Amusing incidents on the roads

[Futuramic]

I know that there's already a discussion concerning how much we dislike other road users and their vehicles. Such as black BMWs and blue sidelights. Which is nothing at all like my black BMW with blue sidelights; but I digress.

 

Anyway good or amusing things happen on the roads each day so here's our chance to brighten up Auto Shite with good news from the two lane blacktop.

 

Here's mine. This started off as a bad incident. I was approaching a junction on a fast country road. I was going quickly. A green MG ZT (the big Rover 75 based one) estate had stopped and should have given way. The law of the new reared up and he decided that his, the more expensive car, had right of way. I shall explain that the law of the new requires any driver of a car bought more recently than others in the vicinity to bully them in creative ways. A classic is to overtake on a dual carriageway and then immediately slow down.

 

Or in this case aggressively barge out in front of my speeding coupe. I stood hard on the middle pedal and avoided stoving in his tailgate but it was close.

 

And then it got good. His car had a "1.8 turbo". I read this off the bootlid as I finished up a few inches away from it. In his panic he welded his accelerator to his Halfords overmat and induced the turbo part of his 1.8. Unfortunately such hooliganism was enough to blow his oil seals. Upon spool up the car belched out a dense and sustained fog of grey sufficient to blur the whole road. It began sputtering and was last seen pulling off into a convenient farmyard. Justice was done.

[DSdriver]

I'm not making excuses for the bloke (its his own fault for driving one of those) but perhaps the terminal failure had already started as he pulled out in front of you - he was probably expecting it to zip off up the road. However, never let the possible truth get in the way of a good yarn. I am racking my braincells for one of my own but the said braincells are refusing to cooperate at the moment.

[fiatdaft]

If it was grey smoke it wasn't the turbo dying !

[chaseracer]

OMG HGF? In a 1.8 K?

 

Shirley not...?

[barefoot]

An old story from a long, long time ago.

But in the days when it was the 'old' A50 & it used to meander gently through the villages between Stoke & Derby

I came up behind a half timbered mini countryman thing.

It was pottering along at a steady rate of knots & contained two blokes in the front

& a relatively small COW in the back.

 

That's it, no punchline, I've just never seen anything like it before or since.

[Guest Tony Hayers]

......two blokes in the front

& a relatively small COW in the back.

 

That's it, no punchline, I've just never seen anything like it before or since.

 

 

Mini though, thats impressive.

[Rocket88]

Yesterday [and it was totally my fault] I managed to plough into the back of a newish Fiesta [at about 10 mph]. We both leapt out, me apologising for my stupidity, and examined the "impact zone" not a mark on either car! We both went on our seperate ways.........................

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yesterday [and it was totally my fault] I managed to plough into the back of a newish Fiesta [at about 10 mph]. We both leapt out, me apologising for my stupidity, and examined the "impact zone" not a mark on either car! We both went on our seperate ways.........................

 

Years ago, myself and 3 mates were on our way to a wedding in a 1974 Mini Clubman Estate. Driving along a main road, slowed down, indicated right and just as we were turning right....

 

...BANG!

 

A new Omega on trade plates hit us. But - the Clubman's bumper corner had gouged the side of the Omega spectacularly. Damage to the Mini; none.

[myglaren]

......two blokes in the front

& a relatively small COW in the back.

 

That's it, no punchline, I've just never seen anything like it before or since.

 

 

Mini though, thats impressive.

 

I worked with an art director, Michael Franzén, and his wife, a PR consultant rears ago.

They lived on a small working farm and one day turned up with a calf in the back of their mini - a standard mini, not an estate.

 

They were slightly mad though.

[lovejoy]

Myglaren wrote - I worked with an art director, Michael Franzén, and his wife, a PR consultant rears ago.

They lived on a small working farm and one day turned up with a calf in the back of their mini - a standard mini, not an estate.

 

They were slightly mad though.

 

Many moons ago, whilst piloting a rental Transit back from cornwall to dorset, a herd of deer leapt in front of me; it was in the wee hours, I was flat out (Mk 1 Transit, 65 mph??) one deer got impaled into the grille. I unpicked it, heaved it in the back, next morning the Rental firm said

"Oh yeah, and what was the other car ?" I said , it's in the back..... tried to sell it that morning to local butchers, no-one interested, so ended up stuffing it (rigor mortis had set in by then!!) into the BACK of the firm's secretary's BMC Mini, in the Devizes Police HQ where we had to meet that morning.

I think she liked venison.....

[ashmicro]

In the 1950's my Grandfather had a succession of Daimlers, his favourite being the Conquest Century. While he was driving up Royal Acenue in Belfast a bus pulled out into Grandad's path. The corner of the Daimler's big heavy chrome rear bumper hooked itself just nicely into the rear wheelarch of the bus, and ripped the side of the bus open.

 

Some years ago I had a yellow Morris Ital 1.7, and myself and a mate were heading to Bangor one November evening to meet up with a couple of ladies. We'd been getting tailgated by a then almost new Honda CRX, who eventually passed us giving the wanker gesture. Some time later we saw the CRX again, upside down and bits of exhaust, glass and trim, as well as one wheel lying on the carriageway. Matey boy was standing looking at what was his car. I stopped to see if he was OK, but as my mate walked towards him he picked up the rear silencer and handed it to Mr Honda saying "I think you dropped this".

 

There are still traces of Honda red paint on the wall of Bangor Cemetery, almost 20 years later!

[barefoot]

All this talk of mini's reminds me of the old gag;

 

How do you get two whales in a mini?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

straight up the A5 & turn left.

 

I'll get my coat

[Lord Sterling]

Yesterday [and it was totally my fault] I managed to plough into the back of a newish Fiesta [at about 10 mph]. We both leapt out, me apologising for my stupidity, and examined the "impact zone" not a mark on either car! We both went on our seperate ways.........................

 

Same thing happend to me when I had my Mk2 Sterling on the road. Was following a Mk2 Mondeo towing a small trailer, I wasnt exactly paying attention when he stopped at the traffic lights and I reacted too late.

 

Thankfully there was only very minor damage, the plastic light cover (A 2CV one) from the blokes trailer and a mark on my bumper. We both sort of inspected the damage, decided it was just minor, shook hands and went our seperate ways.

[DSdriver]

Many years ago when Range Rovers were first invented, one of my bosses bought one and decided that even though he lived in sarf lunnon he was now part of the landed gentry and would go deer shooting in Scotland. Driving up over night a dear ran across in front of him and he totalled the brand new Rangy. He turned up at work the next week to be met by a big sign saying Deer 1 - Len 0.

[Futuramic]

I only saw the aftermath of this; but it was funny for passers by.

 

A man, and his nineties type VW Golf, had gone shopping for fence panels. Such an item would be too large for his hatchback so he thoughtfully fitted a roofrack. He bought one of the cheapo type made of single layer rough sawn timber with 1x1 battens. He put it on top of the car. For safety's sake he tied it down.

 

Anyone would have used string. This man, wanting to go one better, deployed a set of orange ratchet straps. This put the fence panel under significant tension. As I drove past he had stopped and switched his hazards on. He was standing by the car with his head in his hands looking comprehensively defeated. The panel had, upon the car going over a bump presumably, rended itself into worthless planks. Half of it had fallen over the windscreen and the rest on the roof. There were other bits of wood all over the road.