The grumpy thread

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I reckon I will vote libdem as well. I reckon if they had a campagin slogan of 'vote lib dem - whats the worst that can happen'? they might get a bit more interest. After 31 years of thatcherism anything else has to be worth a try.

[Minimad5]

As this year will be my first Vote !I have no idea who to Vote for ... why is there not an Autoshite option ... it would be soo much easier

[Mr H Sceptre]

There are only really 2 issues I'm bothered about that would potentially swing my vote: 1. Bring back the rolling 25yr tax exemption (obviously) & 2. Keep shipping in these attractive Polish ladies.Easily pleased. And if a canvasser comes to my doorstep I shall let them know this.

[CortinaDave]

I hate all the bloody junk mail we'll be getting from politicians over the next month. There's a bloody sea of it every time there's an election making my hall look untidy. Plus we'll get all those newsletters "just to let you know what I've been doing for you lately" from the local MP who you never hear from the rest of the time.

[chester drawers]

 

I think one of these will be getting shoved up in the living room window.

 

If that doesn't deter canvassers I'll be quite happy to disclose my voting intentions. Writing none of the above on the ballot paper. Again.

[Cavcraft]

I might actually vote Lin Dem as if it would help get a hung parliament I think that could be a good thing.Fuck voting for Cameron, I wouldn't have anyway tbh, but his remarks/implications about the B.A strikers reminded me of that twat Thatcher.I'd vote Labour but I can't stand the fat cunt in charge so that's possibly out of the question.

[seth]

My problem is that I think our local MP is actually quite good but I'm not sure I can bring myself to vote for his party this time around.

[Mr H Sceptre]

I might actually vote Lin Dem as if it would help get a hung parliament I think that could be a good thing.Fuck voting for Cameron, I wouldn't have anyway tbh, but his remarks/implications about the B.A strikers reminded me of that twat Thatcher.I'd vote Labour but I can't stand the fat cunt in charge so that's possibly out of the question.

Agreed. Couldnt quote for Cameron either, he's just a smarmy popsh kid who makes mee cringe. Labour isnt labour anymore, that trendy vicar type Blair saw to that.I'd quite like to see a hung parliament as well, esp if Vince Cable had a prominent role in the cabinet.Oh, & on a proper grumpy note, the letter E has removed itself from my laptop keyboard & it its irrepairable...ballache.

[chester drawers]

the letter E has removed itself from my laptop keyboard & it its irrepairable...ballache.

Good quality shots of the key, associated scissor mech and where it previously fitted and I'll route through some scrap.Failing that it's a case of getting the part number off the back of the keyboard and a bit of a search.

[Polystratus]

Fucking car insurance.Renewal quote for a 160mph Suzuki Gsxr600...£8 per month.Classic insurance quote for the Mr Duke Volvo...£1337.40 per year.Go fucking figure.

Lancaster Insurance have always been pretty cheap for me.http://www.lancasterinsurance.co.uk/

Not having any associations with them, apart from insuring the cars with them, they are highly recommended, no hassle when doing the online quotes - filled out the forms and got the certificate a few days later.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Yep, me too. All done online & documents received after 2 working days.

[warren t claim]

Fucking car insurance.Renewal quote for a 160mph Suzuki Gsxr600...£8 per month.Classic insurance quote for the Mr Duke Volvo...£1337.40 per year.Go fucking figure.

Lancaster Insurance have always been pretty cheap for me.http://www.lancasterinsurance.co.uk/

Not having any associations with them, apart from insuring the cars with them, they are highly recommended, no hassle when doing the online quotes - filled out the forms and got the certificate a few days later.

That mega-quote was from Lancaster!

[Mr H Sceptre]

Really? That does suprise me.

[Mr Lobster]

Grumpy. I come home to a house full of women of which I am related all making OMG ITS A BABY noises over Baby Lobsta. I deeply wish they would all fuck off to their homes.

[Slaighty]

Waited since Friday for Halfords to get me a fuel pump for Mrs car (they told me they could have it in same afternoon or next day latest). Arrived with them this afternoon, collected it after work and its the wrong one.GrrrrrBack on the pushbike then for work so Mrs can use my Ashtray, cheers Halfords.

[retrogeezer]

the friggin search function on here - it's bloody pointless. I just typed in 'MG for sale' and I think it just returned every single thread ever.

[Father Ted]

Really fancy a SWB land rover of the 2.5 perkins persuasion. Someone talk me out of it please because I know it will be a bad idea and cause much financial pain.

[Guest]

Waited since Friday for Halfords to get me a fuel pump for Mrs car (they told me they could have it in same afternoon or next day latest). Arrived with them this afternoon, collected it after work and its the wrong one.GrrrrrBack on the pushbike then for work so Mrs can use my Ashtray, cheers Halfords.

Least they don't trot out the 'well this is the official [insert name of manufacturer here] microfiche' bollocks that they do at GSF. Strange how none of the bits on their shonky shitter of a computer fit my car, innit?Work is getting me annoyed again.There's a decent position going back on my old team. You know, the one I was an FTE part of before I got removed due to my 'drawing the short straw'.It's a lot better paid and you don't have to work stupid shifts or at the weekends. Or Bank Holidays.My chances of getting said position are fair I think. I'm not familiar with all of the processes but I know the management very well indeed. They like having me around (I'm seconded every other bloody day to do stuff for them as their FTE people are off because of bereavement or doctor sponsored skiving fits) and I can count one the senior bods as a very good mate.There are four positions going. Two I'm pretty confident will go to two lads who are already on the team, mainly because they're damn good, they're good at their jobs and they're not utter bastards.One position will probably go to our office in Scotland. That leaves us with one place, for which I'm up against two other people. One I wouldn't be that bothered if he got it. The other is a complete and utter arsewipe. You may remember in one of my previous rants that I banged heads with him around Christmas time when we were seconded off in a separate room.He talks shit constantly, is full of shit and quite honestly believes he is King Shit of Turd mountain. But he isn't, and for all his garrolous prattle he can't ever quite reconcile this with the truth. He's a lot older than us and fancies himself as a manager, because he trained a few people at Christmas. He isn't a manager because he lies his arse off and doesn't do what he's told.Fast forward to the run up to the interviews and he's droning on and on and on and on about how brilliant he is, and how there's no chance of him not getting the job because there's nothing they can get him on. Everyone on the team is a bit worried because if they face a demotion to the phones, doing shit hours and having to deal with whinging shitbag customers. In a way I have less to lose, because I'm seconded and am already on the phones, so I've fallen as far as I can go, fairly or unfairly.So we're trying to get on with work, and he's banging on and on about this new role and how it's unfair that anyone other than him gets considered. He wastes at least an hour a day doing this, and it winds everyone up. I've not said anything to him yet, but I can feel it in the post. I'm unsure if he knows how fucking annoying he is and how ridiculous he sounds, but it isn't needed as the team struggles as it is.According to this wanker, who's the big I am in his head, nothing gets done if he's not there, at least one in two people in the office have been trained up by him and he's the fastest worker there is. Also, he produces all the reports. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. He had the reports taken off him because all he did was spout this inane shit day in day off. It's not needed, and it's getting to everyone. Funny how more gets done when he's not around isn't it? I had two hours of training with my other team today and I STILL managed to do more than he did for a full shift.What I will say is that the management don't like him. They've taken work off him and distributed it outwards, something he regards as a personal insult. Why the fuck then was he shortlisted? No one deserves to have to work \ put up with him. I really hope he falls flat on his arse. He's taken the piss for nearly two years and I'll laugh my arse off if \ when he drops out of that team. I hope he has to go back on sales and on the bollocks shifts when all you get is hysterical twats from Tunbridge Wells screaming down the line because their shipment of doilies was three seconds late or some shit.Either that or I'll dismantle his 'orthopaedic' chair again, and stab him in the head with what's left of the gas lift piston in full view of the rest of the office.I fucking hate him and I want him to fail. I cannot stress this enough.University has never looked more appealing.

[j-j]

I always enjoy reading about your work rants!Sorry, I do feel your pain honestly!!

[Guest]

I always enjoy reading about your work rants!Sorry, I do feel your pain honestly!!

What's the word? Catharsis? It helps me typing it out. On the one hand I know people here have similarly shit situations at work, and on the Beadle I can sit back and laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is.

[Cavcraft]

He's probably been short listed to keep him sweet and make him think he's a 'valued member of the team' or some such management speak bollocks. The more fucking shite they chat, they more fucking laughable they are when they fall.Otherwise just like superglue his locker shut, make him a cup of hot chocolate and put pigeon shit in it, or buy him an unripe banana and carefully scribe 'i HOP U GET CAT AIDZ U BUMER' with a matchstick on it and leave on the window sill in the sun.

[Tayne]

.

[warren t claim]

Fortunately in my line of work if the boss wants to call you a cunt they will always do it to your face. There is nothing they want less than an angry driver quitting his job 450 miles away from base and leaving a £50000 truck in a motorway service area, usually parked in a coach bay so when they eventually get an agency driver down there his first job is to deal with the clampers.

[Guest]

Watanearth: Just resign yourself to the fact that he will get the job. In fact, the job was probably created especially for him. He will get it, be on more pay than you and do very well out of the whole thing. There'll be no logic behind it. I've learned to accept that my job is more like existing within a surreal painting.Top tip: Spice up the work day by convincing people that you've completely lost your marbles. Go into Microsoft Word, set the font size to 200 and repeatedly type "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME" in full view, that always cheers me up.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Otherwise just like superglue his locker shut, make him a cup of hot chocolate and put pigeon shit in it, or buy him an unripe banana and carefully scribe 'i HOP U GET CAT AIDZ U BUMER' with a matchstick on it and leave on the window sill in the sun.

Hahaha classic.A mate of mine was accused of being racist by his boss a few years ago (he wasnt/isnt - he doesnt have a bad bone in him) & was taken to a tribunal. He won his tribunal of course but quit his job anyway as he felt his position was now untenable. On his last day his boss was out of the office, so he wiped his knob round the top edge of his boss' cup.

[warren t claim]

Watanearth: Just resign yourself to the fact that he will get the job. In fact, the job was probably created especially for him. He will get it, be on more pay than you and do very well out of the whole thing. There'll be no logic behind it. I've learned to accept that my job is more like existing within a surreal painting.Top tip: Spice up the work day by convincing people that you've completely lost your marbles. Go into Microsoft Word, set the font size to 200 and repeatedly type "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME" in full view, that always cheers me up.

Biblical passages work even better.

[M'coli]

I always enjoy reading about your work rants!Sorry, I do feel your pain honestly!!

What's the word? Catharsis? It helps me typing it out. On the one hand I know people here have similarly shit situations at work, and on the Beadle I can sit back and laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is.

Catharsis is correct - The Cathars were persecuted and slaughtered amongst many other people and hence a Cathartic experience is a cleansing so severe that "God shall know his own"...

[Guest]

Watanearth: Just resign yourself to the fact that he will get the job. In fact, the job was probably created especially for him. He will get it, be on more pay than you and do very well out of the whole thing. There'll be no logic behind it. I've learned to accept that my job is more like existing within a surreal painting.Top tip: Spice up the work day by convincing people that you've completely lost your marbles. Go into Microsoft Word, set the font size to 200 and repeatedly type "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME" in full view, that always cheers me up.

Biblical passages work even better.

Thanks for the encouragement Hirst. I may thank you later. If it doesn't go off, does anyone have a job that isn't sales \ call centre related around South Manchester.My [sound] boss on the drudgery team will probably be receiving a carefully worded resignation letter about this time next month. She deserves better.

[Pete-M]

Chap I know got barred from his local boozer by a new landlord, so he bought four mice from his local pet shop, two male, two female, and posted them through the pub letter box.Few days later, the pub was shut "For improvements".

[maxpower]

Watanearth: Just resign yourself to the fact that he will get the job. In fact, the job was probably created especially for him. He will get it, be on more pay than you and do very well out of the whole thing. There'll be no logic behind it. I've learned to accept that my job is more like existing within a surreal painting.Top tip: Spice up the work day by convincing people that you've completely lost your marbles. Go into Microsoft Word, set the font size to 200 and repeatedly type "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME" in full view, that always cheers me up.

Biblical passages work even better.

Thanks for the encouragement Hirst. I may thank you later. If it doesn't go off, does anyone have a job that isn't sales \ call centre related around South Manchester.My [sound] boss on the drudgery team will probably be receiving a carefully worded resignation letter about this time next month. She deserves better.

if he does the phones...cover his earpiece in superglue... then say "oh! (name) are you working on through your break?"