Bad design bloopers

[Pete-M]

Lancia Integrale. The easiest way to change the alternator involves removing the o/s/f strut, header tank and a multitude of other bits.

[Negative Creep]

Lancia Integrale. The easiest way to change the alternator involves removing the o/s/f strut, header tank and a multitude of other bits.

 

 

Mk.2 MR2 involves the removal of the driveshaft.

[hennabm]

Clear indicator lenses. Great idea except that I can never bloody see them...

 

+ 1

[Morgan84]

Why compromise safety over cosmetics

[Negative Creep]

Clear indicator lenses don't bother me. Indicators fitted in the middle of the headlight are a different thing entirely..........

[ruffgeezer]

Speaking of:

 

How about a hill start in a manual?

 

Yeah but that won't work, because you need 3 feet to allow you to operate the foot operated "hand" brake, the clutch and the accelerator...

[Split_Pin]

Thankfully only 8v VX engines have to have the T-Belt removed to change the 'stat. there is a mod for this where a second thermostat can be added to the cooling system, only useful if its stuck open.

 

Notwithstanding those that will say, 'Aye the whole fucking car', I find 90's Corsas to still look quite presentable on the outside but very rotten beneath due to rust traps that belong in the 1970's. Chassis rails at the track control arm, drivers side rear inner wheelarch where mud collects around the filler neck, front crossmember, inner sill, where their vertical side is exposed underneath the car and there is a seam, immediately in front of the rear wheel. Can only be seen from right under the car. Where the arch liners are held onto the inner wing with plastic studs. Mud/debris collects here with inevitable results. B pillars cracking on 3 door pre-97 cars, even on standard cars.

It does seem to pre 97 cars that are worse. My current W-reg is not nearly as bad as my old P-reg was.

 

Have we had cars where everything from the tailgate button forward has to be disassembled to change a headlight bulb? Renault modus is meant to be esp bad for this.

 

Draining engine oil is best done when its warm right? What about sump plugs that turn to Dairylea when heated to anything above 10c?

[oman5]

Nobody remember the later marina/Ital comedy dashboard that faced the radio, clock and ashtray AWAY from the driver? IIRC they also had wipers set up for LHD so you always had an unswept area of vision.

[Split_Pin]

I remember those, thought it was v odd!

 

My mums old Clubman had the radio located in front of the passenger - was this always the case or just a bodge? Dodnt work anyway!

[vulgalour]

Mk2 (80s) VW Polo

> I nearly forgot about this blooper because it was one of the first things we got shut of; front inner arch crud catchers. Great idea, they're supposed to prevent all the road muck and mud and whatnot getting stuck inside your arches and rotting them away, but as we found when we removed them the opposite was true. Now mud and whatnot gets stuck in the bottom of the front wings on the trailing edge (as it does at the back and rots out the rear valance) but it's visible and clean-out-able.

> The other blooper is the battery tray, which traps water and rots out invisibly with the first thing you know about it being wet pedals because it's rotted straight through the bulkhead.

> Then there's the fuel filler neck which is another muck trap and rots out the inner arch on that side if you don't keep an eye on it.

> Rear light clusters are a pain to change bulbs in, access is limited and when you do finally get the 'coffins' off to change a bulb, quite often the catch snaps. Add to this an almost Escort-like propensity for the bulb sockets to never quite be the right size for bulbs and you're quite often punching the light cluster in the hope it will joggle the bulb to come on again so you don't have to remove the coffin again.

> Rear number plate lights are excellent for trapping water and rusting the cross-head screws that hold the trims on so when you come to unscrew them, the screwdriver just chews up all the rust and you can't change the bulbs without getting a drill.

 

Why do I own a Polo again? Stupid car.

[Pete-M]

Mercedes Vito. It's not just the foot operated parking brake, the terrible dash mounted gearstick, the chocolate synchromesh, snapping coil springs, exploding vents or mysterious unsolvable front suspension clunk (which Mercedes deem to be 'normal', but which isn't there for the first 20k miles), it's not even the rear interior light's habit of falling out randomly, or the alarming bulb consumption. Not even gonna mention that carefully driven they do 30 mpg if you're lucky.

 

It's more that everything that can break, will break. More often than not, something else will break when it needs removing and refitting in order to fix whatever broke first. If it doesn't actually break, it'll rust or fall off. Repeat until weighbridge.

[Autoplas]

Mercedes Vito. It's not just the foot operated parking brake, the terrible dash mounted gearstick, the chocolate synchromesh, snapping coil springs, exploding vents or mysterious unsolvable front suspension clunk (which Mercedes deem to be 'normal', but which isn't there for the first 20k miles), it's not even the rear interior light's habit of falling out randomly, or the alarming bulb consumption. Not even gonna mention that carefully driven they do 30 mpg if you're lucky.

 

It's more that everything that can break, will break. More often than not, something else will break when it needs removing and refitting in order to fix whatever broke first. If it doesn't actually break, it'll rust or fall off. Repeat until weighbridge.

 

How do Mercedes manage to make such crap vans ?

 

I can never understand it to be honest, some companies you half expect it but Mercedes ?

[Lord Sterling]

Rover 800

 

Wipers that can hardly be lifted up more than a couple of centimeters, and when tried, they hit the top of the bonnet lip, even with the bonnet up its hard to change the wipers.

 

Scuttle panels and wiper positions, the wiper always hits off the scuttle panel which isnt flush with the screen, this can damage your wipers alot faster.

 

Micra K11

 

Pollon filters are basically situated stupidly behind the glovebox, you have to pull the whole air-box where the pollon filter is situated out from behind the glovebox, as the pipes running to the box are plastic these can be easily manipulated and break, even if they dont they are still out of place so from having an air-tight flow of air, air now escapes all over the place

 

Still, at least more warm air is getting into the cabin now I suppose.....

 

Handles - Seen them break often quite easily on Micras. Must get myself a pair in case it happens....

 

Others

 

Electronic handbreaks, particularly on Audis, which often fail......

[John F]

Calibra: the worst headlights known to man.

Not quite...

 

 

 

OK, I'll accept that anything designed & made by Citroen is probably going to be worse.

[cobblers]

Mercedes Vito. It's not just the foot operated parking brake, the terrible dash mounted gearstick, the chocolate synchromesh, snapping coil springs, exploding vents or mysterious unsolvable front suspension clunk (which Mercedes deem to be 'normal', but which isn't there for the first 20k miles), it's not even the rear interior light's habit of falling out randomly, or the alarming bulb consumption. Not even gonna mention that carefully driven they do 30 mpg if you're lucky.

 

It's more that everything that can break, will break. More often than not, something else will break when it needs removing and refitting in order to fix whatever broke first. If it doesn't actually break, it'll rust or fall off. Repeat until weighbridge.

 

 

You've just described my mates works van down to a tee. It clunks so hard on the front that I was genuinely scared to be in it until I researched it and found that they all do that sir. It's also got random blebs of mega rust in the middle of panels.

 

It's been replaced with a 61 plate Sprinter, which in a year has gone through stacks of bulbs, the rear interior lights don't work and it too has developed an absolutely lousy clunk (although It's probably got completely different suspension to a Vito).

 

His company are really gentle on vans, for example they have a 215k mile 6 speed Vivaro that's on it's first clutch and gearbox!

[dollywobbler]

Those Vitos are truly dreadful. They rust in the most unlikely places - often right in the middle of panels. Ah, good ol' German build quality...

[willswitchengage]

His company are really gentle on vans, for example they have a 215k mile 6 speed Vivaro that's on it's first clutch and gearbox!

 

Clearly just that superior British build quality

[Albert Ross]

His company are really gentle on vans, for example they have a 215k mile 6 speed Vivaro that's on it's first clutch and gearbox!

 

Clearly just that superior British build quality

 

French.... Japanese.... erm..... whatever.

[cms206]

Mercedes Vito. It's not just the foot operated parking brake, the terrible dash mounted gearstick, the chocolate synchromesh, snapping coil springs, exploding vents or mysterious unsolvable front suspension clunk (which Mercedes deem to be 'normal', but which isn't there for the first 20k miles), it's not even the rear interior light's habit of falling out randomly, or the alarming bulb consumption. Not even gonna mention that carefully driven they do 30 mpg if you're lucky.

 

It's more that everything that can break, will break. More often than not, something else will break when it needs removing and refitting in order to fix whatever broke first. If it doesn't actually break, it'll rust or fall off. Repeat until weighbridge.

 

 

Ahhh yes, the Vito... we discussed those when I was down I seem to recall.

 

My boss has three, two autos bought new and a second hand manual. They all eat bulbs but they genuinely aren't hard worked and they've not started to rot yet. Boss was pleased with fuel consumption, but then until those arrived with the exception of one Transit (a G-reg 190) we only ever operated Freight Rovers. My main issues are the driving position and the utterly stupidic automatic 'box.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

My mums old Clubman had the radio located in front of the passenger - was this always the case or just a bodge? Dodnt work anyway!

 

Mini radios were always in the passenger footwell until the very end when they started fitting fancy dashboards.

[fiatdaft]

Vivaro's are built in luton.

[Pete-M]

My work has two Vito minibuses, both 09 plates. One has done 60k, the other 70k. Neither have rusted yet, but they've both deteriorated incredibly quickly mechanically and trim wise. Gearboxes on both are getting more and more obstinate with age, both have full MB service history and are maintained above and beyond Mercedes' requirements. They're both knackered. They both appear immaculate when you see them, but that clunk on the front end does sound like something is about to fall off and they've both got it.

 

We've got a few Seat Alhambras of similar age with similar mileages on, other than eating rear discs for fun (it's impossible to see the inner rear pads without removing the wheel so they invariably get ignored until it's too late) they've been mega-reliable and haven't fallen apart or developed faults with anything like the regularity of the Vitos.

 

It's scary when the Vitos cost us close to £30k new and are worth around £9k now, whereas the Alhambras were £18k and are worth about £9k. We're not getting any more Vitos.

[SambaS]

Audi A4 Manual 2.5 TD 2004: There's a footrest that gets in the way when using the clutch. Also the handbrake can't really be used with the front armrest down. Odd flaws for a very nice well built and designed car. And I always seem to knee the corner of the dash getting in. That's my best mates car, am too used to my own cars I guess. Also, since getting the Polonez, every other car I use seems poorly designed. The FSO does everything so well.

[chaseracer]

...Also, since getting the Polonez, every other car I use seems poorly designed. The FSO does everything so well.

You're 12 days late!

[ypsilandra]

MB Vito is made in Spain, not a country especially renowned for automotive quality. The business I work for runs hundreds of Trafics and Masters. Both have a consistent habit of their clutches going around 80k miles. It's so common that the dealer we buy most of them through has always suggested that we only take out 3 year or 76k mile lease/hire agreements, just in case

 

The Trafics eat brakes and get a bit loose around the front end but on the whole are pretty tough. The Masters are good workhorses but have a habit of their side loading doors flying off their runners. One colleague had his side door fly off only stopping it's flight for freedom when it landed on Camden High Street. When he tackled Renault, they told him that Renault's weren't "really meant to be used for multi-drop work" They also have flimsy little door handles that snap off when it's cold. I currently have a new one to fit, having finally managed to get one delivered by Renault (4 weeks later). Unbelievably Renault Master door handles are made in teeny weeny Monaco! I wasn't aware there was any room for any sort of factory, perhaps it's just one Monagasque craftsman in his shed...

[willswitchengage]

Out of interest are we talking about the old FWD Vito or the new RWD one? My sister has the oldie... has to open the door by winding down the window and pulling the exterior handle. Oh, and the self levelling suspension has broken.

 

I always fancied a Vivaro if I wanted to be a van driver, great Nissan engines and the build quality looks a lot more solid than Ford. That or LDV Pilot

[Autoplas]

Those Vitos are truly dreadful. They rust in the most unlikely places - often right in the middle of panels. Ah, good ol' German build quality...

 

Spanish build quality, not German apparently........

[R9UKE]

Renault Mégane II:

Headlight bulbs. Reach up through a litle flap in the wheel arch liner, feel around and hope for the best. Bad in a normal Meggy, but mine has Xenon headlights. Safe to say the indicator bulbs are in there for life...

Scuttle drains with the tiniest of drain holes, ready to clog at any point and take out your wipers, before the trapped water begins flowing through the air intake to ruin your climate control and fill the under floor cubby storage with water!

Boot lid seems to hold water inside it then dump it all over you when you open it!!

 

Chevrolet Spark - vile courtesy car experience.

NO CLOCK!!! Apparently it's reserved for higher spec models.

There's an airbag light constantly glowing at the top of the centre console to warn you that the passenger airbag is ON...

 

Yes, the Citroen C4 has the WORST glovebox EVA. Grandmother drives one and the glovebox is just a rattly mess of it's own trim that has fallen to pieces inside.

 

Another vote for crappy XM style foot parking brakes. Although I do like the electric ones.... in Renaults anyway

 

Selective door opening is one thing that really pisses me off. Click unlock once for the drivers door, then twice if you want them all open. Shite.

[Pete-M]

Out of interest are we talking about the old FWD Vito or the new RWD one?

 

RWD in my case.

[Station]

Renault interiors - look nice from photos, but the whole thing warps at the corners when pressed with finger.

Astra mk3 'Britax' indicators - lose their lenses when even looked at funny.

Fiat Ulysse pedals - are angled as such that you have to bend you legs and feet as if you're ski-ing downhill.