Why I’m not allowed to own two of anything anymore......

[Bstardchild]

Subtitled (three is fine just not two as long as she doesn’t find out)

 

I wrote this post on a couple of other forums but I thought those who don't frequent those might like it this is Part 1 of a three part test of my better half's patience (Lisa)  with my car obsession

They do say confession is good for the soul – I would add that as long as the confession is not to your long suffering better half then it’s bad for your b4lls

So the Senator story

I owned this 3.0 24V Senator auto in star silver with black leather



Never raced or rallied



Best car I’ve ever owned J905HAB or 5haby to it’s friends but while it was on the original basket weaves and still an auto I accidently bought another Senator (Later known as the ABS club whore)



Anyway at the time of purchase it was running basket weaves and was a 3.0 12 V auto with black leather that happened to also be in star silver…….

When I say accidently most of my car purchases are accidents (I think of it as right place right time and Lisa thinks it’s wrong place wrong time and too much available overdraft – she might have a point)

Anyway before I go too far off track I’d better explain

The 12V was advertised in the local free adds with a running fault at £300 – I like adverts like that but the price seemed to be missing a 1 in front of it – it was a few years back, rang the seller and apparently it had an electrical issue and he’d thrown lots of money at it with 3 local Vauxhall dealers and none had fixed it – all had cost him lots of money and he’d had enough……. The fault – hmmm – well you could drive it for 30 miles or 30 mins and then it cut out and needed to wait 15 mins before it would restart then it was fine for another 30 miles or 30 mins. The owners daily commute was 35 miles and 40 mins time wise and he was extremely curse word off that the car required him to observe some ritual stop start process.

Well I didn’t need another car but it was cheap and I like a challenge so I went to see it and bought it

Obviously I couldn’t take it home because then I would have two star silver Senators on the drive so I parked it at work and alternated which car I used on an almost daily basis.

Now I know the clever ones amongst you will say bit it has a different reg number – well Lisa is blind as a bat (bloody good hearing but eyesight is shocking – hence why she is still with me) so number plates are just a fuzzy blur – colour of a car and leather she’s on the button.

Downside is my daily commute is 2 miles or 5 mins so I wasn’t seeing the issues.

A mate Will needed a car and work were getting a bit snotty about my using the car park as overflow parking for my drive so I lent it to him – don’t worry I told him about the issue so he packed the tools he needed for an electrical issue Will was working 40 miles away and for the first few weeks the car didn’t miss behave but then it did and Will knew he had 15 mins to find the fault – he actually took 5 mins and fixed by the roadside  the car never missed a beat from then on (actually it did but that’s another story and I still get grief at monthly club meets from those club members who had a 90 mile ride in an AA truck)

So the fault – an aftermarket immobiliser that was over heating it’s circuits and killing the power to the fuel pump.

Anyway Will continued to use the car and I didn’t have a storage issue – however one day Will dropped the car back on the drive as he didn't need it anymore and when I drove home in the J905 I got a surprise ooooops looks like I had a snap……

Lisa’s reaction – I bloody knew you have two Senators it every other day for a while back my hand-cream kept doing a vanishing trick and then re-appearing like magic – it was driving me nuts!!!!

[garbaldy]

My misses doesn't ken half of what I've got and every now and again she will come out with where did you get that car, I just say oh that one I've had it for ages you've just never noticed it before,

It's worked for me for the 22 years we've been together.

[Bstardchild]

My misses doesn't ken half of what I've got and every now and again she will come out with where did you get that car, I just say oh that one I've had it for ages you've just never noticed it before,

It's worked for me for the 22 years we've been together.

 

 

Well I've been living with Lisa for 25 years - if they are at home then she notices them.................

[Bstardchild]

Part 2

It appears that the Senator incident didn’t learn me anything…….

We were extending the house and the garage – the garage I was happy about the house not so much but we had a pay by the hour builder rather than a builder who was prepared to do a complete job. This means I was responsible for ensuring all materials were delivered on time and waste was cleared from the site (our back garden)

I needed either a pick up or van…………

Lisa understood this right up to the point I bought a manual Carlton 3.0 CDX estate with 2 weeks VED and 3 days MOT and a heap of running issues.

This one





The pics don’t clearly show the condition of the car – inside was a total skip, outside just the roof and the rear quarters weren’t dent free. The tailgate had so much rust I was amazed that the glass stayed in when the windows were open at speed. But that paled into insignificance compared with the transmission vibration at any throttle opening and the dreadful misfires and black smoke out of the back when you ignored the vibration, oh and the ABS light was permanently on.

None of this was helping my pile of brick rubble in the garden.

So Transmission vibration was propshaft centre bearing, fixed that and that cured the ABS light, the excess fuelling was resolved by cleaning the carbon tracks in the AFM and I had and MOT.

However it was a minging shed so it only got used and abused – it got as much use as I needed.

Then Will (remember him from part 1) needed to move house so I lent it to him – space on the drive was handy

Till I ended up looking at some Monza wheels in Eye Suffolk and the chap selling them mentioned his neighbour was scrapping a Carlton Estate – might have some usable parts. The auto box was borked and the exhaust had more blows than Russell Brand but the panels were perfect and with a few days MOT and two days Tax.
£50 later and a trip back the next day and I had this





I parked on the drive and Lisa just assumed Will had brought the car back……….

Anyone see the drawback in this plan?








Will brought the other car back……

Then I had two!!! And boy was she piddled…….

So I explained the benefit of all the panels being unboltable and swappable and how any repairs and repaints on the original CDX were likely to cost way more than £50

48 Hours she gave me to resolve the situation this was Friday night so next day I started early and bu 2pm Sunday this is what I dragged up to the local recycling centre



Wheels and tyres were removed at the yard and in the back of the other CDX



Blocks of wood to replace shocks etc etc ……

All the good parts were swapped during the week and dumped gradually and I’d escaped to live another day, well except Lisa issued the 11th commandment – thou shall not have two of anything again.

Part 3 coming up soonish as I need to find some pictures......

That part deals with 3 of a kind!!!

[garbaldy]

I think she's fooling you with the bad eyesight ruse and has 20 20 vision

 

If my misses knew I had 20 cars (it was 19 yesterday) I guess she would be slightly annoyed.

[Bstardchild]

I think she's fooling you with the bad eyesight ruse and has 20 20 vision

 

Oh her eyesight is lousey - 25 years with me is proof of that

[Hertz]

Ha ha nice one.

 

Thing is women get away with clothes, shoes and handbags all the time. My Mrs has about 15 coats. FFS why woman!?

[cort16]

My wife has given up in my shite car escapades as long as doesn't involve her and she doesn't need to travel in them.

At one point I had 3 BMW's parked outside the tennis club a couple of miles away. I don't even go to the tennis club (other than to pick up my shite cars)!

[Bstardchild]

Ha ha nice one.

 

Thing is women get away with clothes, shoes and handbags all the time. My Mrs has about 15 coats. FFS why woman!?

 

Hmmm - I think it's little black dresses for Lisa - shoes not so many and handbags very few

 

Anyway there is a part three to come if people are interested?

[cort16]

Yes moar please.

[nacho man]

Where always interested in tat goings on.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rantingYoof]

My mum had a 3.0 CDX estate in burgandy! It was a G-reg too I think.

 

Fantastic thing.

[Pillock]

Great story, let's hear part 3!

[Bstardchild]

Part 3 - three Monzas (ish)

Really not sure how I got myself in this pickle – actually I am – I’m an addict and cars are my drug – for some it’s cocaine or heroin but for me the most potent drug is Monza shaped and it was inevitable that this would land me in deep deep brown stuff)

Monza No'1 (well not actually my first one (but at the time of purchasing number two) was the only one I owned that Lisa knew about)



Full thread elsewhere covering my attempts to make a track car out of 1500 kgs of steel and a pig iron boat anchor six banger.....

It wasn't enough.....

Monza Number 2 (Rally car) Long thread elsewhere full of highs and lows as a journey of discovery unravelled

As it came



It was a problem at purchase - Thou shall not have two of anything - (so it got squirrelled away at a local industrial estate as the place it was were going to shot blast the shell and see what we had – but they were very busy and it got left in a corner) Now Lisa knew about the Rally car but as it wasn’t a complete car and also as it wasn’t coming home till it was presentable (and less smelly) it wasn’t so much of an issue as I expected it to be - technically I had somehow got away with owning two!!

So as the Rally car was very incomplete there was a requirement for rather a lot of parts that I didn’t have - I needed a Donor!!!

So I bought Monza number 3 (from TWOMAS member Stuart Humphrey - who sadly passed away a couple of years ago RIP)

TWOMAS = Tumbridge Wells Opel Monza Appreciation Society nice little forum for Monza and old opel six banger enthusiasts - just very very quiet....

Fellow ABS club member Alf took a few snaps on his driveway when he collected it for me!!!





It must have made  impression on Alf because he later sold the 24V Commodore - after he'd painted it again for the third time - he'd restored from ground up, restored an Opel Manta A and then finally bought his own Monza GSE which he restored and converted to Manual from heather mills matic

Anyway I digressed - Monza number 3 (technically Monza number 2) Upside was it was running with MOT and some tax – downside it was in Kent – so Alf ferried it up to Norfolk for me…..

Obviously I couldn’t bring it home (it would be recognised instantly as Monza number 2 – she may have already forgotten about the real  Monza number 2) so it got parked elsewhere and then it got borrowed by a fellow ABS member Michael Shearing  (Because I sold his daily driver – I kid you not - I really did sell his daily without him knowing) who fixed some issues – which was handy  – then it got semi stripped and used at a Marham event by a couple of ABS members one who ended up with the car at his place (Paul)

"borrowers" had a sense of humor





Then it ended up at Paul's place however while it was there I lost the storage facility for the Rally Car.

So the Rally Car needed to come home – downside was I then needed to get it to a state that I would be allowed to bring it home so in a couple of weekends stripped what was left down and got it to a bare shell and cage that was shot blasted and etched primed and I dragged it home.

Fortunately because it didn’t have wheels (well not ones that were attached to the shell and as it was a bare shell it wasn’t classified as a Monza so effectively in Lisa’s eyes I still had just one.

What came home



However number 3 – actually number 2 now was still at Paul's house and needed to move somewhere……. soonish

Then unfortunately  I had the fateful meeting of the “ABS widows†(ie Paul’s wife Gillian and Lisa) we were all sitting in a pub garden tucking into some fish and chips having been on a PH EA run when  Gillian asked me when I was going to collect the Monza that sat in their yard……………. Ooooops I hadn’t seen that one coming!!!

Now Gillian realised to her credit that she’d dropped me in it and no more was said but Lisa was quietly fuming. The journey home was initially in complete silence until she finally said “so you have a Monza at Paulsâ€

I replied “well that was a bit embarrassing wasn’t it – I couldn’t reply to Gillian because it would have dropped Paul in the curse wordâ€
Lisa asked “Why would it drop Paul in the curse word?†and my reply “Because it’s his “spares†car and he didn’t want Gillian to know it was his “spares†car†so told Gillian it was mine"

The subject of the third Monza was never raised again by Gillian or Lisa again and I got it moved to another secure location with peppercorn rent………..

Then I was offered all the parts that didn’t come with the original rally Monza – so Lisa and I had a discussion about how it was an opportunity to re-unite most of the original parts and it was just going to cost the fuel needed – downside was they were in Scotland – There was some discussion about that little weekend trip but as I justified it as just parts for the Monza that wasn’t a Monza (grey shell in my garage).

There were other downsides but I elected to keep them to myself.

What I brought back



Yeah it looks like a Monza doesn’t it – unfortunately Lisa thought it looked like a Monza too which didn’t exactly go down well – we agreed that it was definitely a second Monza and that apparently I’d agreed that I wouldn’t have two of the same car again

So I offered whatever parts I didn’t need to anyone that did need them and kept the parts I did need

The rest well went over the weighbridge – which to be honest wasn’t that much



So it’s all OK - right now I have just one Monza – soon I won’t have one at all – well it won’t look like a Monza so then I can bring another one home.

Ahhh might have to deal with the Commodore situation first……….. But it’s OK I’ve only got one of those that she doesn’t know I have or that I’ve owned for a fair few years – I think a local Barn find is about to be discovered – too good to turn down short notice save it from being weighed in………… Sounds like a plan to me!!!

[Station]

 

 

Bstardchild, on 07 Mar 2016 - 9:51 PM, said:

Lisa’s reaction – I bloody knew you have two Senators it every other day for a while back my hand-cream kept doing a vanishing trick and then re-appearing like magic – it was driving me nuts!!!!

 

I had this:

 

 

And then I bought this:

 

 

It took my lady friend an hour to realise AFTER sitting and me driving the car that the MR2 wasn't the Sunny.

Jesus Christ, women.

[Bstardchild]

I had this:

 

 

And then I bought this:

 

 

It took my lady friend an hour to realise AFTER sitting and me driving the car that the MR2 wasn't the Sunny.

Jesus Christ, women.

 

to be fair they are both white

[Dick Cheeseburger]

I remember reading about these on RR. What's happening with the rally car? Hugely entertaining btw!

[sporty-shite]

And I thought I'd woven a few webs!

[Bstardchild]

I remember reading about these on RR. What's happening with the rally car? Hugely entertaining btw!

 

 

Rally car safe and dry and having parts added on a regular basis - Currently labelled my retirement project but I do hope it's sooner than that

 

I have a Monza / Commodore project to finish which is currently in progress but I don't think that fits in with the thread as I didn't have two Commodores

 

I don't really have this any more - well I do I have a bit of it - as I stuck it on it's roof in France on a track day - didn't look very good after (this is after some work to straighten it

 

 

So I justified to Lisa a "barn find" purchase of this

 

 

I use barn find and purchase in the loose sense of the word as I may have owned it for several years waiting for it's turn

 

Intention was to make one good car out of two - then it went off the rails a little!!!

 

[hairnet]

still norfolk

 

still nutty

 

[Bstardchild]

still norfolk

 

still nutty

 

 

Often found on local doctors notes - NFN

 

"Normal For Norfolk"

[hauserplenty]

ALL VOXLZ R curse word M8.

[fatharris]

Brilliant tale, I've never managed to sneak a car under her nose yet, though not through lack of trying! I will succeed one day, and then we'll see who is sorry!

Me. It'll be me.

[Bstardchild]

ALL VOXLZ R curse word M8.

 

ALL OPELZ R GR8 M8

[Spottedlaurel]

I’ve seen one or two of these cars and heard/read about others in the past and I’m still confused!

 

The Commodore resurrection is the one I’m looking forward to seeing though. I’m struggling to comprehend why your mate sold his 24v version, that sounds wonderful.

 

Must try and catch up with you again at some point this year.

[Slartibartfast]

Threads like this are what I keep coming back here for.

[dinglem]

Brilliant!!!

[beko1987]

Hahahahahahaha

 

Fugging brilliant!

[xtriple]

Fan-bloody-tastic!

 

You are a man living so far over the edge that every step must feel like walking through a minefield!

 

Deep (and huge) respect.

[Rocket88]

Did that burgundy one come from Dorset area? I think I might have tried to buy that a few years ago.........