The new news 24 thread

[alf892]

I'm glad your all up and running again derskin .bloody strange it didn't fire on ether tho

Very often the case with indirect engines...........

[steve_earwig]

More tyre related fun.

 

Whilst I was in the butchers moaning about having to buy expensive tyres he told me a story about an old tyre place in Swadlincote...

Apparently many years ago, he went in to have a tyre replaced on some crappy bit of farm stuff that you tow.

While he was in there, a huge gang of motorcyclists turned up, pointed at the wheel of one of their massive steeds, "got one of these mate?"

No problem sir, whip off that wheel while I attend to this farm machinery

Explained to the bikers that the easiest way to get the tyre off the rim was just to cut it off, and promptly did so.

Nipped into the back to get replacement tyre and...

Emerged absolutely pissing himself with laughing, "do you know lads, I've not got one after all"

Bikers were all packed for a riding holiday and rider and his pillion had to un pack all their gear and ride pillion on a couple of their mates bikes.

Those were the days eh?

When a garage owner could upset a biking mob and not get the shit kicked out of him!

Nice stereotype that. You do realise that the vast majority of bikers aren't sociopaths don't you? They're just ordinary people like everyone else, jobs, wifes, kids, mortgages, one of the bikers I know here even has a collection of old Citroens, from 2CVs to a DS. I met the head of the Croatian Hell's Angels a couple of years back, nice guy, name of Alan, drives an old Golf.

 

Sunstitute "family of 4 on a touring holiday" for the gang of huge scary bikers in your story, how do you reckon that would've panned out?

[Tayne]

I'd be slightly afraid of anyone who carried a big enough blade to slice up a steel belted radial and had the strength to do so.

[Tayne]

Either motorbike tyres are soft as butter in comparison to car tyres or there is a whiff of exaggeration to the story.

[dave21478]

Just collected the Focus after it recently broke down with no compression on cylinder 4. End bill (as advised before work commenced): £720.

 

Where do I hand in my Autoshite members card?

 

 

You must now sell it for £450 for the full Autoshite experience.

[barefoot]

Nice stereotype that. You do realise that the vast majority of bikers aren't sociopaths don't you? 

 

Calm down Steve, it was only a story told to me by an old bloke in the butchers, it was forty odd years ago and was only intended as a bit of harmless inter web amusement - apologies to anyone else offended by my apparent ignorance and bigotry.

 

 

Either motorbike tyres are soft as butter in comparison to car tyres or there is a whiff of exaggeration to the story.

 

Similarly, of course there's exaggeration, it's a story that must have been re-told about a hundred millionty times over the years.

 

 

Anyway, without any wish to upset anyone further or to kill anymore kittens and nuns, my tyre arrived as promised.

[steve_earwig]

Gracious apology accepted. Now don't do it again of there'll be a load of big hairy bikers turn up on your doorstep

[steve_earwig]

Got some new keys cut for The Volvo today, using blanks I bought on eBay a mere TEN years ago:

 

B7ynPFiCUAA43X4.jpg

 

They work a treat

Does anyone know if it's possible to cut keys from paper templates?

[HMC]

Rattle can paint arrived today for the Rover P4 bonnet. The Wilks brothers would not be impressed. May wait a bit for things to warm up before I repaint it and it takes forever to flash off!

[overrun]

Gracious apology accepted. Now don't do it again of there'll be a load of big hairy bikers turn up on your doorstep

They're soft as shit, though.

It's been proven.

 

The tyre fitter in the story pissing himself laughing at not having the promised tyre and removing the original with his teeth, would have annoyed anyone, imo.

[Bren]

You must now sell it for £450 for the full Autoshite experience.

And replace it with something french or vauxhall.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Tried to gas weld again at college today. This is my best effort below. It's not that I'm blowing holes in the metal it's that I'm either not setting the torch up right (too hot or cold) so I don't get penetration on the other side

 

[overrun]

And replace it with something french or vauxhall.

I know of a lovely Vel Satis.

[overrun]

Tried to gas weld again at college today. This is my best effort below. It's not that I'm blowing holes in the metal it's that I'm either not setting the torch up right (too hot or cold) so I don't get penetration on the other side

20150121_132105.jpg

Don't be so hard on yourself, mate.

 

It would appear that you are Number 1.

[the judge]

Most bikers are 40-60 professionals these days. I am 38,and the guys i go to france with (despite being professionals and massive pervs) are at least 10+ years my senior. Good bunch of dudes though,but wouldnt take my mrs out with them. (She has huge bangers)

[AlabamaShrimp]

Don't be so hard on yourself, mate.

 

It would appear that you are Number 1.

Yay makes a change from being a number two

[fordperv]

AlabamaShrimp  as with anything its practice practice practice, ive never had a go at gas welding only done mig so youre better than me 

[Inspector Morose]

Gas welding is the only type of welding I can du successfully upside down (Dedra sill to floor, you know the rot spot). I got banned by SWMBO last time though as I had a drop of molten metal drip off and run down my cheek (the one on my face, thank you). Not enough room under the car to avoid it and every time I darted around to shake it off I kept trying to knock myself out on the sill. Thud, bang "ow", thud, thud, "fuck", bang, "shit, fuck", bang etc etc etc.

[dugong]

Gas welding is the only type of welding I can du successfully upside down (Dedra sill to floor, you know the rot spot). I got banned by SWMBO last time though as I had a drop of molten metal drip off and run down my cheek (the one on my face, thank you). Not enough room under the car to avoid it and every time I darted around to shake it off I kept trying to knock myself out on the sill. Thud, bang "ow", thud, thud, "fuck", bang, "shit, fuck", bang etc etc etc.

 

You forgot FUCK SHIT WANKER. 

 

Otherwise, hilarious. 

[AlabamaShrimp]

I know I'll get there in the end and need to practice more. I have a big failing where sometimes I try to run before I can walk

[Inspector Morose]

To be honest, it looks okay. What size nozzle were you using? Maybe if penetration is a problem, try the next size up? Also what's the size of the rod? Lots and lots of variables.

 

Don't do what I used to do and move my fingers,up the rod by pushing it against ones stomach. Especially when you've just welded with same rod. Cue one very nice quortarised hole in overalls, jumper, t-shirt and flesh.

[Pillock]

 Maybe if penetration is a problem, try the next size up? Also what's the size of the rod? Lots and lots of variables.

 

Don't do what I used to do and move my fingers,up the rod by pushing it against ones stomach. 

 

All of this is funny.

[Inspector Morose]

I IZ FINBARR

[AlabamaShrimp]

It was apparently a size 1 nozzle and there's no rod in that as both bits of metal were multiple tacked first that just moved the weld pool along. It's been hit after to make it flatish but had no grinding. Don't know what size rod I used on some other bits just looked the same as normal.

 

Think the guy teaching us would have a fit if we tried to change the nozzle or anything. He like it done just so. In his defence he was right on the mig welding and I'm not bad at that now.

 

Tbh different sizes of stuff is a novelty, years ago when I assisted* my dad we never changed anything and I always set the torch right, this is a years ago though.

[rml2345]

So... Life in the world of diesels is going quite well so far and it's not actually a bad drive. Quite pleasant in fact. I've ordered a new thermostat for it as it only ever shows a third on the temp gauge but haven't been able to fit it due to weather, indifference and interior niggles but it's high on the list.

Less high on the list was a working ashtray/power socket drawer. A chance visit to U-Pull It Inverkeithing (who seem to actually know what they're doing nowadays) sourced a blue one with the bits to mend mine.

 

And Ebay produced two of these, so it should be easier to find in car parks. 

 

Don't worry though, I'm not going to cover it in plastic stick on tat and those should be easily removed if I get fed up with them. Something less easily removed was the incredibly light pale grey interior scheme. I'm sure it looked smashing when freshly delivered from the dealers but the intervening 12 years hadn't been kind and it was bogging. I also hate car seat covers so a better solution was clearly required, like a new interior for example. 
Ebay had a black leather (no, really) one listed for a smidgen under £200 in Coatbridge of all places and I hovered over the "Buy it now" button...
To cut a long story short, I got one out a scrapper in Inverkeithing. 

 

Removing the interior of a car in the snow is NOT fun. Not even a little bit. 

 

After loading the first barrow with interior stuff I sat back and thought, "What the fuck are you doing here man?" But it was half out anyway so I got on with it, stripped the rest and loaded it into the car.

 

Fitted it over a week and finished up on Monday afternoon with it!

 

 

Nice, isn't it? I'm not a huge leather fan but it's a damn site better than what was there before and should be easier to look after. Needs a good feed and that still. In the meantime some OEM mudflaps appeared in the post. Said in the ad and in the instructions they were for cars "Without side Airdam" but they had an odd shape for that. Fitted them anyway but they looked really strange, so I went to check the part number and they're only the wrong bloody flaps after all! So someone at Mitsubishi printed the wrong info on the sheet in 1995 or whenever. Better than nothing though so they've been left on until I can get either the right set or airdams or whatever. 

Need to stop fannying about and tackle some of the bigger stuff next. 

[catsinthewelder]

Is the next job sourcing and fitting a set of Volvo S40 panels and lights to the front end?

[Inspector Morose]

Just booked a couple of nights in Llandudno this weekend for me and SWMBO, because.

 

Mode of transport:

 

BX - means cleaning out accumulated crap and hoping it'll be fine.

Panda - as above but not my crap.

 

Decisions, decisions.

[vulgalour]

Mike reported in that he's not too far from home now, which is a relief.  I suspect the twin axle car trailer he hired is a tad on the too-large side, especially given that he's had to fill up the car twice for the roughly 700 miles he's covered and will have to put some more fuel in to get home.  That must mean the Xant is returning high-thirties to low-forties mpg rather than its usual steady 55mpg(ish).  Sounds like it's been a tough day for him too, as is to be expected from that sort of towing work.

 

Typically, this wretched flu I've had chose not to break until about 9pm (have been bundled in blankets at home all day) so I've been of no use in sharing the driving duties as originally planned, but I should at least be well to help out with the jobs that need doing on the car he's collecting to make that easier.

[vulgalour]

Llandudno... Mode of transport... BX

 

 

As natural as taking a Volvo to Scotland.

[alf892]

Gas welding is the only type of welding I can du successfully upside down (Dedra sill to floor, you know the rot spot). I got banned by SWMBO last time though as I had a drop of molten metal drip off and run down my cheek (the one on my face, thank you). Not enough room under the car to avoid it and every time I darted around to shake it off I kept trying to knock myself out on the sill. Thud, bang "ow", thud, thud, "fuck", bang, "shit, fuck", bang etc etc etc.

 

Done this a few times when working under cars that are not quite high enough.......

 

Bang front of head on underside of car

 

Recoil.......

 

Bang back of head on ground

 

Recoil

 

Bang front of head..

 

etc.

 

Painful.......comical to observe I would imagine although I have never seen anyone else do it. Just me?

 

Reci