Shite at the movies

[Noel Tidybeard]

The Great Escape- a man gets shut in a TVR Chimera and can't remember which knob, button, switch or flap he neds to operate to open the doors

[Noel Tidybeard]

Cool Runnings- following the daily life of a Scotish Vovlo owner commuting with a broken heater valve

[Noel Tidybeard]

Fifty Shades of Grey- documentary about BMW/Aldi/Mercedes* new state of the art paint facility

 

The Matrix- the diary of a private hire driver in Bradford with a second hand Toyoyo

 

 

*delete as applicable

[Dobloseven]

One for any ARonliners perhaps. 

 

Lord of the Rings

 50s BMC supremo negotiates tough deal with piston supplier. 

Taxi Driver

Robert di Niro stops his Toyota hybrid in the middle of a suburban street, completely blocking it. Proceeds to incessantly sound his horn until his somewhat flustered fare emerges, and then has to go back and double check she's locked the front door. 

 

[mintwth]

300:

King Leonidas of Sparta and other bare chested shouty blokes travel to Thermopylae to fight the Persians. The only shite available for their journey is a Chrysler 300c. 

 

Star Trek Voyager:

Kathryn Janeway is the budget constrained captain of a star fleet crew who are travelling in a Chrysler Voyager. They are lost and must travel across unexplored regions to find their way back home. On their way, the crew encounters different species they must deal with and try to persuade them it's not a Galaxy

[horriblemercedes]

Maxi Driver - Robert De Niro is tormented by PTSD as he drives his Austin at night 

 

Pallas Buyers Club - a group is set up to smuggle rare parts for luxurious Citroens

[eddyramrod]

Galaxy Quest:  Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver and Alan Rickman scour space for a thinly-disguised VW.

[ETCHY]

Fiat Club. The first rule of Fiat club is don't tell anybody about.. Fiat Club..

[AndyW201]

The Wedding Singer,

A budget-conscious wedding car-hire firm makes a living from an old Arrow-series Gazelle sprayed white.

[MisterH]

Shaun of the Shed:

Shaun and his mates must navigate the streets of London, overrun with drunk fans after a football cup final. They must do this in the Rover 214i he won* in a bet down with the Pub landlord, a week out of MOT and an advisory sheet the length of his living room, how long can they last? how long will it be before the head gasket turns on them? Will they survive the ordeal and live to tell the tale of the amazing tractability and efficiency of the K-series? Or will they be enveloped by the fog of despair (and overheating)

[MisterH]

Lock, Stock and A ruined ignition Barrel

After a con gone wrong, Eddie must repay a huge gambling debt at short notice. Only being a small time criminal, and not knowing how to get a proper job, he resolves to raise £500,000 the only way he knows how: Nicking enough Mk2 Astras and Belmonts to make up the difference 

[MisterH]

The Born Identity.

Volvo Is determined to find out if the Dutch proposal for a wild coupe with Pop-Up lights is serious, or if they are at the receiving end of a very expensive Dutch practical joke. Matt Damon plays a young corporate agent who can't remember if the Citroen BX originally had a Volvo badge on it, or whether the Volvo 66 was actually a Volvo at all. He travels to Born and is exposed to avant-garde Dutch design and a few Dutch bongs, he decides to get in on the joke and manipulate the Volvo higher ups to put the 480 into production in its current form, ahead of the more conventional  saloon and hatch offerings in the line ups. And then in a killer move, gets them to sell it in Britain, knowing the build quality will not stand up to the UK's climate.

[MisterH]

The Avengers Are Unassembled.

A group of 5 workers at the Ryton Plant decide enough is enough and decide to carry on production when the rest of the factory is on strike. Knowing that without them, Britain will have to buy a Sideways-happy Marina or a Rust-Promoted Ford, the safety of potentially tens of families depend on them to assemble as many Avengers as possible in one Week. Facing the dangers of going it alone, they must band together for a common goal, to ensure at least the next 3 years of 1970s British family motoring is secure

[Missy Charm]

Prizzi's Honda: two skilled assassins, one male one female, are hired, independently, to kill each other.  Instead of that they reach an Accord and drive off into the sunset.  

[eddyramrod]

The Shining: Show judges have to wear their sunglasses when they come to my PA Cresta (lol, like that'll ever happen!).

[mintwth]

The Björn Ultimatum:

Björn (played by Matt Damon with an excellent* Swedish accent), still having memory problems and trying to discover his Swedish roots must make the most difficult chod choice of his life:

Saab or Volvo?

[mintwth]

Star Trek Discovery:

Michael Burnham and her companions in the Discovery explore the final frontier, meeting new lifeforms and going boldly where no JLR product has gone before; all while dealing with the inevitable reliability and rust issues

[mintwth]

The Bourne Legacy

A member of a black ops programme finds his wallet is on the line when he attempts to repair a Subaru Legacy

[Richard_FM]

The Night Of The Hunter: Robert Mitcham plays a killer lay preacher who often drives in the hours of darkness in his top of the range Hillman.

[Dobloseven]

The Dear Hunter

Three friends buy a Rootes classic from the 60s/70s before embarking on their military service. They completely disregard a classic car mag buyers guide, "We show you how to buy the best while prices are still low". Instead of "taking an Arrow to the heart", they end up with a money pit that "misses the target". 

A Fiat full of dollars

A moribund Italian car maker buys an even more moribund American car maker. 

[horriblemercedes]

What's Eating Gilbern Grape

Young man has a fat, lazy mum and a mentally disabled younger brother. Has affair in Gilbern Invader

 

Donnie Rascal

FBI agent has to go undercover wearing a nice coat and driving a Bedford Rascal

 

Carlton's Way

Man gets out of prison and decides to leave his life of crime behind him, but finds himself drawn back into stealing big Vauxhalls

 

Hocus Focus

Three dead witches are brought back to life. They pursue the children who resurrected them in a Ford hatchback

 

[AnnoyingPentium]

Rustless Natives:

A pair of young lads from Edinburgh hold up buses in a car that is not a Mk6 Escort.

[MisterH]

No Country For Old Tat:

A London Butcher Is Hunted by Sadiq Khan after he racks up £2 Million worth of ULEZ charges for driving his LDV Convoy around the capital

[JeeExEll]

Fawlty Towers.

A 1983 documentary detailing the hidden structural repairs necessary on a 9 year old Mk1 Escort's strut-tops.

[eddyramrod]

4 hours ago, JeeExEll said:

Fawlty Towers.

A 1983 documentary detailing the hidden structural repairs necessary on a 9 year old Mk1 Escort's strut-tops.

...And coming to the conclusion that the job isn't worth doing on a cheap old Escort.

[3VOM]

Metropolice

Fritz Lang's dystopian epic where all law enforcement personnel drive small BL hatchbacks.

[davocano]

3 hours ago, 3VOM said:

Metropolice

Fritz Lang's dystopian epic where all law enforcement personnel drive small BL hatchbacks.

Metro Polis

As above, set in Scotland

[Richard_FM]

The Little Rascals:  The cast of Our Gang get up to hijinx while driving small Bedford vans.

[Richard_FM]

Mercury Rising: Bruce Willis helps save an autistic boy by going on the run in his mid sized Ford group car.

[PhilA]

Start Wreck: The Search For Spark

A group of travelers occasionally throw themselves left and right against the door cards as they drive their schizophrenic friend about in an old prototype Volga (the 1701)  that's just failed it's MoT. Periodically it stalls out and the Scottish one who knows a bit about cars is forced to reset the points, change the condenser and hotwire the ignition switch to keep going.