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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

outlaw118

By outlaw118
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Mr A Lawrence Rank: Citroen Ami

Mr A Lawrence

Posted
Posted

Had my mondeo on eBay for the last 5 days.

 

One guy contacted me to view and said he was very keen but then baulked as he couldn't insure it for his lad so no go.

 

Last night a woman came to view, brought her brother mechanic to check it over and took it round the block. 

 

Had it up for £1250.

 

Haggling went like this...

 

Her, I like it, would you take a grand for it?

 

Me, no, I can't take that big a hit on it. (Nearly said £1100)

 

Her, OK  £1250 it is. 

 

Ebay has redeemed it's self!!

PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 17:30, somewhatfoolish said:

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.

How quaint.

 

Phil

andy18s Rank: Lancia Gamma

andy18s

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 08:50, Parky said:

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Is it the AS members list of signed up autobots?

anonymous user Rank: Isuzu Florian

anonymous user

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 08:50, Parky said:

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

 

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Why did you not use the nodding bird? It worked so well for Homer Simpson .

 

You aren't working at GCHQ by any chance, are you?

post-3477-0-29976400-1526495769_thumb.gif

  • Parky, somewhatfoolish and HarmonicCheeseburger
  • Like 3
richardmorris Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

richardmorris

Posted
Posted

I may be in this month’s practical classics.

post-8687-0-72805900-1526500555_thumb.jpeg

SiC Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

SiC

Posted
Posted

That is some JPEG artificating in that picture! It's like being back on the internet in 2001, while on freeserve dialup.

  • LightBulbFun
  • Like 1
wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 10:36, Exiled_Tat_Gatherer said:

On a 'couldn't get the phone out fast enough' moment. A gen-yew-whine Bugatti Veyron just trundled past. Surprisingly quieter than I'd have thought....... but great to see it being used on a normal road by some guy who obviously is winning at something. Kids at lights were going mental so he blapped it a bit...... my bits fizzed

Only time I've ever seen a Veyron on the road was about 9 years ago in a particularly wealthy part of Surrey.  It was waiting at a set of lights on a NSL dual carriageway.  Behind it was a late '80s Porsche 91, and behind that was me in a 1983 Renault 5 TL.

 

Lights went green, all three of us nailed it, and I was honestly closer to staying with the 911 in my 1108cc Renault than he was to keeping up with the Bugatti.  Extraordinary machine.

  • Exiled_Tat_Gatherer, catsinthewelder, cobblers and 1 other
  • Like 4
Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 17:59, Tayne said:

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

 

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

 

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 20:26, richardmorris said:

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

  • purplebargeken, AlabamaShrimp and richardmorris
  • Like 3
Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

You forgot about the superbly designed boats and the epic poetry

dollywobbler Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

dollywobbler

Posted
Posted
  On 17/05/2018 at 07:28, wuvvum said:

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

 

I just know him as 'Hairy Dave...'

  • richardmorris
  • Like 1
oldcars Rank: Lancia Gamma

oldcars

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 15:42, Cavcraft said:

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to Central's TV studio in Leeds.

 

 

 32644690_1829144854048129_10597764586641

FIFY. You can't beat a bit of bully.

adw1977 Rank: Renault 16

adw1977

Posted
Posted
  On 17/05/2018 at 06:56, Parky said:

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

Excel will accept just over a million lines of data. I think Access will take more but I've always found that a pain to work with.

Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

Tried breaking it into four separate sheets with half a million numbers in each.

 

Still tripping over itself non stop so have reverted to the mark one eyeball. Tedious but workIng. Have decided to get myself a number checked each day, make those calls, and then check the next batch ready for the next day and so on.

post-3538-0-64495600-1526570466_thumb.jpeg

  • somewhatfoolish
  • Like 1
PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted
  On 17/05/2018 at 06:56, Parky said:

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

visicalc-primera-hoja-de-calculo.jpg

 

You need to upgrade

  • Datsuncog, clayts450 and myglaren
  • Like 3
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Things that don't make sense, part no. 1,345:  A ship (presumably) full of Spanish cement heading towards Manchester on the MSC, today.

 

 

32918587_1829655947330353_36214800928588

PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted

post-5454-0-23588700-1526577764_thumb.jpg

 

Planted these 3 weeks ago. Now I have my first teeny tiny squash growing.

 

Phil

  • vulgalour, eddyramrod and richardmorris
  • Like 3
Joey spud Rank: Renault 16

Joey spud

Posted
Posted

post-5233-0-45003800-1526578713_thumb.jpg

 

Lifted the bonnet on a 2009 kA earlier.

 

Nice to see Ford have got on top of their rusty small car concerns.

Aston Martin Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Aston Martin

Posted
Posted
  On 17/05/2018 at 17:39, Joey spud said:

attachicon.gifIMG-20180511-WA0002.jpg

Lifted the bonnet on a 2009 kA earlier.

Nice to see Ford have got on top of their rusty small car concerns.

It’s a Fiat 500

  • wrenchvolt and cobblers
  • Like 2
DodgeRover Rank: Talbot Tagora

DodgeRover

Posted
Posted
  On 16/05/2018 at 08:50, Parky said:

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

 

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Couldn't you have written a script to import it into excel automatically? Notepad format is pretty basic.

DodgeRover Rank: Talbot Tagora

DodgeRover

Posted
Posted
  On 17/05/2018 at 17:51, Joey spud said:

IMG-20180516-WA0003.jpg

 

And this doesn't look iffy at all.

What's the story with that? The second one looks well done for a restamp and leaving the original one on is just down right odd.

Joey spud Rank: Renault 16

Joey spud

Posted
Posted

No idea a colleague spotted it yesterday.

 

Begs the question what happens come mot day ??

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