2016 AS quote thread

[AlabamaShrimp]

Davedorson on one car you really miss

 

And that he saw a larger lady getting eaten out in a Sierra Estate, and like the rest of us, sat trying to recall the last time he'd seen a Sierra Estate in the wild.

[Skizzer]

Bub sums up perfectly, and in no more words than necessary, what we all think about xtriple's slightly* needy Bentley Brooklands R:

 

Xtriple I admire what you are doing. You must have bollocks like space hoppers

[Station]

MrRods reaction to changing an Audi from auto to manual involved swapping the crankshaft

 

FUCK THAT

[Ghosty]

The tag on colc's Passat thread.

 

 

not pineapple

[quicksilver]

Richard on the AS presence at the Chumley 'concours'

 

It won't win. Even if the best of our cars was the only entrant in its class it still wouldn't win.

[vulgalour]

Sorn Me in top form with this bit of wordsmithing.

 

dollywobbler's car involved in Wobbly Dolly incident   -   nominative determinism?

[Tayne]

DaveNumbers in the News 24 thread talking about Honda's colour options

 

 

.dog piss yellow, Vulgalours hat purple or inside a jaffacake orange.

 

[vulgalour]

I'll have you know I don't have a purple hat. For shame.

[purplebargeken]

^^ Not yet anyhow.

[rml2345]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/291606313030

You know what to do Mr. Galour...

[vulgalour]

tempting....

[vulgalour]

Plastic purple fedora?  Am I Max Headroom enough for that?

[AMC Rebel]

Mr Bollox on the ebay tat thread, taking about diesel v6 Vectras -

 

 

 

 

must say, I can see the appeal of these, I bet they can pull the gable end out of a house yet look as miserable as a Little Chef waitress.

 

[vulgalour]

From my experience the best way to remove underseal is to set it on fire by accident while welding the boot floor...

[AMC Rebel]

From the eBay thread -

 

That is awesome, you could ride that round pretending your flash gordons dole cheat brother.

 

I would like to thank ShiteRider for making me laugh out loud more than once with that one.

[Station]

The driver's seat has less stuffing than a freshly steam-rollered anorexic ant.

 

 

 

[cms206]

bucketeer...

 

"If you're not using ethically sourced extra virgin olive oil in the car Sam you're just an earth raping, sunflower hating bastard."

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[Cavcraft]

Pillock:

 

'I'd like to snuffle around Kate Humble's badger in the dark hours'

 

[spartacus]

"strongly disagree", Vulg, on being told by an eBay ad that a Nissan Terrano is a 'good looking car'.

[DeeJay]

Comes with a free punch in the face

 

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.u...1sAAOSwNRdX5Vg0

 

Cort on ebay thread, genuine laugh out loud.

[Uncle Jimmy]

Station on the 'Ebay Arseholes and fuckwits' thread;

 

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, Alan realises he's completely out of his depth, and his pittance wage of 1 euro per day from the circus (the 'Italian cunt circus') will not cover the 150 quid courier charge. 

[Craig the Princess]

On the Junkman Talbot collection caper

 

Oh, and I love how it's a VdP - how very dare you call it anything else, butwhen the clutch goes, it's suddenly just an Allegro.

[beko1987]

Rainagain and his S80 shennanigans

 

"As the HBOL says reassembling was just like above in reverse but you swear in different places"

[anonymous user]

six-cylinder

 

Every week or so I search for Citroen Visas for sale!

[AMC Rebel]

Hillman Imp on the ebay thread -

 

 

 

Has genuine 62k and two owners from new but from the same family.

 

Yeah but it was Pastor Maldonado and his fucking dad.

[Craig the Princess]

the Horizon which goes well (but slowly) and has a unique facility where the passenger can wash their feet whilst on the move

[oldcars]

This from roadworkuk in the grumpy thread.

 

Posted Yesterday, 09:05 PM

Grand Designs. Yadda Yadda "The sheer genius of Aspidistra and Cephalopods vision is an inspiration to architects everywhere".

 

Not hard to have vision with a million quid budget. I'd like to see a properly creative re-imagining of a three bed semi using B&Q vouchers like the rest of us

[adw1977]

Maybe it's just me, but this on the Mystery mechanic's tools thread had me laughing so much on the train home that I was getting strange looks from other passengers:

 

 

The top one is an "expanding reamer" and the other is a nut splitter

 

'Ouch', on both counts.

 

[drum]

From one of the junkman Range Rover threads

Yes to both, so I guess we can sit on my drive and wait for plate tectonics to bring your Land Rover to us.

[quicksilver]

^ Dang, beaten to it. Conrad is always highly quotable and I just came here to share that same little gem.