The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Get a bottom-rung office job and spend all day quietly doing your work, but occasionally make comments which give people an idea that you're not to be trifled with, know a bit too much about how you'd dispose of a body, casually mention nailbombing the management, escalate everything to a murder threat no matter how trivial, use the phrase "he's finished", etc.

 

I'm not going to the work Christmas party as they're rubbish - wish I'd figured this out years ago. You pay something like £15 to go to a rented-out room in a lousy local hotel and enjoy the same airline-quality turkey dinner you had the year before - no matter where I've been it's always the same turkey dinner - thin slices like you'd get on a sarnie, someone comes round with potatoes, pour your own gravy, etc. The starters are always a choice of melon, pate or something I've forgotten. The desserts are a choice of Christmas pudding, profiteroles, think the third one is cheesecake. Anyway, you tuck into your luxury-price Spar Ready Meal and watch a load of rotten colleagues who spend all year being miserable having an excuse to "act the goat" for one day whilst you stare into a £3.50 pint and a local DJ for Hire plays Come On Eileen from behind a Tandy traffic light.

 

You should try the 'posh' hotel version of that. Two sprouts, one piece of turkey hidden under one of the three peas they give you, two slices of gravy and some mashed up carrot.

This, it would appear, what 'high fliers' enjoy when they pay £60 a piece to eat in these sort of places.

 

Fuck the work's do, last one I went to my missus got pissed and annoyed some people which in hindsight was probably a good thing.

 

 

Negative Creep: don't worry about never having had any managerial/supervisor type roles: you can get on quite well in life without having to do this and quite often the moeny for these jobs is actually pretty shit compared to other types of work. I'm happy to stay on the bottom rung forever if needs be, as I'd prefer to be there then spend three years arselicking to people I don't like or working extra hours for fuck all.

[Richard]

They need to throw that cunt back down the mine again.

 

I take it this is a Chilean we are talking about?

 

Yes, a "singing" one.

[Richard]

Our Christmas "do" is ace. The two engineers from the Glasgow branch come through in the morning, all the engineers have a good moan in the cold workshop while everybody else has a meeting. Once the meeting is over we all sit together while the MD hands out bags containing cheap chocolate and cheap booze and then explains why we aren't getting a pay rise. At about 12 we all make our way to some local eatery and have a thoroughly adequate lunch. Then, and this is the best bit, everybody goes home about 1:30.

[warren t claim]

I think we need an Autoshite Xmas Do. Maybe a classy affair not unlike the Liverpool scrap metal xmas party. You know what I mean, cheap beer, blue comic and a dyke show.

[Station]

Getting outbid with a reserve on the final SECOND of an ebay auction!

[Lord Sterling]

Another job rejection. Now I'm back in the UK and need to find a decent job and career but this is where I'm coming up against a brick wall. Put simply, I have no idea what I want to do. I know you should have some sort of aim but I really don't as I'm not sure what I'd be good at. Was hoping to figure that out whilst abroad but no joy there.

 

The main thing is that I've just turned 28 so I'm now worried the chance of a career will pass me by and I'll end up stuck in minimum wage hell. I've done plenty of retail, delivery driver and office work but never got anywhere or had any managerial/supervisor role. I'm not "one of the lads" or very outgoing which I think explains the lack of progress to a certain extent. To get a good job I need experience that I don't have

 

Reading everything above, you sound almost exactly like me, are the same age and experiencing the same problems I'm having at the moment regarding employment, or lack of it.

 

It took me years to figure out what I wanted to do. I've now chosen something but I still question whether its worthwhile sometimes, though I've made my decision and am determined to get my qualification in the end.

 

In the meantime I'm looking for any type of work, though because my situation at home has somewhat changed slightly has restricted me from doing night work, which is my most preferred shift (Less people, no management) Thats not possible for e to get right now so I'll just chase anything available.

 

Just because you are told you are "too overqualified" it shouldnt mean you cant apply for the job.

 

I just started sending out CVs/applications to any jobs that might suit my past experiences, you have to tailor CVs these days for the job your applying for, this can be time-consuming but it in the end its worth it. I've had a few job interviews but often lose out to someone with more experience/higher education.

 

I'm now having to wait until January before I can try and get back to college as the course has slightly changed.

[Rusty Pelican]

There's a woman called Eileen in the office where I work. Lovely old girl, but a bit odd. She's 52, single, never had a boyfriend to anyone's knowledge (she's been in the job 35 years) and lives with her parents on the family farm. She also has more facial hair than I do, and she owns an F reg Fiesta which she bought new and which she only uses to drive into the village to do her shopping and to go and see her brother in the next town.

Your kidding me , We have one as well called Shirley only shes 53 ,the Fiesta is a P reg , lives with mummy and her brother and she shops at Tesco,s everyday and gets one days shopping , Her facial hair is now curly which makes me laugh . Never had a boyfriend either . Wierd theres two

[RedSparrow]

Surely an Autoshite Christmas do should be at a run-down Little Chef or similar?

[Albert Ross]

Why not use the beat up Sherpa van that goes round Nottingham, handing out soup to homeless people? After all, it would be free!

[MrDuke]

The last xmas do I attended was about 5 years ago. I turned up at the posh restaurant half-cut on Vodka, and wearing my favourite oil-stained and scuffed biker jacket. I insulted at least half a dozen colleagues and one of my managers during the meal, then accompanied them into town for a pub crawl, having first applied some eyeliner in the toilets (not the best idea in a small town in North Wales). I vaguely remember stumbling through at least a dozen pubs getting progressively more trollied and boisterous, before winding up in a spectacularly tacky nightclub, where I managed to smash some glasses, clear a large section of the dancefloor, and thoroughly piss off most of my companions. I was eventually kicked out, and remember nothing more until I woke up on my doorstep at 7:00 the next morning, with nothing at all in my pockets. I had to bang on my landlord's window next door to get a spare doorkey so that I could go to bed. The following Monday, no-one in the office spoke to me. At all. 2 people in particular wouldn't speak to me for over 3 months.

 

I've never attended another do since, mainly because I don't think it could ever live up to that one in quality and enjoyment, and I'd just feel horribly disappointed.

[mattblack]

In my 25-year working life I have never attended any form of works christmas 'do', nor will I, EVAH...

[retrogeezer]

I'm not going to the work Christmas party as they're rubbish - wish I'd figured this out years ago. You pay something like £15 to go to a rented-out room in a lousy local hotel and enjoy the same airline-quality turkey dinner you had the year before - no matter where I've been it's always the same turkey dinner - thin slices like you'd get on a sarnie, someone comes round with potatoes, pour your own gravy, etc. The starters are always a choice of melon, pate or something I've forgotten. The desserts are a choice of Christmas pudding, profiteroles, think the third one is cheesecake. Anyway, you tuck into your luxury-price Spar Ready Meal and watch a load of rotten colleagues who spend all year being miserable having an excuse to "act the goat" for one day whilst you stare into a £3.50 pint and a local DJ for Hire plays Come On Eileen from behind a Tandy traffic light.

 

Class!

[Inspector Morose]

It's all gone quiet on selling the Merc on the bay after a phone call that went something like:

"Is there a train station nearby?"

"About 25 minutes away, dont forget if your driving it, it has no MoT"

"Really?"

"Yes, it clearly said so in the ad"

"Oh, I just saw it and thought, I fancied that so I clicked the button. I'll give you another call tonight to arrange my mate to come and pick it up on his transporter"

 

Guess.

 

Plus Mrs Metrobi (oh yes, there is one person who thinks someone with a strange fascination with buses and other assorted shite is worth loving) an I have had a blazing row because I asked her whether she wanted a drink then made her one without getting one for myself. Apparently it's all my fault and I just have no considerations for her feelings. I think the decorators are due.

[pogweasel]

Automotive electricity.

I think that there is some sort of electrical curse afflicting me at the minute.

 

Attempts to change the Galaxy battery today were fruitless as the poxy little 13mm nut holding the battery clamp in place is stuck fast. And being a new-ish car I can't get access to clout it / heat it / cut it out without dismantling half the car.

Never fear, we still have the BMW.... Mrs_Pog comes home from shopping in it today, worried that she was running it low on fuel - I asked the symptoms- "Well, the lights went all dim, and the radio stopped, then it started losing power" says she.

FFS, a cast-iron guarantee of a fucked alternator then. So 2 cars now totally immobile, and places to go. ARGH.

[wuvvum]

See that just proves my point - two cars is nowhere near enough.

[nigel bickle]

Yup

[eddyramrod]

Automotive electricity.

I think that there is some sort of electrical curse afflicting me at the minute.

 

Attempts to change the Galaxy battery today were fruitless as the poxy little 13mm nut holding the battery clamp in place is stuck fast. And being a new-ish car I can't get access to clout it / heat it / cut it out without dismantling half the car.

Never fear, we still have the BMW.... Mrs_Pog comes home from shopping in it today, worried that she was running it low on fuel - I asked the symptoms- "Well, the lights went all dim, and the radio stopped, then it started losing power" says she.

FFS, a cast-iron guarantee of a fucked alternator then. So 2 cars now totally immobile, and places to go. ARGH.

 

You can bet that if you mooted the idea of getting a cheap shiter for exactly these occasions (which crop up all too frequently with modern cars, I've noticed) she would find 500 excellent reasons to veto the idea, and every one of them would make perfect sense; all in the time it takes you to say "but, love..."

 

Oh and Metrobi: you're the man, it's always your fault, get used to it! Be glad you're not a truck driver, also automatically guilty. And for a third load, try being a male married trucker raised as a Catholic!

[wuvvum]

Plus Mrs Metrobi (oh yes, there is one person who thinks someone with a strange fascination with buses and other assorted shite is worth loving) an I have had a blazing row because I asked her whether she wanted a drink then made her one without getting one for myself. Apparently it's all my fault and I just have no considerations for her feelings. I think the decorators are due.

See this kind of thing is why I R single.

[Guest]

Moral of the story: Never offer to help women.

[ChinaTom]

Simple DIY tasks are never bloody simple are they? Decided to replace the cooker hood bulb that was out. Simple. Decided to unscrew the good one and try it in the other socket to check the socket was OK (under all the grease). Unscrew, and snap. Glass comes away from the metal. No worries, I'll get two. Drive to B&Q and buy a twin pack. Get home and find one of them smashed. So I have still got one bulb in the cooker hood.

 

Never mind, a mega portion of banoffee pie will cheer me up, and I saw this in the carpark.

 

[RedSparrow]

Ugh. The government cutbacks have had an immediate effect on me. I have fuck all work - about 15 hours a week at the mo. Serves me right for working in the public sector. No teaching work either; not many foreign students around. The stuff I am selling to raise money to leave the country is now going on living expenses. And drinking heavily.

 

Still, it is all giving me more reasons to emmigrate.

[scaryoldcortina]

Grrrr. Some people!

I had a car to test this morning (xsara picasso). Didn't start off too well, 2 large dogs loose in the back of the car, the woman moaned about having to remove them before I was prepared to test. I dont care if he is "a big softy" ffs. Next, the state of the interior. Fur, smell, junk... what a pile of shite. Next (in the boot) I found one of the dogs had left a big softy for me to find.

 

Then I failed it (broken spring, play in TRE) and she shouted at me and said that I only failed it because of the dogs. err, no. I failed it because it's faulty. Strictly speaking, I could have refused to test it at all (due to the state of the interior - I brake roller tested with my head out of the window...) but no. Left her arguing with the boss and I am taking my lunchbreak at home today

[Inspector Morose]

It's all gone quiet on selling the Merc on the bay after a phone call that went something like:

"Is there a train station nearby?"

"About 25 minutes away, dont forget if your driving it, it has no MoT"

"Really?"

"Yes, it clearly said so in the ad"

"Oh, I just saw it and thought, I fancied that so I clicked the button. I'll give you another call tonight to arrange my mate to come and pick it up on his transporter"

 

Guess.

 

I take it all back! Turns out he and his wife have a Nigerian speciality cuisine company and they were in mid panic mode with an order for a business client! He just turned up and paid the cash without haggling and were well chuffed with his new project. His wife, well, wasn't so pleased! Plus I've got a free dinner as an apology for him not answering his calls earlier! Top man!

 

Mrs Metrobi is still a pain though.

[Guest]

Can't find my University folder.

 

BOLLOCKS.

[trigger]

Just watched that Coppers on Channel 4, that was a bit sobering at the end with the caravan crash

[Guest]

Turned room \ car upside down.

 

Cannot find Uni folder.

 

FUCK.

[autofive]

its snowing

[maxpower]

Get a bottom-rung office job and spend all day quietly doing your work, but occasionally make comments which give people an idea that you're not to be trifled with, know a bit too much about how you'd dispose of a body, casually mention nailbombing the management, escalate everything to a murder threat no matter how trivial, use the phrase "he's finished", etc.

 

I'm not going to the work Christmas party as they're rubbish - wish I'd figured this out years ago. You pay something like £15 to go to a rented-out room in a lousy local hotel and enjoy the same airline-quality turkey dinner you had the year before - no matter where I've been it's always the same turkey dinner - thin slices like you'd get on a sarnie, someone comes round with potatoes, pour your own gravy, etc. The starters are always a choice of melon, pate or something I've forgotten. The desserts are a choice of Christmas pudding, profiteroles, think the third one is cheesecake. Anyway, you tuck into your luxury-price Spar Ready Meal and watch a load of rotten colleagues who spend all year being miserable having an excuse to "act the goat" for one day whilst you stare into a £3.50 pint and a local DJ for Hire plays Come On Eileen from behind a Tandy traffic light.

 

hirst, have you ever thought of a career in the samaritans?

[Guest]

Get a bottom-rung office job and spend all day quietly doing your work, but occasionally make comments which give people an idea that you're not to be trifled with, know a bit too much about how you'd dispose of a body, casually mention nailbombing the management, escalate everything to a murder threat no matter how trivial, use the phrase "he's finished", etc.

 

I'm not going to the work Christmas party as they're rubbish - wish I'd figured this out years ago. You pay something like £15 to go to a rented-out room in a lousy local hotel and enjoy the same airline-quality turkey dinner you had the year before - no matter where I've been it's always the same turkey dinner - thin slices like you'd get on a sarnie, someone comes round with potatoes, pour your own gravy, etc. The starters are always a choice of melon, pate or something I've forgotten. The desserts are a choice of Christmas pudding, profiteroles, think the third one is cheesecake. Anyway, you tuck into your luxury-price Spar Ready Meal and watch a load of rotten colleagues who spend all year being miserable having an excuse to "act the goat" for one day whilst you stare into a £3.50 pint and a local DJ for Hire plays Come On Eileen from behind a Tandy traffic light.

 

hirst, have you ever thought of a career in the samaritans?

 

The last Christmas do I went on with work was fairly shit. Three of my colleagues decided to spend the night snorting coke.

However, singing Mack the Knife like a drunken bastard was quite fun, as was ordering a full tea service at 1.30 am when everyone else was still paggered.

 

Wouldn't do it again though. I had to talk to some of the management. Urrrgh.

[Station]

You notice all the fairly quiet, humourless people in the office party/xmas do (especially the men) turn into animals once they've had a few. A place I worked at had a few ex-police (retired) who were extremely sensible but turned into these savages about an hour into it. A do I went to once (in 1997) had a free bar and out of 300+ members of staff there (I can't fucking remember), I was most paralytic out of everyone. I got a photo of me with Jo Guest and had it signed to my girlfriend (who burnt it when I gave it to her), I cunningly hid all my booze in an F1 car (about 12 bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale) which was on display and accidentally knocked the lot over, I threw a bottle at Jay Kay of Jamiroquai, decided to spark up a big, phat joint at about 10 o'clock and offered a bottle of poppers round (I didn't even smoke pot), and then threw up in a taxi and then got chased by the police through Birkenhead on the way home. There was a food fight at the start of the night on our table, and the director of the company had a piece of roast beef land on his shoulder. There were two more free bar parties after that, and I decided not to go because of what I might do. Unacceptable behaviour!! No wonder most of our department were laid off about a year later!