What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[DS20]

You are now entering a staid, not-really-threatening Welsh version of the Twilight Zone:  

 

 

[MrDuke]

That's actually quite helpful - half the B-road junctions in Wales aren't signposted at all.

 

Bonus fact: Technically there's no 'J' in the Welsh alphabet (along with K, Q, V, X and Z) so feel free to point that out to anyone called Jones next time you're here.

[inconsistant]

Next week I'm going to be driving through Wankdorf.

[catsinthewelder]

There's a hill near Hay on Wye called Lord Herefords Knob.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Next week I'm going to be driving through Wankdorf.

Famous for:

 

http://www.espnfc.com/story/337901

[320touring]

Our train operator has changed-first day of the contract is today.

 

My morning ticket purchase went thusly:

 

Says i to the conductress "how you getting on wi the new bosses?"

 

Says she to i "ahv no met any of them yet.."

 

Says i to her "whits to say ahm no wan?"

 

Says she to i " ..........."

 

Says i to her "april fools"

 

[M'coli]

What not to say: "Hey, what's with the dodgy 70s porno accent?"

[320touring]

What not to say: "Hey, what's with the dodgy 70s porno accent?"

Dat is pure the latest vernacular aroon these perts.

 

Read it like a weegie NED rather than Shauh Shaunnery:)

[oldcars]

I wish I could find the charger for my Motorola flip-phone. It cost about £30 ten years ago, and doesn't even have a camera. I adore it.

Is it a V50? They are ace.

[andy18s]

Is it a V50? They are ace.

I've got a Razr kicking about the place somwhere. ..

[Pillock]

I wish I could find the charger for my Motorola flip-phone. It cost about £30 ten years ago, and doesn't even have a camera. I adore it.

If you let me know what phone it is, I've got a shed load of old chargers here including moto, for phones that have long since met their maker. If I can match it, it's yours.

[MrDuke]

If you let me know what phone it is, I've got a shed load of old chargers here including moto, for phones that have long since met their maker. If I can match it, it's yours.

Very good of you sir - it's a W220, takes a small round charge plug.

[Pillock]

I'll have a dig through the cupboard later and see..... 

[dave21478]

Petrol station rage provided interesting entertainment this morning.

 

I was waiting in line and the lane opposite mine had some woman with an "Im more important than all of you" attitude and an X5 parked far enough over to block the lane next to her as well. She was standing at the pump repeatedly lifting the nozzle and putting it back, obviously annoyed that it wasnt starting up, all the while chatting on her phone. The guy behind her started beeping which she ignored. I am going to assume that she is an engineer at Airbus and was talking to a pilot on board a crippled airliner, guiding him through emergency landing procedures or something similarly important. She was getting more and more annoyed by the pump not starting and the guy behind was beeping and shouting at her which was annoying her even more. Not enough to put her phone down, mind.

I guess this station doesnt have a tannoy system as eventually the dude came out of the booth, walked half way across the forecourt and did that thing where he was actually bent right over at the waist shouting at the top of his voice "PUT THE BLOODY PHONE DOWN".

She burst out crying at this point, and just sat on the ground. The guy just shrugged and wandered back into the booth and the cars behind her backed up and joined different queues. Dunno what happened after than, I filled up and left.

[Pillock]

I hope she's still there.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I smile every time I see someone picking up the poo from their dog, placing it in a neat little bag then often putting it in their pocket.

 

Its good they don`t leave it there but I mean, who is the dog and who is the master? If an alien were to land on earth and see that he would surely think the dog is the superior being???

 

No idea where my cat shits by the way

[oldcars]

I've got a Razr kicking about the place somwhere. ..

Me too, the silver one, smart bit of kit.

[vulgalour]

Who puts a bag of dog poo in their pocket?  WHO?  I hope that's an April Fools statement or something.

[Asimo]

They don't pocket poo bags around here. They tie it up neatly and then drop the shit-bag. At least un-bagged shit rots away quickly.

[Luckythirteen]

Dat is pure the latest vernacular aroon these perts.

 

Read it like a weegie NED rather than Shauh Shaunnery:)

Haw! Whit's wie youse posh cunts an yir big moters? Hink ye know it dint ye? Goat ony jellies by ra way?

/ned mode.

[320touring]

Haw! Whit's wie youse posh cunts an yir big moters? Hink ye know it dint ye? Goat ony jellies by ra way?

/ned mode.

Ah only sell the skag oot the jag pal. Needte wait furra durty furty tae be back onna road afore a dae the disco biskuts anna jellies again.

 

Tenners bag as per,chief?

[nacho man]

 

Driving this.

 

Just makes you wanna go, BWAARRRPPP!!!!

[Inspector Morose]

Just back from the jewellery quarter to pick up new wedding ring (no 2 of no doubt many - same wife different rings). Just as I park up the astate and get out to pay for parking a brand new 7series pulls up alongside and opens their window. Inside the little old Asian lady reaches out and gives me her ticket with some time left "here, might as well use this save paying"

 

Right cheered me up, that did. Oh and new ring! Yay!

[cms206]

In work til 2300. The 2015 EuroVision entries are on Youtube.

Tonight has just suddenly become much, much better

[purplebargeken]

Checking out the ads on ebay, this caught my attention.

 

 'stainless steel cat cack exhaust'

 

I laughed. 

[Luckythirteen]

Ah only sell the skag oot the jag pal. Needte wait furra durty furty tae be back onna road afore a dae the disco biskuts anna jellies again.

 

Tenners bag as per,chief?

Aye nae danger pal. Thae eccies ye selt ma cousin were Smarties, wint they? That an yer maws daein slates for a twenty. Blaw n buckie fur me the night...

[MrDuke]

The story was almost as funny as the fact that all petrol stations everywhere persist in banning mobiles, despite there being no shred of scientific evidence linking them to explosive incidents.

[nacho man]

 

Tasty

[Luckythirteen]

But there might be! Maybe! My brother's mate's cousin heard about this guy who...

 

Mind you I still wouldn't like to be the one person to generate the evidence.

[Skizzer]

The story was almost as funny as the fact that all petrol stations everywhere persist in banning mobiles, despite there being no shred of scientific evidence linking them to explosive incidents.

 

Isn't the point that mobiles interfere with the radio signal between the pumps and the control kit inside the shop, rather than OMG Health and Safety Gone Mad?  Which would also explain why Ms Asshole wasn't getting any fuel.