What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Mr A Lawrence]

Had my mondeo on eBay for the last 5 days.

 

One guy contacted me to view and said he was very keen but then baulked as he couldn't insure it for his lad so no go.

 

Last night a woman came to view, brought her brother mechanic to check it over and took it round the block. 

 

Had it up for £1250.

 

Haggling went like this...

 

Her, I like it, would you take a grand for it?

 

Me, no, I can't take that big a hit on it. (Nearly said £1100)

 

Her, OK  £1250 it is. 

 

Ebay has redeemed it's self!!

[PhilA]

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.

How quaint.

 

Phil

[andy18s]

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Is it the AS members list of signed up autobots?

[anonymous user]

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

 

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Why did you not use the nodding bird? It worked so well for Homer Simpson .

 

You aren't working at GCHQ by any chance, are you?

[richardmorris]

I may be in this month’s practical classics.

[SiC]

That is some JPEG artificating in that picture! It's like being back on the internet in 2001, while on freeserve dialup.

[richardmorris]

Dollywobbler is looking a bit rough these days...

AFA13570-A255-4C53-9992-0122C4DBACAE.jpeg

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

[wuvvum]

On a 'couldn't get the phone out fast enough' moment. A gen-yew-whine Bugatti Veyron just trundled past. Surprisingly quieter than I'd have thought....... but great to see it being used on a normal road by some guy who obviously is winning at something. Kids at lights were going mental so he blapped it a bit...... my bits fizzed

Only time I've ever seen a Veyron on the road was about 9 years ago in a particularly wealthy part of Surrey.  It was waiting at a set of lights on a NSL dual carriageway.  Behind it was a late '80s Porsche 91, and behind that was me in a 1983 Renault 5 TL.

 

Lights went green, all three of us nailed it, and I was honestly closer to staying with the 911 in my 1108cc Renault than he was to keeping up with the Bugatti.  Extraordinary machine.

[richardmorris]

And from p eye today...

[Guest Hooli]

[anonymous user]

So I did, she's called Broadband Internet Connection

[Parky]

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

 

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

 

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

[wuvvum]

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

[Parky]

You forgot about the superbly designed boats and the epic poetry

[dollywobbler]

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

 

I just know him as 'Hairy Dave...'

[oldcars]

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to Central's TV studio in Leeds.

 

 

 

FIFY. You can't beat a bit of bully.

[adw1977]

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

Excel will accept just over a million lines of data. I think Access will take more but I've always found that a pain to work with.

[Parky]

Tried breaking it into four separate sheets with half a million numbers in each.

 

Still tripping over itself non stop so have reverted to the mark one eyeball. Tedious but workIng. Have decided to get myself a number checked each day, make those calls, and then check the next batch ready for the next day and so on.

[PhilA]

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

 

You need to upgrade

[Aston Martin]

Wow... this was an Ambassador.

 

[Cavcraft]

Things that don't make sense, part no. 1,345:  A ship (presumably) full of Spanish cement heading towards Manchester on the MSC, today.

 

 

[PhilA]

 

Planted these 3 weeks ago. Now I have my first teeny tiny squash growing.

 

Phil

[Joey spud]

 

Lifted the bonnet on a 2009 kA earlier.

 

Nice to see Ford have got on top of their rusty small car concerns.

[Aston Martin]

IMG-20180511-WA0002.jpg

Lifted the bonnet on a 2009 kA earlier.

Nice to see Ford have got on top of their rusty small car concerns.

It’s a Fiat 500

[Joey spud]

Yep both built at the same plant in Poland.

[Joey spud]

 

And this doesn't look iffy at all.

[Aston Martin]

IMG-20180516-WA0003.jpg

And this doesn't look iffy at all.

 

Lol

[DodgeRover]

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

 

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Couldn't you have written a script to import it into excel automatically? Notepad format is pretty basic.

[DodgeRover]

IMG-20180516-WA0003.jpg

 

And this doesn't look iffy at all.

What's the story with that? The second one looks well done for a restamp and leaving the original one on is just down right odd.

[Joey spud]

No idea a colleague spotted it yesterday.

 

Begs the question what happens come mot day ??