The grumpy thread

[chester drawers]

^ Cheers. I’ve pinched someone’s prescription co-codamol for now. Will be sat on the dentist’s door step when he disembarks from his E class in the morning.

[Rusty Pelican]

  chester drawers said:

^ . Will be sat on the dentist’s door step .

Me too , My pain has changed somewhat , yesterday every drink shot me though the roof , now I can drink fine but cant even touch it and especially bite on it , Dentures must be the way to go

[MrDuke]

I've stuck the 740 on the Bay for £150 start with no reserve. First message received this evening: "would you take 150 for it".Well obviously, if no-one else bids the price up, I'll fucking have to won't I? Here's a useful tip: try looking up "Auction" in an encyclopaedia before attempting to use an actual fucking auction site. Here's another tip: read my frigging ad properly, then you'll see the last paragraph where I've written "NO BUY IT NOW".This is why I've been putting eBay off for so long it doesn't exactly bode well.

[Mike D]

Car buying MORONS!I've got a few motors up for sale at present, now, the "OMG id luv it m8 but ur 2 far awayz" I can deal with, but there seems to be a new breed of "what's the lowest you'll take to cover me taxing, mot'ing and picking it up" mong appearing.It's a £400 car. Cant afford to arrange transport and mot / tax it at that, then FUCK OFF! You wouldn't do your weekly aldi shop and then try and get the cost of your bus fare knocked off would you, WASTER.No wonder stuff gets scrapped at least the man with the big steel grab doesn't bombard you with inane witterings, he just smiles and chomps it up then hands you the dollar.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Two grumps today:1. I left the lights on the Maxi for a good 48hrs & obviously flattened the battery. As nobody was around for me to get the jumpleads out, & decided to get the AA out. The car started pretty much straight away & he charged the batterey up for 5mins or so. I went straight out for a drive for a couple of miles, returned home & parked up. This morning the battery is flat again. I really hope I've not killed the battery as its only a couple of weeks old & I am skint this week so cant folk out for another one. Wish I had a bloody battery charger. Grrr....2. Went out on sunday night, having a cracking night, loads of mates out etc. I saw this young lady I took a real shine to (exactly my type, tall, brunette, nice figure etc etc) so plucked up the courage to get chatting. Nattering away, getting on really well so I was thinking this is ace, will give her my number etc. Well, there was this old fella sitting at the same table, so I turned round to her & said 'haha who's the old bastard there, bit of a fossil to be out in a bar like this' etc. It was her Dad. I didnt get her number......

[trigger]

Ha Ha!, Good pulling skillz!, That's the kind of thing i would do TBF though!.Can't you take the battery back to where you bought it from telling them it's gone dead over time and it won't now hold a charge, It will come with a warranty so they should replace it. (Just don't tell them you left the lights on though!)

[Mr H Sceptre]

  trigger said:

Ha Ha!, Good pulling skillz!, That's the kind of thing i would do TBF though!.Can't you take the battery back to where you bought it from telling them it's gone dead over time and it won't now hold a charge, It will come with a warranty so they should replace it. (Just don't tell them you left the lights on though!)

Atually, thats not too bad an idea. Obv havent for the receipt or anything, but I guess its worth a shot.

[AlsoMike]

  Mr H Sceptre said:

Went out on Sunday night, having a cracking night, loads of mates out etc. I saw this young lady I took a real shine to (exactly my type, tall, brunette, nice figure etc etc) so plucked up the courage to get chatting. Nattering away, getting on really well so I was thinking this is ace, will give her my number etc. Well, there was this old fella sitting at the same table, so I turned round to her & said 'Haha who's the old bastard there, bit of a fossil to be out in a bar like this' etc. It was her Dad. I didn't get her number......

You've obviously seen me out at a bar and taken notes. I have an uncanny knack of being able to scare away ANY woman, I have even been known to lose out on dead certs in the past, such are my skills.

[Minimad5]

  AlsoMike said:

I have an uncanny knack of being able to scare away ANY woman

Shit there are other people like me then ?

[barrett]

  Minimad5 said:

  AlsoMike said:

I have an uncanny knack of being able to scare away ANY woman

Shit there are other people like me then ?

Yep. Just try not to mention old cars, it never helps. (''what did you do this week?'' ''oh I identified a rare Fiat on autopuzzles.com...'') Usual chat with girls for me goes something like:them- so what music do you like then?me- oh you know, jazz, prog, stuff like that....them- see you later thenstill, seem to be doing quite well with dutch_grrl. Wont be long before she catches me taking a photo of a toyota camry or something though

[Minimad5]

  barrett said:

Yep. Just try not to mention old cars

I showed a girl a picture of my cars, and she said the Mk1 Fiesta was "cute" , still didn't get me anywhere .... mind she did say she was a lesbian Good luck with "dutch_grrl" (You should get her to pose next to some of your shite.... for a new avatar )

[Mr H Sceptre]

  barrett said:

Usual chat with girls for me goes something like:them- so what music do you like then?me- oh you know, jazz, prog, stuff like that....them- see you later then

Said girl was a massive Beatles fanatic, so that was pretty cool as I'm a big Beatles fan myself. Didnt bother banging on about The Fall though, that normally doesnt work.Well, just remembered by mate teaches this girl guitar from time to time, so might have to explore that avenue. Though probably will still f*ck it up. But at least I can remember her name now, so thats good.

[barrett]

Mark, if I had some shite..... I still wouldn't do that, I know what you lot are like.Mr.H, we listened to 'this nation's saving grace' twice in a row, which gave me an excuse to tell my Mark.E Smith/ Damo Suzuki story. Good thing about Brighton is 90% of people are huge music fanatics. I think it's the only town where people consider having the sex to 'Metal Machine Music' to be normal.

[Minimad5]

  barrett said:

I know what you lot are like

Do i take that as a compliment ?

[maxpower]

a MASSIVE THANKS to the ebay twat that took the whole bank holiday to work out i live too far for him to come and collect item...no fuckin problem mate i enjoyed sitting staring at 4 walls waiting on you reaching that decision should have said i will deliver..and left him stuck indoors for a weekend

[Mr H Sceptre]

  barrett said:

Mark, if I had some shite..... I still wouldn't do that, I know what you lot are like.Mr.H, we listened to 'this nation's saving grace' twice in a row, which gave me an excuse to tell my Mark.E Smith/ Damo Suzuki story. Good thing about Brighton is 90% of people are huge music fanatics. I think it's the only town where people consider having the sex to 'Metal Machine Music' to be normal.

Nice one - thats the best of the Fall lp's in my opinion. Followed by Fall Heads Roll.I was just flicking through my vinyl over the weekend & saw Metal Machine Music peeping out at me. I considered giving it a quick spin, but really couldnt face it. 'Difficult' is the word that springs to mind.

[Cavcraft]

Spaccy car adverts:

 

'Archers need work'.

Has the long running radio show now finished or do you have some dusty bows and arrows kicking about?

 

Oh, you mean arches. Well why didn't you type that then you lazy, idiotic fucking BELLEND?

[M'coli]

  Mr H Sceptre said:

  trigger said:

Ha Ha!, Good pulling skillz!, That's the kind of thing i would do TBF though!.Can't you take the battery back to where you bought it from telling them it's gone dead over time and it won't now hold a charge, It will come with a warranty so they should replace it. (Just don't tell them you left the lights on though!)

Atually, thats not too bad an idea. Obv havent for the receipt or anything, but I guess its worth a shot.

I took a battery back to a store that had had the jack handle short it to earth, they had no problems with this - in 1991. Give it a go.

[dollywobbler]

Arses. I think my third cold of the year is coming on. That's just crap. Especially as I'm on hols next week. Gaaaargh! (ow my throat!)

[whitevanman]

  Minimad5 said:

  AlsoMike said:

I have an uncanny knack of being able to scare away ANY woman

Shit there are other people like me then ?

keep it that way......once you do get lucky..........your FUCKED..and not just in bed

[Guest]

With regards to people who are having trouble with "the birds", here is a top tip from a "pickup artist". Simply obtain a very extravagant silk shirt (the kind of thing an Indian shopkeeper might wear on a night out circa 1983-1991) and some white loafers. Then stand outside a nightclub, slightly glum-faced, with a handwritten sign that says "please".Works every time!

[MrDuke]

^^^^^ I suspect that only works if you're standing in front of a freshly-polished beige Galant, with Pizzicato Five trickling out of the Audioline shelf speakers...

[STUNO]

  dollywobbler said:

Arses. I think my third cold of the year is coming on. That's just crap. Especially as I'm on hols next week. Gaaaargh! (ow my throat!)

I used to work in a Gin distillery. One good sniff from the top of a vat and the cold was gone for the day!!

[seth]

Sorry to change the subject but.....

 

US Prosecutors.

 

From the BBC website "A Pakistan-born US citizen has been charged with terrorism and trying to use a weapon of mass destruction"

 

Now unless I am much mistaken a car with some gas cylinders and fireworks does not constitute a "WMD". Did the IRA use WMDs? No! They used frickin' car bombs and the like which are perfectly capable of killing/injuring within a certain distance, and cause a fair amount of damage to nearby property but they do not wipe large sections or even the entire local population from existence. If a car with some explosives in is now re-classified as a WMD then it certainly gets Blair etc off the hook as Saddam had plenty I'm sure!

[trigger]

Fire engines.This evening i was driving from Colchester back home to Ipswich along the A12 when two fire engines with there lights flashing came on to the carriageway.I was following behind them, First unit in the slow lane and the second units was in the fast lane doing about 60 mph, I go into the slow lane again and a Mercedes passes me and sits behind the fire engine.This goes on for about 5 miles until we pass the accident scene on the other side where a small car had crashed into the crash barrier on a bend at a well know accident spot near Dedham, The first unit turns off left as expected of the carriageway slip road to go under it to get to the other side, while the second unit see a gap in the central reservation and decides to anchor up and do a 'J' turn right in the middle of the A12 whilst we are all doing 50-60mph, By this point i was in the fast lane again behind the Merc who had to slam on his brakes, Then i hammered up (Thank god i wasn't in the 02 and alway keep a good distance) and i looked up in my rear view mirror to see a suited chap in a Ford Focus tearing up behind me in a cloud of smoke at great speed.I crapped myself, I was really expecting to be rear ended, Amazingly he stopped in time, I couldn't even see his bonnet he was that close, but it must of scared the hell out off him as he looked like he had seen a ghost and was rubbing his face after!.That was the closest i've ever been to a pile up all because the fire engine just done a J turn, Hopefully the driver is o.k in the smashed up small silver car on the other side though.

[Station]

  Cavette said:

Spaccy car adverts:

 

'Archers need work'.

Has the long running radio show now finished or do you have some dusty bows and arrows kicking about?

 

Oh, you mean arches. Well why didn't you type that then you lazy, idiotic fucking BELLEND?

[Station]

Superglue!Fucking hell, if I wanted two pieces of plastic to sort of sit together, before letting gravity or even the slightest blow from a passing fly allow to slowly separate, I wouldn't have bothered in the fucking first place! How do these glue manufacturers get away with producing such a shit product?I have Araldite (two different types), but thought I'd chance it with 'Bostik', which to be frank, has fucking appalling sticking properties. It has no fucking purpose whatsoever.

[garethj]

  Station said:

Superglue!Fucking hell, if I wanted two pieces of plastic to sort of sit together, before letting gravity or even the slightest blow from a passing fly allow to slowly separate, I wouldn't have bothered in the fucking first place! How do these glue manufacturers get away with producing such a shit product?I have Araldite (two different types), but thought I'd chance it with 'Bostik', which to be frank, has fucking appalling sticking properties. It has no fucking purpose whatsoever.

Araldite Rapid is pretty good, and for really fast glueing I use Loctite 454. The others I've tried are as much use as spitting on the parts and holding them together

[wuvvum]

I've actually found that the two-pack epoxy imitation araldite stuff from the pound shop is surprisingly good, although it does take a good while to go off.

[Minimad5]

Station get yourself to poundland !They sell them small tubes of glue, i think it is something like 3 for £1They stick to anything and everything (Trust me, my fingers and a model Spitfire know !!)