What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

You guys turning a shitty, shitty day into a brilliant day.  That and the entire house smelling of chocolate muffins courtesy of Mike and the oven.

[Cavcraft]

That's a bit off, I reckon I'm about as famous as Rusty Lee these days.

 

 

 

Go to your local Jag dealer tomorrow and find out. Start with the line 'I'm as famous as Rusty Lee and I claim my free Jaguar' and let us know how much they laughed  you got on.

[Pillock]

I don't know where the Jag dealer is round here, so I can't. 

 

So I emailed them instead.

 

 

 

Dear Sirs/Madams

 

I write with reference to some information that I was reliably passed (specifically, from a man on an internet forum) which is that you recently gifted a new vehicle to Rusty Lee, beloved television entertainer from the 1980s.

 

Now I want you to understand I have no problem with this process, or indeed the choice of person. Rusty was a true personality, and a day rarely went by without her beaming smile wearing through the phosphors on your TV screen, and that laugh. Yes, THAT laugh. We all know it's incredibly difficult to choose a 1980s celebrity these days without the risk of having to ditch them hurridly, and I think you've got a winner there. Even if she has got a slightly ironic name for a car manufacturer.

 

However, a delve into Wikipedia shows that actually her presence since 1984 has been very subtle - a couple of cookery shows, and some Channel 5 programs. I think we can probably agree that Jaguar Land Rover customers do not watch Channel 5. Almost everybody in my house just now agreed that they would not recognise her in the street (although I'm fairly poor with faces, and 50% of inhabitants were born post-2000). Which brings me to the point.

 

I have a strong suspicion that actually, I've been more active as a publicly recognisable figure than Rusty in this time. I will give you a quick run-down of this:

 

* Ranked 2nd at the World Custard Pie Throwing Championship - 2007. Footage shown on BBC Newsround, an Indian News channel and Youtube.

* I'm part of an entertainments team who dance alongside a 6ft Ant at Scouting events across Leicestershire. I'm sure I saw some TV cameras once, but I'll guarantee you that's on Youtube too.

* I nearly forgot, that Custard Pie thing was also referenced on BBC Radio 4's "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue". I'm sure you'll agree, far more target market than Channel 5.

* I went to a BTCC race once at Silverstone, and if you pause the recording you can see me sat in the stands. I was behaving perfectly.

 

So, with this in mind, I would like to generously offer my services to drive one of your vehicles to promote your brand in a similar style to Mrs Lee. I will naturally sign contracts relating to behaviour and protecting your upstanding brand. In particular, I will never mention the slightly iffy rear-window styling of the XJS.

 

I look forward to hearing from you, hopefully as you toot the horn outside my house.

 

Your servant,

 

 

PS Pretty much any vehicle is fine, but an Evoke will do if you're stuck for ideas. In some shade of brown.

[cms206]

EML has come on in a pal's Kettle powered Rover 25. Someone on his facebook has just seriously suggested that the EGR valve may need cleaned out, and to "Give it a run up the motorway".

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Helpful

[Pillock]

It'll be fine. K-Series love to get nice and hot to burn off, erm, something. Steam most likely.

[KruJoe]

[cobblers]

This new 106 gti drives like a goodun, I'm still getting over the fact that I bought a car without any MOT on it and it passed straight through without costing a penny. The seller even said "I don't think it would need anything for an MOT"

 

Anyway, it feels very fast but the speedo doesn't work. From memory they do just over 60mph in 2nd gear so on that basis I reckon I am probably going 175mph most of the time, possibly a bit more. Embarrassingy I definitely need to fix the headlights warning beeper (or fit one) cos I've left the lights and flattened the battery twice already now. The last time I had a load of gel cell racing formula one rally car golf cart batteries in the boot but no jump leads, so I had to wedge the key in the start position with my shoe and balance one of them on top of the normal battery so that the terminals touched until the engine started.

[kinkersaab]

What i do for work, the area where i live and what i come home to are all making me grin. Just been to the auctions buying some stock, in my favourite ever car, on my favourite ever road, and came home to a happy and pleased to see me mrs ks. Life is good.

[cobblers]

Thats a cracking photo man!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

nice rack as well

[HillmanImp]

After reading that, I had to look at the photo twice to realise that his wife was not in it....

[Spiny Norman]

nice rack as well

 

Fitted the right way round, too. Surprising how many people get it wrong.

Lovely car and a great photo. Aberdeenshire has some great roads.

[HH-R]

 

 

That reminded me of the video to "Confide in Me" by Kylie Minogue. I had to listen to it

[kinkersaab]

Thanks chaps. RE the rack. It is indeed fitted the right way round, however it is for the smaller boot spoilered c900. It doesn't quite clear the rubber, but near enough and i like it.

[fordperv]

My kirby lives again

 

The biggest grin of the day is that cara the German Shepherd uncovered a men's gold signet ring which has small diamonds on the face (confirmed as genuine by a jeweller), in the back yard, mrs fordperv is just in the jewellers selling it.......... Free money

[KruJoe]

I just found this year's Chumley thread, it's not actually on the main forum:

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/16950-anyone-up-for-cholmondeley-castle-31st-august/page-1

(Sunday, 31st Aug. Be there and be square.)

 

 

My diary tells me I can go (as things stand). Yay!

[hairnet]

possible old bike shitta action

 

bike in runcorn so not too bad

 

man to run 20.70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

look at the calling points and its a norwich train (!) going to liverpool

 

which passes urmston which is 5 mins in the car from here

 

then get off train at widnes and 10 mins on a bus to runcorn

 

7 quid   20 wtf hahaha and i dont have to spend 3 quid to get into manc

 

wonder if i win

[hairnet]

grin - bourne supremacy karl urban volga chase (splat)

 

then man without a face 60s yank stuff a beat up ds and a 60s gmc truck that ive wanted for 20 years

[Bobthebeard]

possible old bike shitta action

 

bike in runcorn so not too bad

 

man to run 20.70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

look at the calling points and its a norwich train (!) going to liverpool

 

which passes urmston which is 5 mins in the car from here

 

then get off train at widnes and 10 mins on a bus to runcorn

 

7 quid 20 wtf hahaha and i dont have to spend 3 quid to get into manc

 

wonder if i win

Absolutely.

Errrr.... Yes. No... Eh?

[DeeJay]

I think it's a toss up between you and TooSavvy.

[hairnet]

he can toss himself

[mat_the_cat]

I've just applied for a new job which (on paper at least) I tick *all* the boxes for, so If I don't get through for an interview I must be doing something pretty badly! It's similar pay, but it would make Lana doubly happy as not only would I be out of my existing job, I'd be into one close to her work so we could share the driving.

 

On top of that, my rebuilt distributor should be with me on Monday so I can finally drive the Stellar legally for the first time in over 10 years! Lastly, the sun is shining and I'm about to go and ride my bike

[HillmanImp]

A loads of teenagers pointed and laughed at me driving the Visa home from work tonight in Guiseley to which I retorted by shouting 'Where's your fucking car you bunch of fucking mongs'. 

 

I exude class.

[Pillock]

 

My Peugeot has a piss indicator on the dashboard.

[Bobthebeard]

Screenshot_2014-08-07-19-27-45~2.jpg

My Peugeot has a piss indicator on the dashboard.

Hahaha! Just add piss. The irony of it all......

[messerschmitt owner]

went to a pal's today. He said 'did I want some car mags?' I foolishly said 'yes!'There's quite a few! Dating back to 1968 or so, there are Car, Autocar, Motor, Classic & Sportscar, Classic Car and numerous others.

 

 

 

 

[vulgalour]

Our boiler has been fixed.  I just had the best bath in the history of everything.  I don't care about your fantasy versions of the best bath in the history of everything, this one was real and it was AMAZING.

[philibusmo]

On Saturday I'm off on easily my most ambitious chod collection mission yet.

[DVee8]

We have just been informed that we have made the finals of the North of England wedding awards again.