Bear's bangers: See an elephant fly! Get an eyeful of shit as a reward!

[bangernomics]

I am in France.

[Bear]

13 hours ago, bangernomics said:

If you can get it to me before next Tuesday and its not huge Mrs B is off to the UK to pick the grandkids up and could then do onwards post.

Thankyou - Audi Tradition shop is not that quick to deal with unfortunately 😕

[bangernomics]

Thankyou - Audi Tradition shop is not that quick to deal with unfortunately

Then I am back in mid sept so could bring it then if it aligns for you.

[Bear]

7 hours ago, bangernomics said:

Then I am back in mid sept so could bring it then if it aligns for you.

That may well work out - I will check shipping and parts still being available - if I remember right nothing I'd got was big, some coil spring plates, reinforcement metal for the rear valence, a throttle cable and some accessory plate surrounds... thankyou

[bangernomics]

Think easyjet handluggage that will have a laptop in it and nothing else.

[Bear]

Apparently we need a drying rack

That is not a respectful use of a one-of-six prototype trike...

But I wanted to rinse this off

Roof is looking good - I didn't need to adjust it  the driver's door window is too high after I changed the regulator.

Maximum German

I still like this shape most of all, rhe rear wing:bootlid profile

Back in the garage to adjust the window, I hate doing it because you have to unplug an airbag.

(No, you can do it through the access holes underneath!)

 

[High Jetter]

37 minutes ago, Bear said:

Apparently we need a drying rack

Not there, though - additional moisture not needed in garage car storage rooms.

[Bear]

That'll do

 

[Bear]

Quick tweak of the tension adjusters (it's still not quite Porsche-perfect, the roof catch catches the wind deflector if it's fitted causing the handle to drop from the flat open position) and the closed roof looks spot on with windows pretty damn close to factory spec.

[yes oui si]

On 17/07/2025 at 18:05, Bear said:

 

It's such a handsome car, that one 😍

The coloured tint on the glass makes it. 

[Bear]

20 hours ago, yes oui si said:

It's such a handsome car, that one 😍

The coloured tint on the glass makes it. 

I may end up having to sell it at this rate. Stupid capitalism.

Trying not to think about that - get what is supposed to be my daily driver in the garage to check the ABS sensor/plug and take the wheel for a slow puncture repair. I think it's had it a while since there was a patch of "bleed" sticky goop and I definitely haven't used sealant on it.

Of course that means the Porsche gets fresh air...

Such a nice profile

And overcast daylight - maybe I can capture the interior looking "natural"

Not too bad...

I gave the door card a little bit of cleaning, not much, when adjusting the window

Looking ready to go, but two things to deal with

I'll get the Ampera sorted first. So while I deleted the ad because there was no point leaving it up when my panic/deadline moment passed without it getting sorted, I'll still sell at that price if I haven't ordered tyres.

[Bear]

AVAS

The Ampera falls into the box of cars where I like the car, but not the build quality or bodges - I really wish I'd refreshed my data on Ampera prices and aging, since I'm just not used to rusty cars less than 15 years old now.

A couple of weeks in it revealed a slow puncture and an ABS warning. Now I'm going to have a go at sorting them, I'm seeing what a sad, miserable example it is - though I think when I advertised it for sale to try and buy a nicer low mileage one, the comments from others who had viewed it before me with probably more sensible car-buying eyes, may not be helping my mood with it.

I have no idea what half the fasteners here were or are, since they're just fused rust. Half of it wasn't even put together properly anyway, but enough is holding in place to stop me removing the arch to get at this:

From underneath the ABS wire seems to be held by artfully-sculpted rust. I have found the connector to see it and verify what kind of sensor to order - if the fault is being correctly reported (and they are cheap at least) but that liner needs to come off and I think I'll have to drill the screws out.

The error does seem to be circuit rather than sensing related, but the amount of rust would not surprise me if the tonewheels were tone deaf. And if the fault is up the cable, damn, there is no room in there to get to the loom.

On the upside this does mean I'll fix the undertrays using consistent and correct - and new, instead of just missing - fasteners.

I'm going to run this into the ground once I repair it, it definitely won't be offered for sale here again, I don't think I can undo age and salt air in this case - but I'm crossing my fingers for stable work and scrappage schemes if it makes me dig around underneath for stupid electronics in lumps of rust again.

[Bear]

I love my Audi. I feel happy enough losing money on the Porsche due to circumstances and seeing it go to a good home with @95 quid Peugeot...

But you know what? If I had just gone "I like this Audi I'll just drive it sod EV bollocks" I wouldn't have bought the Innsmouth Ampera - and thus would have had funds to MOT the Porsche etc.

It's a shame because I really like the Ampera as a machine, but seeing two crop up on the facebook group for £2K/90,000 miles and £2.5K/112,000 miles neither with gopping rear bumpers, I feel like an absolute muppet for buying it.

Even then, if the Ampera had managed two weeks before throwing an ABS/stability light, I wouldn't have had to add discovering just how crusty and bodged the front of it is to join the state of the back end.

And if the thing had been remotely looked after I wouldn't have replaced an ABS sensor as the code reader says "bad circuit front right" only to find the problem lies elsewhere and since I need to literally cut the wheel arch liner from the rusted flatheaded torx undertray bolts to vaguely improve access and trace faults this is not "simple" as the FB group standard knowitall claimed - though the other side of the loom felt worryingly degraded and I really would like to check it.

I just cannot. Be. Arsed. when the thing is in such grim condition underneath having clearly never seen a jetwash in years from the literal field that fell out from under it the liners.

As a rule when rustproofing, I tend to wash the dirt off first rather than waxing it, so this was an unwelcome discovery while lying under a car trying to wrestle the undertray aside enough to reach the ABS connector.

Torn between gritting my teeth and fixing it, or scrapping it, because I couldn't in good conscience sell the fucking thing  for anything close to what I paid 😕 but neither option of the tonewheel hub seal or the wiring diagnostic is very appealing to deal with. Ugh.

Still. My Audi is a lovely, lovely car, @Rocket88 did enough to make it a really viable project. If I didn't have that, I'd be properly stressed now!

So what do I do? Ignore the ABS warning until September and the MOT even though it stuffs the regen? Somehow give a shit and  dig through the dirt and crunchy stuff? Fire? Cut my losses and ditch it?

[Bear]

On 19/07/2025 at 06:35, bangernomics said:

Think easyjet handluggage that will have a laptop in it and nothing else.

Yeah, nothing that small sadly! When EasyJet say hand luggage isn't that the actual definition of the size - if it doesn't fit in your palm it's too big?

[bangernomics]

Yeah, nothing that small sadly! When EasyJet say hand luggage isn't that the actual definition of the size - if it doesn't fit in your palm it's too big?

October time then when we roll back over in a car. If you aren’t in a hurry that is.

[Cookiesouwest]

11 hours ago, Bear said:

I love my Audi. I feel happy enough losing money on the Porsche due to circumstances and seeing it go to a good home with @95 quid Peugeot...

But you know what? If I had just gone "I like this Audi I'll just drive it sod EV bollocks" I wouldn't have bought the Innsmouth Ampera - and thus would have had funds to MOT the Porsche etc.

It's a shame because I really like the Ampera as a machine, but seeing two crop up on the facebook group for £2K/90,000 miles and £2.5K/112,000 miles neither with gopping rear bumpers, I feel like an absolute muppet for buying it.

Even then, if the Ampera had managed two weeks before throwing an ABS/stability light, I wouldn't have had to add discovering just how crusty and bodged the front of it is to join the state of the back end.

And if the thing had been remotely looked after I wouldn't have replaced an ABS sensor as the code reader says "bad circuit front right" only to find the problem lies elsewhere and since I need to literally cut the wheel arch liner from the rusted flatheaded torx undertray bolts to vaguely improve access and trace faults this is not "simple" as the FB group standard knowitall claimed - though the other side of the loom felt worryingly degraded and I really would like to check it.

I just cannot. Be. Arsed. when the thing is in such grim condition underneath having clearly never seen a jetwash in years from the literal field that fell out from under it the liners.

As a rule when rustproofing, I tend to wash the dirt off first rather than waxing it, so this was an unwelcome discovery while lying under a car trying to wrestle the undertray aside enough to reach the ABS connector.

Torn between gritting my teeth and fixing it, or scrapping it, because I couldn't in good conscience sell the fucking thing  for anything close to what I paid 😕 but neither option of the tonewheel hub seal or the wiring diagnostic is very appealing to deal with. Ugh.

Still. My Audi is a lovely, lovely car, @Rocket88 did enough to make it a really viable project. If I didn't have that, I'd be properly stressed now!

So what do I do? Ignore the ABS warning until September and the MOT even though it stuffs the regen? Somehow give a shit and  dig through the dirt and crunchy stuff? Fire? Cut my losses and ditch it?

Cut your losses. WBAC.

If money is tight, don't even consider fixing it. 

[SiC]

13 hours ago, Bear said:

So what do I do?

Send it to a garage?

[SiC]

If you have a replacement sensor, plug it in and see if the code goes away. If it does then you know it's just the sensor rather than wiring further up the loom. 

Once the liner is off, if it's going to be a pain to put back on then you could just leave it off. Especially if you are just going to run it until it dies. 

[mat777]

If it helps with the liner situation, I'd Dremel or drill out the screws and then use these to put them back on with 

[Bear]

7 hours ago, SiC said:

If you have a replacement sensor, plug it in and see if the code goes away. If it does then you know it's just the sensor rather than wiring further up the loom. 

Once the liner is off, if it's going to be a pain to put back on then you could just leave it off. Especially if you are just going to run it until it dies. 

Send to a garage: hahahahahhahah.

Sorry, I have so many shitty garage experiences, but also - unemployed ATM (and no benefits - I hope to get my self-employed work up to speed and the DWP can get stuffed adding more intrusive paperwork to ADHD existence) so paying someone less conscientious and skilled, on the clock, £70/hour + to deal with a problem in a rush is not awesome. As with other situations, it's times like this that the Adams&Hayward "Stealing my fucking tools especially my scissor lift under the pretence of storing it for me under a shitty situation and move" really grates, because the big issue is my duff mobility and ankle, which means scraping about under an old Vauxhall dealing with rusted fasteners is very painful

But I did it enough to force that bloody liner out of the way, get to the wiring, fit a new ABS sensor, reassemble it and test it.

The problem remains and may be further up the loom. Etc.

Hence the sheer irritation that I need to drill out a load of spire clips and torx headed screws on a car that supposedly had had the subframe rustproofed after an advisory on the previous MOT

If I could get the liner off without damaging more plastics, getting it back on would be a piece of piss because I'm not allergic to spending a few pounds on fasteners or small parts that are broken. See "the bonnet stay hook with a broken clip that had been held in with superglue when a new part was £3-5 from Vauxhall delivered next day"

[Bear]

4 hours ago, mat777 said:

If it helps with the liner situation, I'd Dremel or drill out the screws and then use these to put them back on with 

I'll replace them with factory spec or close to - but I can't get a suitable drill in without buying smaller tools or somesuch. Saw blade is too close to plastics for the spoiler or recess into the arch clip, and the neat pliers for undoing rusted screws with stripped teeth just slide off the screw heads. Just one of those really frustrating combinations that makes a simple job the kind of thing where I want to grab the jack handle and go full Fawlty Towers on the car, or just rip the bumper and plastics away regardless of damage caused (and then have to stop myself doing so when a prised-enough arch liner digs into wrists while blind-wrangling a loose connector home).

[Bear]

But I did just do a motorway run in the Audi to ECP for parts to service a friend's Fiesta.

Apart from some vibration at 70 and a squeaksqueaksqueak spot on a back brake it is doing a fantastic job. It has earned that new headlining. Even for the sunroof.

So I am glad @95 quid Peugeot got the Boxster before the end of the month, as I would have been gutted to end up with this being the one that went.

[SiC]

22 hours ago, Bear said:

Torn between gritting my teeth and fixing it, or scrapping it, because I couldn't in good conscience sell the fucking thing  for anything close to what I paid 😕 but neither option of the tonewheel hub seal or the wiring diagnostic is very appealing to deal with. Ugh.

Broken and tatty but very cheap obscure electric hybrid...

Sounds right up @Kiltox street. 😉 🤪

[Bear]

3 hours ago, SiC said:

Broken and tatty but very cheap obscure electric hybrid...

Sounds right up @Kiltox street. 😉 🤪

I already have one delivery to make (or a collection awaiting) but I couldn't in good conscience do that.

It does work - that's what's really annoying. It just started the ABS light shenanigans randomly a couple of weeks in, and I put it on the list to sort when I had money. The sensor is only £18. But if it's the hub and bearing that's a PITA due to rust (the CV boot needs doing too, I swear it's rusty it's crumbled so much). All I wanted to do was chuck it in for an early MOT so I didn't need to worry and now it's given me not simple repairs with a deadline.

I like Amperas. This one, not so much.

[Bear]

Data is always useful.

Assuming "right front" is "offside front" and not some cockeyed "right and left are defined by facing the engine, the sensor I replaced with a new Febi one is giving these dropouts.

Now... enough speed and distance covered to suggest it is a signal dropout and not a tonewheel issue (phew) but FFS it works most of the time then goes.

I suspect I will need to get the arch liner off and access the wire properly.

With that in mind:

Aggressive jetwashing the mud from behind the plastics, then let it dry. Suspension leg from Titanic, driveshafts, Lusitania, subframe by Alfasud Factory.

It will endure much waxoyl.

If I'm going to cut the bolts off and replace all the undertray fixing I may as well remove the whole fascia, do some better rust treatment of the subframe if I can, and fit as much as I can back together properly instead of the unclipped, gappy, saggy mess that it is now.

This would be so easy if it weren't neglected/bodged like this - the ABS connector once the plastic is removed is dead easy to reach, but it is boxed in with the plastic in place.

Bonus excitement from eBay digging: I found a new sunroof seal for the Audi for about £60 - the correct moulding with white insert for pressure seal, and felt trim. Can't wait for it to arrive. Someone on eBay was asking £95 for it!

[Bear]

How it started:

Badger Badger Badger Badger, mushroom mushroom

Wait is not snek is frend?

Old one out and polish the roof

Mind the gap

Bloody hell this is a pain.

Front corners took ages, absolute bastard

Of course I cleaned in here and polished with ceramic wax

Refit the deflector. Need to re-tape the rubber thing for anti-rattle

Finished

Pleased with the join, despite losing my angled cutters

Looks alright, I think...

Fuzzy felt. 2.5m perfect for the Audi 100 roof, maybe cut off about 20cm.

[EyesWeldedShut]

[Bear]

So... the Chevy Spark had to to a Heathrow run because the Ampera is such a sulky, rusty git.

Two up it was okay. On the way back, super vibration machine at 60. Okay at 70.

Ages ago gf said "are the tyres okay it feels weird" - drove it with her, felt okay.

Went around roundabout on my own and I'd swear the wheel was trying to fall off...

Damper... yes, you need to strip half the interior to get to the top mount.

All five pieces.

New one on. Other side I didn't even take the wheel off.

Job done?

No.

Reversing camera time...

Simple enough?

Need to feed RCA through the boot.

And power from reverse light

Hmmm...

I hate these

But not as much I hate feeding things into the boot. It took four hours of trying solutions (can't remove boot loom) culminating in "three bits of solder bent and spliced from each access, tied to string, then the string made the RCA jack jam so I used washer hose on the pin, then tape, then steered it with the string.

Then the power wire followed on the string...

This really was shit

And then, having spliced, soldered and heatshrinked the 12V, fed it in the C-pillar, and cleaned and washed the tail light with deionised water...

The tail light fell off the car...

😭

Bastard thing

Check the mode selection wire works before soldering

The little red signal on wire had to be spliced in. It can piss off too - they could easily pin that in.

Success!

LED number plate lights working

Very subtle camera

But with that done I could transfer the trim clips over and fit the radio surround properly.

The microphone is screwed onto the headlining next to the interior light, the USB ports in the glovebox, the wifi antenna on the windscreen, and it all works quite well.

Replacement light, and a remote boot release and cable, and then it's done. And it drives a lot better with matching new dampers on the back, if a little firmer than I expected - the reviews when it was new were spot on. The old damper squashed flat with no resistance, the offside one looked newer and still had a GM sticker.

Monroe ones looked like an almost perfect match.

This Chevy really isn't a bad car, not even that much rust on it. Still looking for a rear bumper, but I have spotted a passenger door for sale that would get rid of some dents if swapped over...

[Bear]

I am so tempted to just bin this fucking Ampera

Finally, can jack it up properly

Can see underneath!

The problem undertray stopping me from fixing the ABS wiring, if it's not the driveshaft bolt and washer.

let's take a look at the back for the handbrake

Well that's probabky why it sounds crunchy

The EVAP warning is probably related to this box that's trying to escape from...

Fuel tank pipe. This car isn't a bit scruffy, it's a mongrel. I wish I could have seen underneath it properly before buying.

Still, I can get to this and maybe sort the ABS and get it another MOT.

But damned if I'm buying any more four-figure cars without doing some research and bringing someone along who isn't in such pain that they can't look underneath after the drive to see it

[Bear]

TBH i'm gutted about the Ampera. I'm broke enough as it is, and the state of it, not just the repairs - basically £3K down the pan for two weeks of it working okay, three months of puncture repair goop failing and ABS problems so I used the Audi more instead and once again stopped doing long drives. There's "surface rust" and then there's "the fuel filler, floor and suspension are barely distinguishable from each other or bran flakes". That hasn't happened overnight.

So now I need to make the most of it, I guess, and remember that no-one sells an appliance car as useful as this unless it's completely fucked in some way. I'm not sure how I'll get it to a state to pass another MOT, let alone be something I'm happy with, but it's a shame because I really like the Ampera as a car.