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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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mouseflakes Rank: Renault 16

mouseflakes

Posted
Posted

This is cool.

 

Is there any simple way of fathoming out where a flippin car is located from the Autotrader website?

Annoying isn't it? I've previously resorted to running the Autotrader search from two different post codes then using one of those on-line tools where you can draw circles 'radius = x' on a map. You centre a circle on each of the two post codes and set the radii to the values that the search returned and look for the intersects. If you're lucky, only one of them will be on dry land. Rubbish really.

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

I think it would be helpful if autotrader gave you the town. I can see why they'd want to stop cretins zooming in on your exact postcode and house no like gumtree does.

Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

Bloody hell this S55 AMG merc is a bit of alright.

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

I like the start button on the gearknob.

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/252636162574?ul_noapp=true

So what stops you from accidentally switching the engine off while going from D to R? Even better, your passenger could be a dickhead and just switch the engine off to piss you off. Terrible piece of design! Although, as a passenger, I would probably switch it off if a mate had one. :D

Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
Posted

So what stops you from accidentally switching the engine off while going from D to R? Even better, your passenger could be a dickhead and just switch the engine off to piss you off. Terrible piece of design! Although, as a passenger, I would probably switch it off if a mate had one. :D

 

Think you can be fairly certain that the button wont work if the car is going faster than like 2mph or whatever.

Timewaster Rank: Isuzu Florian

Timewaster

Posted
Posted

Think you can be fairly certain that the button wont work if the car is going faster than like 2mph or whatever.

I'd like to think that you wouldn't be going from D to R at any sort of speed.

 

A guy I knew had witnessed his boss put his Supra into P as he approached his parking spot and gently brake to a stop.

He tried it in his own auto and it was like hitting a wall! Pillock!

SiC Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

SiC

Posted
Posted

I'd like to think that you wouldn't be going from D to R at any sort of speed.

 

A guy I knew had witnessed his boss put his Supra into P as he approached his parking spot and gently brake to a stop.

He tried it in his own auto and it was like hitting a wall! Pillock!

Top tip, don't try it on a Laguna either. Admittedly was only moving at a very slow crawl, but it did stop, stop it did! I know the parking pawl is incredibly strong, but I did have visions of it bending horribly inside the box. Rooky mistake of an auto box noob.

 

A lot of newer gearboxes have completely fly-by-wire shifters - I.e. no physical connection between the shifter and the box apart from a computer. In these, they won't shift into park until stopped.

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

I remember driving my bosses new at the time 56 plate Audi A6 4.2 in sport mode with flappy paddles . I was in 2nd at the red line and pressed the wrong paddle to go to 1st rather than 3rd. It just immediately went back to D in the correct gear as it knew I was being a fanny (luckily)

  • saucedoctor
  • Like 1
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

MacArthur's van is rusting in the arch
All the sweet, brown icing flowing down

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

someone left the window open in the rain

I don't think that I can feel it

Coz it took so long to seal it

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

I recall the yellow/beige painted mess
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your step

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/RENAULT-TRAFIC-T1000-HOLDSWORTH-CAMPERVAN-/182356398841?hash=item2a7549d2f9:g:yrwAAOSwA3dYGQZ~

GrumpyCat Rank: BL Wedge

GrumpyCat

Posted
Posted

I'm still on the lookout for a small auto, so spotted this being local...

 

http://www.friday-ad.co.uk/littlehampton/cars/nissan-micra-2000-15673641/

 

nissan-micra-2000-15673641-2_800X600.jpg

 

 

Looks quite tidy and the advert states:

 

 

 

NO MOT, but see no reason for not passing.

 

Obviously, no one was biting at £350 so they've put it in for an MOT today...

 

 

 

MOT history of this vehicle
  • Test date16 November 2016
  • Test ResultFail
  • Odometer reading79,816 miles
  • MOT test number3110 8382 7856
  • Reason(s) for failure
    Windscreen washer provides insufficient washer liquid (8.2.3)
    offside front Windscreen wiper does not clear the windscreen effectively (8.2.2)
    offside Headlamp aim too low (1.8)
    nearside Stop lamp not working (1.2.1b)
    nearside front Tyre tread depth below requirements of 1.6mm (4.1.E.1)
    offside front Tyre tread depth below requirements of 1.6mm (4.1.E.1)
    offside front Track rod end ball joint has excessive play (2.2.B.1f)
    nearside rear Axle beam cracked coil spring cup corroded and split open. (2.5.A.5a)
    nearside rear Suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded inner lower sill (2.4.A.3)
    offside rear Suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded inner lower sill (2.4.A.3)
    offside rear Seat belt anchorage prescribed area is excessively corroded outer lower sill (5.2.6)
    offside front Brake pad(s) less than 1.5 mm thick (3.5.1g)
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    offside rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit 2mm (4.1.E.1)
    nearside rear coil spring corroded (2.4.C.1b)
    offside rear coil spring corroded (2.4.C.1b)
    nearside front Brake pad(s) wearing thin (3.5.1g)
    Brake pipe slightly corroded pipes going into load valve corroded (3.6.B.2c)
    Brake valve corroded but not excessively weakened (3.6.A.2b)

 

 

DoNotWantCat.jpg

  • richardthestag, Mr Laurence, Jerzy Woking and 4 others
  • Like 7
wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

Here's that bloke in Telford who's always got a few pretty dire cars in stock and everyone advertised with 'This car would be priced on a forecourt at...' and it's always some risible amount, this time being £595

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1994-FORD-FIESTA-MISTRAL-RED-/291943665949?hash=item43f932d11d:g:ZJgAAOSwux5YKyJ4

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

The most amazing thing about this advert is that there is somebody out there who had to take out finance to buy an M-reg Fiesta.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Checkout this spunk bubble

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

'I put a lot of thought and money into the trailer'

 

 

​Yes, yes absolutely. Clearly a 'massive effort' has gone into chopping a third of the front doors off, then making the rest completely pointless anyhow. And what self respecting partner wouldn't want to go on holiday in a chequer plated prison cell with a pound shop fucking wheel trim for a speaker, or an air vent, or something?

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

'Utilises original rear lights'

 

 

s-l1600.jpg
 

 

The back looks like it was used to sell at ice creams out of at the Mablethorpes Dogging Society's annual grumbleflick drive through cinema.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VW-Golf-Mk4-sport-estate-1-9tdi-130bhp-and-unique-vw-golf-estate-camper-trailer-/182356264579?hash=item2a7547c683:g:H20AAOSwXeJYLJrV

wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

Checkout this spunk bubble

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

'I put a lot of thought and money into the trailer'

 

 

​Yes, yes absolutely. Clearly a 'massive effort' has gone into chopping a third of the front doors off, then making the rest completely pointless anyhow. And what self respecting partner wouldn't want to go on holiday in a chequer plated prison cell with a pound shop fucking wheel trim for a speaker, or an air vent, or something?

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

'Utilises original rear lights'

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

The back looks like it was used to sell at ice creams out of at the Mablethorpes Dogging Society's annual grumbleflick drive through cinema.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VW-Golf-Mk4-sport-estate-1-9tdi-130bhp-and-unique-vw-golf-estate-camper-trailer-/182356264579?hash=item2a7547c683:g:H20AAOSwXeJYLJrV

The thing that always gets me with those cars-made-into-trailers is that the axle is invariably right at the back so the nose weight on the towbar must be horrific.

  • richardthestag, oldcars, NorfolkNWeigh and 2 others
  • Like 5
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

SIT

 

 

dogs-buster-10.jpg

 

 

SHIT

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

PAIR OF TITS

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

'i own a car costume garage in Birmingham'

 

​Quite appropriate then that you've modelled that car on a pair of 1980's tart's knickers, because you're going to look a complete c*nt driving round in that.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Classic-UNIQUE-Mitsubishi-FTO-Automatic-Modified-Show-Room-Car-NO-RESERVE-/112205866653?hash=item1a1ffda69d:g:TacAAOSwXeJYK7OT

mouseflakes Rank: Renault 16

mouseflakes

Posted
Posted

MacArthur's van is rusting in the arch

All the sweet, brown icing flowing down

 

someone left the window open in the rain

I don't think that I can feel it

Coz it took so long to seal it

 

I recall the yellow/beige painted mess

Foaming like a wave

On the ground around your step

  :-D  Jimmy Webb-tastic.

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