The grumpy thread

[FredTransit]

Faceache, Chavbook, Twitcher, can't be doing with em! What's the point?

[Volksy]

Faceache, Chavbook, Twitcher, can't be doing with em! What's the point?

I use facebook, only as its a great tool to use to keep in touch with freinds all over the world. All the stupid applications can sod off though.

[dollywobbler]

Faceache is very useful for me to keep in touch with friends and family around the UK, and the world at times. I know people are like "ooh, just pick the phone up" but that costs money, and I'm tight. Plus, I still haven't found a way to show someone a picture over the phone.

[FredTransit]

Nobody I know in other parts of the country or other countries are on any of the [bBC Generic Term] 'Social Networking Sites[/bBC Generic Term] so I still can't be doing with em. Aside from that (and I'm not bitter, honest) Faceache wouldn't let me in cos it said I was using a fictitious email address. WTF???Pick up the phone FFS! Oh and email pics, remember when you used to do that?

[pogweasel]

Can't be arsed to 'social network'. It rather involves having some friends to begin with, and seeing as I don't really have any friends aside the terrible rogues I have been lumbered with since childhood and cannot escape even if I try, the whole thing seems pointless.

[dollywobbler]

Meh. Different strokes for different folks. Works for me.

[Albert Ross]

Farcebook works for me. Mother in Canada, Uncle in Australia, other family dotted around the globe, it means I can ignore people whenever I like!

[j-j]

Skype to skype video calls are free - I use them for chats and such with my mate up in Inverness.

[FredTransit]

I never tried Skype, and the snag is the person you want to call has to have a Skype phone too, for it to be free.

[j-j]

- that is the snag but usually it's just a case of agreeing that "we'll both get skype" - sometimes works but some people are adverse to it nomatter how often you ask them to join. I used the video call to my sister and partner when they were in Corfu - they were sitting in their hotel room poolside (dems had theyz own pool) and I was sitting at my desk - it was oddness but entertaining.

[ChinaTom]

Skype reduced my company annual phone bill by £13.5k. I'm a fan - big big fan.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

- that is the snag but usually it's just a case of agreeing that "we'll both get skype" - sometimes works but some people are adverse to it nomatter how often you ask them to join.

My dad regularly phones family in Spain at 35p/minute. He owns a laptop with a hardware Skype button above the monitor ( ) so I set him up an account, loaded some money onto it and showed him how to use it to call Spain for 2p/min. He was enthusiastic about it, but not enthusiastic enough to actually use it even once over the past two years, while the phone bills keep rolling in.

[Pillock]

Facebook - it's a bloody pain in the arse but I think I've got the privacy cracked. Only people I add as a friend can see anything to do with me, which amounts to my 'wall' and a picture of, erm, a stuffed monkey. Nobody can tag me in photos. Nobody can add me as a friend, I have to do that bit. I don't even come out if you search for my exact name and location. Perfect, now I can play Bejewled Blitz and laugh at my ex's misfortune in peace.My rant for today: Blackberrys. Not the midly tasty berry which I find plenty of during my daily dogwalk (and eat without washing, nuts to hygene), but the latest mobile phone craze between all the managers at work. All meaning 'all fifty thousand of them' since managers seem to need managers to manage them these days. Anyway, you're guaranteed that within five minutes of a meeting starting, these Blackberrys are all out on show and the slightest hint of a flashing LED or a quiet buzz and they're all being picked up and checked.... because the more often you check it, the more important you obviously are. Now my phone can do email, as could the one before. And four or five before that too. I have no doubt it's a nice phone too, but why the 'fudge' must it suddenly erupt from your pocket as soon as another mangager is within speaking distance?

[Father Ted]

Cant really see the attraction of Bilberry phones. I succumbed to getting a modern phone - a Nokia E63 on 3 network (with their fecking Kurkmanistan call centre that keep phoning me to ask if I want a phone...) £15 a month and I have all the interweb and email I can shake a stick at - Plus it has a propper keyboard to type with, so none of this predictive text rubbish...The downside is I (finally) start work in the prison in 4 weeks and cant take it to work with me.

[Mash]

Cars. Or more specifically those made after about 1978.After the fuel pump on the Accord packed up this morning I now have three 80s cars sat there more or less U/S and am relying on good old 1960s technology to ferry me about. Progress, eh?

[Pete-M]

Cars. Or more specifically those made after about 1978.After the fuel pump on the Accord packed up this morning I now have three 80s cars sat there more or less U/S and am relying on good old 1960s technology to ferry me about. Progress, eh?

Pah. I had a similar thing with the T5 a while ago. It finally blocked its breather canister so I had to use the P6 to trundle off to the Volvo dealer to get a few bits and bobs. The P6 is great, lovely old thing, drives really well, rides better than the Volvo and it's quite possibly a bit quieter. However, sitting at the lights for a while it begins to do the old car shuffle. Is it fuel vaporisation? Have the points closed? If I drop it into neutral and give it a blip will it clear? Plug lead perhaps? Carbs out of balance? Is the fuel gauge telling porkies? Has the fuel pump gone dicky? Has the reserve tap thing gone wrong? Turned out it was nothing and cleared as soon as I gave it some gas, but for 15-20 seconds I was wondering if it was going to get me home unaided. It did, it always has, but it always gets me a bit worried when I'm sitting in heavy traffic. Temp gauge is always fine, and it never misbehaves more than a bit of idle lumpiness but it always adds that feeling of "will it / won't it?" to a journey.Modern cars, despite being overly complicated and lardy, at least tend to have the decency to idle happily in traffic. For that, I salute 'em.

[dollywobbler]

Meh. 2CV runs points-assisted ignition and idles sweetly all of the time. Ok, there's a slight issue with the coil (after an hour in barely moving traffic, it will eventually fail - doesn't happen often thankfully!) but on the plus side, and as demonstrated on the A303 last weekend, as there are no power assists for anything, on downhill sections, you can just turn the engine off for silent crawling.I once tried that with a Peugeot 306 and damned near shat myself when the servo ran out of vacuum!

[Pete-M]

as demonstrated on the A303 last weekend, as there are no power assists for anything, on downhill sections, you can just turn the engine off for silent crawling.I once tried that with a Peugeot 306 and damned near shat myself when the servo ran out of vacuum!

LOL. I had the power steering belt snap on the Jensen when I was trying to wangle it off a ramp in my mates workshop. Jensen had wobbly idle syndrome and I was just about to give it that confident bit of gas when all the manouveurs were nearly done when the bloody belt snapped. 7.2 litres of Jensen hurtling towards something I all of a sudden couldn't steer around. That was interesting.Top Tip: Never try and drive a Jensen without the power steering. I'm not a small chap and it took all my strength just to avoid hitting a 50 gallon drum.

[Volksy]

I caused £2000+ worth of damage to brand spanking Chrysler Voyager a few years back. It had been in for some work doing, the workshop policy was that if the bonnet was up then you had to speak to the mechanic to see if it was drivable. If the bonnet was down it was ok to move. So it was blocking the ramp that I needed for a job. I jumped in, put it in R and tried to reverse off the ramp. To get over the central lump on the two post lift I had to give it a bit of gas. The car cleared the lump, and shot backwards. I stamped on the brakes and nothing. The mechanic had removed the brake pads from the front to match them up, and replaced the wheels and let it off the ramp. so it could be pushed out of the way if necessary. No note, no nothing.Before I could yank on the handbrake it took out the valeters hoover, and scraped all down the nearside on a bracket for workshop door lock.

[outlaw118]

Got another one of those emails today...this one is from Gordon Brown's office....10 DOWNING STREET,LONDON, SW1A 2AA.A.T.M. CARD PAYMENT UNITLONDON UK.RE: CODE NUMBER 811THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE BEEN MONITORING YOUR PAYMENT FOR A VERYLONG TIME AND AS AT TODAY , WE DISCOVERED THAT YOU WERE MISLEADED BY SOMEOFFICERS WHO TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU AS A RESULT OF DEMANDING ONE PAYMENTAFTER ANOTHER FROM YOU INSTEAD OF RELEASING YOUR FUND TO YOU. AT THEMOMENT , WE HAVE RECALLED BACK YOUR PAYMENT FILE TO THIS OFFICE SINCE LASTWEEK AND IT IS NOW ON MY DESK AS I AM WRITING THIS MESSAGE TO YOU .YOU ARE WARNED TO STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANYBODY IN RESPECT OFYOUR PAYMENT WITH EFFECT FROM TODAY IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDSUCCESSFULLY WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY . YOUR PAYMENT FILE IS RIGHT HERE WITHUS AND WE HAVE ARE SET TO COMPLETE YOUR PAYMENT IMMEDIATELY AS INSTRUCTEDBY PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN AND THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE, WHOHAS APPROVED THE SUM OF $1 BILLION DOLLARS ONLY, TO BE SHARED AMONG THEAFFECTED SCAM VICTIMS AROUND THE GLOBE.NOTE THAT WE HAVE BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT ($2,000.000.00) AS A PARTPAYMENT TO YOU FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009 . IF YOU WILL LIKE TO RECIEVEYOUR FUND THIS WEEK LET US KNOW IMMEDIATELY BY CONTACTING ME UPON THERECEIPT OF THIS MAIL WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION NAMES, ADDRESS, SEX,AGE, OCCUPATION AND YOUR PHONE NUMBER. WHILE WE ADVISE YOU TO STOP FURTHERCOMMUNICATION WITH ANYBODY WITH EFFECT FROM TODAY NO MATTER WHAT THEPERSON MIGHT CLAIM TO BE SO THAT YOU DONT LOST YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TOIMPOSTORS.WE HEREBY ISSUE YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (811) SO YOU HAVE TOINDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING US BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT BECAUSEOF IMPOSTORS.YOURS SINCERELY,MR. JAMES WILLIAMSFOREIGN DEBT SETTLEMENT COMMITTEE, UKWhy me??Leave me alone!!!

[trigger]

Your story Volksy reminds me of a story years ago when i was still doing bodywork.Central Tyres rang up asking us to collect a customers car they had just damaged.Upon arriving at the garage i saw a Blue Daewoo Espero in the car park with a completely wrenched round drivers door and folded back front wing.One of the young mechanics that had never driven a automatic before was driving of the ramp after a brake check or something and managed to hit the gas instead of the brakes and ripped the door almost off around on the post.It was great fun driving 10 miles back across town to the workshop with the door tided to the rear door frame with a bit of tow rope to stop it opening, Amazed i didn't get nicked for it TBH.

[Mash]

So apparently there's nowt wrong with my Accord, it just decided it didn't fancy going out this morning. Cheers for making me push you up the drive to get the Datty out of the garage ya b'stard.

[pogweasel]

Grump subject: The new BMW advert on the telly. I mean WTF. WTF!"We make joy" is the tag line. Bollocks. Have they gone mad??BMW do not make 'joy'. They make hard-seated austerity that goes fast, handles well and looks brutal. They make cars with bleak but perfectly spaced dashes. They charge extra for everything you expect to be standard. And above all they make cars that half the populace will signal to you that you are an onanist as you drive them. They don't make fluffy cutesy things full of joy. Sort it out!!

[pompei]

Queues. In the bank, the post office and Asda. Listen, you won't get served any quicker by shuffling up to me and standing so close I can feel your fetid breath on the back of my neck. Back off!

[Mash]

Queues. In the bank, the post office and Asda. Listen, you won't get served any quicker by shuffling up to me and standing so close I can feel your fetid breath on the back of my neck. Back off!

Yeah, stop trying to push your stuff onto the conveyor belt before mine's moved along. There's no room yet idiot, you'll be able to unload your trolley full of crap soon enough. Piling it on the metal bit on the end and trying to reach over for the divider is not making my supermarket experience any more tolerable, especially as I'm on my lunch hour and you've just got up.

[pogweasel]

Arnold Clark. Or perhaps more folk who buy cars from Arnold Clark and leave the sticker on. Most dealers make do with an internal sticker, maybe some discreet vinyl, or just a script on the number plates. Arnoild Clark slap a bright yellow external sticker on the cars arse, regardless of aesthetics, usually on the wonk. You wouldn't buy a pair of shoes and walk around with the tags on it, so why don't folk whip these offensive stickers off? Especially obnoxious when applied off-centre on dark couloured cars.

[pandamonium]

Yesterday, on the way home from work, I was travelling down a country lane, and encountered a Ford Galaxy driving at about 40mph. No problem to me of course - I'm not an impatient Audi driver. I settled down to 40, and kept my distance. I noticed that the vehicle in front, kept randomly wandering to the centre of the road, then being harshly corrected, and sometimes toward the nearside too. At one point I seriously considered telephonng the police to report a drunk driver! Anyway, it took 1.5 miles to get to a dual carriageway, and when I passed, it was a mother with several kids in the car. Was she texting? Were the kids playing up? Was the steering damaged so the car was difficult to drive? God only knows, but I was a little concerned that she might plow into something with all those kids in the car.Only a little mind!

[Milford Cubicle]

Arnold Clark. Or perhaps more folk who buy cars from Arnold Clark and leave the sticker on. Most dealers make do with an internal sticker, maybe some discreet vinyl, or just a script on the number plates. Arnoild Clark slap a bright yellow external sticker on the cars arse, regardless of aesthetics, usually on the wonk. You wouldn't buy a pair of shoes and walk around with the tags on it, so why don't folk whip these offensive stickers off? Especially obnoxious when applied off-centre on dark couloured cars.

Just as offensive are the LIDL stickers found on quite a few cars. I don't know what kind of brain wrongs would impel someone to plaster a window sticker from a budget, stinks of stale food German supermarket on to their car.

[Richard]

Our C5 came with a LIDL sticker. Squint. It's still there

[Mr H Sceptre]

Carveries.I dont want to eat a sunday dinner that has been sitting, drying out under bright lights all afternoon. Utter shite.Plus they attract pensioners.