoshite, but at the time I had them, they were certainly no longer mainstream.

 

Right now, I see my autoshite merely as cheap transportation - except for the Rover, which really is a labour of love. It took me way too long in life to realise how bespoke the Rover P6 is for me. It's like they had me in mind when they designed it, the car fits me like a tailor-made suit.

 

Once it's finished, I would like to add a few more cars to my collection, provided my life circumstances allow it. The list isn't long, but certainly dead centre autoshite. Before I die, I would like to have owned a Renault 16 TX, a Simca 1100 TI, a Peugeot 203 Break, a Facel Vega, and a Wall of Death 1920s Indian Scout.

[Geep]

I love the humour, pics and general take on life on here. More of a reader than contributor but new cars just don't do anything for me. They are all the same black and silver plastic dash, more buttons than the space shuttle and all have the death of motion light which leads to dealer, computers and big bills. I spent years working on, and driving, brand new cars so having one or driving one has no novelty factor either. Modern to me is my 1995 Frontera sport. It's got electric windows, central locking, power steering and despite having a warning light of doom, it is usually still drivable, can be interrogated with a bent paper clip and sorted with some parts from ebay or factors for little money. I can't stand pretentiousness and have no desire to impress the neighbours or anyone else, this site fits the bill to a T, or should that be tea? Meh, who cares

[messerschmitt owner]

Autoshite É‘ËÂ.t ̬oʊʃʌɪt [noun]

 

1. A place for lovers of crap old cars, and some newer ones, to come together to discuss their rubbish cars with like minded idiots.

 

2. A car so bad even a senile, blind old giffer would never have bought it new just because it was cheap. Examples would include a Kia Magentis, Hyundai Sonata or a Ssanyong Musso and in earlier days a Wartburg Knight or FSO Polonez

 

3. Any big Citroen, Peugeot or Renault more than two weeks old. ex. see that Citroen XM/Renault 25/Peugeot 604, it's a pile of autoshite.

 

4. Any product of British Leyland/Rover made between 1970 and 2005, in particular the Montego, Maestro, Marina and City Rover.

 

5. A collective noun to describe the contents of the typical front garden of a member of the forum Autoshite. ex. That garden is full of Autoshite!!!! It's a pikey scrap collector's wet dream.

 

6. Any car not in the mainstream that you can buy cheaply because people spurn them for spurious reasons. ex. Citroens! - wouldn't touch the suspension on those! It is really complicated and it'll cost a fortune to fix.

[Wilko220]

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Two photos of Triumphs which sum up Autoshite for me: