The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Real Housewives of Cheshire: the whole sorry lot of the plastic faces scrubbers need a fucking good shoeing. Or better still, a fucking good shooting.

[mat_the_cat]

Salt on the roads. Its not meant to be cold not until at least next october yet the gits are still battering it on.

 

I actually went to this thread to have the very same moan! It's been a mild winter, yet the roads are still being gritted. But we haven't had a ground frost since early February.

[Honey Badger]

Engine management light comes on in the Accord Coupe every time it tries to change to 2nd, sounds expensive and probably terminal....

[HillmanImp]

Its cheaper to spend all our council tax on tonnes and tonnes of salt compared to the litigation they would receive for each person in a Kraut middlemanagementmobile suing them as they spun off the road in a small spot of ice. Remember other people are now liable for anyone who is incapable of looking after themselves.

 

HEY! I JUST CUT OFF MY OWN DICK BY STICKING IT IN THE FOOD BLENDER!

 

Dear Mr Morphy Richards, 

 

I have read the instructions of your 48415 easy blender and there does not seem to be anywhere that states that this appliance is unsuitable for sexual self gratification. 

 

Therefore I have instructed my solicitors to bum you for every penny that they can as I am not accountable for my own stupidity.

 

Yours sincerely 

 

 

 

The idiotic British public.

 

 

[MarvinsMom]

i've gone and lost one of the really nice silver earrings that i was given for xmas by an old and dear friend.

 

i'm hoping that i've lost it at home in bed.

 

if not, then i'm going to have to try and buy another pair.....

 

fuck, fuck, fuckerty fuck.....

[AlabamaShrimp]

I have been a grumpy twat all day and expect it to last until tomorrow.... I am not unhappy about this but think others are

[Mr_Bo11ox]

"its a fucking disgrace how the council don't bother gritting the roads round mine any more" etc

 

"Those tossers at the council have put far too much grit on the roads round my way, its not even frosty" etc

[nebuchenezer]

Arrogant Aussie Engineers who think they are the tits but, in reality, could not arrange to breath continuously thus causing me extra stress to sort their incompetent crap out.

[DS20]

"its a fucking disgrace how the council don't bother gritting the roads round mine any more" etc

 

"Those tossers at the council have put far too much grit on the roads round my way, its not even frosty" etc

 

If it's a council that doesn't grit when it is icy but then continues to grit when it isn't, then that pair of comments is entirely reasonable.  Not every local authority is this disorganised, but some are.  North-East Lincs seems to have its act together re gritting, but has decided only to fill in SOME of the potholes on Sanctuary Way (not far from where I live) because of budgetary constraints.  That sort of approach, while possibly justifiable, is also mightily irritating.  

[chaseracer]

Ah... but what WE consider to be a 'pothole' may not meet the accepted dimensional criteria by which the profit-driven 'working partner' (in the 'private venture company' which used to be the Highways Department) defines these things.

 

And it's nearly the end of the financial quarter, so if they don't use up all the grit they over-ordered (because it's been a mild winter despite the forecasts and scary headlines) highly-paid 'managers' will get angry, relatively junior heads will roll and budgets will be cut.

 

Welcome to BEST VALUE.  Your taxes at 'work'...

[Richard]

A couple of months ago LP and I bought tickets for a show tonight in Inverness. Getting a couple of days off midweek has never been a problem but it seems it is now. Engineer A is off that week.

 

Annoying. Plan B- book a job in Elgin for tomorrow. It needs done and will fill the day nicely, saving the work about 3 hours overtime. Everybody wins.

 

Late on Friday afternoon the boss comes up with Plan C. I do a job in Inverness, then one in Fort William and stay overnight somewhere to do a job on Skye on Thursday. Not as neat as my plan and these jobs aren't overdue but it could work.

 

It could work? Can't have that. Plan E, Forget Inverness, do Fort William and Skye on Wednesday.

 

I knew that there would be a Plan F so I had to shitcan my night out.

 

Plan F turned out to be an addendum to E. I can't start the Skye job until 4. It will take a couple of hours at least and about five hours to get home.

 

Fuck work.

[Lacquer Peel]

INFLEXIBLE.

[Richard]

The word I had in mind was a bit shorter.

[daveb47]

Oh well,thats my insurance cost going up then.

My son borrowed my car yesterday.

But here a bus was at bus stop,lights were red at ped crossing next to Champion road junction..

So he,following another car overtook stationary bus to pull up at lights and a car pulled out of car park opposite The Hollies and hit car in front of him head on,he ran ito back of first car.

Moron who pulled out,had seen the lights were red from right and pulled out without checking left.

Insurance have said that it is my sons fault as he ran into back of other car.

Thankfully nobody hurt though.

 

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5564982,0.2460966,50m/data=!3m1!1e3

[bub2006]

I'm sure that could be disputed dave if it's proven the original muppet was at fault and your lad couldn't avoid a collision?

[EssDeeWon]

It generally goes up anyway Dave, the difference is they now have an excuse for coming out with some daft inflated renewal.

 

@Bub, that is unfortunately unlikely, generally speaking if you hit the back of someone you weren't allowing enough time and space according to almost any insurance company.

[vulgalour]

Sounds like a tricky-to-avoid incident given the way things were set up.

[bub2006]

Sorry then folks,I stand corrected.

[chaseracer]

Domestic Management found this out to her cost a couple of years back when some dozy moose in a knackered Corsa B lost it on ice, spun and presented the front of the C3 with an unavoidable (in the real world) target.  Our broker is excellent and would have found a way around it, if one existed.

 

Fortunately, there was no ridiculous shenanigans like "ooh me neck, I've got whiplash".  Either Corsapeople really were as decent as they seemed, or being built like a brick shithouse and possessing a 'fuck with me not' aura has certain advantages...

[steve_earwig]

It seems to me that braking distances are calculated assuming the car in front doesn't stop dead or ever get shunted back towards you.

 

That's a bugger anyway.

[dugong]

Root of all evil.

 

Need money. Am owed money but can't have it. Waiting on a massive expenses bill from work and others I'm now going to have to lean on, hard.

 

Ebayers being idiots - clearly 'collection only' means 'I'll post it just for you'.

[steve_earwig]

My arm hurts No, I've not been looking at pictures of old cars again, I've been a-mowing for the first time this year. I have 4 vintage* Flymos I got from my dad. The first one I pull out has a  Techumseh (Italian) engine and last year

I was fiddling with the carb (Dellorto) in an attempt to make it run right. Pull, pull, fiddle with fuel, pull, pull, curse, pull.... No joy there, so I pull out another one, this time with a JLO (German) engine, drop of 2-stroke, tickle the carb and off we go. For about 10 minutes and then it gets a vapour lock (in this weather?). Pull, pull, pull... 10 minutes later I get it going again and manage to finish. So I go back to the Techumseh, why didn't it start? Flood the carb, a few dozen more pulls, it givea a big puff of black smoke from the cylinder head (what?) and it's running too. Hmm, I think I've worked out what the problem is there...

 

Before you ask I also have a modern Atko self-propelled jobbie but I'm sure you can all appreciate why I prefer not to use it.

[bub2006]

Just got back with the wife after visiting family in my car to find the twat of a neighbour has Parked his car up the arse Of the vectra. Not the first time he has Parked close but this is the first time he has actually touched it. Bumper is pushed in but can't see more till he moves his car. The twat has a big enough drive for 3 cars but yet still tries To push our car down. Wife is fuming and he won't answer door.

[EssDeeWon]

Just got back with the wife after visiting family in my car to find the twat of a neighbour has Parked his car up the arse Of the vectra. Not the first time he has Parked close but this is the first time he has actually touched it. Bumper is pushed in but can't see more till he moves his car. The twat has a big enough drive for 3 cars but yet still tries To push our car down. Wife is fuming and he won't answer door.

 

What an effin twat, you need something old with big chrome bumpers then offer to play 'bumpers' with him!

 

Series one SD1 works a treat in these occasions.

[Parky]

Twats like that annoy me so much.

 

Stand by for multiple imaginative internet revenge techniques!

[bub2006]

Want a fucking towbar. He wants a mallet in the knackers

[bub2006]

I've took photos as he won't come to door so if any damage he replaces bumper or it will go through his insurance

[dollywobbler]

My new phone is making me feel like a doddery old twat. I can't use its touchscreen keyboard and it's generally baffling me. I used to work on IT! Can I get Windows 98 on it? 

 

More seriously, what's the best way of Autoshiting on an Android mobile? The basic mobile site doesn't seem to work too well (won't let me open Station's MGF thread for instance).

[Parky]

Sell for £££££

 

Buy Nokia 3210

 

Next!!

[Pillock]

Tapatalk app is OK, they just keep moving bits. If you've never used it before, that will naturally not be an issue.