What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Richard]

Yeah but did anyone see the link on the Notts Post website to this sad story...

 

 

 

http://www.nottinghampost.com/Couple-return-holiday-grass-street-cut-different/story-19155350-detail/story.html

 

First world problems, etc.

 

You should submit that to Angry People In Local Newspapers http://apiln.blogspot.co.uk/

[inconsistant]

You do it, I'm too busy cutting the grass verge outside my house

[Craig the Princess]

I tell you what else makes me grin... the comments section of that grass story. It's almost actually is actually better than here. 

 

Yes, like this

 

Samuel1948  |  June 17 2013, 1:52PM

I don't understand why councils can't coordinate this kind of thing. Apart from the obvious upset that this has caused these pensioners who have a life time of paying their rates behind them there is the safety aspect that is being woefully ignored. These are verges on the public highway. Different lengthed grass could be confusing to motorists for them to judge how close they are to either side of the road. For instance, I recently had a collision with a child's small truck where I didn't realise it was small and therefore much closer than I assumed (thinking it was a normal sized truck but much further away). I mounted the pavement that the child had thoughtlessly left his toy on, crushed it and caused some unsightly scratching to the underside of my car.

[TimothyClaypole]

There's only one game with a low enough age rating that the kiddie could possibly play for a start.... then again I'm guessing no one said anything when his mum was up the duff while under aged... 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

His mum's probably in her 50's

[DeeJay]

Another 10 years and soft lad will probably be a grandad.  

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I woke up at 4.30 this morning with a belting headache. Spent until about 1pm chundering and intermittently sleeping. Spent most of the rest of the day surfing eBay looking for shite and posting the KEY SHITE FINDS on here. Its actually turned into a decent day all things considered.

[Craig the Princess]

It makes me an arsehole I know but I love the reaction of the paramedic 5 minutes in

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7-hKkwh6dA

[cobblers]

I'm going to watch ALL OF THOSE above videos. Ta craig! PS you have a wing for my mate, OK if he sorts a courier out or something?

[Craig the Princess]

I love that video, I bought a DVD of it on ebay (part 3 is missing on youtube).

 

Yes, just drop me a pm and I'll get it wrapped up.

[TimothyClaypole]

Merry Christmas to me.

 

 

 

 

 

(I don't drink spirits so it's going in the cupboard for a while).

[phil_lihp]

[chaseracer]

Musical Offspring now has guaranteed conditional offers from both Birmingham Conservatoire and the Royal Northern College of Music.

This means I will have no money for the rest of my life and beyond, but I don't care - I couldn't be more chuffed if I'd been given a free gold-plated Vanden Plas 1500...

 

[jmsguzzi]

[daveb47]

Just upgraded tapatalk so hopefully it should work better.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Tapatalk's great. I like getting Autoshite notifications. 

[daveb47]

Just collected this for my son,paid £1750 for it.

He has wanted one for years

 

 

 

Drives brilliantly

[vulgalour]

[hairnet]

dave you said you wanted auto dont give it him back

[daveb47]

dave you said you wanted auto dont give it him back

I have use of the Mercedes if he aint using it or his 2011 bmw 1 series coupe when he is.(dont like driving either of them tbh)

Think honda has sold on ebay so still looking for smallest (cheapest insurance)auto i can find but in no rush now.

[Cavcraft]

What engine is in that Dave?

[daveb47]

2.3 supercharged,dont half go....

Just spent an hour playing with roof.

[Cavcraft]

I know theyre a bit old bloke trying to hold on to his youth but i quite like these.

My mate had got an SL (!) a sort of bigger version of this and its a 3.5 I think. Its fucking class, shit loads nicer than a BM or Porsche.

[wackywacerwill]

Scrawled in the road grime on the back of a once was white busted up transit connect;

 

'I'm a dirty bitch, shit on my tits'

[morris_ital_lover]

 

Stretched tyres, an absolutely fabulous* idea, especially when you are going to be maxing your car out on a dyno.

[hairnet]

and a free angle grind of his rimzorz

 

hahaha

[Mr Livered]

A while back there was a conversation somewhere on here about people disapproving of overtaking. Was it someone's mussus who thinks it's always bad to overtake anyone else, regardless of the circumstances? I can't remember, but anyway

 

Today I was driving home behind a fairly slow car, doing about 40mph on the straight bits of a decent A road near here. When there was a big long straight bit, with excellent visibility, I pulled out and overtook - a fairly everyday manoeuvre I thought. As I passed I could see the driver: a middle-aged lady, looking very middle-class, prim and proper etc. I gunned the engine and pulled away - it was totally safe, not another car in sight and I could see for at least half a mile ahead.

 

Anyway, I looked at her in my rear view mirror and she was apoplectic with rage, jumping around in her seat and making the international "wanker" gesture at me. I can only assume that she was one of those "all overtaking is bad" people.

 

Oh fuck... I tell ya, the manoeuvre in itself was 100% safe, but when I saw her in the mirror I nearly went in the ditch, I was pissing myself laughing so much. This woman was the last person on earth you'd expect to be making a wanker sign, it would be less of a shock to get mooned by the queen.

[Junkman]

You know how it goes.

Everyone driving slower than me is an idiot, everyone driving faster than me is a lunatic.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Okay, here's a really esoteric tip which I don't expect many people to give a shit about but here it is anyway. 
 
If you've got a Mac running 10.9, here's how to find people's locations on eBay a bit easier. 
 
1: Open Automator (Applications > Other > Automator)
2: Choose new Service
3: Change Service receives text in Any Application to Service receives text in Safari
4: Add a Run Shell Script action from the menu on the left
5: Paste the following into it:

# sed - put commas at the end of every line in stdin
# awk - pass to awk to remove the linefeeds
# sed - remove the comma from the last line
# sed - turn all spaces into pluses
address=`sed -e "s/$/,/g" | awk '{ str1=str1 $0 " "}END{ print str1 }' | sed -e "s/, $//g" | sed -e "s/ /\+/g"`
open "maps://maps.apple.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=$address"

6: Save that as MapSearcher or whatever you like. 
7: (optional step) To add a keyboard shortcut, go to System Preferences > Keyboard > Shortcuts > App Shortcuts and click the plus button to give it a keyboard shortcut.

 

8: Now if you highlight a bit of text and right click it, you should have this in your services menu:

 

9: ...so now you can highlight any place name or postcode, mash your keyboard shortcut and it will open in Maps. 

 

 

Like I said, I don't expect this to be of use to many on here, but it's really handy to have a 'where the hell is that' shortcut when on eBay etc. 

[dugong]

If it works for you!

I don't do Macs, they infuriate me. 

Got the standard lecture yesterday from the crew about how I was 'mad' not to use Apple products because they 'just work'. 
Mid-treatise the MacBook we'd gathered around crashed. We were watching the rushes and it froze. I really am stunned Macs can't read the AVCHD codec natively. Of course, this wasn't the fault of the hardware, the apologists cried - it's the format. 

Yeah, because MTS files are a well obscure file type that nothing* can read, absolutely not.

My oft-slated netbook managed them just fine. I've seen Macs struggle to read CDs before, so I wasn't that surprised. 

 

I have to admit, it was beautiful the way they railed against me and had to eat their words about ten minutes later. I've said this about Macs \ AVCHD for oooh, three years now? Yeah, yeah - I know Apple pulled out of the professional market when they abandoned Final Cut Pro X but it's still a poor effort. You know what editors love doing? Spending even more hours in the suite transcoding MTS files in Streamclipper \ Toast. It gives them more time to stare at the beautiful white bezels on their machines. 

Best not mention the repeated reception \ silent call issues the cast experienced with their iPhone 5s either.**.