Autoshite Quote of the Year

[Ross_K]

...you really know your cars shite when a dog won't even piss on it.

[DSdriver]

Philibusmo wrote:

Its not even that rusty, apart from bubbling on the door and rear arches...

[philibusmo]

That probably was tempting fate a little too much. All this rust probably appeared the second after I had poseted that.

May I suggest that the above quote be twinned with this photo?

[quicksilver]

Cavette strikes again!

The brown colour of the car represents his inner arse, the branch is one of his intestines and the bee fairy is holding on to his split knackers which his wife kicked up his fat arse. The third unsplit one is actually a gooseberry that became stuck in his windpipe and couldn't go down any further because his bollocks were blocking the way.

 

Either that or he's a dickhead. Possibly both.

[idiotboy]

That probably was tempting fate a little too much. All this rust probably appeared the second after I had poseted that.

May I suggest that the above quote be twinned with this photo?

 

Is that part of a Triumph?

[M'coli]

^^^ Lancia Y10 going by his current welding project and the colour of the paint.

[Volksy]

idiotboy wrote:

the HT leads are the original Champion's from sometime last century have all the flexibility of the Tay Bridge and probably the resistance of a Puritan in a Gay bar

[catsinthewelder]

I've patched a couple of holes in the past with gaffa tape and fibre glass resin and it's like a kwiksave carbon fibre.

 

[pocket.calculator]

This is going to be a real challenge. The ebay tat thread is full of amazing quotes from feckless ebayers!

My favourite eBay quote is 'Unique reg number'. They're all fucking unique!

[Cavcraft]

Trigger: I'd imagine most people are big in the microcar world

 

[Craig the Princess]

I've always got a few HOT GRANNIES on my watch list!!! PHWOOOAAAARRR

[maxpower]

micrashed for this one:

 

Oh, NEVER apply deep heat rub to your cock, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time. Dont ask me how I know this, but its really not a good idea.

 

 

[worldofceri]

Wildly out of context, this, but I can't resist:

 

The car can be thought of like a toilet.

 

From his mind boggling electronics lessons in his Renault GTA thread.

[KruJoe]

 

It's Pogweasel!

 

 

From here:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=13700&start=2115#p377247

[KruJoe]

Re: "Benidorm or Bust Rally, sept 2012. Sounds Fun"

 

lol*

[Ross_K]

I've had a quick chat with the guy with that Espaz, They got it to weigh in, then realised it's all plastic

[sporty-shite]

I hope O'connell gets hayfever of the cock, sneezes, blows his bollocks off and crashes his company BMW Mini into a concrete bollard which neatly sends his higly pollenated bell end right up his stomach, never to return.

[AeroNautiCal]

MINTOLA Xantia V6!!! I would literally allow this car to BUM me

 

I originally found this site via a pic on Google Images, I then spent waaaaaaaaay too many hours crying with laughter at the brilliant quotes I found (mainly on the eBat Tat thread), with the most hilarious being by Mr. B.

 

I immediately joined, and have laughed my tits off ever since!

[Spiny Norman]

I ran over a pair of shagging badgers once on a country lane..

[DSdriver]

A60rod wrote:

Stomils. Circa 1994. The ones with the tread half way up the sidewall. Made in Poland. That's what you want. Made of old 12" vinyl and socks. The way forward. Sideways.

[Louise2cv]

They have got a whole Play for Today into the message:

 

Thank you for yesterday! it was lovely to see you again. We arrived back in pouring rain but this morning the sun is shining and I'm feeling much better after a night's sleep - the first since we arrived! Only a small crisis while we were away some one choked on a piece of potato!!! We watched the Lifeboat go out on a rescue at 11pm! Muck Love P & L

[Cavcraft]

Albert said:

 

'I saw this thread earlier. Walked past it a few times during the day, noticed nothing suspicious. I then heard a weird wailing noise. I then realised it was this thread making the noise. I carried about my business. It was only later, when other people got involved, that I felt it the right time to tell you that I saw someone tampering with it. He was a 6 footer, every inch a Dwarf, and he was a very pale skinned black youth, must have been nearly 90 she was, only had one leg, and they were wearing a pair of white moccasins. Ramble blether etc. Nurse!'

[Volksy]

Pete-M Wrote:

In the first rain of June it was like trying to steer a pair of lubricated teflonâ„¢ dolphins using bungee cords, a divining rod and some hairy string.

[vulgalour]

Wildly out of context but Louise supplied this gem.

 

Next time I'm A-framing and sticking to me woodbines.

[Cavcraft]

Mouseflakes: 'I think this looks great - like a shark really pissed off at having a wine gum stuck in its back teeth.'

That's just had me spitting tea at the monitor again!

[KruJoe]

Point of order, shoes should be black, if you must 'cut a dash' then brown is acceptable. If your footwear is white then you better be stomping moccasins.

[Guest]

Ford seem to be a huge fan of plastic inlet manifolds - total joke - the one on the oil burn mondeo is the shonkiest example of flapwank, cake and arse cheese paring cost engineering I've seen this side of Tibet!

 

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=14070

[dollywobbler]

I've edited this one down a bit.

 

Plan;

Buy Pony...

Be inundated with attractive ladies who wish to have sex with me.

 

From this thread. viewtopic.php?f=1&t=13700&start=2640

[CreepingJesus]

From Triumph 1300's thread...

 

I left him to it and when I came back he had managed to pile on well over an inch of glowing slag across a 2 inch radius and the carpet underneath resembled the lower half of Bob Marley's favourite t-shirt. It was complete with those characteristic bits of welding wire sticking out at all angles. I lol'd heartily.

 

And so did I. It's funny how discussions about welding throw out some interesting descriptions and metaphors!

[rml2345]

Oh aye, I bet a fucking 4 Stroke OneLungSoreFinger Fleeandchee Sports Madness iCheeTwattery Wingle Wangle 125 positively growls