The grumpy thread

[Kiltox]

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:51, tapir said:

get something with the right badge and a cheap private plate, no one will know.

It's a business expense!

A car is a terrible, terrible business expense for the average self employed one man band. Tax is a killer.

[Tamworthbay]

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:49, BorniteIdentity said:

This is precisely why my Dad (Estate Agent boo hiss) has an 8 year old Mazda 6. His car allowance allows him to have something new and ‘premium’ - but he doesn’t believe it does him any favours at all. So it’s smart, respectable, but not flash.

I’m probably over thinking this. I think the 190 is smart and conveys a decent enough message.

We have had a few quotes for a couple of new exterior doors recently. I can’t deny the car made a difference to how much I trusted them which is stupid. The guy who turned up with a big watch in an S5 instantly made me think he was overpaid for a double glazing salesman so would rip me off. First impressions do matter, good job I’m not in sales with my cars as they would think the company is going bust.

[Kiltox]

I must say I would buy double glazing from the guy in a Transit (unless it was a d’ya like dags? one) before a bloke in any car let alone a flash one.

[Floatylight]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:02, Tamworthbay said:

We have had a few quotes for a couple of new exterior doors recently. I can’t deny the car made a difference to how much I trusted them which is stupid. The guy who turned up with a big watch in an S5 instantly made me think he was overpaid for a double glazing salesman so would rip me off. First impressions do matter, good job I’m not in sales with my cars as they would think the company is going bust.

My Mum and Dad had a quote for double glazing in 1989/90 and the salesman turned up in a E plate Esprit in a gaudy turquoise colour, needless to say a sale was not achieved!

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[Split_Pin]

Several chunks of cement blew off my neighbours roof today and onto the bonnet of the 172. Cant see the damage yet because the bonnet was wet, hopefully it will buff out.

[tapir]

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:58, Kiltox said:

A car is a terrible, terrible business expense for the average self employed one man band. Tax is a killer.

 

I was thinking this kind of thing:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1975-JENSEN-INTERCEPTOR-3-MARK-3-AUTO-J-SERIES-CAR-NUMBER-1804/223048649455

[Guest Hooli]

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:49, BorniteIdentity said:

 

I’m probably over thinking this. I think the 190 is smart and conveys a decent enough message.

 

Makes sense to me, as long as you wash it often enough.

[Timewaster]

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:42, BorniteIdentity said:

front and centre with a huge customer, and dealing with their key team members. Just as I’d not turn up in shorts and t-shirt, it would probably be inappropriate to turn up in an old heap.

Drive crap car to within 5 minutes of your destination. Park.

Black cab to the venue.

 

Arrive in completely classless fashion.

[Kiltox]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:23, tapir said:

I was thinking this kind of thing:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1975-JENSEN-INTERCEPTOR-3-MARK-3-AUTO-J-SERIES-CAR-NUMBER-1804/223048649455

Not sure how benefit in kind works for such an old car.... but it does.

[anonymous user]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:26, Timewaster said:

Drive crap car to within 5 minutes of your destination. Park.

Black cab to the venue.

 

Arrive in completely classless fashion.

I used to do similar when I had the 928, park around the corner, or next street as generally I'd be meeting a disgruntled member of the public, who would not be pleased by a public servant turning up in a Porsche

[Dick Cheeseburger]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:26, Timewaster said:

Drive crap car to within 5 minutes of your destination. Park.

Black cab to the venue.

Arrive in completely classless fashion.

Where're Bez and his rogered FX4 when you need them? As classless as you're gonna get.

 

 

[MorrisItalSLX]

So, the mechanic called about the OMGHGF on the Jag.

 

It’s the block.

 

Cunt.

[Cavcraft]

If you're self employed, your money would be much better spent on going on the piss nearly every Saturday night. Borrow a Merc for your first day, then turn up in a 1981 Tagora. When they ask where your 'nice' car is, tell them you lost it in a raffle. If they don't understand, fuck* them**. 

 

*Not literally.

**Maybe literally.

[DodgeRover]

  On 20/09/2018 at 06:49, Cavcraft said:

Tell them you lost it in a raffle. If they don't understand, fuck* them**.

 

Tell them you lost it after a drinking game with CavCraft/ the England Rugby squad.

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:26, Timewaster said:

Drive crap car to within 5 minutes of your destination. Park.

Black cab to the venue.

 

Arrive in completely classless fashion.

 

 

Buy a black cab, arrive at destination, climb into back and exit. Shout back at cab telling the driver* to wait.

[BorniteIdentity]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:26, Timewaster said:

Drive crap car to within 5 minutes of your destination. Park.

Black cab to the venue.

 

Arrive in completely classless fashion.

Pretty sure the assumption will be that I'm serving a driving ban (!)

 

  On 20/09/2018 at 06:49, Cavcraft said:

If you're self employed, your money would be much better spent on going on the piss nearly every Saturday night. Borrow a Merc for your first day, then turn up in a 1981 Tagora. When they ask where your 'nice' car is, tell them you lost it in a raffle. If they don't understand, fuck* them**. 

 

*Not literally.

**Maybe literally.

Finally, someone talking sense.  The voice of reason.  Who'd have thought? (!)

 

  On 19/09/2018 at 18:47, Kiltox said:

Would a leased pickup be too pikey? Very tax efficient

Is there a list anywhere of what does and doesn't constitute a van/plant now?  Can't seem to find one.

[oldcars]

  On 19/09/2018 at 14:10, xtriple said:

I was wrong, bloody great dent in the rear wing of the XJ-S, sharp sod as well, thanks bins/wind! 

Nightmare, but you will be amazed at what a good PDR can get out if it has not broken the paint. About 2 months after i had the 75 painted a shopping trolley creased the drivers door. PDR chap got it all out.

[DodgeRover]

Needs to have a certain payload capacity from memory, some top spec double cab pickups are too heavy unladen to have the required payload.

[AMC Rebel]

  On 20/09/2018 at 07:57, BorniteIdentity said:

 

 

Is there a list anywhere of what does and doesn't constitute a van/plant now?  Can't seem to find one.

Dunno about that but this gives some ideas

 

https://www.parkers.co.uk/company-cars/2016/pick-ups-as-company-cars/

[AMC Rebel]

  On 19/09/2018 at 19:26, Kiltox said:

Not sure how benefit in kind works for such an old car.... but it does.

Over 15 years old it's on the market value of the car with an upper limit of 80K (assuming it's now worth more than the original list price).

 

IIRC introduced in the 80s because powerfully built directors were paying themselves in Pagoda Mercs and E-Types.

[Cavcraft]

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I never did get my dream job as a sound technician, but I'm not one to one to one to complain.

[Cavcraft]

Also, finding out Karen Carpenter was a racist came as a bit of a shock. She used to stand on top of the world looking down on Croatia.

[Kiltox]

Pickups need to have a 1 ton payload.

 

Anything that is actually a van (like a Duster Commercial ) is still a Van despite payload.

 

HMRC do publish a list somewhere.

[Kiltox]

  On 20/09/2018 at 08:20, AMC Rebel said:

Over 15 years old it's on the market value of the car with an upper limit of 80K (assuming it's now worth more than the original list price).

 

IIRC introduced in the 80s because powerfully built directors were paying themselves in Pagoda Mercs and E-Types.

Does that mean I can make my Primera a company car, with a market value of about £6, and pay BIK on my employer’s hugely generous “benefit”?

[AMC Rebel]

  On 20/09/2018 at 10:40, Kiltox said:

Does that mean I can make my Primera a company car, with a market value of about £6, and pay BIK on my employer’s hugely generous “benefit”?

Sadly not - as I edited the original post to say, it only applies where the value now is more than the original list price.

 

I looked at making my previous X350 jaaag a company car once - but the list price was a bazzillion and you get no reduction at all for age (until 15 years) so it would've been dearer (in BIK tax) than buying/leasing a modern shitbox.

[Kiltox]

Ahhh it’s list price or more. I get you.

[oldcars]

  On 20/09/2018 at 10:37, Cavcraft said:

Also, finding out Karen Carpenter was a racist came as a bit of a shock. She used to stand on top of the world looking down on Croatia.

That is brilliant, one of the best ever.   

[bolognasal spray]

  On 20/09/2018 at 10:36, Cavcraft said:

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I never did get my dream job as a sound technician, but I'm not one to one to one to complain.

 

[New POD]

  On 19/09/2018 at 16:37, BorniteIdentity said:

Had a ‘Job Interview’ of sorts at a premier league football club today (I know this sounds like the start to one of Cavcraft’s amazing gags but it ain’t).

 

Unsurprisingly, it’s an off pitch role - but necessity dictated it happen at the rather famous training facility.

 

It went very, very well indeed.

 

However, it is now abundantly clear that I do need a car that represents the values of both my brand and theirs. Not a 20 year old Toyota that’s burning oil and fuel as fast as each-other.

 

This is a real rub for me. I’m the least flash person I know, and am generally uncomfortable with any displays of wealth etc. But I suppose there are other members on here who keep their crap car habit to the weekend, right?

 

It’s a grump, because now I probably have to spend money (!)

PART of the salary negotiation.

[New POD]

  On 20/09/2018 at 10:40, Kiltox said:

Does that mean I can make my Primera a company car, with a market value of about £6, and pay BIK on my employer’s hugely generous “benefit”?

NO ltd company pays 45p a mile tax free. UNTIL. you get to 10k in the year. THEN you sell it to the Ltd company and it becomes a pool car. Which is only used for company business, which pays for repairs out of pretax profits

AT THIS stage you wait until the end of the year and the Ltd company then sells it back to you at a nominal fee. And you then claim 45p a mile until 10k, and then sell it to Ltd company.

Rinse and repeat.