OMG SNOW CHAOS rumour

[scaryoldcortina]

This is my new status-

 

I heard that Birmingham council had to ship in Halal Salt from Israel so not to cause offence when gritting Muslim areas of the city. This costs an extra £75 per metric acre! For god sake get out of England if you don't like it!

 

the evidence so far suggests that my Facebook friends are idiots. One of my mates questioned if it was true, but I informed him that it is in tommorrows Guardian. He's now questioning what's wrong with this country

 

"Metric Acre"? Genius!!!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

And Halal salt from Israel.

[CreepingJesus]

I've heard the politically correct bleeding heart liberal mafia brigade are going to substitute our Christian British snow on British roads for Muslim grit and sand to make Them feel at home.

 

A neighbour of mine's just told me that he has 'acquired' a dozen 50kg bags of halal/kosher salt (?), from an abandoned warehouse behind his work. Enough salt to coat all of the street, and all our paths. And the work's gate is locked 'til Monday. Typical - you nick stuff wot won't offend anyone, and God throws down enough of the white stuff to stop it being got to! Gah...wotevah next?

[Angrydicky]

That's when the 'block all posts by....' function comes into play

 

 

Or the "Remove from friends" button...

 

If anyone on my friends seems to be a dirty racist or homophobic cunt they get a big fat delete, although to be fair these days there's so much fucking bollocks on my wall I don't notice so much as I don't bother sifting through pages of drivel to find the odd interesting post (usually from shiters)

[Alexg]

My favourate response so far is

 

in other words... FUCK OFF you foren cunts

 

 

Ive just added this to spice it up...

 

Apparently the only difference is that it's dyed green and blessed by some bloke closely related to BinLaden!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Some quite depressing updates if you search for 'muslims snow' on http://youropenbook.org

 

The lack of originality in status updates is pretty grim.

[barefoot]

you lot don't half chuckle me up

[CreepingJesus]

Some quite depressing updates if you search for 'muslims snow' on http://youropenbook.org

 

The lack of originality in status updates is pretty grim.

 

And therein lies one of the great demerits of 'freedom of expression'. And one of the good reasons why I don't 'do' Friendface.

[Tayne]

.

[Negative Creep]

Now why would anyone be dumb enough to make that ninja statement?

 

 

 

As if their husbands would have allowed them to leave the house alone

[retrogeezer]

Falling snow and rain is a bit different to blithely setting off from your house with a massive slab of snow on the roof.

 

 

Not really, if the offence is because the snow is 'blowing' onto the car behind then falling snow is no different - put your wipers on.

A 'slab' of snow as you put it would just slide straight to the floor due to the weight of it and not into the car behind.

[CreepingJesus]

^It's considered a general hazard, much in the same way as an unsecured open load. In that, if a significant piece of it falls off, it could cause damage to a vehicle behind, or cause it to take avoiding action. Neither of which are acceptable (in fact, you can be failed on a driving test for the latter), and will earn you a telling off from the traffs at least.

Given that you're driving along with the heater on full, demisting your windows, and toasting your tootsies (well, I am... ), it's hard to predict how much of it will break loose, and when, once the roof panel starts to warm up.

[barrett]

What's the problem anyway, how long can it take to run your arm over the roof on each side before you do ya windows? It just seems like less hassle potentially o just sort it out anyway

[retrogeezer]

I'm not saying I would drive off with 2 feet off snow on my roof....I just think it's a bit OTT that a naturally occuring event means the police 'could' fine you.

 

What next, fine shop owners for leaving snow on their roofs in case it falls on to the pavement?? Owners of trees that overhang the road just in case some snow falls off? Using your windscreen washers when other motorists are behind you?

 

Jeez, they don't do anything about the plebs riding bikes with no lights, car drivers with fog lights on and no fog, middle lane hoggers etc etc.

[michael1703]

true or not, if enough plebs beleive it, the scare might actually get people to clear there roofs and windows properly

 

thats surely a good thing?

[retrogeezer]

Sure, like I said - I wouldn't drive my car with it covered in snow but lets face it, if you need to take avoiding action because a piece of snow fell off the car in front then you were following too closely in the first place.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

What if the snow goes the other way and falls on your windscreen?

[wuvvum]

I read in a car mag a few years back that technically you can be "done" for not displaying a tax disc if your car's windscreen is covered in snow. I've also heard [rumours] of people in pay & display car parks getting parking tickets because snow has covered their windscreen so the traffic warden can't see if they've paid & displayed or not. Apparently it's legal for a traffic warden to clear snow off your screen so he can affix a parking ticket thereunto, but not so that he can see whether or not you've paid. As I said, this is all third hand info so could well be bollocks.

[Cavcraft]

What if the snow goes the other way and falls on your windscreen?

 

You're not driving quick enough and deserve 3 points.

[M'coli]

Sure, like I said - I wouldn't drive my car with it covered in snow but lets face it, if you need to take avoiding action because a piece of snow fell off the car in front then you were following too closely in the first place.

[devil's advocate]What if the car it fell off of is going the other way?[/devil's advocate]

[retrogeezer]

what if, what if, what if.....

[cobblers]

The dozy, but attractive woman across the road has just set off with the entire car apart from the windscreen and drivers door covered in 18" of snow. She cleared two "tyre tracks" out of her drive to get out, which started the same width as the track of her rover 200, but tapered out to about 10 feet apart as they got closer to the road. Unsurprisingly, she got stuck a few times, despite only having to move about a meter. Stupid (fit) cow.

[richardthestag]

what if, what if, what if.....

 

If the Queen had Bollocks she'd be the King

[autofive]

what if, what if, what if.....

 

If the Queen had Bollocks she'd be the King

 

wasnt that the rumour about Edward's Mrs simpson?

[trigger]

My local rag is reporting on this now www.eveningstar.co.uk/news/weather_be_w ... s_1_745457

[Richard]

Not just cars.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-e ... e-11911326

[Cavcraft]

Not just cars.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-e ... e-11911326

 

T'riffic. Now you can risk life and limb to keep the ambulance chasers at bay. Just before you fall off the roof, hopefully onto a council official.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

The fire services clear icicles and roof snow cornices here.