The grumpy thread

[ashmicro]

  Lankytim said:

Bought 4x black plastic door guards (as seen on 80's cortinas) from ebay to go on the inlaws C2, as he keeps banging the door on walls e.t.c. They were cheap and arrived very quickly. Unfortunately they are unusable crap, the "rubber/plastic" used being of such an amazingly low quality that they just ping off the door 1 second after putting them on.

 

They don't make them like they used to!

 

 

Put them in hot water for a few minutes, and fit them before they cool down.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

  M said:

  eddyramrod said:

  M said:

Went for a job interview the other day, was told today that I didn't get it - arse.

 

At least they told you! 99.99% of employers don't have good enough manners to do that.

True, but I know (roughly) the size of the pool I was shortlisted for interview from, and I know I could do the job standing on my head - and I also know that I bombed the interview. I'll let Midge do the explaining, from the excellent "Rage in Eden" album:

"So well rehearsed our moves

Once so graceful turn against us"

 

I've failed to get the job in the last (insert large number) interviews. Having done marvellously well in some of them, too- to the point that there wasn't even any feedback on things I can improve on (despite the fact that the employers were willing to give feedback, it was along the lines "we thought you were fine, but we hired someone who had another 6 months' experience/was working at our main competitor/was not overqualified like you were!").

[Autoplas]

Thought for the day......

 

People who put the word WOW in an ebay listing title are absolute cnuts

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I Like 'WOW' and I also like 'L@@K', i alsways check out any item thats got that in the title, the more '@'s the longer I look at it.'L@@@@@@@@@@K!!!!' I would look at that for 10 mins.

[cort16]

I also find the word "BARGAIN" in an advert listing very rarely leads to a bargain.

 

L@@@K - 52 Laguna DCi Automatic Slightly Smokey £4000 - BARGAIN!

 

It's like films with a colon in the title.

 

Examples

 

Police Academy (funny)

 

Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (not funny)

 

Speed (there's a bomb on this bus duuude)

 

Speed 2: Cruise Control (Sandra Bullock on a cruise ship!)

[Cavcraft]

Fucking epic. Daughter's ran up a massive mobile bill (which isn't really her fault, T-Mobile cocked up) and we've gone overdrawn big time. Spent two hours in town, bank can't help and came back to a parking ticket on my car (my fault obv) then had a fifteen minute grilling from a slightly* annoyed missus on the phone.

[cobblers]

  Cavette said:

Fucking epic. Daughter's ran up a massive mobile bill (which isn't really her fault, T-Mobile cocked up) and we've gone overdrawn big time. Spent two hours in town, bank can't help and came back to a parking ticket on my car (my fault obv) then had a fifteen minute grilling from a slightly* annoyed missus on the phone.

 

 

Doh. Council ticket or private?

[Cavcraft]

Council (I assume) as was a traffic warden, I saw him as I approached the car but it was already ticketed. Didn't have a go at him or moan because he's only doing his job and it was my fault anyhow.

Oh, how my missus didn't laugh!

[cobblers]

Was it on private land? If so it'll say "Parking charge notice" and have some company name who you need to pay. This type you can just ignore completely (it's just a bluff). If you were on a public road then it'll say "Penalty charge notice" and probably have the name of the council on. No harm in sticking some sort of appeal in if you can be bothered, but it probably won't get you far.

[Cavcraft]

Cheers Cobblers, on a road I'm afraid with a one hour waiting limit.

[Guest]

If an ebay listing says RARE I always bid a huge amount because ebay is only used by honest people who wouldn't lie/chance their arm and hey it's an investment, Right?

[Guest]

Actually here's a pearl - laugh your cocks off at my expense.

 

Been hanging about a dating site, seems most full of fuktards/pissheads and those who it seems patently clear why they are single.

Anyhoooo, been chatting to this posh one in Sevenoaks, (don't you know), anyway she says she isn't doing anything Mon/Tues night just gone.

Yeah righto love. Thanks for that info on your social life.

So she says would you like to meet up Tuesday night, Valentines cos no-one should be on their own.

So in the true spirit of the thread I say "Why not, I got no problem sitting here on my own?"

Anyway I get talked into going out, couldn't really be arsed to be fair as likley a spaz and besides was going to work on my bikes.

So meet up, I drove there as why spend best part of £30 on taxis to meet a spaz and means can't drink if I drive so all win and besides easy escape with own motor.

Anyways, meet up, yeah she's alright, wants to go on a pub crawl....oh fuck off love it's Tuesday night if you just wanted a drinking partner..... anyways spend hour odd with her.

Fuck all that I don't drink much* as got no spleen and various other bits fooked from 70mph car/bike interface.

If you wanted a bunk up say so, I'm missing some quality time with my motorcycles!

Anyways get back to car to give her a lift home and got a £25 parking ticket and heard farkall from her since

 

Fucking joy.

 

*actually class my self as non drinker.

[Lord Sterling]

  a60rod said:

Rant about bloody women and dating etc...

 

And this is kind of why I enjoy being on my own if I think about it. Sadly, little bastard cupid keeps striking me wherever I seem to go. Since I started back at work in November I've been trying to chat this seriously cute Polish girl at my workplace. But as per fucking usual with me she has a boyfriend and of course, she is getting married to him soon. Why the bleeding hell am I always late to the party, this has pretty much happend to me continuously through my life

 

Not only that, but the little cute Polish thing wont even look at me let alone talk to me as she is rather embarrassed and shy because I like her, this also always happens and its doing my nut in.

 

I think I'll just stay alone.

 

Ebay - Yep, my package hasnt arrived, a few pissed off people have neg'd the seller so its probably safe to say he has no intentions of sending me the itmes I payed for. Brilliant.

[Guest]

Answer me this Lord S, what is this 'chemistry' these females speak of?

I just get an image of Professor Bunsen Burner!!

So you want to go for a few drinks and see if there's chemistry - sounds like a Chernobyl type screnario looming tweacle (in a Fwank Butcher tone)

 

Come to think of it I got suspended from school for an incident in chemistry.

i.e pulling the gas pipe off the bunsen burner and putting it in the sink through the two holes in the lid, leaving it there for 'a time' then lobbing a splint in. Fucking sub sonic boom or what!! Rattled the whole lab

[M'coli]

^^^Did you just pull the pipe off and stick it under the soapy water, or did you get the flame just right for maximum temperature, i.e. perfect balance of natural gas/air ( ) and then pop it under the water?

[Autoplas]

  a60rod said:

If an ebay listing says RARE I always bid a huge amount because ebay is only used by honest people who wouldn't lie/chance their arm and hey it's an investment, Right?

 

Thanks m8, forgot about this one

[Negative Creep]

Another one is if you're searching for, say, a Skyline. You then get the TOYOTA SUPRA NOT SKYLINE RX7 M3 MX5 GTR AMG. Thanks for that you fucking cretin. If i want a RX7 I'll look under Mazda

[RoadworkUK]

  Lord Sterling said:

 

I think I'll just stay alone.

 

 

Dude, you've got a fleet of '800s; you should be beating 'em off with a stick! Not only that, but you have a peerage! Talk about the privelaged few....

[TimothyClaypole]

  Lord Sterling said:

  a60rod said:

Rant about bloody women and dating etc...

 

And this is kind of why I enjoy being on my own if I think about it. Sadly, little bastard cupid keeps striking me wherever I seem to go. Since I started back at work in November I've been trying to chat this seriously cute Polish girl at my workplace. But as per fucking usual with me she has a boyfriend and of course, she is getting married to him soon. Why the bleeding hell am I always late to the party, this has pretty much happend to me continuously through my life

 

Not only that, but the little cute Polish thing wont even look at me let alone talk to me as she is rather embarrassed and shy because I like her, this also always happens and its doing my nut in.

 

I think I'll just stay alone.

 

Ebay - Yep, my package hasnt arrived, a few pissed off people have neg'd the seller so its probably safe to say he has no intentions of sending me the itmes I payed for. Brilliant.

 

Work is full of the very same.

 

You see the other half and think wtf.

 

For example:

 

One girl who I'd seen when I worked there before but never even said hello to decided that now I was back there she'd start with the odd hello and wave etc.

 

She came to our dept. the odd time and made a point to make sure I saw her.

 

Then the other week she was there talking to a workmate (female) and she told her that she should watch out as I was cheeky, the Polish girl said yes she'd noticed etc. and was all giddy.

 

Then a few days later she turned up with hair done, nails done etc. and made a point to come and stand at my desk while passing making small talk.

 

So later I emailed her and said I'd noticed her nails and she said "What about my earings too?" so I complimented her on those and her hair.

 

She said I'd made her day with a massive smilie face.

 

So I made her something last week and took it up to her dept. She said it was lovely and very nice and that she hadn't expected it but since then not a peep from her...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

find out where she lives and pitch a tent in her garden (her actual garden outside her house I mean, not her 'garden', thats for later.)

[cobblers]

Have you tried hammering a smaller Polak over it?

[TimothyClaypole]

I was more worried over the card I got from "Bartosz" myself.

[Alexg]

Well, what did you make her Tim?

[Cavcraft]

I heard it was an Autoshite Valentines card.

 

Roses are red, my Maestro is blue,

if you be my bonnet, I'll be your Stu.

[Timewaster]

My only advice would be.......

 

DON'T TAKE DATING ADVICE FROM SAD OLD MEN ON A CRAPPY CAR FORUM!!

 

Oh, hang on.......

 

Anyway, second guessing what women are thinking is pointless.

I had a mate who did reasonably well by just propositioning every bird he met. He pulled some pig ugly women and got slapped quite often.

My favorite line of his was "Nice shoes, fancy a fuck?!" It Worked!!!! (mind you, she was in a club, very pissed at 2am and a simple "Hello" would have probably done the job. But the fact remains..)

[maxpower]

  Alexg said:

Well, what did you make her Tim?

 

a nosebag

[TimothyClaypole]

A little box made from 1cm strips of pink craft paper woven into a basket weave.

 

Filled with rafia, a tiny Lindt chocolate rabbit, a craft foam yellow circle with a smilie drawn on it, and a little pink heart, plus three lines in Polish explaining

each one's reason - related to her and the email last week.

 

The female workmate is the one who pointed out that she was always looking at me and in her words "pushing her boobs out" etc etc.

 

 

It was an experiment as such, she knows the score now and I'll leave it at that, she knows where I am.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I think you've probably blown it with that present. Trying too hard!

 

Anyway make sure you tell her that you've been reporting in detail your efforts to woo her on an old car forum, i'm sure she'll be impressed by that, plus it makes for interesting***** reading for us lot

[RedSparrow]

It's like the problem pages from Razzle round here.

 

Seriously though, good luck to you mate. Polish birds are a lot of fun (and usually stunning) but tend to be higher on the loony scale than English ones in my (limited) experience.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I concur with Mr Sparrow- one of the highlights of my dating career has been a Sunday afternoon in Bradford with a stunning Polish girl who knew about a dozen words in English, which was very helpful as I happen to know half a dozen Polish words. Funnily enough, neither of us felt courageous enough to arrange a second date.