Cavcraft Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Welcome along, you've certainly had a very varied shite history there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Welcome to the world of the real, you all seem pretty worthy with such varied flavours of shite. Most excellent stuff Ken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 A big hello to all. I've been lurking for a few months and enjoyed the tales of high drama that shite ownership can bring. I believe on other forums it's traditional to buy everyone a virtual pint while they indulge the newbie - there's 20groat behind the virtual bar to take away some of the boredom! After many years of basically unsatisfying company car usage, I took the first opportunity to 'opt out'. And the return to shite cars was joyous. That was some eleven years ago and since then I've been up and down the spectrum of old chod that purported to have some life left in it. I'll list in full later but the fleet has been pared down of late to the restoration project-in-waiting of a late Mr2 Mk1 that I retired from daily duties at 233,000 miles, a much cherished '89 LT with a coachbuilt camper body on it, Mrs Chod-Weaver's cast-off 55plate Fiesta which is my current daily shite while she tools around in a slightly less shite 60plate Focus.What I haven't managed yet, is to return to the shite of my youth - a 1972 maxi, or my family's penchant for Austin 1300s, Minis, a 1.8 Marina saloon (oh, the dogshitty brownness of it), the two Solaras my dad had before he was seduced by Carinas or the 1850 Dolomite and succession of Honda Preludes that my sister had.High* points of my chod have been a '96 escort estate 1.8TD in povo spec and several different reds, an LDV Convoy minibus and a V70 AWD that I still miss though it was a moneypit. An itch I have yet to scratch properly comes from one new BX 1.9TXD hatch company car that I had to give back early when I changed jobs, and a new Xant 1.9SD company car that was neither reliable, quick, well specced or the successor to the BX I was after.Here's the history in full as best I can remember it!No, on second thoughts, the 20groat is already gone so I'll shut up for now!Sent from my GT-S5830i using Tapatalk 2 Keymaster, brickwall and trigger 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestronutter Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Hi my name is Oli, Been lurking on here for about 4 years or so, but only just found my voice I do post most days on the Facebook Group daily. Well as my usernames hints, i'm a bit crazy on Maestros..... I'm a recovery driver and have had my fair share of shite. My fleet has been cut down in recent times but it currently consists of: 1995 Rover Maestro Van (ex AA, tweaked ) - daily driver 1988 Austin Maestro Vanden Plas (45k miles, bog standard) - show car 2004 MG ZT+ CDTi (183k and counting) - Motorway mile muncher/Wife's daily. Look forward to meeting up at some point (are there any meets in the South West?) Cheers for now and heres to a SHITE New Year Oli. Sudsprint, Wilko220, cros and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestronutter Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Some of my previously owned shite..... This doesn't even scrape the surface. trigger, Sudsprint, Wilko220 and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panhard65 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Nice Maestro's I think I have a box of bits left over from the maestro van I had last year thet you are more than welcome to if you are ever near junction 26 of the M5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestronutter Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 That's a very kind offer, i don't suppose you know what bits and pieces you have? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panhard65 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I will look tomorrow there was a headlight and some interior stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestronutter Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Superb, thanks! Drop me a PM or a text on 07402 906972. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Howdy. Think I met you at Gaydon when I owned the blue Maestro van. In fact, I think I took that photo of your van arriving! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maestronutter Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Howdy. Think I met you at Gaydon when I owned the blue Maestro van. In fact, I think I took that photo of your van arriving! Hi (Ian?) Yes that was me! You no longer have the van then? You did take that picture indeed, many thanks again. Oli. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Maestro van was sold in the summer. I'm not very good at holding on to vehicles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panhard65 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Superb, thanks! Drop me a PM or a text on 07402 906972.PM sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty_Pug Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Hi, my names DaltonI like French cars mainly, little fun and can make good sleeperscurrently building an citroen Ax 5dr 950cc Craig the Princess 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Howdy. My wife owned a 954cc AX when I met her. It was bloody awful (not a fan of the driving position) but a hoot in the bends and absolutely indestructible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melchior Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Greets from Holland, shiters. I'm English not Dutch but have lived here in the Amsterdam area for nearly 2 years. 5 in Germany before this which takes us to 2008 which is when I left the UK. An inbuilt fear of spending sensible money on buying cars means I've never spent much on buying but am fairly happy to spend to keep the things moving. Back in the day I had a Rover 420 GSi Turbo for quite a few years which was just excellent. Sold it when I moved to DE, got a 600 quid 620 diesel which I kept for 3 yrs. Finally got nervous keeping a UK plated car in DE so sold for 400 quid and bought a German mk1 Mondeo estate. It was pretty reliable and the boot was HUGE. We had lots of big trips away, bike rack on the towbar, loaded up greatness. HG went a few weeks before moving to NL, it still did the journey all the way here without blowup, thank $deity. Cost to import it to NL and fix HG too high. Wanted something interesting - found BX GTi on a NL Cit forum. Bought. Shit. MOT epic fail, Sold. Suspect a "good" one is very rewarding but didn't have that pleasure. Needed cheap car quick - as luck would have it a lad up my previous street was flogging his mk3 Golf for €750. Clutch didn't, carpets wet. Forwards, backwards, left, right and stop all OK. Offer €500, deal. That was 1.5 yr and almost 20,000km ago. It's had work done but nothing super major, starts every time, stops, gets warm and gets us to work. We moved house and didn't hire a van; the Golf took everything (albeit in many trips back and forth). Recently I have been having very filthy thoughts about getting a 'nice' car - I'm looking at BMW 325ti things. A friend (also a car fan) back home has one which is very nice. But over here you need at least €5k for a good one and they're all black/silver, ugh. Golf will need tyres and MOT in the next months, if I spend €€€ on it for those things, I feel obliged to keep it for longer. Sorta loathe to get rid since it has been so good to me... If anyone's interested I can tell you more about it all but it's too reliable to be interesting Cheers allM Cavcraft, Jim Bell, Sigmund Fraud and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alpus1 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hello.I haven't used Autoshite in a couple of years,but it's always good to look at it from time to time. I've got some weird typical autoshite for myself. I love cars of most ages after the mid sixties. Currently I own 1981 Peugeot 104, 1985 Mazda 626, 1988 Zastava Yugo 511,1995 Skoda Favorit and my daily a 2001 SEAT Leon. cms206, Sigmund Fraud, dollywobbler and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Thread with pics please - especially the Favorit. Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnK Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Hi All, New to this site, found it through reading a Bollox thread on another forum, but of browsing and this place looks right up my street. Names John (if user name didn't give it away), I'm 25 from oop north. In my 8 years of driving I've owned 64 motors, the majority of them being crap, shoestring budget type affairs! I've got a bit of shite kicking about at the moment: 1982 Ford Escort 1.3 Ghia - Non rusty Ford shite 1984 Mercedes 190E 2.0 Auto Now looks shite! 1986 BMW 728i SE Auto - German barge 1991 Mercedes 190E 2.0 Auto - latest acquisition, some of the nice parts of my breaking 190 will make their way onto this 2000 Almera 1.8 SE - runabout shite - £240 of I look like a scrapper with dents and scratches all over 2000 Omega 2.5 V6 - the 'I just sit and do bugger all but handy as backup' shite. Lovely car this, been in the fold nearly 5 years 1998 Transit beaver tail - earns money for shite and looks proper pikey I also have modern shite in the formOf a 2008 525d, but nobody wants to see that. Just google a generic dark blue SE model if you're that interested! Hopefully I can give some (pretty pointless) input over here! Sudsprint, Jim Bergerac, Craig the Princess and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollywobbler Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Howdy. So you've got the Trigger-mobile then? Super. JohnK 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trigger Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Fancy seeing you here too John! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnK Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 You don't half get about Trigger! trigger 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack D Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Let me begin by stating what an outstanding forum this is. I was always in doubt whether a collection of motoring masochists like myself actually existed in any above ground in the open society and can barely contain my excitement at the discovery of such like minded shitters. My personal preference for motoring lies in ageing luxury chod. Preferably as complicated and uneconomical as possible, and if parts are difficult to come by that definitely floats my boat. The more cylinders the better IMO. Current pseudo supercar chod is a BMW 8 series, in V8 4.4 flavour. Needless to say it is "well run in" at 140K. However most of us have to make a concession and succumb to some practical shite. I was faced with this problem and "invested" £300 in a Honda Accord which in true gaffer spirit is finished in Bingo hall Burgundy with trendy climair wind deflectors on the front windows. It is complete with the mandatory bright yellow halfrauds special steering lock. For added misery it is a base model with keep fit rear windows and no fog lights. It has cloudy cataract headlights much like its doubtless deceased previous custodians had - given the multitude of parking dings. At present I'm far away from civilisation with only a satellite internet connection. Pictures of both to follow, might start a thread for the shite supercar if anyone is interested. Plenty of degradation and complex issues sure to make anyone feel better about whatever issues their own shitter steed may sport. Jack Sloth in a bowl, overrun, Craig the Princess and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnK Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Welcome Jack - as much as I love the 8 series is it wrong that I'm more interested in pics of the Accord?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack D Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 SWEET INTERNETS. Honda spends most of its life sat just about there. I fold in the mirrors and manually put down the ariel for extra old person points. I am actually quite young. Thousands of tourists mill past and drip ice cream/rub fanny packs over it. Excellent. Note black rub strips, sills and wing mirrors. Small alloy wheels and a general absence of anything that would even lightly suggest a high end derivative. Oh yes, it's got velour and I can tell you it makes an excellent absorbent material for dog saliva. That's all the photos of it I have handy with me here of the Honda. For all the abuse it receives it never puts a foot wrong. Easily the most reliable shit I have owned. Quite satisfying VTEC POWAH too. John K, Your list of cars gets me very excited in my pants. An E23. AN E23!!!! Lovely. (Hope I haven't got the photo sizing/posting rules wrong. Obligatory first pic post disclaimer). brickwall, dollywobbler, Bamboocarman and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack D Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 The BMW in contrast to the Honda is treated somewhat better however doesn't reciprocate the same gratitude. It looks like this in it's usual form. The Jack isn't tiny. The car is just massive. And occasionally like this, with bonus barn find dust. Anybody like dated interiors? Here's one you might enjoy. It makes aircaraft style bongs. Most of it doesn't work of course. Think I've got a picture of it somewhere with steam billowing from under the bonnet, post radiator failure. I'll try and dig it out. Banger Kenny, Sigmund Fraud, Craig the Princess and 13 others 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motormatt Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Evening all. My name is Matt and I've decided to take the plunge in becoming a member of this fine forum of lovers of all things shite. Current shiter is a 65k Y reg Renault Clio Grande. Hope to have more adventures in the world of shite! dollywobbler, M'coli, oman5 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bucketeer Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Figures just released show that Autoshite immigration levels have reached a new high.Over to our Smurf reporter at the scene. Thanks. It's still quite busy here at the border crossing. I understand the recent influx of immigrants is seen as a very good thing by all the Autoshite populace. A statement has been released by the official Autoshite spokesman, a Mr T. Savvy. WeLComE eVerYOnE . . . aLL ABoarD . . . TOOT TOOT Our technical team have produced an accurate visual representation of the current immigration flow, for those who can't read words. All good news I think you'll agree. However there is one dissenting voice to be heard amongst the genuinely warm welcomes.I spoke to a Mr Big O'Ttedtwat earlier. This is what he had to say. "Bloody coming over here, stealing all our beige. It's a disgrace." A lone voice in the sea of open arms there.Meanwhile, back here at the AS border crossing, after visiting passport control all new members are subjected to a rigorous assimilation program before being allowed to mingle with the masses.It is understood warnings are also being issued that there is no turning back. Ever. Once here, you are all . . . . cms206, DSdriver, Alan_Green and 22 others 25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cms206 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Welcome newbies; a disappointing lack of Volvos but as mine are currently 75% dead a Transit like JohnK's would be ideal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Haha, that Transit recovery truck looks qual. I had a similar Mk3 beavertail, though luckily I had slide away ramps with it. My first was a Mk2 and I had to put the ramps on the back (like yours) which was an effing nightmare. Anyway, if you ever decide to sell it, John, drop me a pm, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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