The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

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[cort16]

Top Tip.

When you're driving your new car across country back roads at a fair speed DO NOT forget about those 4 bottles of Heineken you bought at lunchtime and put in the boot of the car as they will fizz up, pop, piss beer everywhere and make your nice new car smell like a fuggin wetherspoons carpet.

[wuvvum]

Was in Oxford last week and discovered that the entire section of the London Road between the top of Headington Hill and the Green Road roundabout has been made a 20 limit. That's about 3 miles of main road. Fucking stupid, and I don't think I saw anyone sticking to the limit. Mind you, there are some moronic 20mph limits in Norfolk too, including one in a village just north of Norwich - arrow-straight main road, nice wide pavements, but lined with posh houses so the residents obviously voted to reduce the limit to 20 so that mummy can easily back the Range Rover out in the morning to drive little Tarquin the 300 yards to school. I did once hit 110 through there at 3am one morning years ago - the only time I've ever managed to be 90mph over the limit.

 

This morning I actually passed two scamera vans going in the opposite direction on the way to work. Not as impressive as yesterday when I passed two Mitsubishi i's within about half a mile of each other - a gold one and a bright red one. I didn't see any of the vans parked up anywhere today, but then I tend to just roll along at the speed limit when I'm driving to and from work anyway as I'm usually pretty much on autopilot. Yesterday I did get overtaken by some twunt in a convertible DB9 who must have been doing at least 90 in a 50 zone. Did sound nice though...

[Guest]

A talivan popped up on Ashley Road the other month.

 

It was great, I slowed down to 20 mph and gave the guy the finger. Later I had my camera, and grabbed a couple of shots of it. This displeased the driver. I pointed out the massive irony in what he was saying, given the whole spurious purpose of the van, and that he could fuck off what him being on a public road and him causing an obstruction, etc, etc.

 

As I was walking away I hit him with my broadside, 'Yeah, fit van that. It would look better with a tax disc, though. Did you know my camera's 18 MP? I do love 18-200 mm lenses'.

 

The cunt.

[vulgalour]

eBay and Paypal are, I'm told, the same company now. They also have their own touring car team. They're making a lot of money. This is probably because they charge you when you list an item (if you're a business seller, at any rate), charge you when the item sells, and charge you again when the customer pays you. Three charges for one sale that usually seems to add up to around 20-30%. That's a pretty hefty chunk of your income for using their service and higher than most real-world auction houses.

 

Of course, I'm paying for the convenience, it's a massive marketplace, but I can't help feeling it stinks just a bit that so much of my meagre earnings get stolen from me.

 

On speed limits and cameras I must say I'm paranoid about them. I'm a new driver, if I'm caught speeding suddenly I'm uninsurable and that 'speeding ticket' could very easily happen on a poorly signposted 20mph road. I don't mind sensible speed limits, and I'm no speed demon, but sometimes I worry about how poor the notification is in some places, especially on roads that have the appearance of being a 70mph dual carriageway and turn out to be a 50mph dual carriageway instead. Not a grump, so much as a driving fear, I can't afford for my insurance to go any higher, it's too damned high as it is!

[MrDuke]

You could always invest in a SatNav that shows you all the limits/camera locations? No idea how reliable they are, mind.

 

EDIT: What am I saying? You drive a beige Princess, no? Forget a satnav, invest in a tartan travel rug, couple of seaside stickers, and a flat cap, and drive everywhere at 20mph regardless. Win.

[vulgalour]

Sometimes, I deliberately drive like that to annoy the 4x4 or Golf that's trying to climb in the boot, great fun because I'm usually wide enough to be just too much in their way for them to overtake on some of the roads around here.

[eddyramrod]

Mrs R likes her footy. OK, I knew that when I married her, no problem. She's a Liverpool fan. Ditto, really. Today there's some big game on, and Liverpool are playing the neighbours (Everton). I've just spent two fucking hours trying to get the game for her. The sports channels on our TV won't stay on (a second or two of play, possibly long enough to see which teams are involved, followed by several seconds of digital shuffling from set-top-box to TV, and back; most infuriating) so I tried the computers. She'd be happy enough with Radio 5 Live commentary. Desktop keeps dropping connection (it's in another room and linked wirelessly) which it does all the time anyway. Laptop (which I'm on now) won't run live commentary as it doesn't have enough memory. So now she's grumpy because she's a) depressed, in pain and c) hasn't even got the match, and I'm grumpy because I can't provide it. I'm the husband, this is stuff I'm supposed to do.

 

Also, it's Greek Orthodox Easter this weekend, which means there will be a huge bonfire on the building site across the road accompanied by incessant fireworks, all of which are volume-tuned with the specific intention of scaring the bejaysus out of my dog and cats... not to mention me and Mrs R. Oh yeah, and just up the road (a field and one house between us) is the biggest church in the village. Sleep? About 4am if we're lucky.

 

Never mind, Monday's my birthday...

[Louise2cv]

I have put some money on a horse (or few) for the first time of EVAH today. I'm just getting in here early for when I've lost my life savings*

[ashmicro]

If I was you Eddie, I'd have a massively loud birthday party on Monday, and you can annoy all those other cunts who are recovering from their own shenannigans.

[eddyramrod]

I'm not a loud-party kind of bloke, or I might! We'll most likely go out for fish'n'chips and eat them in the truck looking at the sea (there's a new takeaway to try, apparently).

[pompei]

Just keep off the beer batter!

[Cavcraft]

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[eddyramrod]

Cheers Billy, we'll give that a go in time for The Slaughter Of The Southern Softies...

 

Shit, see how easy it is to get dragged into all the hype? I not only hate football, I make opportunities to avoid it, but here I am, ribbing the opposition like a real fan. I must be ill.

[Cavcraft]

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[tonedepear]

^ + 100000

[Station]

I can't stomach the whole fake 'here we go here we go here we go' camaraderie bollocks that comes with football.

[freebird]

I can't stomach the whole fake 'here we go here we go here we go' camaraderie bollocks that comes with football.

Its not fake.

Ive got the Shirts, Tattoos and the calling to follow my club no matter what. Imagine being passionate about shite cars and times that passion by a million and you may understand, or not, what makes supporters so passionate about the game and, yes the camaraderie that goes with it. Its in the blood fella. You cant live with it sometimes but you can never live without it.

While Im here im getting more and more irate with fuckwitt adverts trying to suggest that the new Ford Galaxy/ NissanJuke/ Ford Nonentity /, is somehow some super douper piece of machinery designed around the driver/passengers, is a lifestyle choice and, worse, much, much worse, will offer a great involving driving experience.

Are they fucking joking or what?

Final rant. Why does somebody feel the need to spam e'bay with a selection of breakers all advertised at £150,000 and all in the wrong fugguin sections of the site? Piss off!!!!!!

[eddyramrod]

I can't stomach the whole fake 'here we go here we go here we go' camaraderie bollocks that comes with football.

Its not fake.

Ive got the Shirts, Tattoos and the calling to follow my club no matter what. Imagine being passionate about shite cars and times that passion by a million and you may understand, or not, what makes supporters so passionate about the game

 

I can imagine that. Multiply your passion by a million and you might begin to get the slightest clue how much it pisses me off. But I still married a fan; love truly is blind.

 

As for the idiots in the shirts, did I miss something on the news? [confused]

[Pete-M]

Fuck's sake lads. Is there any need for these comments? No. Get a grip.

[eddyramrod]

Aha, I see, ok thanks. FWIW I think they should play on the anniversary, if a match is scheduled. I can't imagine any genuine fan wanting a game stopped in his name; it's only football, isn't it?. Fatwah out on me then...

[Pete-M]

96 people died.

 

Still, because a curly headed southerner with a habit of slagging off Liverpool and Scousers says it's ok to play on the anniversary then that's that.

 

May as well buy the fucking S*n as well then. After all, long time ago. Deaths cease to matter when Alan Davies decides.

 

We'll cancel the remembrance at Anfield every year as well. May as well, there's an Arsenal fan who said it "Gets on his tits, that shit" and who thinks it's unfair to Chelsea that Liverpool won't play on April 15th and haven't done so for 20+ years.

[M'coli]

As I was walking away I hit him with my broadside, 'Yeah, fit van that. It would look better with a tax disc, though. Did you know my camera's 18 MP? I do love 18-200 mm lenses'.

 

The cunt.

The van will be classed as "crown" and thus not needing a tax disc. Next time, mention that it's a good thing that it's crown property or else the lack of a tax disc would be cause for you to grass them up - it'll rile them that little bit more.

[ashmicro]

Not sure about that. Depends on who is in charge of the vehicles I guess. All the police cars I drove (and Land Rovers) had tax discs, but the Army ones did not.

[ruffgeezer]

Some cunt hit and killed our cat Torti today, were it not for someone rescuing her body from the road and calling us, we wouldn't have found her until tomorrow morning.

 

[Pete-M]

There's people on this very forum who say similar things about people because they drive new Audis.

[Albert Ross]

Some cunt hit and killed our cat Torti today, were it not for someone rescuing her body from the road and calling us, we wouldn't have found her until tomorrow morning.

 

I really feel for you. Having lost 3 cats to theft/wandering off/stupid old bint poisoning a beautiful Tabby (but no evidence) in the last 2 years, I can feel what you are going through. We have 3 cats now, and the youngest (Tweedles) is cuddling me right now. Tears in my eyes.

[Negative Creep]

96 people died.

 

Still, because a curly headed southerner with a habit of slagging off Liverpool and Scousers says it's ok to play on the anniversary then that's that.

 

May as well buy the fucking S*n as well then. After all, long time ago. Deaths cease to matter when Alan Davies decides.

 

We'll cancel the remembrance at Anfield every year as well. May as well, there's an Arsenal fan who said it "Gets on his tits, that shit" and who thinks it's unfair to Chelsea that Liverpool won't play on April 15th and haven't done so for 20+ years.

 

 

Does there not come a time when you have to move on though? Man U play on the anniversary of the Munich tragedy, so would you still refuse to play in another 20 years? 50 years? 100 years?

[MrDuke]

Some cunt hit and killed our cat Torti today, were it not for someone rescuing her body from the road and calling us, we wouldn't have found her until tomorrow morning.

 

 

Feeling your pain there man. If it was a genuine accident the fuckers could at least have let you know?

[retrogeezer]

Yeh, sorry to hear about your cat RG, we lost our 19 year old in Nov last year and it still hurts...

 

It's possible the car owner might not have known, the amount of potholes in the roads these days little bumps go largely unnoticed.