The grumpy thread

[cort16]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

[cms206]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

 

Get your eyes tested Cort man, it's a Ferrari F40 not a fucking Piazza!

[nebuchenezer]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

 

I'm sure:

 

http://www.joemacari.com/All-Cars-for-Sale/_prod_Ferrari-F40_1196.htm

 

I got the price wrong though

[Matt]

This came in to the garage under the office today for an MOT:

 

 

So what is the grump?

 

The fact that I don't have £875,000 to buy one? 

 

No,

 

How in the name of F**k did these get to be 26 years old? Have I been in suspended animation for the last 15 years?

 

Grrrr I am officially old

 

I really doubt the owner of a genuine F40 would leave it those surroundings... I'm sure 100% of genuine F40's only go to garages that have spotless white tiled floors.

[nebuchenezer]

Such Surroundings????? Ooooh get you!

 

This is fackin Wandsworth Dahhhhhling!

[beko1987]

Got a call from swmbo at 4.45 saying her blood sugar is very high and shes waiting at the doctors to be seen. I could hear eva being loud in the background.

 

Get out of work (helps having a boss who has had 2 kids) and toe it home to the doctors (the steering goes really light and the clonking noises stop ay an indicated 105, modern drivers dont like being audi-d out the way by a 21yo battered shitroen)

 

Get to the docs within 20 minutes (a record in itself, dont tell plod) , ask the receptionist which room shes in and shes standimg behind me...

 

Been seen, got to check again in 4 hours and rest. Ffs. The one time i domt panic and rush will be the time something serious happens...

[chaseracer]

For the translated into englishness option please click here ****

 

I understood perfectly.  I was at SF2015.  I have been assimilated into the Borg SVM...

 

[beko1987]

I understand scottish alot easily now after sf! Which is handy as a scottish bird (fit) joined work the other month!

[Station]

0521 off Oban to Glasgow this morning for the railways, 0501 sign on time. Leave depot at 0200, arrive Oban at 0415 to have 45mins tacho break before the southbound leg. Phone control at 0501 to book on.

"Whit the fuck are ya doin' up at this time ya lunatic?" says controller Gus.

"At Oban for the 0521 for you cunts" says I.

"Whit fur? Train's runnin', away hame." says he. And the phone went down.

CUNTS.

 

"Dear Volvo affecianado, an enquiry shall thusly be made by myself, the duty manager, for the reasons attributed to why one has arisen n'er sunrise?"

"Consummating the locomotive perambulation betwixt the town of Oban and thus ultimately Glasgow"

"Now hear this, a per formation of a differing form of locomotion has been arranged, thou shall deliver oneself homeward God speed."

[Hendry]

"Dear Volvo affecianado, an enquiry shall thusly be made by myself, the duty manager, for the reasons attributed to why one has arisen n'er sunrise?"

"Consummating the locomotive perambulation betwixt the town of Oban and thus ultimately Glasgow"

"Now hear this, a per formation of a differing form of locomotion has been arranged, thou shall deliver oneself homeward God speed."

Hahaha pmsl, absolutely brilliant.

 

What isnt brilliant is Andys original post, thats just fucking balls mate, that's the type of calamity that would happen at my work as well.

[bub2006]

Lovely phone call about xsara from a bellend. Hi mate ypu got car? Yes says I. Would you take 250? No I'll take 300. Ok I'll leave in 10 mins,text address. I inform him car is on a friends drive a few miles from me. He says yes fine. I trundle off to xsara and wait. And wait. Half hour passes so I text asking if he on the way. Reply I receive? I've only got 200 pound. I send a text message to the effect of go forth and bother someone else

[anonymous user]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette  TR7?

 

 

Now come on, admit it you can't tell them apart

[fred]

Lovely phone call about xsara from a bellend. Hi mate ypu got car? Yes says I. Would you take 250? No I'll take 300. Ok I'll leave in 10 mins,text address. I inform him car is on a friends drive a few miles from me. He says yes fine. I trundle off to xsara and wait. And wait. Half hour passes so I text asking if he on the way. Reply I receive? I've only got 200 pound. I send a text message to the effect of go forth and bother someone else

Was Mike Brewer that mate

[bub2006]

Fucking bent nose knock knee fuck pig. Mind you I may be doing a deal on it but another car is no use to me so I'd still have to sell that. Corsa on a 03 plate. 1.2 I think it is with Halford wheel trims

[michael1703]

Got a call from swmbo at 4.45 saying her blood sugar is very high and shes waiting at the doctors to be seen. I could hear eva being loud in the background.

Get out of work (helps having a boss who has had 2 kids) and toe it home to the doctors (the steering goes really light and the clonking noises stop ay an indicated 105, modern drivers dont like being audi-d out the way by a 21yo battered shitroen)

Get to the docs within 20 minutes (a record in itself, dont tell plod) , ask the receptionist which room shes in and shes standimg behind me...

Been seen, got to check again in 4 hours and rest. Ffs. The one time i domt panic and rush will be the time something serious happens...

Was your missus having high blood sugar that big a deal that you drove 105mph in a 21year old battered Citroen?

 

More chance of you snuffing it than her today

[beko1987]

On reflection i realise this now. Did go bavk to normal mode off the mway, wasnt to be up anyones arse or taking corners too fast...

[beko1987]

Plus its french, was probably only doing 87...

[ruffgeezer]

The fucking rover's fucking alarm is fucking going off again, I thought I'd got the stupid fucking thing fixed by rewiring the boot lid, but no, it's got to be a bleepy little cunt at 11.30pm hasn't it.

 

Fuck raffling it, I'm going to chop it in at the weekend for something else.

[HH-R]

I think the bonnet open sensors often go tits up on these. Sometimes our 25's alarm just decided it was going to go off by hook or by crook when it was warm though. Used to leave it unlocked rather than wake the neighbours up, no one ever tried to steal it.

[HH-R]

Was Mike Brewer that mate

 

" 'old aaaaaaaht yer 'and"?

[bub2006]

No,he had a foreign accent.

[Station]

Mikhail Brewski?

[Noel Tidybeard]

iirc if you lock an rover with the key the alarm doesnt arm (friends dad used to lock dog in car whilst doing front garden)

[ruffgeezer]

Tried that but it's got a switch in the door thst arms the alarm.

[cms206]

Hahaha pmsl, absolutely brilliant.

 

What isnt brilliant is Andys original post, thats just fucking balls mate, that's the type of calamity that would happen at my work as well.

Guess who was dispatched to Oban this morning to cover the 0521 to Glasgow?

 

Yep, me.

 

Guess what was actually running, meaning I was out of bed at 1.30am to travel 110 miles each way again for no fucking reason?

 

Yep. Train operated as normal...

 

In getting diesel then a quick cross city 8-seater transfer at 9ish then home and off til Saturday.

[purplebargeken]

^^ Your bosses hate you.

[purplebargeken]

Am I really the only qualified person in the household re: clearing up cat hairballs?

[purplebargeken]

Attention neighbours....... I am not the fucking 'Car Whisperer'. 

[alf892]

The fucking rover's fucking alarm is fucking going off again, I thought I'd got the stupid fucking thing fixed by rewiring the boot lid, but no, it's got to be a bleepy little cunt at 11.30pm hasn't it.

 

Fuck raffling it, I'm going to chop it in at the weekend for something else.

Dunno if similar but happened with MrS Alfs Aldi...........its got a cat 1 alarm and one of the 'feautures is a self powered alarm sounder which has rechargeable batteries.

 

Once they cease to recharge the fucker goes beserk.

 

Expensive to replace so cured by amputation

[vulgalour]

For the fourth time I saw that spotless red Mk2 Cavalier today.  I had my phone camera this time and I was on foot so I was gonna get it, finally!  Then the screen on my phone just ate all the icons and wouldn't let me get to the phone until after the Cavalier had gone and couldn't be photographed.

 

I know I'm not imagining this car, other people have seen it too.