Sunny Jim's Hearse: The Grim Sleeper - a perfect storm

[Sunny Jim]

Seeing as the hearse is being pressed back into use whilst I get the spring on the C15 sorted I decided I should address some of the bits that need sorting on it. It kept losing coolant but never overheating or leaving a puddle when parked at Twixfest which had me stumped. @Talbot spotted that the coolant level sensor had popped out of the bottom of the expansion tank which explained why the low level light was staying on even after I'd topped up the expansion tank. He pushed it back in and it seemed to locate with a reassuring click. However half an hour down the M6 on the way home once the system was fully up to temp and pressurised it popped out again. Being a fully unqualified bodgineer I artfully applied some cable ties to hold the level sensor in place.

That got me home but I'd only slowed the leak rather than completely curing it as the low coolant level light came on again on Monday morning. £30 got me a tested s/h tank and a new sensor so as it was still light when I got in this evening I decided to get at it.

Old one out with only a few drops of coolant spilt and new one in.

Fortunately there's no shortage of hills round here to aid the bleeding process.

Unfortunately whilst tightening the aux belt to stop it squeaking on start up I noticed that the air con idler pulley is goosed.

Genuine Jag part is £85! Thanks to a 16 year old post on the Jag Lovers forum I've sourced a Gates equivalent from eBay for £20 - hope that's not a false economy.

[Sunny Jim]

New floor mats have arrived from China. Wangjianxiangg Corp make a quality mat.

Almost* could be OEM accessories.

[Matty]

18 minutes ago, Sunny Jim said:

New floor mats have arrived from China. Wangjianxiangg Corp make a quality mat.

Almost* could be OEM accessories.

That's bloody ace 👌 

[Sunny Jim]

10 minutes ago, Matty said:

That's bloody ace 👌 

Cheers pal, I'm really enjoying having a daft project to work on. I'm still commuting in it and there's an infants school near work so there's kids and parents walking in each morning who wave as I go past. It makes me smile and without wanting to sound too corny I'm glad it makes other people smile too.

[Sunny Jim]

This weekend was a perfect storm of the results of Jaguar engineers' questionable decisions, coachbuilders' corner cutting, lack of maintenance and of course my own incompetence.

Saturday afternoon I decided to remove the lower deck to see what was lurking underneath. When I got the hearse the window in the rear hatch was leaking through the seal. I cured it with some tiger seal but enough water had got in to rust the fixings holding down the lower deck which is made from MDF that had swollen in the damp. The deck is screwed down to a steel box section frame. Cue loads of screws that snapped as soon as I attempted to undo them.

Centre rearmost piece was the most awkward as it had copped most of the water ingress. It gradually got easier until I was left with this.

Finds discovered under the decking included more memorial cards, a Jeff Banks gents watch (was the deceased supposed to be buried wearing it?) and most of a set of spanners.

Next up was removal of the secondary heater for demisting the rear windows. This was fed off a long loop of heater hose off the engine cooling system and I suspected was part of the reason bleeding was such an embuggeration.

The hoses went through holes in the floor and were then routed under the car before emerging in the engine bay.

The join to the original cooling system was done by means of some 15mm copper pipe and jubilee clips.

Cunning use of soldered slip couplers to provide something for the jubilee clips to grip to.

As I working in the shed at work and didn't want to dump coolant over the floor I used some other offcuts of pipe with the ends hammered flat as end caps.

A bit of jiggery-pokery and finally it was out. Is it off use to anyone as I don't want it? Was working when removed.

By this stage it was about 5pm and I'd been making reasonable progress. All* I had to do was join the two ends of heater hose to reinstate the cooling system and I'd be on my way. Before I set about doing that I thought I might as well replace the rusty jubilee clip securing the heater hose to the pipe on the end of the engine block. Got that done and started her up and on checking underneath could see coolant leaking from the rear of the engine. Tightening the jubilee clips did nothing to slow it. Arses! Careful examination revealed that the hose going onto the engine had a small split that was the cause of the leak so off it came.

No biggie I thought, I'll just* replace it with some of the hose off the supplementary heater I'd removed. Try as I might I just couldn't get the end of the hose over the pipe on the engine block as there's just no room to work.

One definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result. My temporary insanity ended when I realised it was cold and dark and I was hungry. I checked my watch and it had gone 9pm so I called it a day, nicked one of the vans from work and headed home.

Sunday morning I got back to it and realised there was no way I'd be able to reinstate the hose until I'd removed the wiper motor (bottom of the above pic) to allow more access. There's three 10mm bolts along the top which were a doddle to remove. Because there's no way to get a spanner or socket along the bottom Jaguar's solution* was three sliding clips. I read online accounts of owners in dry states in the US saying to just reach along the bottom of the motor housing and slide the three clips to their open positions. 29 UK winters meant although I could locate the clips they were all seized and wouldn't move. Oh, did I mention that although you can just see the left and right clips the centre one is entirely obscured from view? Removing the wiper also necessitated the removal of the plastic scuttle trim. N/S was a bit scuzzy 

unfortunately the O/S is superleggera 

Bugger, not an easy spot to repair. I'm always aware of nuns and kittens so tyres, brakes and anything that might prevent me hitting someone or something else has to be right. I'm more sanguine when it comes to my own welfare however. The Citroen C15 that I daily is hardly the sturdiest of vehicles. The trim will cover this for the impending MOT but I'm not sure I can stretch to paying to have a bonded windscreen removed for professional welding. I was thinking along the lines of metal plate with panel adhesive to repair this section. Am I foolhardy to be so blasé? A question for another day, back to the matter in hand.

I got the first clip to move by using a long screwdriver as a drift and twatting it with a hammer but that was out of the question for the other two due to their inaccessibility. After another period of temporary insanity I remembered that Halfords is open on a Sunday afternoon so I headed down there in search of some bent nose pliers which I thought might help. While perusing their fine array of hand tools I spotted these bad boys for only £3 for the set.

The one on the left with the curved hook was my impliment of choice and soon loosened another clip. The middle clip put up more of a fight but a combination of my new hook shaped friend, some mole grips and a more judicious blows with the hammer saw it finally succumb.

Wiper motor removed and I had my eyes on the prize. Try as I might I just couldn't get the 5/8" hose onto the pipe stub. I thought stretching it might help and looking round my eyes set upon the butt plug shaped silver pegs that were used to hold coffins in place. So I lubed up the coffin butt plug and with a bit of effort and a few twists shoved it up my pipe which I'd pre-warmed with a heat gun to make it more pliable.

Necessity being the mother of invention while adapting to survive, look at the shape of that. Perfect.

Except the fucker still wouldn't fit. In spite of it being the same ID as the OEM pipe the new stuff I had has thicker walls and wouldn't stretch. By this stage it was after 3pm and Halfords were shutting at 4pm so I dashed down there and got stung £20 for 1m of 3/4" hose and a couple of jubilee clips. I still had to employ the coffin butt plug, heat and lube but at last I got it done. Incidentally 3.50pm on a Sunday when the guy behind the till just wants to finish is a good time to get your trade card. Application done there and then with no proof of anything.

Next up reinstating the wiper motor. I'd wire brushed all the clips and greased them up but it was still a bit of a struggle to get them all to shut. Oh what fuckery cuntishness is this? It was only when I was replacing the plastic scuttle trim that I realised the bottom washer had fallen off the wiper motor while I had it out. It was impossible to reinstate it with the wiper motor in place so it had to come out again.

FML. This time I put cable ties on the sliding catches whilst it was out to make future removal and reinstallation easier.

At last I had everything buttoned up, tools put away and was ready to start the car, get it bled and head home. Turned the ignition key, dash lights came on as normal, and I could hear the fuel pump relay but not a peep from the starter, it didn't even click. Fuck, I just wanted to go home. Another hour was spent trying to trouble shoot googling things to try with increasing panic and desperation. Was it some kind of override that was preventing it starting? Park switch on the gearbox? Immobiliser? Bad earth? ECU fault?All these and more were attempted but to no avail.

I decided to go back over everything I'd touched and eventually found the plug on the end of the fuel rail out of sight that I hadn't plugged in properly. That done the car roared into life. 

Dear reader if you're exhausted after reading this far imagine how I was feeling. I'm please to report that all the hoses I'd dicked about with were leak free.

It was now the radiator's turn to leak because why wouldn't it be? There were a few times over the weekend when I asked myself if I was enjoying this hobby of mine. I then thought of my sister whose hobbies include running ultra marathons. These events often start and finish in the same location so she will quite literally spend a weekend running around in a circle.

I know the feeling but at least I've learnt some stuff along the way; about myself and about my hearse.

[320touring]

These old tubs are a joy* to work on. 13/10 for perseverance!

 

Could the aux heater not be used for warming the camper area? Or are you going to fit a diesel one in?

[tooSavvy]

@Sunny Jim.. hope you celebrated with *a bucket!

🚙💨

[comfortablynumb]

@Sunny Jim, you used to be able to get a welding 'putty' which was supposed to stop heat transfer, meant to be mostly reusable, you might be able to put it along the bottom of the screen and get at least a partly welded repair.

I know it won't be complete, but probably better than glueing something on?

Not sure how much it was, or even if it's still available, but I think frosts did it from memory 

[juular]

Amazing and humbling display of perseverance.

As for the scuttle, if you can cut it back to clean metal and treat and paint it, I can't see any major problem with using a small bit of steel and some panel adhesive.

For perspective a surprising amount of the back of my van is built using panel adhesive from the factory. A small section under the windscreen is neither here nor there.

As long as the rust is removed and the bare metal protected it'll be fine.

[Datsuncog]

Absolute top-drawer shiteworthy mechanicking there, fair play for persevering and getting it (more or less) sorted!

Hopefully the rad is repairable - I wonder if taking out the auxiliary heater in the back together with all its additional piping has raised the system pressure just a smidge, causing an existing weakness to develop into a full-on leak? Not fun, though probably a discovery you'd sooner make in the workshop than while stuck in motorway traffic...

Cheers for a great read!

[kevins]

try a bottle of K seal   I putone in range rover 4 years ago to get me home when the rad started dripping. haven't touched it since. 

as you suggest clean the scuttle back to  sound metal. epoxy prime then bond a new piece over the top pushing it up under the screen with something like tiger seal.

[Sunny Jim]

Found a motivational meme that summed up the weekend.

I won't be putting the auxiliary heater back in @320touring cos I'd have to run the engine for it to work and I'm already paying enough in fuel! It'll probably only be a fair weather camper in any case as I'll be trying to keep it off salty roads.

I think  you're right @Datsuncog. I've had similar with central heating systems in houses, you fix one leak only for another one to spring up, it just a question of chasing them down/tenacity/sheer bloody stubborness. 

Thanks @kevins, I know some people get good results with K-seal but X300s are notorious for clogging heater matrixes so I'd prefer not to risk it. If I find the leak milliput would hopefully plug it.

I was thinking along similar lines as to what you and @juular suggested for the repair to the scuttle but as the plastic trim has to sit on top I'll patch it from underneath. Oversized patch with a bolt and plate washer through the middle so I can use a block of wood and a nut and washer to clamp it up into position whilst the adhesive cures. Fibreglass and filler over the top for an invisible* repair which will be hidden by the plastic trim so people won't be able to see where I got bored of sanding and thought fuck it, that'll do.

Having the shed at work to work in at weekends is a bonus, I'm not at the mercy of the weather and having to have the car out of the way by Monday morning is motivation to keep going and get it done.

 

[kevins]

I wouldn't use filler under there, it's unlikely you will be able to completely seal it with the screen in and it will absorb moisture and promote more rust., I'd  brush some sealer over it and leave it at that.

[Zelandeth]

I don't need the heat part of it, but the blower of that demister contraption looks like the type I'd been keeping half an eye out for for a while now (also for a demisting application).  If memory serves you're pretty much at the other end of the country though aren't you?  So we'd need to sort postage most likely assuming it's not going to be too much of a pain to package.

Cooling systems on those cars are an utter pain to work on at the best of times.  Not sure if by this year it still existed, but if there's a long straight piece of hose under the inlet manifold, change it now.  On two of a friend's XJs, it failed in a manner where the pipe basically just unzipped itself from end to end instantly and dumped the entire contents of the system in seconds.  First time he was 1/2 a mile from home.  Second was in the middle of nowhere in Aberdeenshire in January.  That was a long, cold wait for recovery!

Surprised how much open space there is under there.  I've only had a chance to look at one hearse up close that was in a scrappers, and that was entirely full of cross bracing under the platform.  That one though looks like you could remove it and actually have a good amount of usable space.  Not sure if that's your plan already - have fallen a bit behind in this thread so really need to go catch up.

[PhilA]

Nice work. 

 

I'm genuinely amused by the dío del muerte floor mats in a hearse...

[Sunny Jim]

Thanks for the tip on the unzipping hose @Zelandeth. Just went to check and when I saw this I got worried

it only goes 1/3 of the way under the inlet fanimold before going onto a solid pipe on my engine (AJ16) but still looks a bugger to get to. 

Hopefully the PTSD from last weekend will subside in time for me to replace those dodgy looking jubilee clips this weekend. I'm running practically neat water now but I really want to get this all sorted before pouring the required 10 litres of coolant in it.

The SJCBPHS (Sunny Jim Coffin Butt Plug Hose Stretcher) came in handy again setting this lot up at work today. Central heating system successfully flushed. Watching the black gunk washed out is strangely satisfying.

@Zelandeth the blower's yours. Will you want any of the outlet hose? It's similar to vacuum cleaner hose with the wire reinforcement - you can see where I cut it at the stubs at the top of the picture below 

There's T-pieces as well if they're of any use to you.

For now at least I want to keep the outlet vents as I'll probably keep a sill/shelf under the side windows as wide as the chrome strip and removing the vents would leave me with a hole that needed filling. They're obviously a perfect fit for the hose so if you think you might want them and my plans change I'll let you know.

If you let me know which bits you want I'll get them boxed up this weekend for collection on Monday. I usually use Parcelforce if that's ok, PM me your address please.

[Zelandeth]

27 minutes ago, Sunny Jim said:

@Zelandeth the blower's yours. Will you want any of the outlet hose? It's similar to vacuum cleaner hose with the wire reinforcement - you can see where I cut it at the stubs at the top of the picture below 

If you let me know which bits you want I'll get them boxed up this weekend for collection on Monday. I usually use Parcelforce if that's ok, PM me your address please.

Glad it looks like they've changed the design on the hoses then - I've had a look and the two cars involved were on a G and L plate respectively, so a bit older than yours.  You just never know with Jag how much they have or haven't changed from year to year...or what they found rolling around on the factory floor on a Friday afternoon as often seemed to be the case which doesn't match ANY of the manuals or parts lists,  just for fun.  Also "interesting" bits of engineering, like having a separate electric water pump entirely responsible for providing flow to the heater, and without which you will get absolutely zero heat in the car - I've said three times now that I'm never changing another one of those damned things.  Even worse on the V8 engined cars as it's basically jammed up against the nearside exhaust manifold so gets nicely cooked and is basically impossible to get to despite looking deceptively easy.  Just WHY Jaguar?  Why?

I won't need any of the bits aside from the blower itself - I'll be adapting it to hook up to a single duct that's in the neighbourhood of 2" (I can't remember exactly off the top of my head), so I'll be putting a new flange on there for the hose to attach to anyway most likely.  Will ping you a PM with my details.

[Datsuncog]

On 17/03/2025 at 22:20, Sunny Jim said:

I thought stretching it might help and looking round my eyes set upon the butt plug shaped silver pegs that were used to hold coffins in place. So I lubed up the coffin butt plug and with a bit of effort and a few twists shoved it up my pipe which I'd pre-warmed with a heat gun to make it more pliable.

[bezzabsa]

but does the watch work???????

or was it ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dead!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok coats on!!