Wheeler Dealers... WTF

[tonedepear]

the one where they did up a Saab 900T16 being a particular favourite.

 

The one they used as a "this is what it could look like" was my mate Stu's car. COINCIDENTALLY, Mrs Stu bought the finished one they did up.

"old out yer aaaahnd" etc.

[Bobthebeard]

Old out yer aaaahnd......

Much ROFLing there!

[retrogeezer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI8xA-hE6js

[Rocket88]

Hmmmm.....

filling gearboxes with bicylcle tyres and jelly, and padding out the bodywork with sawdust and banana skins etc etc......

 

I bought that car on eBay last year.....

 

You are a Quentin Blake illustration and I claim my share of D701 SWL.

 

Sounds more like a Quentin Wilson job to me..............

[Guest]

Hmmmm.....

filling gearboxes with bicylcle tyres and jelly, and padding out the bodywork with sawdust and banana skins etc etc......

 

I bought that car on eBay last year.....

 

You are a Quentin Blake illustration and I claim my share of D701 SWL.

 

Sounds more like a Quentin Wilson job to me..............

 

Nah. His stuff would have an MOT.

[rml2345]

Tayne's programme guide is bloody brilliant and bob on for the stuff I've seen.

Quite like that Mark Evans fella, he's the right mix of eejit and competent to be worth watching without thinking the programme is scripted dross.

Also, Dominic Littlewood is an unbearable baldy cretin who wants a good shoeing.

[Cavcraft]

Tayne, one word: Brilliant.

[garethj]

Tayne, nice job!

 

Also, Dominic Littlewood is an unbearable baldy cretin who wants a good shoeing.

Damon Hill was already a hero of mine before I found this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcHpyXO6lWM

[Formula Autos]

Fantastic job Tayne. Can I just add one more programme to the list though?

 

Beetle/VW/Camper Van/Kit Car Crisis

 

When: on and off for about the last ten years

Episodes:usually at least 10 per series

Made by: Independent for Discovery

Presenters: various - always the restorers/builders of the vehicles

Various people take on the episodic task of building or restoring one of said vehicles from the title, usually to an unrealistic and completely arbitrary deadline of the producer's invention. Some technical content, but sometimes degenerates into people whinging into a camcorder about how the task they've set themselves is far too draining on them/they get no sleep/never see their families/costs too much. Most episodes seem to gravitate to an engine builders called Race Tech and the rolling road gubbins that goes on there. The Einstein in Kit Car Crisis builds his car in a shed in his back garden that has no access to it, and so has to have the nearly finished car lifted out by crane. He then finishes the car in someone else's workshop, where it could have been assembled in the first place.

Good Points: Only half an hour long, less adverts. You might occasionally learn something. The two guys restoring a 'worthless' '70s Beetle seem pretty genuine enthusiasts.

Bad Points: Some A-grade VW scene tossers get a lot of screen time. There's only so long you can watch someone parping on filling and sanding a Beetle before you lose the will to live. Most things are subjected to a timed run down a drag strip/ time on a racetrack in the last episode.

Worth watching for: The crane bit in Kit Car Crisis, and the Camper Van is at least painted a sort of sludgy grey/beige.

[HillmanImp]

That is pretty epic work Tayne or should I say Rain Man. AICMFP.

[face]

I saw 10 minutes of 'Classic Car Rescue' yesterday evening - it was the E-Type episode.

 

Now, I never profess to have anything other than an extremely basic knowledge of mechanics and shit..........but they had apparently taken a car with 'wrecked bodywork' - looked pretty reasonable in the before shot to me and then stuffed a modern 'pop-up' sunroof in the thing - It looked fucking terrible.

[face]

Talking of vehicular TV, did anyone else catch that BBC show 'China on Four Wheels'?

 

The show was quite interesting but I found the fella who had the bread-van a clueless cock. Case in point was when his van starting making a "terrible noise" - sounds like the exhaust to me mate. They took it to a little Chinese garage who lifted it up and saw that the rear exhause section had come away - probably down to him driving it like a twat over those enourmously pot-holed mountain passes. Anyhow the mechanic casually fixed the exhaust in 5 minutes - the presenter was in shock after this little backstreet garage had mended his motor so quickly "this would take hours back in the UK"

 

The he went to an electric car factory - quick interview with the (extremely polite) owner who asked "would you like a test-drive"? The test track turned out to be a series of peaceful meandering semi-suburban scenes. The presenter proceeded to drive the thing like a bat out of hell, screaming it around the corners and finishing by locking the wheels up. The factory owner and sales woman passengers looked shell-shocked.

 

I'd like to know if anybody else saw this and found it odd?

[Chip]

Ah, remember Deal on Wheels now - it must have been Richard Sutton I remember puffing his cheeks because it cost £60 to fill up a '68 Dodge Charger he was reviewing. Dread to think what it would cost now.

[cort16]

Top work Tayne. I still watch deals on wheels when it comes on even though I've seen them all about 20 times.

[Rocket88]

Talking of vehicular TV, did anyone else catch that BBC show 'China on Four Wheels'?

 

The show was quite interesting but I found the fella who had the bread-van a clueless cock. Case in point was when his van starting making a "terrible noise" - sounds like the exhaust to me mate. They took it to a little Chinese garage who lifted it up and saw that the rear exhause section had come away - probably down to him driving it like a twat over those enourmously pot-holed mountain passes. Anyhow the mechanic casually fixed the exhaust in 5 minutes - the presenter was in shock after this little backstreet garage had mended his motor so quickly "this would take hours back in the UK"

 

The he went to an electric car factory - quick interview with the (extremely polite) owner who asked "would you like a test-drive"? The test track turned out to be a series of peaceful meandering semi-suburban scenes. The presenter proceeded to drive the thing like a bat out of hell, screaming it around the corners and finishing by locking the wheels up. The factory owner and sales woman passengers looked shell-shocked.

 

I'd like to know if anybody else saw this and found it odd?

 

Yes, I saw most of the first episode, until my blood reached boiling point. Two hammy presenters, with no idea about motor vehicles, being incredibly patronising to Chinese people.

[quicksilver]

Top work there Tayne, brought back a few memories. Annoying Cockney twats seem to be a recurring theme of modern programming but the 'is Born' series was great, presented by a guy with genuine knowledge and enthusiasm and not too dumbed down. Does anyone remember a mid-noughties show where two teams were each given a certain type of car and had to convert it into something bizarre; I recall Minis being turned into people carriers and Daimler hearses into off-roaders. They also had a weird double-ended Range Rover based thing with steering at one end and pedals at the other that the teams had to complete a challenge in to win more money/a prize. Can't remember what it was called or who presented (Trevor Nelson?), but I think Edd China was involved.

(EDIT: think it might have been 'Panic Mechanics' but google doesn't turn up a lot of detail)

 

One more worth mentioning is 'American Hot Rod', again made by Discovery IIRC and shown on Quest. It followed Boyd Coddington and his team creating rods and is worth watching for their incredible craftsmanship but as usual is sensationalised with impossible deadlines, every little setback being a 'disaster' and too much shouting and swearing.

[Jack_Harpers_Teeth]

There was also a show on Granada's Men & Motors (I think), based on the Bargain Hunt formula.

 

Two teams went around fairs buying automobilia, then, instead of trying to flog it at auction they had it valued by an "expert" to say whether they had achieved a profit on their purchases.

 

Interesting show, annoying presenters.....just wish I could remember what it was called that's all.

[RedSparrow]

Back when Men and Motors was on freeview there was one show called 'Sold in 60 seconds'. The presenter was called Charlie Taupe.

He would meet someone who wanted a used car and take them to an auction where usually they would ignore his advice and not buy anything he recommended, making the premise pointless.

It was fucking rubbish but strangely I always made a point of watching it. Anyone remember it?

[Jack_Harpers_Teeth]

There was also a show on Granada's Men & Motors (I think), based on the Bargain Hunt formula.

 

Two teams went around fairs buying automobilia, then, instead of trying to flog it at auction they had it valued by an "expert" to say whether they had achieved a profit on their purchases.

 

Interesting show, annoying presenters.....just wish I could remember what it was called that's all.

 

 

 

I've never heard of that one.

 

Found it!

 

It was called Automobilia

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1842569/

 

From Gary Ashburn's (Presenters page):

 

Automobilia – A new series commenced January 2004 on Men & Motors. Automobilia is the term for anything collectable in the world of cars – be it plans, photos, badges, models, historical accessories etc. The format sees two viewers who are into this theme of collecting, being assisgned to one of our experts and then cut between the two teams who try to spend £150 each on the best Automobilia they can find. ‘Cockney Geezer’ Gary ‘Gazza’ Ashburn is one of the two presenter/experts who precipitate in a good natured haggling match!

 

See I said the presenters were annoying. The shape of things to come?

[Jack_Harpers_Teeth]

Back when Men and Motors was on freeview there was one show called 'Sold in 60 seconds'. The presenter was called Charlie Taupe.

He would meet someone who wanted a used car and take them to an auction where usually they would ignore his advice and not buy anything he recommended, making the premise pointless.

It was fucking rubbish but strangely I always made a point of watching it. Anyone remember it?

 

Yeah remember that one what a dull person Charlie was - looked totally fucked up with the same old stuff.

 

Remember when he bought that Renault 5 for that young nipper - he hated the car ....and made his feelings totally known to everyone, he even managed to stir an emotion out of Mr Taupe.

[The Moog]

Also missing Car Sharks on Bravo

 

 

Two cars. Same make, same model and roughly the same age. Two teams. One week to turn their bangers into beauties, their lemons into peaches. And then flog the motors for as much dosh as they can make. They can do what they like to their car: soup it up, paint it, turn it into a tourist attraction The team that makes the most profit wins the contest. There are classic cars, Ford Capris and even ice-cream vans. Weve got teams of vicars, nightclub promoters, drag queens and rugby players. This is a makeover show like no other

 

 

It was shit

[RedSparrow]

Oh man I forgot car sharks. Fucking terrible. I recall one ep with some drag queens doing up landrovers for a profit.

I wish I could find clips of these bloody shows.

[Jack_Harpers_Teeth]

Me too.

 

Remember one of these shows where a group of surfers tried their best to make a "surf wagon" out of an LDV Convoy .

 

They got a sign company to make up some graphics, they went a bit further though and applied their own graphics "free of charge" which were so shit even for a Surf Wagon made out of an LDV - the surfers got really angry with the sign company and tore these FOC graphics off in front of them - ungrateful they were.

 

Wasn't there someone dressed as a shark in this show?

[Angrydicky]

I used to love Panic Mechanics. I remember one episode where they put the V8 engine from a Rover P6 in a milkfloat to make a dragster.

 

Also, Salvage Squad.

[Spiny Norman]

I haven't heard of half those old shows, though I do remember Wheelbase.

I did quite enjoy "A car is born" where he built his Cobra kit car, you could just tell his budget was going to get blown apart as soon as he specced the big Ford V8 for it! That was presented with a fair degree of mechanical nous and a refreshingly small amount of dicking about for the cameras.

The Land Rover one was good too, and I understand he's done one for a light aircraft as well though I haven't seen it.

[Wilko220]

Another one which I don't think has been mentioned yet was "The Car's The Star", in which Quentin Willson took an in-depth look at a classic motor each week.

Despite being presented by quite an annoying man it was actually a rather enjoyable programme, particularly as (unlike Classic Car Rescue, for example) they chose some interesting cars to feature. Here is a list from Wikiballs:

 

Hillman Imp

Lotus 7

Porsche 911

VW Beetle

Volkswagen Golf Mk1

Volvo Estate

McLaren F1

Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow

Jeep

DeLorean

Triumph Herald

Austin Mini

Lada

AC Cobra

Ford Mustang

Ford Capri

Ford Edsel

Reliant Robin

Austin Allegro

Citroen 2CV

Cadillac Series 62 (section 1959–1960)

Jenson Interceptor

Jaguar MK2

MGB

Ford Zephyr/Zodiac

Land Rover

 

More info here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0070xtj/episodes/guide

[pompei]

They also did the Fiat 500