Project Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: GoaT Returns.

[BorniteIdentity]

Thanks chap, but I really CBA for the sake of five weeks.  By the time I've written the letter, kicked the printer, forgotten to post it three times and it's then sat in a tray for a lifetime - April will be here anyway.

 

[LightBulbFun]

8 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Thanks chap, but I really CBA for the sake of five weeks.  By the time I've written the letter, kicked the printer, forgotten to post it three times and it's then sat in a tray for a lifetime - April will be here anyway.

yeah I agree in your particular case for the reasons you state its probably worth just waiting this one out, im just pointing out the details, so its documented,  you know for next time around, its probably not going to be the last time something like this will come up. so this gives people a point of reference/an explanation of why  

 

[BorniteIdentity]

I've decided to punt on the Audi A2 so I can get back to what I love best, durable Toyotas.  There's a thread over in the FS section if you fancy owning it from as little as £13.33.

Today, I recovered the Mini from the lock-up; it's off to the garage for them to do a load of titivating which would take me all year and someone like the legendary @alf892a weekend. However, time is of the essence - my Mum's health is not improving at all and I'm desperate for her to see the car looking lovely.  

Thanks to all of Alf's work, it's a strong starter.  First turn of the key, a couple of seconds of cranking, and it was off and running.  No bogging, no stalling, no fuss.  We replaced the ignition system a couple of years ago which has really helped. It's PROPER turn-key.

Clocked up about 20 miles taking it to the garage, including a visit to the most beautiful stately-home place to pick up some freecycle goodies.  I spied a photo-opp, and took it with both arms.  You'll have to trust me that they're nice pictures, the photo compression on here is appalling!

 

[alf892]

Tis looking good…….and it will like getting used a bit.  Share daily duties with the Sierra for the spring/summer and bin off the nasty Audi

[BorniteIdentity]

I don’t really know why I like these old things as much as I do. I think, having given it a lot of consideration, it once again comes down to how they align with everything I value most. Family, integrity, durability. Growing up, both sets of Grandparents ran Toyotas. Paternal ones had a willow green Carina saloon on a B, Maternal had a red Carina II on a C. My mother also ran a D reg Corolla for a while during the early 90s recession which we all remember fondly. 

They’re also not pretending to be anything other than honest motoring for the every day human. No lifestyle cues, no pretence, zero fuss - it’s about getting folk from A-B without a single concern about whether a journey will be completed or not. 

Regular readers will know of my form with Toyotas and - by and large - they’ve all been fantastic experiences. In fact I was happily running a RAV4 before the cavalcade of shit started arriving last summer. So, with the Audi A2 refusing to be grateful for my nurturing and expenditure, it was given its marching orders and eBay was attacked aggressively. 

Really, I wanted one of the earlier cars with the ‘challenging’ looks. Sadly, everything for sale was with a boss-man at a car wash, and my tolerance for those games is minimal. I found a nice one for sale on Facebook but the guy claimed it was sold. By bidding over the odds (albeit not significantly) I managed to persuade him to sell it to me. I knew it was worth it; 107k - long ownership - a book with no space for any more stamps - only one MOT fail since 2005 and a clean and long ticket for this year meant I really wanted it, so paid him a bit more.  These ones are also ULEZ compliant which will save me approximately £50 a month; helping to even out the fuel economy a bit. 

So. What is it? 

Yes! Pink number plate. I basically gazzumped someone to buy it and don’t really want them tracing the car onto here for now. It’ll blow over in a week or two.

There’s only one niggle - the inlet manifold has a rattle which is quite well documented with these. It’s remedied with either two carefully located screws, or a new part. 

Otherwise, it’s perfect. I will wire brush and spray underneath in a bid to preserve it long term. The 1.4 goes surprisingly well for what should be an underpowered car. 95hp is actually adequate, if not spritely! On the way home it returned a very respectable number, especially considering petrol is 10ppl cheaper here than diesel. I doubt I’ll feel much difference in the wallet.

 

The Audi A2 departs next Tuesday when this will take on regular, frontline duties. 

Hurrah for very bland but utterly dependable cars. 

 

How can anyone resist that booty?! 

[bramz7]

Yeah I really enjoyed my bugeye 1.3, unfortunately it had a death wish and developed really poor running and probably HGF. 

Looks smart in green. 

[St.Jude]

YOU STOLE IT FROM ME YOU BARRRRSTARD!

j/k.

 

I love them Corollas. I miss my old one, and a lad I know from the Toyota Owners Club has a white 5 door with the frog eyes and looks wonderful. He's doing a replica or the BTCC Corolla and has that one for a daily. Lowered, sporty 90's wheels. Gives me a hard on.

*goes off to find one to buy*

[tooSavvy]

I loved my Carina II 1.6.... ToMM©

Living in the Tyne Rustbelt was making swift Weetabix of the lower 1/3 😕, it having had a *serene existence in the balmy Wirral.

👍

🚙💨

 

[Marshall2810]

I always liked these for the same reasons you've described.  Congratulations! 

[Spottedlaurel]

Nice one! Glad it worked out in the end. 48mpg is impressive too, about what the Yaris 1.0 was doing.

I drove the Carina E to work today and it excelled for just the reasons you described above.

[Datsuncog]

They're very decent cars. Three years now with this one.

So far, it hasn't failed to do anything I've asked of it.

Best of luck with your new acquisition - the facelifted versions with the VVTi engines may lack some of the, erm, character of the earlier bugeye models, but they are a smoother drive and rather better equipped inside.

Enjoy!

[MorrisItalSLX]

It’ll be 6 years at the end of the month I’ve had my Corolla Liftback.

They really are all the car anyone needs, comfortable, reliable, practical, economical and most importantly of all - completely irresistible to the opposite sex.

[Joey spud]

The father in law had an S reg dark blue 1.6 one of these and even at twenty years old it didn't have any corrosion on the sills or arches just solid paint. The AC was excellent too and he would have kept it forever but he needed some thing higher off the ground because of his knackered hip joints.

In contrast in a rush I got a 2001 1.4 for the sister in law and it wasn't great. It had an engine rattle that wasn't the known inlet manifold and sounded like a worn big end bearing (it had sod all oil in the sump) so I changed them although they looked fine but the rattle continued.

The only way to stop the rattle was to unplug the vvti solenoid which surprisingly didn't make the engine seem any less sprightly. I think running low on oil for too long in its past had damaged the vvti pulley on it.

It didn't matter in the end as she rear ended an ATS tyre van with it a couple of months later.

Great cars. The nineties was Toyota's design sweet spot.

[beko1987]

Nice steer! Decent mpg too. 

That green would look lovely after a big buffing 👌

[Datsuncog]

44 minutes ago, Joey spud said:

I think running low on oil for too long in its past had damaged the vvti pulley on it.

One little idiosyncrasy about these engines is their tiny oil capacity - I think my non-VVTi holds something like 2.7 litres, including the filter. Never poured so little into a car during a standard oil change, even the 1.0 Yaris takes a fair bit more.

I've not noticed it using a significant amount between services, but there's really not much margin for error - if it gets low, then falls lower again, it's basically running dry.

[yes oui si]

Great cars, I'd have another at the drop of a hat. 

[mark165]

Yes! A cheery read for the end of the day. I find them happy little things to drive around in and so incredibly practical.

[BorniteIdentity]

The Mini is back from having some shitty, niggly jobs done.  It's now sporting

1. New clutch slave cylinder
2. New wiper motor
3. New (correct black) wipers (NOT photographed)
4. New throttle cable and return spring
5. New exhaust
6. New spot of metal that the last guy somehow forgot
7. Functioning brakes (all were new anyway - just needed a tickle)

The exhaust that Minispares sent was absolute dogshit.  Not only will I be extracting a refund but, in an unusual and uncharacteristic twist, will be wanting an apology too.  It is terrible.  The throttle cable wasn't much better (and is now already sticking) so they're close to being filed under "cheap chinese shit" with the rest of them.  

The car runs pretty well all told - have easily clocked up 200 miles now since I got it back.  The throttle cable is sticking and the throttle response is 'steppy' so that's a job for two weeks' time, along with fitting new black moulded trim and giving it a good service.

The Corolla is brilliant.  It has just returned over 50mpg on a mixed tank and, going non-stop to Ipswich (70 miles) was showing 53.  Against 62 MPG that the spiteful Audi A2 was returning, that's actually me quids in - taking into account the price difference between 95Ron and DERV.

The worst I've managed to get out of it thus far is 45 around the doors.

The inlet fannymould rattle is annoying and will be dealt with once funds allow.  

[BorniteIdentity]

On 06/03/2025 at 08:51, BorniteIdentity said:

I will wire brush and spray underneath in a bid to preserve it long term.

I did this yesterday.  Bilt Hamber UB really is great shit.  I spent about 10 minutes rubbing the subframe and sill ends down, and also giving the wheel well a good scrub (they all get crusty here) and then proceeded to empty an entire can underneath - getting into the subframe through the conveniently placed holes and right up into the gods.  It felt good! I've had brilliant results with this stuff on other cars; I genuinely think it buys you years and years and for the sake of £18 and a morning rolling around in the road it must be time and money well spent.  I used the nearby (exceptionally high) kerb as an axle stand, so it was even easier.

It'll want doing again (you're supposed to do it in fine layers and I went in like the proverbial bull) come the summer but for now it feels nice to have it done.  As you can see, I've also missed a few bits where it was busily dripping into my eyes.  More care required.

On 06/03/2025 at 13:22, beko1987 said:

 Decent mpg too. 

Here comes a weird thing.  The trip machine said 48.4 for the entire tank. 

 

However, I began to suspect it wasn't quite right when I got to 400 miles on the trip counter and it still had quarter of a tank.  Now I know for sure that I'd reset the trip counter correctly, and I refilled to two clicks (having given 20 seconds for it to settle) and my brim-to-brim calculations indicate...

WTF?! 

Granted, it was Shell V-Power and a shot of fuel treatment that I got free - but IF that is correct then that's amazing.  It puts me ahead of the Audi A2 in pence-per-mile and leaves me with a car I actually like at the end.

I know they're not desirable and I should probably be running about in something more contemporary but what a charming little thing. No, it's not going to help me snare a beautiful polish milf called Svitlana but it suits me just fine.

 

[BorniteIdentity]

Over the weekend, @alf892and I did a bit of buggering about with the Mini.  By we, I mean he - with me hamfistedly fucking everything up!  

The car came back to me quite quickly at the back end of last year, and so there were a number of trim items to fit.  Being impatient and untalented, Alfredo was paid in a pack of 20 Embassy Number One Signature Gold to help me.

Door trims were duly fitted (NB: There are some cool little drain holes in the rubbers to stop water running down and sitting on top of the seal.  The internet told me this, so I pass on the information in the hope that it helps someone else out in future).  

Next, the side trim.  Unfortunately it was tightly coiled in precisely the way we didn't want it to.  Gentle persuasion with a heat gun turned to me nearly setting fire to the whole car, so at the moment it only has one side fitted.  I am toying with the idea of buying the post 1993 rubber version which is easier to fit, but will make a decision over the next few weeks.  It'll probably end up being plastic.

The steering wheel was something that I (not quite) agonised over.  When the car was (terribly) advertised on eBay back in 2019, I was able to decipher that it was 'our' Mini by the distinctive sports wheel with red stitching.  However - having driven the car 2,000 miles (95% of the time with the indicator still blinking) - I decided to look out for an OEM one.  I had a couple of offers between £60 and £120 and then a lovely old boy in my native Suffolk said he had a 'boomerang' one I could have for free.  

Me being me, I forgot to take a photo of the new wheel fitted - so I'll sort that out for next time!

The old thing is getting better and better with every journey.  I need to spend a couple of hours doing my least favourite thing; polishing and cleaning the rear.  Whilst it will need some paint, I can definitely get it through this year with some patience and polish.  I've also found a company who sell Cinnabar coach enamel, so I've bought a litre to try out on the door bottoms and the lower valance, figuring I can't possibly do any harm - only improve.

Next jobs: Continue to grease throttle cable/mechanism... buy new pedal rubbers... change rear lamp gaskets to smarten up appearance... replace hazard switch/flasher unit (AGAIN)... buy more side trim and roof trim too... enjoy.

[BorniteIdentity]

A small improvement has been made to the Corolla's aesthetics.  The old trims were genuinely fucked, with scratches all over and a few of the 'spokes' snapped too.  I couldn't find a full set of 14" Corolla trims on eBay so decided to buy some Yaris ones because

1. They're really smart looking
2. They're the same as my son's car (perfect for nicking the good ones)
3. They have a larger 'face' - I hate trims which show lots of black wheel behind.

It's really, REALLY lifted the whole car.  

The next small improvement will be a set of plates.  The front is 99% fine but the back is worn and has been advised previously.  Hoping to get a nice DINGLES TOYOTA set made up come pay day, whilst resisting the temptation to have them made as MANDY DINGLE.

It is a genuinely brilliant car. I've done 1,500 miles in it since purchase.  I'm trying hard not to have some paint work done on it, as it does get used as a station car and dad wagon very frequently.

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Next, the side trim. 

Put it your airing cupboard for 24hr to soften it. 

[MorrisItalSLX]

6 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Next, the side trim.  Unfortunately it was tightly coiled in precisely the way we didn't want it to.  Gentle persuasion with a heat gun turned to me nearly setting fire to the whole car, so at the moment it only has one side fitted.  I am toying with the idea of buying the post 1993 rubber version which is easier to fit, but will make a decision over the next few weeks.  It'll probably end up being plastic.

Stick it in a bucket or sink of hot water to soften?

[BorniteIdentity]

2 hours ago, MorrisItalSLX said:

Stick it in a bucket or sink of hot water to soften?

This is how we managed to get the one side on! Thanks as always though…

5 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Put it your airing cupboard for 24hr to soften it. 

Not a bad idea at all. I reckon that plus a hot day and I’ll have a fighting chance.  Cheers!

[Tommyboy12]

10 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Over the weekend, @alf892and I did a bit of buggering about with the Mini.  By we, I mean he - with me hamfistedly fucking everything up!  

The car came back to me quite quickly at the back end of last year, and so there were a number of trim items to fit.  Being impatient and untalented, Alfredo was paid in a pack of 20 Embassy Number One Signature Gold to help me.

Door trims were duly fitted (NB: There are some cool little drain holes in the rubbers to stop water running down and sitting on top of the seal.  The internet told me this, so I pass on the information in the hope that it helps someone else out in future).  

Next, the side trim.  Unfortunately it was tightly coiled in precisely the way we didn't want it to.  Gentle persuasion with a heat gun turned to me nearly setting fire to the whole car, so at the moment it only has one side fitted.  I am toying with the idea of buying the post 1993 rubber version which is easier to fit, but will make a decision over the next few weeks.  It'll probably end up being plastic.

The steering wheel was something that I (not quite) agonised over.  When the car was (terribly) advertised on eBay back in 2019, I was able to decipher that it was 'our' Mini by the distinctive sports wheel with red stitching.  However - having driven the car 2,000 miles (95% of the time with the indicator still blinking) - I decided to look out for an OEM one.  I had a couple of offers between £60 and £120 and then a lovely old boy in my native Suffolk said he had a 'boomerang' one I could have for free.  

Me being me, I forgot to take a photo of the new wheel fitted - so I'll sort that out for next time!

The old thing is getting better and better with every journey.  I need to spend a couple of hours doing my least favourite thing; polishing and cleaning the rear.  Whilst it will need some paint, I can definitely get it through this year with some patience and polish.  I've also found a company who sell Cinnabar coach enamel, so I've bought a litre to try out on the door bottoms and the lower valance, figuring I can't possibly do any harm - only improve.

Next jobs: Continue to grease throttle cable/mechanism... buy new pedal rubbers... change rear lamp gaskets to smarten up appearance... replace hazard switch/flasher unit (AGAIN)... buy more side trim and roof trim too... enjoy.

Id recommend not using the rubber side trim. It does look better but it traps moisture and rots out the seams alarmingly quickly. You're almost better off coach lining the seam in black paint

Also buy an adjustable digital flasher relay. I put them on all my Minis and they're a lot more reliable. I've never had one fail.

[BorniteIdentity]

11 minutes ago, Tommyboy12 said:

Id recommend not using the rubber side trim. It does look better but it traps moisture and rots out the seams alarmingly quickly. You're almost better off coach lining the seam in black paint

Also buy an adjustable digital flasher relay. I put them on all my Minis and they're a lot more reliable. I've never had one fail.

Legend, top tips.

I’m not sure wtf is happening with the hazards. Indicators are fine, hazard switch produces no hazards and, when enabled, the indicators don’t work. 

I will have a look at those relays; for a few quid it’s worth having one in the boot anyway. 

[Tommyboy12]

That sounds like an earthing issue with the hazard relay

[Homersimpson]

2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

This is how we managed to get the one side on! Thanks as always though…

Not a bad idea at all. I reckon that plus a hot day and I’ll have a fighting chance.  Cheers!

A guy I used to work for specialised in minis and used to fit this trim by it in a bucket of hot water, really hot and then when it was supple he fitted it against the arch curve so the curve of the trim went into the tight corners if you see what I mean.

He got really good results doing this but everyone tries the other way because its easier to follow the arch curve but then when you get to the tight curve its nigh on impossible without kinking it.

[BorniteIdentity]

4 minutes ago, Homersimpson said:

A guy I used to work for specialised in minis and used to fit this trim by it in a bucket of hot water, really hot and then when it was supple he fitted it against the arch curve so the curve of the trim went into the tight corners if you see what I mean.

He got really good results doing this but everyone tries the other way because its easier to follow the arch curve but then when you get to the tight curve its nigh on impossible without kinking it.

I think I see what you mean.  So, effectively, use the bend in the coil to go from straight edge to arch, and then go against the grain when going around the wheel?  I will try that. Cheers!

[BorniteIdentity]

5 minutes ago, Tommyboy12 said:

That sounds like an earthing issue with the hazard relay

The problem with these 80s Minis is the relays sit among the sound proofing* that BLARG started fitting on the bulkhead, which works like a massive sponge.  It was parked outside for a year, so I reckon it's got wet.  Pokings later this week, much obliged.