You know you're a true 'Shiter when:

[Lord Sterling]

The Volvo is the oldest car in my company's car park apart from the terminally-foxed 1989 Sierra 2.3D GL which my department use a hack

 

Did you manage to get a picture of the Sierra, its got to be worth a picture at least.

[Shep Shepherd]

The Volvo is the oldest car in my company's car park apart from the terminally-foxed 1989 Sierra 2.3D GL which my department use a hack

 

Did you manage to get a picture of the Sierra, its got to be worth a picture at least.

 

Voila:

 

 

[Lord Sterling]

That is amazing!

[Shep Shepherd]

That is amazing!

 

It's amazing that the bloody thing is still running, considering the abuse that's meted out to it on a daily/nightly basis

[boobydoo]

You know you're a true shiter when you get a £50k Merc as a company car....but you'd rather drive a base model Solara with no rev counter or head restraints. Surely I should get some sort of 'Sad Twat' award?

[vulgalour]

1151. You don't tell your mechanic friend what you just bought, or what's wrong with it, until you're sure you can fix it yourself.

 

From before I passed my test:

1487a. Your driving instructor is confused by your automotive aspirations.

1487b. Your driving instructor thinks you're joking when you ask what all the buttons are for and how the mirror adjusters work because it's the first time you've encountered a car with so many electronic aids (true story! Car was a 2006ish Ford Fiesta).

 

32. Shortbus Dragon Syndrome. Instead of hoarding valuable items of great worth and shininess, you want to hoard unloved, often rusty and usually broken things of little worth and rarely shiny.

[Father Ted]

Your car is the oldest in your work's car park by at least five years

It is, and Im sick of people telling me its about time I got a new one.

[warren t claim]

When your idea of ABS and traction control is warped discs and a slipping clutch.

[Albert Ross]

Your car is the oldest in your work's car park by at least THIRTY years

It is, and Im sick of people telling me its about time I got a new one.

 

All I want to do is watch their have electronic fits when the bomb drops, and then drive home, my face all melted like in the films.

[quicksilver]

From before I passed my test:

1487a. Your driving instructor is confused by your automotive aspirations.

1487b. Your driving instructor thinks you're joking when you ask what all the buttons are for and how the mirror adjusters work because it's the first time you've encountered a car with so many electronic aids (true story! Car was a 2006ish Ford Fiesta)

 

This one mirrors my own experience, I took my test in my '78 Fiesta as I much preferred it to the instructor's Fiat Bravo. I was hoping the examiner would ask me to switch the rear foglight on so I could be a smartarse and tell him it didn't have one as it was built before they became compulsory Almost came unstuck though as the law says any car used for a driving test must have a built-in head restraint on the passenger seat, which my Fiesta didn't. The only Mk1 Fiesta in the local scrappy was 3 cars up and I well remember the fun and games my dad and his mate had getting the passenger seat out of it.

[eddyramrod]

I took my test in my '78 Fiesta

 

So did I, except it wasn't mine, it was a brand new BSM car. UYM 717S, Peppermint Green. Lovely.

[Guest]

18727c. You can boast your £150 car bought 18 months ago is the only one in the car park that has appreciated due to the increase in scrap values.

[HMC]

Your car doubles in value when you fill it up

you park at the top of inclines 'just in case'

Parked at the top of said incline you point the wheels to the kerb 'just in case'

You are proud rather than embarrased when you car turns out to be the oldest at work/ in the family

A new set of tyres could technically be an insurance write off

You keep some decent car mags in the boot incase of breakdowns

[Pillock]

Shopping trip destinations are dictated by carparks on an incline to assist with bump-starting

When telling people what you drive, the most common response is "What?" because that model hasn't existed for 27 years

[Rusty Pelican]

Im really proud to have the oldest car at work , i get grief all the time ,

My answer , Theres no depretiation on something worth feck all , how much you lost this year so far then

 

You know your a true shitter when the main dealer for your car either

A doesnt exist any more or

B laugh at you when you ask for parts

C A new exhaust costs more than the whole car cost you

[pompei]

Or the sprog in the main dealer hasn't heard of your model of car.

[quicksilver]

You know you're a shiter when you think beige and brown are 'nice colours'

[Cavcraft]

Or the sprog in the main dealer hasn't heard of your model of car.

 

 

Had that before when trying to get parts for a BX.

 

'Citroen never made a car like that'

 

OH RLY? What's that outside the window then?

 

'I'll get the parts manager'

[wuvvum]

You know you're a true shiter when you get a £50k Merc as a company car....but you'd rather drive a base model Solara with no rev counter or head restraints. Surely I should get some sort of 'Sad Twat' award?

Having been a passenger in your £50K Merc, I can understand that. It's a lovely car but does absolutely nothing for me at all. I'd much rather be in the Solara too, although mine does have head restraints and a rev counter (decadence...).

[Caffiend]

94. Every so often your work smoke breaks coincide with those of that guy in IT who you've worked with for over 2 years and you STILL can't remember his name (goddammit) but know exactly what his autoshite is and the autoshite he dreams of.

 

94. Conversations during said smoke breaks can usually be summarised as "my shite is shite-ier than your shite" (NB I'm currently winning since I acquired my TZD. Yay me.)

 

94. If it's BX shite, you automatically leave it in gear when parking ... anywhere.

 

94. The car looks worse when it's clean because all the little scratches and dings have been uncovered.

[Paul Dupart]

You become immune to smells like burning oil, petrol leaks and piss.

 

The MOT inspector advises you not to drive it home.

 

And when I parked outside our local shops this morning, I parked my N reg Saab behind an N reg Corolla, then an N reg 405 estate pulled up, I was so excited that when I came home I had to tell everyone!

[skattrd]

Your to do list for the car does not include polishing but looks remarkably like an MOT failure sheet.

[catsinthewelder]

It's a remarkable event when you see another car like yours, its once a year territory when you see duplicates of your entire fleet on the same day.

[vulgalour]

Twelvety. It's not supposed to make that noise, but you know it's not dangerous, so you just turn up the radio until you can't hear said noise anymore.

[Shep Shepherd]

It's a remarkable event when you see another car like yours, its once a year territory when you see duplicates of your entire fleet on the same day.

 

I haven't seen a Volvo 740 estate identical in colour and spec to The Volvo since 2004. There are a fair few TV2 lookalikes knocking around, though.

[406V6]

...you'd rather read Practical Classics magazine than Octane

[Negative Creep]

It's a remarkable event when you see another car like yours, its once a year territory when you see duplicates of your entire fleet on the same day.

 

I haven't seen a Volvo 740 estate identical in colour and spec to The Volvo since 2004. There are a fair few TV2 lookalikes knocking around, though.

 

 

Or, you're sad when a certain piece of shite you see every day vanishes (like that red Bluebird on the way to my work)

[Angrydicky]

^^ Yes! There has been a really tidy red Metro parked outside a house near Southend airport for the last year. A couple of weeks ago I noticed it had gone and its place taken by a Fiat Cinquecento (sp?) Luckily it is taxed into 2013, so hasn't yet been scrapped, as I feared.

 

The vehicle details for E640 BOO are:

Date of Liability 01 02 2013

Date of First Registration 03 09 1987

Year of Manufacture 1987

Cylinder Capacity (cc) 998cc

CO2 Emissions Not Available

Fuel Type PETROL

Export Marker N

Vehicle Status Licence Not Due

Vehicle Colour RED

Vehicle Type Approval Not Available

 

It's on disabled tax as well!

[Skizzer]

988. You're as aware of the price of scrap as you are of the price of petrol.

989. You spend more time reading the eBay tat thread than you do watching tv.

990. You have more car keys than pairs of shoes.

991. Your garage has a 2' breaker bar and a set of axle stands readily to hand, but the Turtle Wax is buried at the back somewhere.

992. You come back from holiday with one picture of your wife/kids and 237 of old Fiats and Toyotas.

993. You have at least one car that you buy parts for because they become available, not because you currently need them.

994. You join an owners club for the knowhow and the parts discount, but don't go to meetings because their cars are all polished and yours is full of old top hoses and Ginsters wrappers.

995. At Tesco's, you spend more time checking out the car park for chod than the shelves for food.

996. If you ever get flashed by a Gatso, you'll ask for 10x8 print of the picture just to show your mates your car went that fast.

997. You get more post from the DVLA than you do Christmas cards.

[pompei]

Skizzer, brilliant observations!