Ask a Shiter

[DeeJay]

Brand new...... off a shelf on the Titanic.

[The Moog]

Moog: take a walk down the track with a pick-axe, and knock the high bits into the low bits.

sadly they are the drain pipes from t'fields so a pickaxe through em might be an issue

[Tayne]

Build up around the pipes with gravel/cement/hardcore.

[rml2345]

Bol posting that 540 Beemer in the tat thread and it got me wondering. Why do you see loads of E34 5-Series with the fuel filler flap missing? Is it a particularly crap design or is it just coincidence?

[The Moog]

Build up around the pipes with gravel/cement/hardcore.

Its owned by the farm further round and they can be precious (related to my idiot landlord). They have a massive pile of gravel they use to fill the holes when they get unbearable.

 

I think i might just have to drive at 5 mph over the bumps and keep fingers crossed

[barefoot]

Pottering along the M1 the other day in the bay, closing gently on a Honda Jazz in lane 1, it slows a bit more and I eased out to pass it.

Mrs barefoot & I glanced over to look at the elderly driver who appeared to be FAST A FUCKING SLEEP.

His head was down with his chin resting on his chest.

Bemused, I failed to sound my horn & suddenly I was in front of the fucker.

Any advice?

I drove as fast as I could for a minute or two and hoped for the best.

[Norbert]

Stupid question:

 

Out walking the dog yesterday, I saw a Korean crossover thingy (Kia, I think) with 'AWD' badging on the front wings.

Is this just another way of saying '4WD' or is there a technical difference between All Wheel Drive and Four Wheel Drive (when the terms are applied to four-wheeled vehicles)? Such as Permanent or selectable 4WD, centre diff, transfer box, high/low range etc etc etc. Or is it just marketing confusion in play?

[Luckythirteen]

It's just marketing: although I'm inclined to think soft roaders and estates tend to be labelled as 'all roads' or 'AWD' so they'll not be OLLI'd and taken into the woods.

[Taff]

I was following a police mobile speed camera van the other day. Not in itself that weird but the cunt was doing 70 in a 50 zone. I got a picture of him with his reg number visible, is there anyway to dob the twat in?

[Luckythirteen]

I'd have attempted a citizen's arrest. I'm not even sure how that works, but I fancy trying it. Just gimme an excuse filthy copper.

Doesn't help I know, but then you were taking pictures doing 70 yourself, so when they ask how you knew...

[mat_the_cat]

I'd have attempted a citizen's arrest. I'm not even sure how that works

 

Simple, just do the pit manoeuvre as shown once or twice* on World's Wildest Police Videos and once the copper has crawled out of the debris of the resulting crash, tell him you are performing a citizen's arrest on him. WCPGW?

[saucedoctor]

Stupid question:

 

Out walking the dog yesterday, I saw a Korean crossover thingy (Kia, I think) with 'AWD' badging on the front wings.

Is this just another way of saying '4WD' or is there a technical difference between All Wheel Drive and Four Wheel Drive (when the terms are applied to four-wheeled vehicles)? Such as Permanent or selectable 4WD, centre diff, transfer box, high/low range etc etc etc. Or is it just marketing confusion in play?

I am informed that "4WD" is used to denote Four-wheel drive "sometimes", e.g. Hyundai Tucson/ Toyota RAV 4. "AWD" is used to mean "Permanent Four Wheel Drive", e.g., Jaguar X Type V6, Subaru Impreza, Land Rovers (except some of the new ones).

 

I recall some Jappo imports of some sort having "FULL TIME 4WD" on the doors, but I can't remember what vehicles specifically.

[saucedoctor]

I'd have attempted a citizen's arrest. I'm not even sure how that works, but I fancy trying it. Just gimme an excuse filthy copper.

Doesn't help I know, but then you were taking pictures doing 70 yourself, so when they ask how you knew...

Citizen's Arrest - a MASSIVE, FUCK-OFF can of worms. Even the CPS/PPSNI aren't all that sure.

 

See here:

 

http://www.findlaw.co.uk/law/government/civil_rights/500393.html

[Taff]

I'd have attempted a citizen's arrest. I'm not even sure how that works, but I fancy trying it. Just gimme an excuse filthy copper.

Doesn't help I know, but then you were taking pictures doing 70 yourself, so when they ask how you knew...

 

yeah, I know, a pic showing his vehicle and my speedo clearly ondicating 70mph...

 

Mind you, if I re-route it through a few laptops and devices, changing it each time, them post it online...

[sheffcortinacentre]

the police are allowed to break the law while apprehending a criminal (whats sauce for the goose etc)

[The Moog]

What does veg do to emissions? I have got an MOT due next week and wondered if I need to put it through with dizzle rather than veg.

[MrDuke]

What does veg do to emissions? I have got an MOT due next week and wondered if I need to put it through with dizzle rather than veg.

 

 

Makes them stink.

 

AFAIK, dizzle emissions tests are still only 'visual', so assuming the engine's in decent nick, it shouldn't be producing any more smoke than normal fuel. I have heard rare cases of testers refusing to complete the test due to the odour, but my local one wasn't remotely bothered (in fact he gave me a bucket of WVO on the way out).

[The Moog]

Cool. Wee bit Smokey at start up but after that it is fine. Got it booked in for 10am so everything crossed

[Tayne]

Italian tune up prior to the test then.

[Richard]

I believe veg smoke is virtually invisible to the testing equipment.

[Lacquer Peel]

Comparing the MOT emissions of my Fabia when it was running on diesel with the previous owner, and the current MOT running on veg, it's a fraction of the diesel amount.

[Bucketeer]

Hypothetically, asking for a friend, if some unspecified lanky Northern clown was to buy, for example, a beautifully scabby blue Maestro van to travel as far around the world as it would get before expiring, what would I need the unspecified friend need to do to legally pilot said beast through Europe, barring extended insurance cover? From the Black Sea region onwards East is less of an unknown for me him, but he has no idea of driving regs and necessities throughout Western and Central Europe.

My friend says thankyou in advance for any advice.

[Mr Lobster]

Western and Central Europe is straightforward. As long as you have all your documents - V5, MOT and insurance cert your pretty much sorted. Make sure you know the local rules of the road and you your friend shouldn't have any bother.

[Junkman]

He should drive on the other side of the road, once he rolled off the ferry.

Otherwise the locals might be slightly confused.

[Skizzer]

He'd need to have the right wife.

 

(Or possibly find the right wife on the way, depending on his circumstances.)

[Bucketeer]

He was just worried there would be something obvious that needed doing/arranging which his puny little mind has failed to flag up.

And for possibly the first time in my his miserable lonely life, the 'right wife' conundrum is very much ýÑÂüð ÿрþñûõüø.

Ta very much for the advice/reassurances.

[castros_bro]

V5, insurance, MOT, Driving licence, Autoshite sticker, UK pisspot and several photocopies of everything. If someone  parked a Maestro Van in a village square and sleep in the back BEWARE.....the market stalls will be constructed with your friend's van in the middle silently so as not to disturb till some git climbs out the back is their keks....or so I am told....

 

 

Do it

[catsinthewelder]

Sounds great, I'm sure I can rustle up a couple of spare* hi vis vests from work and a selection of bulbs from a scrapper to see you him clear of silly French laws.

 

Let me know before shitefest.

[Junkman]

Oh, and in .fr he will also need two of those daft breathalysers.

[dave21478]

Dont bother with the breathalysers - Its a legal requirement to have them put there is no punishment for not having them. Farce.

You do need a warning triangle and a hiviz vest though.