The grumpy thread

[purplebargeken]

For the translated into englishness option please click here ****

[dugong]

"I was most upset this morning; I was under the impression I was driving the rail replacement bus to Oban, but a full train service was already in operation. What twats they are."

[cms206]

"I was most upset this morning; I was under the impression I was driving the rail replacement bus to Oban, but a full train service was already in operation. What twats they are."

More or less. The grump was driving empty 110 miles at 2am to start a duty, then having to drive 110 miles empty back 'cos the bellends never told us they got a guard to operate the train yesterday afternoon.

[purplebargeken]

^^ that really qualifies  as a major grump. Fuckwits.

[Alan_Green]

You have my commiserations. I thought I was going to have the day off work* today but it was cancelled at the last minute. I had planned a picnic by the sea with the kids and instead I was called in at 5am with next to no notice!  Major grump.

 

*I'm a train guard in Oban.

[cms206]

You have my commiserations. I thought I was going to have the day off work* today but it was cancelled at the last minute. I had planned a picnic by the sea with the kids and instead I was called in at 5am with next to no notice! Major grump.

 

*I'm a train guard in Oban.

Had I known I'd have ranted IN YOUR FACE.

 

Not aimed at the guard... just control... as usual...

[Alan_Green]

You'll never believe this but my grandfather was a train guard based in Arrochar in the 1940's. True!

[cms206]

You'll never believe this but my grandfather was a train guard based in Arrochar in the 1940's. True!

 

They say it's a small world... if it's any consolation about four years ago I was tracing my family tree - I found out my great, great, great grandfather was a horse-drawn stagecoach driver from Houston, just down the road. At the time I was doing my family tree I did 6-days a week driving the bus which linked Paisley and Bridge of Weir... via Houston. To date it appears we were the only two people in the entire family involved in public transport.

[nebuchenezer]

This came in to the garage under the office today for an MOT:

 

 

So what is the grump?

 

The fact that I don't have £875,000 to buy one? 

 

No,

 

How in the name of F**k did these get to be 26 years old? Have I been in suspended animation for the last 15 years?

 

Grrrr I am officially old

[cort16]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

[cms206]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

 

Get your eyes tested Cort man, it's a Ferrari F40 not a fucking Piazza!

[nebuchenezer]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette?

 

I'm sure:

 

http://www.joemacari.com/All-Cars-for-Sale/_prod_Ferrari-F40_1196.htm

 

I got the price wrong though

[Matt]

This came in to the garage under the office today for an MOT:

 

 

So what is the grump?

 

The fact that I don't have £875,000 to buy one? 

 

No,

 

How in the name of F**k did these get to be 26 years old? Have I been in suspended animation for the last 15 years?

 

Grrrr I am officially old

 

I really doubt the owner of a genuine F40 would leave it those surroundings... I'm sure 100% of genuine F40's only go to garages that have spotless white tiled floors.

[nebuchenezer]

Such Surroundings????? Ooooh get you!

 

This is fackin Wandsworth Dahhhhhling!

[beko1987]

Got a call from swmbo at 4.45 saying her blood sugar is very high and shes waiting at the doctors to be seen. I could hear eva being loud in the background.

 

Get out of work (helps having a boss who has had 2 kids) and toe it home to the doctors (the steering goes really light and the clonking noises stop ay an indicated 105, modern drivers dont like being audi-d out the way by a 21yo battered shitroen)

 

Get to the docs within 20 minutes (a record in itself, dont tell plod) , ask the receptionist which room shes in and shes standimg behind me...

 

Been seen, got to check again in 4 hours and rest. Ffs. The one time i domt panic and rush will be the time something serious happens...

[chaseracer]

For the translated into englishness option please click here ****

 

I understood perfectly.  I was at SF2015.  I have been assimilated into the Borg SVM...

 

[beko1987]

I understand scottish alot easily now after sf! Which is handy as a scottish bird (fit) joined work the other month!

[Station]

0521 off Oban to Glasgow this morning for the railways, 0501 sign on time. Leave depot at 0200, arrive Oban at 0415 to have 45mins tacho break before the southbound leg. Phone control at 0501 to book on.

"Whit the fuck are ya doin' up at this time ya lunatic?" says controller Gus.

"At Oban for the 0521 for you cunts" says I.

"Whit fur? Train's runnin', away hame." says he. And the phone went down.

CUNTS.

 

"Dear Volvo affecianado, an enquiry shall thusly be made by myself, the duty manager, for the reasons attributed to why one has arisen n'er sunrise?"

"Consummating the locomotive perambulation betwixt the town of Oban and thus ultimately Glasgow"

"Now hear this, a per formation of a differing form of locomotion has been arranged, thou shall deliver oneself homeward God speed."

[Hendry]

"Dear Volvo affecianado, an enquiry shall thusly be made by myself, the duty manager, for the reasons attributed to why one has arisen n'er sunrise?"

"Consummating the locomotive perambulation betwixt the town of Oban and thus ultimately Glasgow"

"Now hear this, a per formation of a differing form of locomotion has been arranged, thou shall deliver oneself homeward God speed."

Hahaha pmsl, absolutely brilliant.

 

What isnt brilliant is Andys original post, thats just fucking balls mate, that's the type of calamity that would happen at my work as well.

[bub2006]

Lovely phone call about xsara from a bellend. Hi mate ypu got car? Yes says I. Would you take 250? No I'll take 300. Ok I'll leave in 10 mins,text address. I inform him car is on a friends drive a few miles from me. He says yes fine. I trundle off to xsara and wait. And wait. Half hour passes so I text asking if he on the way. Reply I receive? I've only got 200 pound. I send a text message to the effect of go forth and bother someone else

[anonymous user]

Are you sure it's not just a re bodied vauxhall chevette  TR7?

 

 

Now come on, admit it you can't tell them apart

[fred]

Lovely phone call about xsara from a bellend. Hi mate ypu got car? Yes says I. Would you take 250? No I'll take 300. Ok I'll leave in 10 mins,text address. I inform him car is on a friends drive a few miles from me. He says yes fine. I trundle off to xsara and wait. And wait. Half hour passes so I text asking if he on the way. Reply I receive? I've only got 200 pound. I send a text message to the effect of go forth and bother someone else

Was Mike Brewer that mate

[bub2006]

Fucking bent nose knock knee fuck pig. Mind you I may be doing a deal on it but another car is no use to me so I'd still have to sell that. Corsa on a 03 plate. 1.2 I think it is with Halford wheel trims

[michael1703]

Got a call from swmbo at 4.45 saying her blood sugar is very high and shes waiting at the doctors to be seen. I could hear eva being loud in the background.

Get out of work (helps having a boss who has had 2 kids) and toe it home to the doctors (the steering goes really light and the clonking noises stop ay an indicated 105, modern drivers dont like being audi-d out the way by a 21yo battered shitroen)

Get to the docs within 20 minutes (a record in itself, dont tell plod) , ask the receptionist which room shes in and shes standimg behind me...

Been seen, got to check again in 4 hours and rest. Ffs. The one time i domt panic and rush will be the time something serious happens...

Was your missus having high blood sugar that big a deal that you drove 105mph in a 21year old battered Citroen?

 

More chance of you snuffing it than her today

[beko1987]

On reflection i realise this now. Did go bavk to normal mode off the mway, wasnt to be up anyones arse or taking corners too fast...

[beko1987]

Plus its french, was probably only doing 87...

[ruffgeezer]

The fucking rover's fucking alarm is fucking going off again, I thought I'd got the stupid fucking thing fixed by rewiring the boot lid, but no, it's got to be a bleepy little cunt at 11.30pm hasn't it.

 

Fuck raffling it, I'm going to chop it in at the weekend for something else.

[HH-R]

I think the bonnet open sensors often go tits up on these. Sometimes our 25's alarm just decided it was going to go off by hook or by crook when it was warm though. Used to leave it unlocked rather than wake the neighbours up, no one ever tried to steal it.

[HH-R]

Was Mike Brewer that mate

 

" 'old aaaaaaaht yer 'and"?

[bub2006]

No,he had a foreign accent.