The grumpy thread

[r.welfare]

^^^ LOL. Best thing about Bo' Selecta was that inspired Porridge rip.The local paper's website is already reporting that all of Newbury's record shops have run out of MJ's CDs...

[ashmicro]

Saturday I get a letter from some shitty debt collection company in Stockport

It's not Moorcroft by any chance is it? They are a right old shower that lot.

The very same. I paid it by phone on Saturday, but have fired off letters of complaint to O2, OFFCOM and for what its worth Moorcroft. Have a feeling I should have told them to get bent, but TBH at the moment I dont want any hassle at all in my life.

A mobile phone network did the same thing to me, even though my bill was paid in full, and I had paperwork to prove so.I just waited until the no-neck brigade came to the door, showed them my invoice, and told them"get the fuck off my property or I'll set the dog on you while I fetch my rifle"They did clear off too, no comebacks either from them or the peelers. I'm 5 foot 9 and built like a shower curtain, so these big sods probably thought I was some sort of dangerous nutter.

[Richard]

TV/Radio producers-we get the message Jacko has died. Can we get back to normal programmes/news now?.

Jacko has died? They kept that quiet! They haven't arsed around with the schedules for it have they?

[FredTransit]

'Unscheduled' Jacko special on right now on ITV3.....

[Guest]

I just hope we dont get the same fuss when that other kiddie diddler freak Gary Glitter dies

[Guest]

I just hope we dont get the same fuss when that other kiddie diddler freak Gary Glitter dies

[trigger]

It's alright, After MJ's death, Gary Glitter has offered to cover some of his dates, Jack aged 12, Henry aged 7 and Paul aged 10.I'll get my coat...

[155V6]

And there was me,thinking of posting something about Garry Glitter yesterday,but deciding against it in case people thought it was in bad taste

[trigger]

I was as well but thought sod it!, I got 100's of texts yesterday at work, Most would get me shot if i posted them here though.

[Mr Lobster]

House buyers. When you go and look at the house someone is selling, please could you not make yourself seem very keen, say to the vendor that you'll definately be wanting another look, say to the estate agent that you really like the house and you want a second viewing and then go silent and not actually [yet at least] bother with that second viewing because ITS PISSING ME RIGHT OFF.Thanks.

[AXrescuer]

I believe in karma so won't ever speak ill of the dead. Don't think you can compare GG and MJ to be honest, I'm sure that MJ really thought that just sharing a bed with a kid was entirely innocent. Mentally, he was no more than a kid himself. GG on the other hand is a predator and is willing to perform the 'act' which is much more sinister.

[pompei]

You beat me to it Sir Tainly! I've just answered one now and we're ex directory etc. GRRR

[scooters]

And another thing ......Today's rant is these bloody annoying recorded telephone messages, you know the one, phone rings in the middle of my dinner, instead of ignoring it like I know I should I put the glass down and go to answer it (qustion to self, why do I leave the cordless phone in the hall rather than by my chair?)Me "Hello" Recording starts "How would you like to take part in a government backed scheme that could write off up to 70% of your debts" I never find out what it says next as by then I have told them to go forth and multiply. It pisses me off to think that my taxes are going towards paying off someone else's debt that they built up by being stupid and/or greedy. When I was stupid enough to owe money and then have a big pay cut I struggled and paid it off and vowed never to borrow money again. Is this scheme designed to make peole rush out and borrow what they can't/won't pay back and then ask to have it written off?Where do they get my number? I'm ex-directory and signed up with the telephone preference people I don't want cold calls, particularly recorded ones offering holidays, debt counselling etc. From now on I'm not answering the phone unless I know who it is.

AYE!

[Mike D]

Sunburn can go and ram it..... Yeah, I should have used sunblock, but i was drunk and forgot. Ow!

[Mash]

And another thing ......Today's rant is these bloody annoying recorded telephone messages, you know the one, phone rings in the middle of my dinner, instead of ignoring it like I know I should I put the glass down and go to answer it (qustion to self, why do I leave the cordless phone in the hall rather than by my chair?)Me "Hello" Recording starts "How would you like to take part in a government backed scheme that could write off up to 70% of your debts" I never find out what it says next as by then I have told them to go forth and multiply. It pisses me off to think that my taxes are going towards paying off someone else's debt that they built up by being stupid and/or greedy. When I was stupid enough to owe money and then have a big pay cut I struggled and paid it off and vowed never to borrow money again. Is this scheme designed to make people rush out and borrow what they can't/won't pay back and then ask to have it written off?Where do they get my number? I'm ex-directory and signed up with the telephone preference people I don't want cold calls, particularly recorded ones offering holidays, debt counselling etc. From now on I'm not answering the phone unless I know who it is.

Boils my piss I got one tonight but it was an actual person (well an actual moron anyway)."Is Mr. Fotherington-Smythe at home?""No he moved out 6 years ago""Ah. Well perhaps I could help you instead""Doubtful"There followed some blurb about saving me money and how they were a finance company but weren't offering finance in fact. After I'd fobbed him off as politely as possible and telling him there was nothing I wanted from them he started going on about being a good singer and he could sing to me for some bizarre reason I called him a tit and put the phone down.OK I know I should have called his bluff but I have slightly better things to occupy my time.Like rant about it on an eccentric car forum

[dollywobbler]

I just hang up on them now. Feel a bit mean, because they are human and, usually, horribly exploited.But still, piss off, I'm busy!

[Father Ted]

Im just perverse.Double glazing, Dolphin Bathrooms etc etc, i tell em "lovely, oh yes I would like that - let me give you my landlords number....." They usually hang up at that point.Finance and credit /store cards get the same rapt interest and encouraging "oh great" noises from me before saying "so it doesnt matter that I was declared bankrupt 6 months ago does it?"

[Pillock]

T-shitting-Mobile. They can suck my wang, if they think I'm renewing my contract now they're having a giraffe.Had a call from an 0845 number today. Answered it, nothing. Three seconds of silence then it hung up. that was half past 1.Five past two, half past two, quarter past three and twenty past three - same thing from the same number.Googled the number and there's hundreds of pages with people moaning that it's T-Mobile Sales, and they have the same complaint - silent calls.Half four and it happens again so I answer the phone with "What do you want, cuntface?". Just on the offchance that there's someone there but no, silence.So I rang T-Mobile and explained that I didn't want them phone spamming me. Told them which number is was... "Oh, that's not a T-mobile number sir". So, dearie, explain why if I ring it back, I get a recorded message saying "You have been called by T-Mobile but there is no need to worry, we will call back soon". So it's not T-Mobile is it? Really? And the best she can do is put notes on my account not to call with marketing offers, which I'm sure they'll read before spamming me tomorrow.So yeah, when my contract comes up they can whistle Hammertime out of their arse before I renew.

[AXrescuer]

Get yourself on the telephone preference service list After a while, all these calls will stop.

 

http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/

[Guest]

Several annoyances.

 

Mainly with closing times.

 

Why, when the advertised closing time for la farmacia in Tescos is '8PM', is it shut at 7:51, when I really fucking need my prescription to stop my ears feeling like someone's ramming a skewer through the side of my head?

 

'Well, I make it 8, and therefore we're shut'.

 

No love, fuck off, I set my watch on the GMT signal and it's ten to fucking eight. I really wish I could do that in my job. I never, ever, ever get to go bang on the dot when I'm supposedly rota'd into to finish.

 

I can imagine it now.

 

'Oh yeah, sorry disgruntled idiot bint from Tunbridge Wells, I don't give a fuck about what you're doing, I make it 8 so I'm fucking off home.

 

Fucking shitting useless bastard workshy pharmacists.

 

You can 'not be put out by my piss' when set on fire in my revolution as well.

 

 

 

As can the idiot bint in the BMW in Hale who decides it's okay to stop in the middle of Ashley Road, chat to her mate at the side of the road and then drive straight across the pelican crossing when it's on a green man.

 

I stand there and give a 'what the fuck' gesture, only to be chided by her idiot friend. 'There's no need to be like that' she says.

 

'Er, yes there fucking is' I say, 'What the fuck gives her the right to go across the crossing when it's on a green man? My right of way you stupid arse'.

 

At this point she's got a face like a smacked arse. 'Well', she opines, 'That's a fine attitude to have isn't it?'. 'Better than being fucking ignorant.' I retort, and walk off.

 

I must remember that one. FUCK OFF YOU TWATS, I HAVE A 328 COUPE THEREFORE I CAN DRIVE ACROSS PELICAN CROSSINGS MAKING PEOPLE JUMP OUT OF THE WAY. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU IMPEDE MY PROGRESS?

 

She can fuck off as well, the fucking bitch.

 

Also, my mate has a problem with the wheelbearing on his Octavia. Mainly because he smashes it up and down kerbs like a bellend.

 

It has 33k on the clock. He rings the dealer.

 

'Wheelbearings making a noise. Can you have a look?'

 

'No worries Mr Jones, we'll pick it up from home and sort it under warranty'.

 

WHAT THE FUCK? Just like that?

 

Fuck me, I bought the wrong car.

 

All I got when I had trouble with the C4 was essentially 'wear and tear, you drive the car too hard, fuck off, there's the door, we're not looking at it, stop wasting our time'.

 

Citroen UK can go down in a ball of fucking flame if that's their idea of customer service. I couldn't believe it. Wankers.

[michiel]

I tried to read that out loud, but all the bleeps made the dog go mad.

[Guest]

I tried to read that out loud, but all the bleeps made the dog go mad.

I can do an audio book version for you if you like. Mind you, doggerel Manc combined with my highly advanced level of swearing does not make for easy listening.

[michiel]

[Father Ted]

Hmmm, that ear of yours is really boiling your piss and making life not a bed of roses isnt it?March back to your GP / Walk in Centre and demand some DF118's - they WILL make you dopey as fuck, but will also sort the pain.Actually - how many days you been on the AB's now? they should be making some sort of dent surely? If its been 3 days and its still as bad get a swab taken.Oh and of fuck all use to you now - Pomfret's chemist on Sharoe Green Lane is open till 11pm, and Whitworths Bloomfield Rd do a drive through till 1am. Not in Manc though - but I guess there will be one somewhere near Wythenshawe that has extended opening hours as the hospital pharmacy wont dispense on green scripts.

[Guest]

Hmmm, that ear of yours is really boiling your piss and making life not a bed of roses isnt it?

 

March back to your GP / Walk in Centre and demand some DF118's - they WILL make you dopey as fuck, but will also sort the pain.

I'd love to kip in actually Ted - it might make me less fucking psychotic - but I can't have any more time off work.

 

That last bout of gravel shitting gasterentotis that wrecked my holiday pushed me over the trigger for 'number of days off' under the new 'Aggressive Attendance Policy' horseshit bollocks because I self certified my recovery time rather than getting a sick note, so now this new illness is eating into my holidays. That said, they demanded at work that I went home - on Tuesday I had a bit of a weird reaction to the codeine as I broke out in a cold sweat and turned white.

 

In other news, I borrowed my mate Mr. Jones' Handicam, so that if I'm up to it I can go and film some ker - azy NSJC hi jinks at the Retro Show at Santa Pod (funds also needed).

 

It's one of those new 'uns that uses a Sony MagiGate stick to store the rushes on.

 

I really shouldn't have looked at what was taking up half the memory in playback mode. Why the fuck can't my ex be like that when you go to a hotel? Not sure I'd film it, but still. Stroppy bitch.

[Father Ted]

Why the fuck can't my ex be like that when you go to a hotel? Not sure I'd film it, but still. Stroppy bitch.

I've never had an ex like that

 

We to have this lovely sick policy now where we have to call a call centre in India to report sickness, they put you through to a "nurse" and you describe your illness and then they give you a return date when you will be better. Utter crap. The "nurses" know bugger all, so when I tried explaining I was off for an ultrasound and ECG last week because I have NASH and a prolonged S-T complex i had to patinetly explain that whilst my liver is fooked I was only off work for a day due to that being when they couldd shoehorn all the tests in in one go - the mad woman was trying to tell me I would be off a week - yet whan I fooked my arm up last year (still not right) they told me I would be back in work within a fortnight!

[Guest]

Why the fuck can't my ex be like that when you go to a hotel? Not sure I'd film it, but still. Stroppy bitch.

I've never had an ex like that

 

We to have this lovely sick policy now where we have to call a call centre in India to report sickness, they put you through to a "nurse" and you describe your illness and then they give you a return date when you will be better. Utter crap. The "nurses" know bugger all, so when I tried explaining I was off for an ultrasound and ECG last week because I have NASH and a prolonged S-T complex i had to patinetly explain that whilst my liver is fooked I was only off work for a day due to that being when they couldd shoehorn all the tests in in one go - the mad woman was trying to tell me I would be off a week - yet whan I fooked my arm up last year (still not right) they told me I would be back in work within a fortnight!

Fucking hell Ted, that's awful.

 

Our rotas are done in India. Even when there's enough cover, you put in for day off only to be told there's 'no availability'. There were so many HR grievances that we actually started working out the rotas according to PaRCs own systems and challenging them whenever they did a 'computer says no', which is all the time.

 

Of course then they threw a hissy fit because they then couldn't fucking lord it over us. They claimed we had 'no right to challenge what they did'. My manager ended up having a quiet word with me when he heard I was going to ring up the supervisor and tell him to shove his 'no availability' up his collective arse.

 

I don't what's worse, arguing with Indians or being told by mongoloid customers that 'I'm not talking to you, you're in India'.

 

Well, actually, I don't want to talk to some pig shit thick stroppy cow from Kensington especially when three other people have explained the problem to you perfectly well, but then I suppose that's a occupational hazard

[Father Ted]

Fucking hell Ted, that's awful.

Call centres generally are. Even if you try my trick of talking Welsh till they put you through to Cardiff (then talking English), they are still bloody awful. And dont get me started on Orange broadband or Virgin chuffing media which keeps conking out whenever it rains.

[Guest]

Fucking hell Ted, that's awful.

Call centres generally are. Even if you try my trick of talking Welsh till they put you through to Cardiff (then talking English), they are still bloody awful. And dont get me started on Orange broadband or Virgin chuffing media which keeps conking out whenever it rains.

Well, if you ever buy something off Marks & Spencer Online, and you want to speak to someone during the week between 4 and 5 PM, there's a 1 in 100 chance you'll get me, because although we're not telephony, we normally have to support because my BPO employer are tight cunts and won't pay for more phone people Except I can't take calls because my ears are fucked and I can't wear a headset. Mainly because it canes and because I can't hear much.You probably will want to complain about M&S Online deliveries because they use HDN who are shit. Our flowers are nicknamed 'Flowers By Bin' internally because that's where the majority of them end up, i.e. 'in a secure location'.I tend to do as much back office as I can, so that I don't have to do the phones. I was on a team that was entirely back office, but I got taken off that team because of 'downsizing' and for 'reasons we don't have to explain'.Or you might get put through to Inverness, who are lying, incompetant arseholes. Often we get irate customers screaming down the phone because of what our Scottish phone staff have told them. Normally it's completely fixable and they just don't want to take their finger out of their arses and solve the problem.

[FredTransit]

T-shitting-Mobile. They can suck my wang, if they think I'm renewing my contract now they're having a giraffe.Had a call from an 0845 number today. Answered it, nothing. Three seconds of silence then it hung up. that was half past 1.Five past two, half past two, quarter past three and twenty past three - same thing from the same number.Googled the number and there's hundreds of pages with people moaning that it's T-Mobile Sales, and they have the same complaint - silent calls.Half four and it happens again so I answer the phone with "What do you want, cuntface?". Just on the offchance that there's someone there but no, silence.So I rang T-Mobile and explained that I didn't want them phone spamming me. Told them which number is was... "Oh, that's not a T-mobile number sir". So, dearie, explain why if I ring it back, I get a recorded message saying "You have been called by T-Mobile but there is no need to worry, we will call back soon". So it's not T-Mobile is it? Really? And the best she can do is put notes on my account not to call with marketing offers, which I'm sure they'll read before spamming me tomorrow.So yeah, when my contract comes up they can whistle Hammertime out of their arse before I renew.

DON'T GET ME ON T FOOKIN MOBILE! MY every conversation with them ends in my telling them as soon as I can leave them, I will! BTW I have had those calls too.