What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

Came out of Morrisons earlier and ended up in an accidental Autoshite convoy behind a Mk1 Renault Espace which was in turn behind a Bambi camper. Awesomes.

[Pillock]

Aaah well Mrs Pillock has just pur-chased a car from Available Car. With my full support.

You walk in, you walk around, you can sit in the lot and walk away if you want. You don't even see a salesman unless you go indoors, and then you have to ask, and even wait.

Test drive as many as you want.

 

She chose a Touran for the space - we do a lot of camping, and she carries around a crapload of folders, bags and stuff to the point that it was actually too much to go in a Focus boot.

We drove one, we walked away, we had a look at prices. Restricting it to dealers, since we had a crap Focus to get rid of via part-ex, Available Car was bang on price. Exactly the same sort of prices as everyone from little backstreet traders to large franchises. And I really can't fault the service apart from the slightly smarmy nature of the salesman. After we'd agreed to the purchase, it went a little like...

 

"Would you like a warranty?"

"No."

"How about our fancy paintwork treatment?"

"No".

"Anything else?

"Yeah, it's due a cambelt and can you check the service"

 

Man wanders off and returns with the service history of the car. He tells us the exact mileage it's due a service at (still got 14k left on 20k longlife) and tells me he's glad I noticed the cambelt interval so they'll get it booked in for one.

 

Really can't fault them. It was a really nice experience. No hard sale at all and I know the deal buying from dealers, if it wasn't fit for sale it goes back to them and if it's something that's happened since, that's why they offer warranties which are also available elsewhere.

[Cavcraft]

Nice one Pillock, that sort of thing must be quite rare now.

[willswitchengage]

Looking for cats on Gumtree, this picture made me smile:

 

 

Weird advert though, is someone looking for somebody to houseshare with... and to help with her leap of faith she simply posted pictures of her two felines.

 

[Mr Lobster]

It is deeply unusual for me to defend the Scottish purveyor of motor vehicles but I shall. A bit anyway.

 

AC and CarCraft / MotorPoint etc work on the old pile 'em high & sell cheap approach. This does tend to attract the bottom end of the market who can only just about afford the car in question. This does tend to mean that either know fuckall about what they are buying or are just plain stupid and do expect to buy a car and then never spend any money on it ever again or have no idea what they actually want / need and let the salesman sell them whatever suits him most. And thats where the problems start...

 

A lot of ACs used car stock (and Motorpoint come to that) are ex daily rental which in itself is no bad thing and the majority are fine. You get the odd bad one but thats the same as any big dealer group. The problems tend to be that staff turnover from salesmen to sales managers to dealer principles in incredible. I knew one branch that went through 14 general managers in about 18 months. They were under a lot of pressure and much of the senior management were very poor at managing and motivating their staff.

 

I saw a comment somewhere about spare keys and having to pay extra for them at AC. This is very true. They already have them but like to charge a bit extra for them when sold. Or certainly did. A few years back I took responsibility for an empty showroom and contents as part of a big move around. Poking around in boxes we found THOUSANDS of spare keys, all tagged up with reg numbers and the like from three different (now closed) branches.

 

You can do well with these type of places though as Pillock says. A friend bought a six month old Hyundai from Motorpoint. Its ex Enterprise Rent a Car but its low mileage, mint and was cheap. She paid cash and didn't bother with any of the extras either and got a decent deal. My only objection to MotorPoint is how they charge £15 to fit new reg plates with their logo despite it already having a perfectly acceptable pair fitted.

[dollywobbler]

^^^ Cat says "Turn this bloody awful TV show off! It offends my ears."

[Pillock]

Touran came with two keys, and they do show the number of keys on the website for each car along with service history etc.

It's ex-TSB Motorlease so it'll have been a company car, meaning serviced on the dot and didn't want for anything. Done 60k at 4 years old which is acceptable and doesn't lead me to think it was a hire car.

 

You're bang on though, if you go in knowing chuff all about cars you will probably get stung. Their assistants seem to be employed on charm rather than mechanical knowledge, they didn't try and explain anything about the car at all - I suppose it's a mixture of having to deal with all makes and models, no support from manufacturers, and most people do their research online first.

 

The only attempt at hard sell was for the warranty... which Mrs Pillock cut short by telling the guy she was going to take it to get remapped, and asked if that would invalidate it. He shut up then. This was after I'd asked what colours they did them in, because he annoyed us both by assuming I was doing the talking. I'm skint mate, she's got the cash!

[cort16]

Mr Lobster I think you're right about AC. If you check their prices they're seriously competitive and you do get genuine bargains as I think they run a pretty ruthless stock turn over policy. The problem does seem to be with the staff as a lot of them don't seem to be trained or particularly motivated. There's a big AC at Linwood and they used to have bill board outside that said "Sales Staff wanted, no experience necessary", which gives isn't exactly going to attract top sales staff.

They rely on their prices for return trade rather than customer service where as other garages will charge a bit more but offer better customer service.

[MrDuke]

They rely on their prices for return trade rather than customer service where as other garages will charge a bit more but offer better customer service.

 

 

No national company is actually going to care whether or not they're customers are unhappy. The branch employees' wages have no connection to local customer's satisfaction, and head office will file most complaints in the nearest bin. Local independent garages depend on their reputation for the owners' (and employees') livelihoods, they literally can't afford for anyone to be spreading bad reports or taking them to court for thousands.

[ashmicro]

My parents flew out to Laaaaaaandon this morning. They have been invited to a Celebration of the 350th Anniversary of The Book Of Common Prayer in St Pauls Cathedral tomorrow night. They're going to another "Cathedral*" too:

 

Wembley

 

Dad's got them tickets for The FA Cup Final, and Mum doesn't know yet. My Dad couldn't tell you whether a football is blew up or stuffed, and cares even less, but my Mum, like me, is a MASSIVE Chelsea fan. I can't go as I have things to do here in Belfast on Friday, but I was at the Final when the current Chelsea manager scored the winner. . 44 years together and my Dad's still surprising Mum.

[Pete-M]

I put my Czech trip back a day so I can watch Liverpool beat 'em.

[Cavcraft]

I put my Czech trip back a day so I can watch Liverpool beat 'em.

 

I'd have w word with your mechanic, Pete. I know it's taking a while to sort the Escort but can you really wait until 2024?

 

Andy: Lucky sod, it'll be brilliant to be there. I've been to Wembley (old and new) but there were only about 5,00 fans at the new place as it was Corinthians Vs AFC Wimbledon. Hell of a stadium though, rip-off parking/food/merchandise aside of course.

[ashmicro]

No parking required Billy, and I got a pretty sweet deal - I get to drive Dad's XF while they're away - just so the battery doesn't go flat, you understand If Mum doesn't lose her voice in St Paul's, she'll go hoarse at Wembley. See? My Dad is a smart man

[outlaw118]

Not entirely sure whether this should go in grump or grin....

 

Visited a punter on Monday, owes £350ish, last six month bill £125ish.

I approached the visit as i do any other, nice and friendly like, punter starts to argue the toss "I've got a payment arrangement, £10 per month" . I explain that 1) We've received fuck all since January, and 2) £10pm is not sufficient, needs to be upped...

 

He then went COMPLETELY SHOUTY SWEARY MENTAL accused me of "looking at him funny" and being a "agressive bully" and he's "Not going to have this fucking conversation on my fucking doorstep". I asked politely where he would like to have this conversation (Don't you find that being extra polite just winds them up more) to which he replied "FUCK OFF!! FUCK OFF!! yOU'RE HARRASSING ME!!!

I then decided to fuck off as requested, but advised that he'll have to speak to me again once I've got a distress warrant in my hand and a BIG van.

Door was then slammed.

 

Googled his name just now.....he's got a facebook profile with lots of pictures of him in the classic bodybuilders pose, you know, sweaty looking, veins all sticking up and a tiny cock.

I'm thinking steroids or penis envy?

 

(facebook link available on request....pm me!!!

[Negative Creep]

Not entirely sure whether this should go in grump or grin....

 

Visited a punter on Monday, owes £350ish, last six month bill £125ish.

I approached the visit as i do any other, nice and friendly like, punter starts to argue the toss "I've got a payment arrangement, £10 per month" . I explain that 1) We've received fuck all since January, and 2) £10pm is not sufficient, needs to be upped...

 

He then went COMPLETELY SHOUTY SWEARY MENTAL accused me of "looking at him funny" and being a "agressive bully" and he's "Not going to have this fucking conversation on my fucking doorstep". I asked politely where he would like to have this conversation (Don't you find that being extra polite just winds them up more) to which he replied "FUCK OFF!! FUCK OFF!! yOU'RE HARRASSING ME!!!

I then decided to fuck off as requested, but advised that he'll have to speak to me again once I've got a distress warrant in my hand and a BIG van.

Door was then slammed.

 

Googled his name just now.....he's got a facebook profile with lots of pictures of him in the classic bodybuilders pose, you know, sweaty looking, veins all sticking up and a tiny cock.

I'm thinking steroids or penis envy?

 

(facebook link available on request....pm me!!!

 

 

He's probably posting on that Consumer Rights forum as we speak.

 

 

In other news

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... years.html

[willswitchengage]

In other news

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... years.html

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... b-hit.html

 

The Sun presents "news", half a decade after the meme started.

[Negative Creep]

In other news

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... years.html

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... b-hit.html

 

The Sun presents "news", half a decade after the meme started.

 

 

And inadvertently create a new one thanks to the requisite indignant mother shot

 

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... ption.html

 

[Pete-M]

This is most excellent.

[michiel]

Nice. I could watch that all day, even though I know what's coming in a minute...

[Pillock]

Whilst I don't find it amusing that the downs girl has had her picture used like that, it's about time people understood a few things about the internet.

 

1. Everything you put on the internet immediately stops being under your control.

2. Right-clicking, saving as, and then using it as parody or review is not "stealing". It's even allowed under copyright law.

c. If you make a fuss about OMG THEY STOLE MY PICTURE, it'll become bigger than you can ever imagine. See the "Steisand Effect". The mother actually seems surprised that Facebook couldn't give a stuff, with their billions of users.

iv. The internet is not full of rose petals, fluffy kittens and Bambi. There are horrible people out there.

5. Pictures of indignant mothers, often pointing, will always be funny

[cms206]

Had a few issues with AC and Kwik Fit myself, though in both cases to do with Motability cars - I wouldn't buy from them myself.

 

A mate went to Arnold with a very broken E30 318is looking to swap for a Focus or similar; they offered £250 trade in for the BMW, and the only Focii in his price range were early facelift Mk2s on 57/08-plates with upwards of 80k on the clock. They all looked rough as arses. I went round with him, tried various branches and I started to get really hacked off with salesmen who were pushy and came across as very know-it-all. One even tried to sell me a car but seemed put off when I explained that the car I drive cost less than the monthly payment on a 3-year old Focus and it was probably more reliable.

 

In the end I stopped at Phoenix Kia on South Street in Glasgow after threatening to strangle a salesman and my mate got an ex Motability pre-facelift 08-plate Focus 1.6 Zetec with the Sony stereo system, 16k on the clock, nice colour, all but perfect bodily for less than a 1.6 Style with more miles and a year older at Arnold Clark across the road.

 

 

My mate's clearly a moron as he deemed the Focus too expensive to run, went to Arnold Clark six months later and bought a 59-plate 36k mile debadged Renault Clio 1.2 Turbo with a dented bootlid and non-standard alloys.

 

 

I will continue to buy cars from here I suspect, because they tend not to be absolutely humped. Even if they are they've at least got character and are at throw-away money.

[cms206]

Grump? Grin? I don't actually know what the fuck to file this under as I'm not entirely sure of it's meaning...

 

 

http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/campaigns/10-top-tips-to-end-rape/

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

My dad's mission to turn a week long trip in Spain into the most expensive endeavour since Apollo 11 has probably peaked with the purchase of a self published 144 page book from Amazon called 'Motoring in Spain' (pretty much the Spanish highway code in English) for the phenomenal sum of £28. I do not believe it contains any relevant information not available on the internet.

 

On the plus side if he needs to put his Hertz Golf though the Spanish MOT during its five day hire, he has a useful guide book.

[TimothyClaypole]

The two wannabe hard men "twoc'ers" on Traffic Cops crying because the Police Dog has bitten them.

[Albert Ross]

The two wannabe hard men "twoc'ers" on Traffic Cops crying because the Police Dog has bitten them.

 

I still have tears in my eyes over that one.....

[mattblack]

Finishing this has made me grin.

 

 

Started on a '72 Olds Cutlass now...

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

That is fab! Love the detail, especially the little sticker in the rear window.

[willswitchengage]

Well done! Scale? Manufacturer?

[DSdriver]

Wow, I had to look twice before I realised it was a model. Perhaps we should do scaled down versions of the AS sticker

[morris_ital_lover]

Well done! Scale? Manufacturer?

 

at looks to be te 1/24 reell one, (some letters are wont work and I an't find out wy/fukin dell)