The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

dunno how that would work though if someone has a grudge against you

They'd get some dogshit through their postbox. This has worked for me as a counter revenge tactic in the past.

No, don't post it. Wrap it in some newspaper, place it on their doorstep, set fire to it, ring the doorbell and scarper. If all goes to plan, they will get an unpleasant surprise when they stamp on the paper to put it out

 

Or so I've heard...

[CortinaDave]

Shite alight! used to play that when i was ten

[Father Ted]

Dunb young mum in new KA is drifting over the lane - texting at the wheel, while brat in chair in the back sits unknowingly. .

Wasnt this silly bint was it?

[Cavcraft]

Shite alight! used to play that when i was ten

[Station]

Still amazed to see people still using mobile phones, even intelligent, successful men driving those flashy £300p/m contract hire BMW's, Audis, Passats, Peugeot 407s, in their expensive suits from Top Shop - can they afford a hands-free, or does their busy lifestyle mean they can't spend 30 seconds sync'ing it up - you don't even have to further resemble a part of the female anatomy by wearing something in the ear, it comes through the stereo.

It didn't really bother me until I started totting up the amount of people pulling out on me on their mobile phones because they weren't paying attention, like me having to slam on at 30mph while dickhead gives me a surprised glance, phone pressed against ear with left hand, while right hand does all the steering work.

[CIH]

Cycling today in the fine weather and on returning from taking my pix of spottings I find myself running out of space between the traffic and the kerb.

 

Dunb young mum in new KA is drifting over the lane - texting at the wheel, while brat in chair in the back sits unknowingly.

 

Texting! and to cap it all, she has one of these 'baby on board' type window signs. IRONY

 

Sure, it was slow moving traffic (<25mph) but still.

 

When will this stop? I see this all the faggin time - always wimmin too.

surely giving the offending "car"a good thump would suffice ?

[chaseracer]

It didn't really bother me until I started totting up the amount of people pulling out on me on their mobile phones because they weren't paying attention, like me having to slam on at 30mph while dickhead gives me a surprised glance, phone pressed against ear with left hand, while right hand does all the steering work.

This happened to me in Burton on Friday. For added WTF!/shite points it was a Latvian-registered LHD V40, so Sergei's view of the roundabout he was about to enter - in front of my clearly signalling car, with its headlights on - was blocked by his own right hand and the phone held in it...

 

[Father Ted]

 

Hands free kit = free

[warren t claim]

My three year old son is now singing the webuyanycar jingle.

[Louise2cv]

My three year old son is now singing the webuyanycar jingle.

Count yourself lucky: when I was little it was the oh so catchy jingle for "Bodyform"

 

[boobydoo]

Dear Autoshite,

 

Is there a law I'm unaware of that states that there should be a reverse ratio of how many England flags you can drape outside your house to what level of unkemptness your front garden has to be in?

 

I think its awful that people who go to the trouble of supporting our boys aren't allowed to buy lawnmowers or nice flower pots and have to put up with rusty Mondeos on bricks outside their front window and in some cases old fridges and mattresses! No doubt because the poor souls have been forced to buy a 72" hd TV and 24 can packs of Stella instead.

 

Dreadful. I think volunteers should pay for them to get it all nicely landscaped courtesy of the taxpayer.

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

Edna Scrutbucket

Tunbridge Wells.

[autofive]

PMSL

 

 

 

 

 

i passed a house this afternoon and both downstairs windows were completely covered by huge St. George flags and bunting on the upsatirs windows. sitting in front of the flags were a couple of bare chested morons swigging stella watching a huge TV

 

the only things missing were knotted hankies on heads and a rottweiler

 

i didnt have my camera - or else i would taken a pic

[Mr H Sceptre]

Main dealers.

 

'Our' new to us family wagon went in for a simple service (first car I've stuck into a dealer for service ) and shortly after dropping the car off had the snooty mare on the service desk on the phone warning us of further work.... £1100 worth of 'recommended' work.

 

Diesel pump noisey and 'going to fail' WTF!!!

 

Exhaust needing adjusted. (?)

 

O/S/F drop link and wishbone bush. Replace in pair, suspension geometry check, front & rear axle alignment. For replacing a bush..? A bush they want £94 for. Priced a full set of Polybushes for the front of the car for £55, droplinks £14 each not £29 like they are asking.

 

Front number plate adrift. True, like I want you to fix it though, just do what yer told, reset the service light and stamp the fucking book...

 

I've found the service CD for the car on ebay, and the dealers stamp is just simple block text easily reproduced by rubberstampz.co.uk.... Fuck knows why I gave them it in the first place.

 

Shit fuck bastard. Ahh... thats better!

I take it you didnt have them carry out the work??

[Des]

Lot more of those England flags about this time round. and a few houses in my vicinity overdone with them. Last time, there was just the one place locally with the oversize flag hanging sideways, lots of smaller ones, etc. and lo and behold when England were playing the occupant was out mowing his lawn, kind of sums it up.

[Tayne]

.

[ashmicro]

Bastard midgies!

I went to a party in rural Perthshire last night, I was outside the whole time so I'm now covered in bites.

 

 

"Today! 2 amazing deals on eBay!"

Now ebay has a record of my entire purchasing history (and most of my browsing history) yet is now sending me junk emails about england flag tat, women's clothing, toddler's toys and all manner of shit that I have no intention of buying EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Get to fuck ebay.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpxQp3Hy5nk[/b]

[autofive]

Bastard midgies!

I went to a party in rural Perthshire last night, I was outside the whole time so I'm now covered in bites.

 

 

"Today! 2 amazing deals on eBay!"

Now ebay has a record of my entire purchasing history (and most of my browsing history) yet is now sending me junk emails about england flag tat, women's clothing, toddler's toys and all manner of shit that I have no intention of buying EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Get to fuck ebay.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpxQp3Hy5nk[/b]

 

[trigger]

Tayne as spotted out last weekend.

 

 

Funny enough i saw a man dressed as a women in the pub last night, He/She looked like Les Dawson in a wig.

[Guest]

Sweeping job cuts to come over at the local authority, 3000 jobs at risk. Considering that my job is considered a backroom task I would say my odds of being made redundant are about 50:50. Should find out in the next few weeks if my job is officially at risk and probably around August if I'm in for the chop. If I go any time in the next few months I'll be entitled to a whopping 2.5 weeks redundancy pay, but there's got to be at least 30 days notice and they give you time off for interviews which I suppose I can fabricate for a few afternoons off as no one wants to employ me.

 

If it happens, I consider my chances of immediate re-employment slim, so if anyone wants jobs doing for money bear me in mind - unlicensed minicabbing, driving, courier work, valeting, night watchman duties, chaperoning vulnerable teenage girls, that sort of thing. 24 hours, good rates.

 

However, I've booked the next two days off work so I can just relax and not worry about the place, hooray!

[Lord Sterling]

Sorry to hear about that Hirst, I hope all goes well for you. I think if you lose your job you'll be fine getting another job if its office-type work your after, with your experience you should be fine. But then again its still pretty much an employers market out there so they can still pretty much cherry pick 'Professors of Sciences' to stack shelves.

[warren t claim]

My three year old son is now singing the webuyanycar jingle.

Count yourself lucky: when I was little it was the oh so catchy jingle for "Bodyform"

 

I've just learned off Mutha Claim that when I was his age it was the Williams jingle I used to sing. As sung by schoolkids in The Sweeney movie I believe!

[Station]

Jeremy Kyle is on now. He's a massive tool. The final result ends up with a Polygraph "which are dismissed as pseudoscience by the scientific community". I hate this nasty, rat-faced horror-bag, if he ever put his rotten face up to mine and shouted in it, I'd be doing life!

[Station]

When it takes 5 minutes for the Indian woman on the other end of the phone when you're trying to sort your insurance to try and understand what your NAME is, there's a serious problem there. I've been trying to insure for the past 1 hour, and they are constantly giving me an old reg number of a car I had ages ago. "So, your reg number is XXXXXXX", "No, I've told you it's XXXXXX". I've got the MOT at 2.45, and I still haven't put the fucker back together yet, I'm still on hold!

[gearoil]

Main dealers.

 

'Our' new to us family wagon went in for a simple service (first car I've stuck into a dealer for service ) and shortly after dropping the car off had the snooty mare on the service desk on the phone warning us of further work.... £1100 worth of 'recommended' work.

 

Diesel pump noisey and 'going to fail' WTF!!!

 

Exhaust needing adjusted. (?)

 

O/S/F drop link and wishbone bush. Replace in pair, suspension geometry check, front & rear axle alignment. For replacing a bush..? A bush they want £94 for. Priced a full set of Polybushes for the front of the car for £55, droplinks £14 each not £29 like they are asking.

 

Front number plate adrift. True, like I want you to fix it though, just do what yer told, reset the service light and stamp the fucking book...

 

I've found the service CD for the car on ebay, and the dealers stamp is just simple block text easily reproduced by rubberstampz.co.uk.... Fuck knows why I gave them it in the first place.

 

Shit fuck bastard. Ahh... thats better!

I take it you didnt have them carry out the work??

Nope. It'll be done at home like all the others before have been done.

[pompei]

RIP Frank Sidebottom

[Guest]

RIP Frank Sidebottom

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mr H Sceptre]

RIP Frank Sidebottom

Was just about to post re. this. Sidey was a f**king legend, loved going to see him live more than anything. He was a true maverick.

 

Cancer, only diagnosed last month.

 

Really pissed off now.

[MrDuke]

Oops, should've been in the happy thread. Too much vodka, clearly.

[chaseracer]

Late-model Audi A4, youngish suited/booted fella 'driving', narrow country lane, excessive speed. You just know where this is going... Fortunately, our hero managed to hold it together long enough to dive into a convenient gateway without bouncing off the front of the B'lingo, which I had halted from the careful 20mph I'd been doing (I know this lane )

 

What made Oi larf (eventually) was his sarcastic "thank you!") as I passed. What?!? Thank you for not chinning me for driving like a total knob? Thank you for not pointing out that looking where I'm going might be a good plan, as would doing so at a velocity more appropriate to the conditions?

 

My response was concise and to the point. Twat.

 

[Electric Leyland]

RIP Frank Sidebottom

Was just about to do a new topic, I'm utterly devasted at this. Been a big fan since the 80s.