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Autoshite lexicon


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236 replies to this topic

#61 OFFLINE   Shep Shepherd

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    DOGGAGE!

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 09:14 PM

GR9 - one up from GR8 ;)


Cars come and cars go, but The Volvo abides.

 

2003 - Date: The Volvo - 1990 Volvo 740 SE Dogmatic estate.

 

2016 - Date: The Aero - 2000 Saab 9-5 Aero HOT manual estate.


#62 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 09:28 PM

Stu_CDXing: the art of polishing ones bonnet with population paste.

 

Guaranteed MOT pass: Channel islands speak for 'it's f*cked'.

 

Done a Peugeot: something has broken and/or one of the doors doesn't open.


  • warren t claim likes this
"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#63 OFFLINE   Pete-M

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    ALL VXLs ARE SHIT.

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 12:15 AM

PRV - rough as a bears arse with a useable rev range of 2499 - 2501 rpm. Fitted to such things of beauty as the Peugeot 604, Volvo 264, Talbot Tagora, UMM Alter II, Renault 30, Renault Espace, Delorean and Citroen XM. 

Barrett - to buy a plastic car that is rusty as fuck.

Hirst Cab - anything that would have been seen around Wakefield in 1983 illegally plying for hire. 


 


  • Twiggy likes this

214837.png 180526.png

Never knowingly inoffensive.


#64 ONLINE   cms206

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 07:57 AM

GR8 4 DRFTIN. - Rear-wheel-drive. Often vehicle will not have sufficient dynamic ability or power to break traction, e.g. Marina 1.3
(see also GR0-GR7, GR9+)

Poggleswade - where the late Pog lived

Sid & Doris - The Autoshite generic term for couples of a certain age.

Wakefield - minicabbing centre of the universe

'87 Volvo 740 Turbo - GRASSY

'88 Volvo 740GLE - COUNCIL ESTATE INNIT

'89 Austin Montego 2.0EFi Mayfair - BAGGY HEADCLOTH

'96 Volvo 850 S 2.5-10v - ROTTEN
'96 Volvo 850TDi GLT - ROTTEN

'99 Kia Pride 1.3SX - DECAYING


#65 ONLINE   John F

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 01:17 PM

Citroen Xsara Picasso - goppingly awful bloated bastard carrier, driven by grunting mongs and their enormous scowling wives to transport their revolting sticky children from one McDonald's to the next. Or a baked potato-shaped MPV for the masses, if you're being charitable.


  • garethj, Vince70 and Laseraligningfoofooflanges like this

Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#66 ONLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 13 June 2013 - 08:37 PM

Want Level - sometimes approached and occasionally exceeded.  Reflective of the desirability to the Autoshite community only.



#67 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 05:16 AM

OMG RWD DRFT WEPN  -  MX 5


1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint 1979 Lancia Beta 1600 Coupe (work in progress) 1980 Yamaha RD125 DX1981 Austin-Morris Sherpa 2.0 Autosleeper1982 Moto Morini 350 Strada1983 Rover SD1 2600 SE1992 Jaguar XJS 4.0 (work not in progress)1994 UMM 4x4 Alter II - Phase 3 - 2.5D<p>1998 Honda CG125 CDI

#68 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 06:09 AM

GR8 4 DRFTIN. - Rear-wheel-drive. Often vehicle will not have sufficient dynamic ability or power to break traction, e.g. Marina 1.3
(see also GR0-GR7, GR9+)

 

 

It's very easy to get a 1.3 Marina sideways, especially if you put a Vauxhall Viva engine in the boot without any restraint.


  • DSdriver likes this

#69 OFFLINE   CreepingJesus

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 07:53 AM

The Redtop Brigade - Vauxhall enthusiasts of a certain ilk, who seem determined to put every 'redtop' XE ever made into every small FWD Vauxhall ever made. Statistically impossible, unless they've got the engines on timeshare.

...as the actress said to the bishop.

 

Truck magazine scans!

 

Some short stories of mine...


#70 OFFLINE   cort16

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    3.5 tonnes maximum

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 09:32 AM

Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.


  • flat4alfa and Laseraligningfoofooflanges like this

I estimate this car needs £3000 maybe £4000 spending on it to get it rite and when this is done it will be wotrth about £1500!!


#71 OFFLINE   tooSavvy

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    tooSerious x far..!

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 06:19 PM

Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.

 

F*CK!... read 'Renault' then..........?

 

tooSavvy


Wallsend?.....it's not the End of the Walled ;<)

35942490325_0815d58667.jpgSUCKS


#72 OFFLINE   Junkman

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    Totally and properly Renault R16!

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Posted 15 June 2013 - 10:00 PM

Craptical Plastics - A print magazine about rust that strangely generates enough rhino to enable its staff to litter the vast driveways of their posh homes with an astonishing array of shite and shit.
  • Twiggy and Lord Sterling like this

1967 Renault 16 GL.....................................now with new exhaust that doesn't work

1979 Mobylette AV89.........................................................................running

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate..............................now with aircon and brakes


#73 OFFLINE   Albert Ross

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    DRINK!

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 11:05 AM

Photography skillz. Pictures of tat must include garage doors and time stamps, feet, and importantly, miss the odd part of the car off.


  • Twiggy likes this
Stormy Petrel on a stick!!

#74 OFFLINE   Albert Ross

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 11:09 AM

Shadow puppets. Related to photography skills. Points awarded for the best shadow/reflection on an eBay advert, where the photographer appears to be strangling a mutated Manx cat above their head, or is indeed naked. Etc. funny-ebay-advertisement-stupid-naked-pe


Stormy Petrel on a stick!!

#75 OFFLINE   greengartside

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 12:45 PM

We've forgotten the obligatory !!!!11111!!!1!1!1 at the end of any purchase/moment of euphoria.

 

Often refers to human uber-excitement or a sticking 'Shift' key on a keyboard.


2006 Vauxhall Astra 1.9 CDTi SRi XP - Rocket Machine.

 

'George Michael looking lovingly at a giant glass arse plug'  

 


#76 ONLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 20 June 2013 - 03:36 PM

Pineapple - roofrack ornament for any modified VAG vehicle.



#77 OFFLINE   trigger

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Posted 21 June 2013 - 06:08 PM

 

D701 SWL - the registration of a Land Rover b[r]ought illegally by an internet fraudster scamming the shit off M_Bolleux's credit card.

 

2rp61io.jpg


  • Albert Ross, meggersdog and Wilko220 like this

1984 Morris Ital 575 Van

1977 Morris Marina 2 1.3 Deluxe Estate

1983 Rover 2600SE SD1

2006 Ford Focus 1.6 Zetec 115


#78 OFFLINE   Junkman

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    Totally and properly Renault R16!

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Posted 26 June 2013 - 11:34 PM

MOAR - Expression of complaint that the just absorbed dose of Autoshite was too small to overcome one's shite withdrawal symptoms.

PHWOAR - Expression of appreciation that the just absorbed dose of Autoshite was not too small to overcome one's shite withdrawal symptoms.


  • chaseracer and CreepingJesus like this

1967 Renault 16 GL.....................................now with new exhaust that doesn't work

1979 Mobylette AV89.........................................................................running

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate..............................now with aircon and brakes


#79 OFFLINE   Junkman

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    Totally and properly Renault R16!

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 04:17 PM

Motion Lotion - Propellant used in internal combustion engines. Also see Go-Go Juice.


1967 Renault 16 GL.....................................now with new exhaust that doesn't work

1979 Mobylette AV89.........................................................................running

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate..............................now with aircon and brakes


#80 ONLINE   John F

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 04:53 PM

^ Are you serious?

I've certainly never seen anyone referring to pez (q.v.) or diseasel (q.v.) in such an embarrassingly transatlantic manner on autoshite.


Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#81 OFFLINE   Junkman

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    Totally and properly Renault R16!

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 04:58 PM

Motion Lotion and Go-Go Juice - embarrassingly transatlantic referrals to pez (q.v.) or diseasel (q.v.), thus not used on Autoshite.


  • chaseracer, flat4alfa and DeeJay like this

1967 Renault 16 GL.....................................now with new exhaust that doesn't work

1979 Mobylette AV89.........................................................................running

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate..............................now with aircon and brakes


#82 ONLINE   John F

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 05:46 PM

That's better :smile:


Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#83 OFFLINE   ypsilandra

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 06:54 PM

"Made of unobtanium" - parts that you won't find anywhere other than a scappies yard or a "specialist' breaker. Most often refers to that bit of trim that was uniquely fitted to your car for one week only during August in 1984. Likely to be a badge, 80's stylee stripe or bit of dash furniture. In more modern motors refers to anything that you can only buy from a franchised main dealer at extortionate prices, like parts for smarts  :mad: or electronic thingumajigs



#84 OFFLINE   ypsilandra

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 06:55 PM

Have we had Barn Find yet?



#85 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 06:58 PM

Barn Find, as in "A car on ebay that hasn't been driven for over 4 hours and was washed a week or more ago, yet has no keys or documents. Price will be correspondingly higher than the other 3000 examples available"



#86 OFFLINE   Junkman

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    Totally and properly Renault R16!

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Posted 01 July 2013 - 07:39 PM

Owned by mechnic - Mechanically severely neglected car due to can't be arsedness to turn a bolt after tinkering all day at work with customers' chod. Usually the rear seat and carpet are soaked with oil from carrying around engine and gearbox spares, and the steering wheel and driver's door pull are covered with a black crust.


  • Twiggy, Vince70 and Laseraligningfoofooflanges like this

1967 Renault 16 GL.....................................now with new exhaust that doesn't work

1979 Mobylette AV89.........................................................................running

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate..............................now with aircon and brakes


#87 ONLINE   John F

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 12:09 AM

Hm. It's starting to sound like an ebay terminology guide.

 

Could we keep it to genuine autoshite language? That'd be more help to newcomers (assuming they bother to read this thread, which they probably won't).


  • FakeConcern likes this

Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#88 ONLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 12:45 AM

Rammel - see Chod



#89 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 05:17 AM

'Buy it, they're great cars, I would if I had the money etc': Translates to: I wouldn't touch one with a fifty foot disinfected barge pole, but it's not my money and I'll laugh when I read your thread about it going wrong in style.

 

What's the worse than can happen? Everything!


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#90 OFFLINE   Mr Lobster

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Posted 02 July 2013 - 07:18 AM

Arnold Clark - Purveyor of quality* motor vehicles with great* customer service*.   Frequently a source of long and winding threads usually descending into arguments.

 

See also - Chiselling Scottish Shyster.


Model of your shite, sir?

 

LobsterFleet -

 

'17 Dacia Logan

'15 Dacia Sandero

'01 Mazda 323F

'85 Renault 4 F6





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