collection mission to SPAIN!!!! COMPLETED IT M8

[Mr_Bo11ox]

1 hour ago, UltraWomble said:

In the boot of my first couple of cars I had one of these:

It was clearly shit and meant to ward off broken fan belts by witchcraft rather than actually be used - just a thought can you pick up one of these devices?

 

I had one of these things back in the day, even the 16-yr old me thought it looked like a load of hopeless thundershite. I’ll pop in one of my spare sets of 30 denier ‘Pretty Pollys’ as an emergency measure instead

 

[garethj]

I’m sure you’ll be fine at 55-60mph.  With old cars it’s the balance of engine noise and other rattles until there’s a harmonic.  I had an old MG where the sweet spot was 58mph.  You had to drive through the next lot of vibrations above 60 (where it felt like those old BMC films testing on Belgian pavé) until the next harmonic at 75 which was the limit of human endurance.

The car could go faster, but the driver couldn’t.

[JakeT]

This is my thread of the year, possibly decade. I can’t add anything else as everyone has said it all. My own record has been 750 miles from home to Toulouse once, but that was in a car with five gears. My in laws aren’t even in France anymore, so I can’t help you with anything from them, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just find the suitable shit euro pop on the radio, and have an excellent…

 

(sorry)

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Don't big it up too much!!!! You'll jinx it!!!! 

[wuvvum]

My old Escort van was a 4-speed with a 1.3 CVH and that wasn't geared much higher than the Simca - I drove that from Norwich to Grenoble with no problems (although I was a lot younger then).

On the subject of emergency fan belts, I have one of these:

It clips together in sections and is the same shape as a "normal" V belt.  It's made of some kind of hard foam rubber stuff and it does actually work - it successfully drove the water pump on my old diesel Range Rover for several weeks.  Obvs a bit late for this particular mission but might be worth bearing in mind for any future long-distance collections.

[lesapandre]

We sweat the big things but often for me it's been the small stuff that's tripped things up. All manageable:

Does it have a jack and decent wheelbrace and does the spare hold air?

Will the petrol filler cap open easily?

Will the wiper blades work properly and not disintigrate?

Does the ignition key fit without a struggle?

Have I got spare oil and water? Does it even have oil and water...or even enough petrol to get to a garage...last car I bought in France it had no diesel in it, was midnight and pitch dark. I got the owner to run me to a garage.

That's the sort of things that sometimes get overlooked in the hand over but are pretty fundamental but really minor fixes.

I've bought at least two cars where the keys would not fit the filler cap, one where the spare was flat, wiper blades can just end up smearing the screen in a monsoon etc. There's the owners 'knack' of getting the ignition key to turn etc.

But in this case the current owner sounds fine .

[Mr_Bo11ox]

all good tips that have the whiff of hard-won experience around them

[Talbot]

One thing that is a major bonus:  Despite sounding like a skeleton wanking in several biscuit tins, the simca slant engine is robust.  Very robust.  I've absolutely cooked several of these (in a Talbot Horizon) before now so bad the temperature needle was off-scale.  Fixing the issue, it then ran absolutely fine.  I expected the HG to be toast, but it was fine.  That was on the 1294 engine, so I would expect the 1118cc (which I assume this is) to be utterly solid.  They rarely go out of tune too badly, and they're very simple to work on.  As long as there's fluids where they are meant to be and the tyres are all in one piece, I suspect you've probably chosen an ideal car to do this in. (of the era, anyway)

One thing to look for though:  As it is in a warm climate, it probably has (or has had) plain water in it's cooling system rather than glycol.  This has a tendancy to limescale up bits of the cooling system and make them overheat.  (was why one of my Horizons ran at thermonuclear temperatures).  Easily fixed by running a dishwasher tablet in the cooling system for an hour or so, then dropping it out and rinsing through.  Handily, the water pump is right at the very bottom of the system on these, so you just fill from a hose, start the engine, let it burp and top up.  Do that twice for rinse-out, and the cooling system should be somewhat clearer.  If indeed it's an issue, which if the seller is driving 30 mins to come and get you, likely it isn't.

It looks like an absolutely epic journey.  The closest I've ever come to this was using the Portsmouth to Ouistriham overnight ferry, and then driving almost-non-stop 670 miles from Ouistriham to Barcelona.  That was in a 10-yr-old Discovery2 td5, and it was a lovely journey, if a little long.  Did the same again to come back 4 days later.

Leaving tomorrow?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

music to my ears, thanks for this

[barefoot]

SFQ, but if you set the tappets, and then reset them every 1,500 miles or whatever, do they quieten down and stay quiet? Chrysler Alpines etc weren't rattly when they were new were they?

[Talbot]

Yes, they were.  Often went rattly within about 20k miles from new.  The rattle isn't valve clearances, it's (IIRC) the followers.  They just rattle, and that's that!

I set the valve clearances about 27 times on the Horizons I had.  Still rattled.  Gave up and bought an XUD one.  That also rattled, but in a different way.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I have it in mind that they did some thing to late-model Alpines and then 309's that use the Simca engine, that finally silenced the clatter, does that sound right?

Would be great to upgrade the Simca with a later 309 lump - quiet tappets, 5-speed box, breakerless ignition and 200 extra cc's etc etc.

Lets just get it home first though eh.

[JakeT]

If anyone can’t contain their excitement and wishes to know how Autocar found the 1100 in 1974…
 

[Split_Pin]

Sorry I can't help with the practical side of things but I'll be tying a bit of string to my Majorette Simca 1100 TI diecast model and wearing it around my neck for the next few days, which might help. 

[tooSavvy]

Shirley Knott 2 melodramatic....

Bon Chance

*tad early mebbies 😉👍

🚙💨

[vulgalour]

6 hours ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

kinell, 4000rpm at 60mph

[Mr_Bo11ox]

[Dave_Q]

SHITS GETTING REAL YO

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Now I'm in the garage deciding what tools to pack. Vernier calipers? Schulz gun? Circular saw? Decisions decisions

[bigstraight6]

2 hours ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

I have it in mind that they did some thing to late-model Alpines and then 309's that use the Simca engine, that finally silenced the clatter, does that sound right?

Would be great to upgrade the Simca with a later 309 lump - quiet tappets, 5-speed box, breakerless ignition and 200 extra cc's etc etc.

Lets just get it home first though eh.

One of those Simca’s wouldn’t be the same without the rattling top end engine, my late Father had a brand new  Talbot Alpine in 1981 and I remember his disappointment of the engine noise compared to the MK1 Vauxhall Cavalier it replaced, but it proved to be a good car and gave trouble free service over many miles.

[lesapandre]

Stout hammer, mole grips and a hacksaw...

 

[Surface Rust]

Big boy pants and a lump hammer.

[egg]

2 hours ago, JakeT said:

If anyone can’t contain their excitement and wishes to know how Autocar found the 1100 in 1974…

I love how technical old car reviews are, no talk about Carplay connectivity, screen lag or scratchy plastics 'lower down'. Sigh.

Chodspeed again to Mr B.

[wuvvum]

2 hours ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

I have it in mind that they did some thing to late-model Alpines and then 309's that use the Simca engine, that finally silenced the clatter, does that sound right?

Yes, they redesigned the tappets for the last few years of production, on the larger versions of the engine at least.  My two C-plate Talbots were a lot quieter than earlier cars.

I wonder how difficult it'd be to fit the 1592cc engine and 5-speed 'box from a late Solara?  That'd make it a bit of a weapon - you could go out and wind up the boy racers in their Renault 12 Gordinis.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Whats the most common bolt size on one of these heaps? Bet it's like 11.3mm innit

[bezzabsa]

hammer - bigger hammer, roll of duct tape, can of wd-40 or 3 ...metal coat hanger ,  and possibly a rosary / and or crucifix 

[danthecapriman]

I remember my grandad’s Horizon used to rattle its tits off when running! Quite a distinct rattle!

It seemed to keep soldiering on though, even in the face of the unintended abuse it got from grandad and even more so, grandma… despite the fact she couldn’t drive😄    
She once opened the passenger door as grandad was reversing out of the driveway and the door caught the gatepost and bent it right back on itself! I think they just bent it back the right way and drove off like it didn’t happen after.

Good luck Bollox! I’m sure you’ll be fine.👍

[Fabergé Greggs]

Can you provide a link to a PayPal pool or something so I can buy you a coffee? 

[MrBig]

6 hours ago, camryv6 said:

Can you not go to Jock's garage from the discovery channel ?

Wow, I'd forgotten about that show! Unfortunately for the OP, his car is in Valencia and Jock is several hundred km in the wrong direction in Marbella.

Ironically about 15 minutes from where the Jeep Cherokee that I'm thinking about doing a similar mission to collect is based... if only I had the time and the spuds.

[wuvvum]

3 minutes ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

Whats the most common bolt size on one of these heaps? Bet it's like 11.3mm innit

It's a '70s French car, so probably whatever they had lying around at the time.