The grumpy thread

[Kiltox]

Make sure the reception staff do it though - Guest Relations are weapons grade fuckwits.

[barefoot]

Bloody young woman across the road, early twenties, a bit Oriental, almond eyes, cracking tits, keeps trying to peep at my arse when I get undressed for bed. I have to make absolutely certain that my curtains are tightly drawn.

[DodgeRover]

Bloody young woman across the road, early twenties, a bit Oriental, almond eyes, cracking tits, keeps trying to peep at my arse when I get undressed for bed. I have to make absolutely certain that my curtains are tightly drawn.

Why? Just stand there bollock naked in a ski mask and wave at her one night to let her know what she is missing/ she has been spotted.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

 

Bloody young woman across the road, early twenties, a bit Oriental, almond eyes, cracking tits, keeps trying to peep at my arse when I get undressed for bed. I have to make absolutely certain that my curtains are tightly drawn.

Why? Just stand there bollock naked in a ski Hello Kitty mask and wave at her one night to let her know what she is missing/ she has been spotted.

 

FTFY

[DodgeRover]

Family, just family arghhhh

[Louise2cv]

Matt is making me take the kids swimming. URGH.

I hate swimming. Well. I like swimming I just hate the faff, the dirty changing rooms, the hair, the floaty things... ACK.

 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Matt is making me take the kids swimming. URGH.

 

I hate swimming. Well. I like swimming I just hate the faff, the dirty changing rooms, the hair, the floaty things... ACK.

 

 

 

 

Get in the sea.

 

...

 

I love sea swimming.  If there's nobody else around.  Lady Grumpius hates it though.

[Mally]

Wife discharged from Hospital yesterday, which is good.

However we were taken from the ward to the Discharge lounge, your tablets will come from the Pharmacy next door.

On arrival, discharge lounge is closed you will have to go back to ward 8.

Arrived back, no room here, phone calls were made.

Wait in ward 7, they have a waiting area, your tablets and discharge papers will arrive there from the Pharmacy.

Booked in Ward 7, name on the Discharge board, other names later followed.

Four hours later, all names still on the board, we asked, how much longer, as my wife was due for more Morphine.

Oh sorry they were sent to ward 8 ages ago, here you are.

You may think 4 hours is a long time before asking, but it took 4 hours last time at a different hospital, and then they missed some.

NHS is still brill though.

[Mally]

Get in the sea.

 

...

 

 

 

Bit cold in Wales though.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Bit cold in Wales though.

 

 

This is the second warmest time of the year for the sea!

 

https://www.seatemperature.org/europe/united-kingdom/

[Lacquer Peel]

Why? Just stand there bollock naked in a ski mask and wave at her one night to let her know what she is missing/ she has been spotted.

I've been binging on true crime podcasts and just listened to a series about the East Area Rapist. Ideal for being the EAR.

[barefoot]

Why? Just stand there bollock naked in a ski mask and wave at her one night to let her know what she is missing/ she has been spotted.

 

 

I can't, her father is my cousin, she's my sodding niece.

[anonymous user]

Why? Just stand there bollock naked in a ski mask and wave at her one night to let her know what she is missing/ she has been spotted.

Or just change your name to barearse

[Tadhg Tiogar]

I can't, her father is my cousin, she's my sodding niece.

Ah, you didn't reveal disclose this originally

[Eddie Honda]

I can't, her father is my cousin, she's my sodding niece.

 

Eh? If her father is your cousin, then she is your 1st cousin once removed. If she's your sodding niece, then her father would be your brother.

[barefoot]

Eh? If her father is your cousin, then she is your 1st cousin once removed. If she's your sodding niece, then her father would be your brother.

 

 

Her father's grandfather was my grandfather's brother - what the hell are they both?

 

And you're not helping with all the peeping, that I'd like to think is still going on.

[Eddie Honda]

Her father's grandfather was my grandfather's brother - what the hell are they both?

 

Her father grandfather was your great uncle.

Her father is your 1st cousin once removed.

She is your second cousin then.

 

 

Total stranger then (in the legal sense you are not prohibited to marry them) ...with cracking tits.

 

I'm still not helping with all the peeping...

[barefoot]

Thanks Eddie.

 

He's my second cousin & she is my second cousin, once removed.

 

Before this all gets out of hand.

I'm not a pervert, she doesn't really peep at my bum.

I'm just very conscious that I must draw the curtains.

In case either one of us gets an eyeful.

[Mally]

Just had a nuisance call from China.

Well she spoke a lot of Chinese very fast, so it was a nuisance call to me, whatever it was.

[DodgeRover]

I can't, her father is my cousin, she's my sodding niece.

[New POD]

Her father's grandfather was my grandfather's brother - what the hell are they both?

 

And you're not helping with all the peeping, that I'd like to think is still going on.

 

It's NOT incest with cousins, 2nd cousins, so I'm saying, keep it in the (Extended) Family.  She obvs fancies you. Do the decent thing. Assuming she's decent. 

[stonedagain]

Incest, a game for all the family!

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Dickheads that get on the train and spray deodorant... Fuck right off!

[AMC Rebel]

Dickheads that get on the train and spray deodorant... Fuck right off!

 

and dicks with extra strong perfume/aftershave/body spray - no fucking need.

[barefoot]

That's nothing compared to people who stop either just inside, or just outside a shop doorway.

[Mally]

I suffer badly from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, MCS.

Any perfume makes me very ill. 

They say it's not real.

It is if you are me.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

That's nothing compared to people who stop either just inside, or just outside a shop doorway.

 

 

There was a woman outside Morrisons yesterday, just stood outside the main door.  Waiting for someone.  I wanted to slap her to get out of the way.

 

Also at Morrisons were two ladies walking incredibly slowly out of the shop from the checkouts.  They bumped into a mate and started chatting, taking up the entire exit door completely oblivious to the fact that they were in everybody's way.  Lady Grumpius pushed past with a trolley.  One of them made a snarky comment about being pushed past, to which I replied that it wouldn't have been a problem if they'd just gotten out of the fucking way and had some awareness in the first place.

 

I hate people.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I suffer badly from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, MCS.

Any perfume makes me very ill. 

They say it's not real.

It is if you are me.

 

My boss has an allergic reaction to a number of sprays.  I have to tell people at work not to spray around in our department all the time...

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Just had a nuisance call from China.

Well she spoke a lot of Chinese very fast, so it was a nuisance call to me, whatever it was.

Ah, that must mean the Chinese are doing it cheaper than India....

[stonedagain]

Her sister is her mother,

Her uncle is her brother,

They're shagging one another,

The(insert name here) family!