Timewaster Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 1 hour ago, anonymous user said: Favourite for buggering up searches "Not, GTI, Sri, Turbo, Teasmade, etc" Why the fuck do people do that? "I really wanted a Cavalier SRi, but I think I will buy this 1.7D ex-taxi not Sri,Gsi,CD instead". Split_Pin, Datsuncog and Low Horatio gearbox 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bstardchild Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned Aircon just needs a regas - cos that's always the case twosmoke300, Split_Pin, St.Jude and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartacus Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 17 minutes ago, Bstardchild said: I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned Aircon just needs a regas - cos that's always the case Because it's true, don't be so cynical! š Twiggy, 95 quid Peugeot and Bstardchild 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerzy Woking Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 16 hours ago, Split_Pin said: "Bought it for my wife but she didn't like it" = I didn't check it over properly before I bought it and its fucked.Ā My (then) wife went to visit her mum for five weeks, three days after passing her test. When she was away, I bought her an MX5 Eunos, as she found my Saab 9000 too big. Fitted a new hood, new stereo, aircon recessed, and polished it toĀ perfection in the time she was away. When she got home, I showed her the car, and she said "I don't like it". Never even sat in it. Sold it andĀ just about broke even on the deal. Ā Ā spartacus and Split_Pin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 No pleasing some people! To be fair, unless its a black Bini, my wife would be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backache Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Surprised this hasn't been mentioned so far as it really gets up my nose, ' No knocks or bangs' . IĀ dont thinkĀ Ā that in 40 odd years of running heaps ive ever had a car with Bangs ! Swiftly move to the next ad. JeeExEll 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sham Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I read one once that said, 'only uses a litre of oil a month' To be fair, it was an Audi petrol, but still... Ā I've not had to add oil between changes to any car I've owned since 1996, and believe something needs fixing if you need do. Minor thing, a few drips? No problem. A little haze on WOT on an old heap? Sure. A litre a month? Sod off. Ā timolloyd and Shite Ron 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaughant Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Must admit back in my trading days I have used a number of the above descriptions to "lure" the punter in but bear in mind this was mostly back in the days of the free ads where you didn't get a picture and only 160 characters from memory.Ā Ones I'd never use are : - bodywork commensurate with age and mileage (fucked, but buffed just before you arrive)Ā - pulls like a train (clearly seller's 1st Tdi)Ā - part will only cost x to fix (week fucking fix it then)Ā Again a lot is put into perspective.Ā I could spend another Ā£100 sorting my zafira out to get an mot on it, few bits it wants, give it a good valet but what for? To get Ā£4-500, hassle of selling, dealing with timewasters when I can punch the front seat and scrap it for Ā£260!!! Obvs selling something worthwhile I find you have to prep it to a decent standard or you've got it for life.Ā Still maintain the game has changed dramatically. I've been trying to sell some 20" vw alloys.Ā Their ok, they need a paint but it depends what you want them for how far to go with it, a decent gloss black rattle can job would do them the world of good but perfection will need a decent refurb. I started rubbing them down them realised they weren't of any use to me so I'm selling in at a slight loss for advertised price of Ā£275. Some guy wanted chapter and verse on them the other day, pics of this, had they been filled, tyre depths. Sent them all to him "thanks I'll let you know", never seen again.Ā Another "Ā£150 2 nite M8".Ā Ā FFS.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timolloyd Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 15 hours ago, anonymous user said: And "fully loaded" on a base modelĀ but fitted with a Halfords stereo and shiny floormats Similarly, āMASSIVE SPECā on what is just a fairly standard 7 series, S Class or Range Rover. If it has a gun rack, champagne cooler and individual rear seats, then maybe. But usually this term is applied to cars with electric windows all round and aircon (which just needs a regas m8). Datsuncog and Dave_Q 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave_Q Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I think it was a boat rather than a car but I saw one the other day described as "potential project"Project = totally fucking fucked m8, big time, but if you dedicate your life to it for 5 years it may see the road againPotential project = literally beyond any salvation, even the scrap man will struggle to take it away as it will crumble to dust if you try to move it Datsuncog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warch Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 2 hours ago, Sham said: I read one once that said, 'only uses a litre of oil a month' To be fair, it was an Audi petrol, but still... Ā I've not had to add oil between changes to any car I've owned since 1996, and believe something needs fixing if you need do. Minor thing, a few drips? No problem. A little haze on WOT on an old heap? Sure. A litre a month? Sod off. Ā With Audis etc I think it was lost in the combustion process, my shite Golf diesel needed topping up between services because of this.Ā Low Horatio gearbox 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tadhg Tiogar Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 3 hours ago, Sham said: I read one once that said, 'only uses a litre of oil a month' To be fair, it was an Audi petrol, but still.... Ā Also rotary engines have to consume oil, so you're regularly topping up anyway.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solderblob Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 I spend a lot of time looking at American imports and I can't count the number of times I've been cockblocked with "car isn't UK registered but it's a simple process". If it's such a simple process then why haven't you done it? HMC, Datsuncog and Low Horatio gearbox 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerzy Woking Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 On 3/27/2021 at 9:21 AM, Sham said: I read one once that said, 'only uses a litre of oil a month' To be fair, it was an Audi petrol, but still... I've not had to add oil between changes to any car I've owned since 1996, and believe something needs fixing if you need do. Minor thing, a few drips? No problem. A little haze on WOT on an old heap? Sure. A litre a month? Sod off. We had a couple of BMW bikes (RS1150's) at work. Both used half a litre of oil every 400 to 500 miles. They even came with a sticker for the speedo saying "check oil level at refuel" or similar. Never ever any blue smoke evident from the exhausts though. At about 4000 miles they stopped using oil like someone had flipped a switch. Terrible bikes, oil consumption the least of their problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goosey Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Lovely Condition = bag of shit.Ā Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bitzer Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 "Formerly owned by a woman/doctor/lawyer/YOB 1945 person" So what? I know enough women, doctors, lawyers or YOB 1945 persons who are utter twats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 I know what is that all about, I know a few āprofessionalā people and they couldnāt give a rats arse about their car. Like automatically a doctor would always maintain his car to the guidance. Last doctor I saw weighed about 40 stone, hardly in a position to lecture people about looking after themselves.Ā 5 speed gearbox is another one. What kind of fucking 10 year old car is going to have a 4 speed gearbox (apart from an Insignia with the M32...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil1971 Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 Anything with @@LOOK@@ or similar in the title......no thanks Split_Pin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 bangernomics, LightBulbFun, Datsuncog and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunglebus Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 4 hours ago, neil1971 said: Anything with @@LOOK@@ or similar in the title......no thanks I was going to say that - l@@k and "rare". I'll be the judge of that thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St.Jude Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 On 3/30/2021 at 2:43 PM, Bitzer said: "Formerly owned by a woman/doctor/lawyer/YOB 1945 person" So what? I know enough women, doctors, lawyers or YOB 1945 persons who are utter twats. My wife is a woman and a lawyer, and she finds every fucking pot hole in the road. I wouldn't buy a car she's driven or owned. 13 hours ago, Split_Pin said: You forgot the "Price isn't Free, just don't know what it's worth but got an idea so no low offers". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 Bit of a nerd/MercedesĀ thing but āevery option ā is a pretty bold claim; expecailly if itās a merc. leads you to look atĀ the pics and if several bits are not there it just makes me think the seller isntĀ as knowledgable asĀ you might think/ or bullshits a bit. Ā Or a mixture of the two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 Thereās also a few slick/ cliche phrases that have been touchedĀ on that whiffs of trader a bit. Drives A1/Ā First to see will buy/ minter/ FMDSH/ clean car/ etcĀ Ā Ā Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 1 hour ago, HMC said: Bit of a nerd/MercedesĀ thing but āevery option ā is a pretty bold claim; expecailly if itās a merc. leads you to look atĀ the pics and if several bits are not there it just makes me think the seller isntĀ as knowledgable asĀ you might think/ or bullshits a bit. Ā Or a mixture of the two. With that in mind I would expect on viewing a W124 it had the 6.0 dropped in it and a full AMG Hammer widebody kit or a Lorinser, hide, pile carpets, a gun cabinet, a mini fridge in the back with crystal glasses, monogrammed luggage, mahogany inserts everywhere and split rim BBS wheels.Ā Not a fucking Grundig tape player and electric front windows.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artdjones Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 I've seen a number of ads where the seller mentions that the engine is badly broken then tells you that it's had a recent cambelt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 1 hour ago, HMC said: Thereās also a few slick/ cliche phrases that have been touchedĀ on that whiffs of trader a bit. Drives A1/Ā First to see will buy/ minter/ FMDSH/ clean car/ etcĀ Ā Ā Ā First to see will buy. The amount of times Iāve looked at a car and walked away because it was absolute rubbish when it says this in the ad.Ā Drives A1. As it it will just about make it to the A1.Ā HMC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 2 minutes ago, artdjones said: I've seen a number of ads where the seller mentions that the engine is badly broken then tells you that it's had a recent cambelt. Engine seized, not had time to sort it out... me neither.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 Also āplease read the adā like some GCSE comprehension exercise a massive issue the car has is buried in an otherwise glowingly positive advert, in paragraph 4 section 3. Here we find that the engine is missing or in pieces or in a mates garage in Derby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 Similar- 11 of the 12 photos are of the car 2 years ago looking reasonably together and tidy. Photo 12 shows itās current state, stripped to a shell with angle grinded bits missingĀ or having bounced into a field on its roof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJK 24 Posted May 15 Share Posted May 15 āNever driven in the rainā Quite possible on a 9 month old, 600 mile Ferrari. Ā Complete unverifiable bullshit on a 17 year old Ford / VW with 9 previous keepers. āļø FakeConcern 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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