New members, introduce yourself here.

[Cavcraft]

Welcome along, tell us about your shite collection etc.

[Guest Fatboy1]

Hi - Fatboy1 here - I don't currently have a shite car (well actuall thats a matter of opinion....an old mans Nissan) but I am proud to report I have had many shite cars in my past - datsun 120a coupe (series1) Bond Bug (truly bloody awful - don't believe the hype) Fiat 132 (fast & comfy, shocking body rot) Ford Capri (truly bloody awful - don't believe the hype) Morris Marina Estate (the one that looked like a hears for David Rappaport - google it) Triumph Acclaim, Fiat Uno (x 2 - a nice driver, but zero credibility) Fiat Punto (x 2 a nice drive, less credibility & stunningly awful looks) Renault 19 (utter shite - left me stranded on a number of occasions, finally died with a frozen block - a mercy killing) Volkswagen Derby (ugly, slow, shit handling & utterly terrifying brakes) Volvo 340 (comfy, & good in the snow, was menstrual red & the clutch made a funny whoop noise) Ford Sierra 2.0gls injection (fast & comfy, had a rising damp problem & mould on the back seat - my son called it the smelly car - so did I) Fiat Marea Estate (shite name, the car flxed when you went over unever roads causing the dash to creak & the load cover to flie open - like a clowns shirt front - also no credibilty in the car park of life - possibly a low in a low life of shite cars - don't judge me!) Citroen picasso (enough said) ford focus (with 165000 miles on - it was only 4 years old - died of a broken heart - that n the engine blew!) renault 5 campus (didn't know there was less than poverty spec!) Add to that a selection of shite bikes but my dad aced everything I tried for in the Autoshite stakes - he actually bought - with his own money as well - a Talbot Solara - Brand new - Twice!!

 

To add insult to injury, kids broke into the second Solara & took a dump on the drivers seat - they may have improved it (true story!)

Picture not the actual parcel of shite which was my very first car, but the correct colour - mine was in very shabby condition - if I could get it back today - I probably wouldn't - life is too short for so much pain!

 

[the judge]

A shit in a solar a! Nice one. You earned ur shite stripes with a marea weekend. Welcome dude!

[Guest Poisson]

Aft' all! A Facebook follower from Sheffield who decided to show his face on the beigey browny pages of chodness. Currently the co-owner of 5 utterly shite Morris vehicles....

[Lord Sterling]

Aft' all! A Facebook follower from Sheffield who decided to show his face on the beigey browny pages of chodness. Currently the co-owner of 5 utterly shite Morris vehicles....

[Compo's voice]Ey'up Fish_lad, 'ooopefully we'll get te sey yer Morrises in pictures veree syoon[/Compo's voice]

[Guest Ballbag]

Hi , im new , no shitbox at the moment - every car ive had has been crap , ripped off , missed obvious faults etc , so i should fit in ok!

 

And ive been on another ' retro ; forum and find its nazi like mods  and bum licky sidekicks untolerable !

[brickwall]

Welcome Bawbag!

[Uncle Jimmy]

Evening all you shiters. New member here, will be adding my tuppence worth of shite to discourse here from time to time.

I've been a shite admirer for about 10yrs now, it has worsened since I hit 40 and led to the acquisition of '70s Volvos, crusty Fiats and indestructible plastic Lotus's.

The affliction is chronic now but I can handle it.

[Skizzer]

Three words: 'Hello' and 'Need photos'

[Bucketeer]

^^^^ Hey Skizzla, stop stealing my chat-up lines.

[cms206]

Evening all you shiters. New member here, will be adding my tuppence worth of shite to discourse here from time to time.

I've been a shite admirer for about 10yrs now, it has worsened since I hit 40 and led to the acquisition of '70s Volvos, crusty Fiats and indestructible plastic Lotus's.

The affliction is chronic now but I can handle it.

DID SOMEONE SAY VOLVOS?

 

Hello, we're the SVM. PICTURS NOW PLZ.

[Uncle Jimmy]

When I'm on the desktop I shall endeavour to upload some pics of the blue 164 barge and past indiscretions.

Volvos are like elderly relatives, you love them and don't want to take them on holiday to Switzerland but feel mildly embarrassed being seen with them.

[Jim Bell]

Volvos....feel mildly embarrassed being seen with them.

Not true.

Save your lies for coolin your pies.

[worldofceri]

Did someone say ‘indestructible Lotus's’? Shirley that can’t be right?

[Uncle Jimmy]

Fibreglass and a galvanised chassis. Come armageddon the only things left will be cockroaches and plastic Lotus's. Interior trim and electrics are where Lotus's fail miserably.

[Uncle Jimmy]

Btw the bloke sat on the bonnet of the Alpine in the first comment of this thread is Roy Axe, criminal mastermind behind the styling of Chrysler/Talbot motors. The Alpine was a masterpiece of understated design.

[inconsistant]

I can't believe someone did a poo poo in a Solara. When we were teenagers my mate came back from holiday and told me someone had done a massive jobbie on the bonnet of their hire car which was the funniest thing i had ever heard up to that point and I laughed about it for days but curling one off inside is rather different I think. And a Solara too. Anyone caught doing that should have their arse cut off.

[Uncle Jimmy]

Anyone doing that should have a Solara driven up their arse. Sharp angular end or even sharper angularer end first.

[michael1703]

You are breadvan72 aicmfp

[Mirkin]

Hello. 

Kind of a new member, just remembered my password, don't think I posted before but have been lurking upon the FB page for some time now. 

Grown up wth an odd fascination for most things shite.

I drive a Fiat 126 BIS and a, probably not that far off being shite, PH2 Ciio.

 

Marc.

[Mirkin]

The BIS.

[Jim Bell]

The BIS.

[Mirkin]

Haven't heard BIS for years, might have a bit of a youtube search later. 

I posted a photo with a post above but it didn't appear, hope it works this time.

[nick]

Hi all,

 

I met quite a few of you last year at Arley Hall (I think it was there anyway).

 

As a long time member of the United Kingdom Ford Probe Owner's club, you'll be shocked and confused to hear that I own, a Ford Probe. Yes, the unsung hero of Ford's many interesting developments during the 90s (Scorpio anyone) and the car that Clarkson said "looks good enough to snap knicker elastic at 50 paces". I've kept that car running for five years now after owning two Probes previously. Everything about the Probe is great from the V6 Mazda POWER under the bonnet through to the tan leather I had my mates install from a donor car. The minute I step into that vehicle, I become my local version of Magnum PI and the only thing that lets me down there is the inability to grow a moustache.

 

You're probably thinking "that's a bit boring, why has he not tried anything else?" Well... I have. I used to own a Cashmere Gold Maestro Mayfair with brown velour interior which a friend of mine on here tried to help me flog (you may remember seeing it). It was great and I still own all the original documentation from the day my Grandfather bought it new. It ended up becoming parts of various other Maestros in the end. Anyway, back to the present and the Probe is getting high on mileage. I want to keep it looking good and running well so I have been lurking around the 'for sale' part of Autoshite for a while now with a view to possibly buying some pre-owned Autoshite from here to give the Probe a break.

 

Although I've had no success yet, I thought I should come on here and say hello.

 

Hello.

[Jim Bell]

Welcome.

 

Make photos PLS.

[nick]

Welcome.

 

Make photos PLS.

 

Thanks.

 

Here you go:

 

[Jim Bell]

 

 

That's a lovely shot.

[dollywobbler]

Howdy. I remember seeing your Probe in a car park and remarking that while a bit oddly shaped, it's actually quite attractive. 

[brickwall]

Welcome guys

[nick]

Howdy. I remember seeing your Probe in a car park and remarking that while a bit oddly shaped, it's actually quite attractive. 

 

Hi. Yeah there are some unique elements in the styling that I still notice now. A lot of owners are fond of the way the windows wrap around the rear with no visible frames including myself. I'm a little more simple so it's the pop-up headlights that sold it when I first got one along with the air scooping front bumper. It's quite easy to make them look very different with certain camera angles and subtle exterior changes like the front number plate shape. They came with normal UK plates as standard but the front one hides some of the styling.

 

 

 

That's a lovely shot.

 

Thanks, it's one of the better ones I have! It was taken at Silverstone in August.