The grumpy thread

[trigger]

Ah, is that who you are? Thought so! You do not appear to be my friend. Would you like to be my friend?!

I'll be your friend!, I'm one of the last to comment on the AS group page.I brought some wanky air cooler unit last year from Argoose for £60 for my bedroom, You put water in the bottom and some converyer belt moves the water up and a fan blows it out, What a crook of shit, It's so loud i couldn't sleep and doesn't work anyway.Taking it down the boot sale on Sunday instead!.

[vicsmith]

And the sad thing is, Hirst, the type of crisps and pies you get tend to be "not nice". Mind you, you`re hardly doing yourself out of an air-con unit, if you totted up all the money you spent on mud pasties and unheard of spurious-brand crisps over the last 10 years it`d probably come to about £15, and you`re not going to get a lot for that are you?

[gallondrunk]

.

[Guest]

Pretend Pringles? Sounds interesting, which pound shop was it? I got a load of weird Chinese cracker and dip things sometime ago for something like 15p each. Top work China! Never mind the human rights thing, just keep knocking up delicious snacks.Anyway Vic, you're the other extreme with your fancy-schmancy tastes - last time you went into a newsagents you kicked off because they didn't have any truffles or smoked salmon. And "Watt" is going on with that avatar?

[Pete-M]

Mmmmm, aircon....I drove the Golf today, first thing I've driven in quite some time which hasn't had AC. Sunroof open, windows down, fan on '2' blowing slightly lukewarm air at me. Loads of buffeting and wind noise. Took me right back to the 1980s.After parking the Golf back up I got in the Volvo. Windows up, sunroof closed, tunes on quietly, climate set to 22 deg fully auto. Airconditioning rocketh mightily. It is the greatest thing since cheese on toast. It's the wasps ear-lobes, the bluebottles ankle, it is the bees proverbials. I will never, ever understand people who have AC and don't use it because it costs about a quid every hundred miles or so. It's the best quid you'll ever spend in a car. Not using AC costs more in my mind as eventually the system fucks up through lack of use and the car is worth less than one with working AC. First thing I check when I'm buying a car is the AC, if the AC doesn't work then I'm a lot less likely to buy it.Heh, one tip, NEVER buy an Alfa 164 which doesn't have working AC. Alfa, in their infinate wisdom appear to have designed the system so that when the AC breaks you get constantly roasting hot air instead. Not ambient air, but air that has been superheated by the heater matrix. One of mine dumped its gas in July, in Italy, and near fried me. Got the gas leak sorted and all was back to normal.

[gallondrunk]

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[500tops]

Ah, is that who you are? Thought so!

 

You do not appear to be my friend. Would you like to be my friend?

quote]

 

i certainly used to be your 'friend', then i wasn't. very strange.

[Father Ted]

Ah, is that who you are? Thought so! You do not appear to be my friend. Would you like to be my friend?quote]i certainly used to be your 'friend', then i wasn't. very strange.

You see this is why facebook is so dangerous. You hear of people running off to shag old long lost school friends and then people fall out ovee the im not your friend any more. Like what norman lovett did to me. He was my friend, then he blocked me. Now i just want to hurt people, very badly....

[dollywobbler]

Yeah, you're right Ted. Gets a bit daft really! I 'killed' loads of friends recently as I realised that there were quite a lot that I didn't actually know at all - I'm running a "I'll be your friend only if I've actually met you in real life" rule now.

[FredTransit]

IIRC I don't think that's how chavbook/faceache is supposed to work, you are supposed to collect online 'friends' like stamps. I know, I don't get it either.....In fact I don't get these 'social networking' sites generally. And what REALLY does me head in is twitter. Why would a total stranger want to know if I have put the rubbish out or whatever?

[500tops]

Yeah, you're right Ted. Gets a bit daft really! I 'killed' loads of friends recently as I realised that there were quite a lot that I didn't actually know at all

you do know me.

[dollywobbler]

I know.

[500tops]

did you bin me off accidently?

[Pillock]

No, he just wants to talk about you behind your back ;)I had a Facebook clearout, binned off loads of folk from work that I hardly acknowledge in real life let alone want them sending me stupid stupid applications. Also chucked anyone who hasn't spoken to me for two years. Annoyingly I found I needed to contact two of the non-work folk that I jettisoned, but was too embarassed to re-add them as friends as then it becomes obvious

[pogweasel]

Can't be arsed with Air-Con. Mrs_Pog loves it. I cannot fathom why. Makes me feel sick nasty nasty conditioned air. And it seems to add unneccesarily to the fuel burden - what is the point of a fuel efficient car only to see the advantage piss off when you turn the cold air on? I shall continue to sing the praises of the tilt/slide sunroof, tilt it up, lovely cool air. Simples. Doesn't cane the fuel either. Though doubtless you will argue me on that, though today we drove back from seaside in separate cars - guess who used less fuel? Me in my 17 year old pez-guzzler with the roof open or her in her newish dizzle air-con machine? And faecebook can still get to fuck. I don't care. Don't want to know. I AM A MISERABLE MISANTHROPE. GET OVER IT. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY. NOW PISS OFF.

[dollywobbler]

Aircon is a good/bad thing. The one in MINIs really dries out my sinuses. Hate it. The Alfas is very unobtrusive and just nice when you need it - though I'm also a big fan of the tilting sunroof. Shame the Alfas is steel, so it doesn't let much light in.

[r.welfare]

Huh - when you've got a dark-coloured car with buggered A/C and no sunroof, working A/C would be very nice, thankyouverymuch - my outside temperature gauge was registering 36C today, but I think that's because it's buggered (it is a 16-year-old Pug after all).I like steel sunroofs personally, they look better than a glass job IMHO. And what the hell is the point of these panoramic roofs (like wot Welfare Snr's Qashqai has) that you can't open?

[pogweasel]

And what the hell is the point of these panoramic roofs that you can't open?

Probably not too much fun if you are of the hair-loss baldy-man persuasion*runs fingers through thick full head of hair with no signs of thinning*

[Guest]

None of my cars have a sunroof and I insist on driving around wearing a suit jacket because it makes me feel important. Summer isn't a lot of fun.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

And what the hell is the point of these panoramic roofs that you can't open?

Probably not too much fun if you are of the hair-loss baldy-man persuasion*runs fingers through thick full head of hair with no signs of thinning*

Yeah this can be a problem, just paint out the relevant section of panoramic roof with some 'Snowcem' thick white gloop, SORTED.

[pogweasel]

 

Yeah this can be a problem, just paint out the relevant section of panoramic roof with some 'Snowcem' thick white gloop, SORTED.

alternatively:

 

Mr_Bo11ox, yesterday:

I loves me panoramic roof. I loves the feelin' of the sun on me thick hairs. I do I do I do.

[Father Ted]

Went to Knowsley Safari Park today, paid £21 to be spat at by a camel, munched on by a fookin antelope or something, so when the wife and kids demanded we drive through the monkey enclosure I knew what was coming.... Fortunatly I managed to get the little twat that decided to eat the rear washer jet on the Zafira - a combination of washer, wiper and lobbng some apples at it soon had it spread eagled on the deck, the one on the roof was dealt with by a cunning emergency stop - slithered down the windscreen and bonnet. Next time Im gonna cram everyone in the fugging Micra and let the little bastads eat the lot.

[dollywobbler]

Went to Knowsley Safari Park today, paid £21 to be spat at by a camel, munched on by a fookin antelope or something, so when the wife and kids demanded we drive through the monkey enclosure I knew what was coming.... Fortunatly I managed to get the little twat that decided to eat the rear washer jet on the Zafira - a combination of washer, wiper and lobbng some apples at it soon had it spread eagled on the deck, the one on the roof was dealt with by a cunning emergency stop - slithered down the windscreen and bonnet. Next time Im gonna cram everyone in the fugging Micra and let the little bastads eat the lot.

lol! Monkey abuse FTW!

[Mash]

Went to Knowsley Safari Park today, paid £21 to be spat at by a camel, munched on by a fookin antelope or something, so when the wife and kids demanded we drive through the monkey enclosure I knew what was coming.... Fortunatly I managed to get the little twat that decided to eat the rear washer jet on the Zafira - a combination of washer, wiper and lobbng some apples at it soon had it spread eagled on the deck, the one on the roof was dealt with by a cunning emergency stop - slithered down the windscreen and bonnet. Next time Im gonna cram everyone in the fugging Micra and let the little bastads eat the lot.

LOL indeed! Get the little bastards, every one of 'em.I hate monkeys.I've been using air-con in a hired Focus these last few days and I must admit I likes it but I feel a bit of a traitor to the Autoshite way... Having said that I suppose I could get it working on the Accord which would be best of both worlds. Just in time for winter knowing me I have about a dozen friends on Facebook - people who are relevant to me. One of my friends has about 400 on hers - who the hell are all these people???

[pogweasel]

^whs^I've got a shitty Renault Kangoo thing for work now, and aside from it's inherent wobbly dreadfulness, some of the 'clever' stuff is just bollocks. Like the mileage display switching off with the ignition, and then not coming back on for another 5 minutes when yo uturn it back on. That's wank, esp when trying to keep a track of business/personal miles. Also, who decided that electric windows would be luxurious, but then opted to put the switches inside the door pockets wants shooting. Add in a wiper stalk that works the wrong way round to every other car ever and various bongs and lights that seems pointless and meaningless and it's all a bit of a faff. Oh and I've already broken the ashtray beyond repair. CAK.

[dollywobbler]

Why does my car think it knows better, or, why do manufacturers stick "clever" stuff on a simple car?I recently bought a new Panda and I'm quite happy with it, it does the job 50+mpg, 7000 miles in 4 months, but a few things irritate me. If the front wipers are on and I put it in reverse the back wiper starts up, whether I want it to or not. If I have the front wipers on and switch the back one on while in a forward gear it won't start straight away but waits for the front ones to begin an arc. If I switch it on I want it on straightaway, not when it feels like it. Same with lights, you can't have the headlights on with the ignition off and why does the interior light have to come on when I take the key out, why does the mileage display go out straight away when you switch the ignition off, but come back on when you open the door. It's all very clever and someone has obviously thought that this is what a buyer wants. I don't, I want switches that make and break circuits like they used to not a load of clever stuff that will probably go wrong. In fact I'd swap all this clever stuff for a keyhole on the passenger door. While I'm at it I'd like to thank Mandy for devaluing it by another £1k even quicker thanks to "scrappage"

Good rant sir! Frankly, self cancelling indicators do my nut. 2CVs let you do it yourself (when the stalk hasn't fallen off...) and I seem to be quite able to turn them off myself.Some modern cars seem to prevent your turning the headlamps OFF when its dark. NOT GR8 for sneaking up on deer. GR8 4 getting told off on the chunnel train because headlights can apparently set off the fire alarms...New MINI - turn the engine off, no mileage display. Great for when you're filling in a mileage sheet. It won't let you start the engine unless you press the clutch down. If the engine is running, you pull the door handle and nothing happens. You have to pull it TWICE to get out. It's the car equivalent of 'Are you sure you wish to terminate this application?' and just as fucking annoying. I mean, do the airbags ask you if you're sure?!I even hate wipers that come on with the washers. GR8 for smearing shite all over your windscreen when the jets are frozen solid! To be honest, electric washer pumps are OTT. The push squeegee in the 2CV is fine and allows me to 'feel' how frozen the washer fluid is.On the Alfa, you can only open the boot with a key or with the button on the centre console. Not gr8 for shopping.

[155V6]

My MG does the rear wiper thing,couldn't work out what was going on at 1st .My Sprinter at work does the thing with the mileage display,don't get that one.The headlight one seems to be something Italian cars do,all the ones I've known need the key even for the sidelights.

[seth]

Why does my car think it knows better, or, why do manufacturers stick "clever" stuff on a simple car?

I recently bought a new Panda and I'm quite happy with it, it does the job 50+mpg, 7000 miles in 4 months, but a few things irritate me. If the front wipers are on and I put it in reverse the back wiper starts up, whether I want it to or not. If I have the front wipers on and switch the back one on while in a forward gear it won't start straight away but waits for the front ones to begin an arc. If I switch it on I want it on straightaway, not when it feels like it. Same with lights, you can't have the headlights on with the ignition off and why does the interior light have to come on when I take the key out, why does the mileage display go out straight away when you switch the ignition off, but come back on when you open the door. It's all very clever and someone has obviously thought that this is what a buyer wants. I don't, I want switches that make and break circuits like they used to not a load of clever stuff that will probably go wrong. In fact I'd swap all this clever stuff for a keyhole on the passenger door. While I'm at it I'd like to thank Mandy for devaluing it by another £1k even quicker thanks to "scrappage"

Another one in full support of this /\ I detest the unnecessary technology in modern cars. The more gizmos there are on the dash the more time I find myself fiddling with/looking at them, perhaps to make me feel that its worth them being there.

[gallondrunk]

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[Father Ted]

B.B.Q. last night - thang a mare. discovered at 10 minutes past 5 that my gas cylinder had been left on and gas had eeeked away - no gas left. Mad dash to find gas - camping place accross the road closed, one further out of vilage closed, camp site has no propane Calor cylinders, B&Q have none at all, garage have only patio gas & Shellgas - but no regulators - fucking useless, Homebase also have Patio gas, but no regulators... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. More mad dash accross parts of Leyland in the Micra with lots of angry heelspinning and burnng of rubber - pointless, but kinda made me feel better.All the while thinking about dad who gets knackered out these days very quickly, and who is not having a good day today. And who is waiting for food ith his little pot of American Mustard....Bought cheapest BBQ ever and big bag of instant light briquets. Today I shall buy not only a refil for my cylinder, but a spare one too.