Sold Howdy, Cowboys! *New Pictures, see Page 8!*

[Junkman]

Entirely btw, I still have the sales brochure of mine. Do you want it, Lukas?

[Junkman]

The Junkman is a living encyclopaedia when it comes to cars!

 

He isn't. But he has a vast library.

[r.welfare]

The Essence looks a lot like a 4 door Riviera to me.

[Junkman]

The Essence looks a lot like a 4 door Riviera to me.

 

GM was losing money by the boatlaod throughout the 80s. To say they lost the social product of Luxemburg (less the drug money laundering) per year probably holds true

simple counting. A turnaround was urgently required, thus when tasked with the Essence, the Buick guys sniffed the chance of a lifetime, and most likely something else.

 

Styling wise, they heavily drew on the Jag XJ saloon for inspiration, believe it or not, and initial sketches show strong British overtones.

But they deliberately gave it a "faux fur" (some would call it cheesy) feel, well aware of the fact, that this is going to be their mainstay volume seller throughout the Nineties

and with this Nineties upper middle class septics are meant. You know, the ones with the trimmed lawn around their pastel painted MDF houses and a flagpole in the front garden

to run up the Star Spangled Banner/Confederate Flag every morning. Add basketball hoop on garage wall if Hoosier.

 

It paid off. The Park Avenue was a strong seller, even in Europe, at least by GM USA standards and that latter most probably exactly because its septicness, which is the very

raison d'etre for buying a yank in Europe in the first place.

And they did well, despite strong internal competition from the Roadmaster, the Oldsmobile Aurora, and the Pontiac Bonneville SSE.

The Park Avenue is arguably the most attractive of the lot, especially for European eyes.

How hard they fought for each and every customer is for example evident in the stand up bonnet ornament and the chromium plated "grab on" door handles with push buttons.

As I said earlier, oily bits wise, they were relegated to tried and tested hardware anyway, so they could blow what little budget they had completely on luring Austrian simpletons

like Lukas and myself.

 

The Riviera only played second violin, which you will find confirmed by the fact, that while the Park Avenue was pressed into production, the decidedly naff 1986 Riv

soldiered on until 1993 and then there was none for almost two years.

The Riviera finally returned in 1995 and you could see it as a spinoff of the Essence, if it wasn't in reality based on the Olds Aurora, which is itself derived from the

Cadillac G platform.

The G platform is technically interesting, btw. It was designed to carry bodies, that are in themselves big silencers, i.e., they are sound engineered to cancel out internal noises

in the frequency range audible for the human ear. Thus inside they are the quietest cars imaginable, without the use of heavy sound deadening.

I can confirm this, having driven a new Aurora hire car on a 4,000+ mile holiday. Like inside a German ICE train, there is no bur noticeable whatsoever.

 

I keep telling you guys, if you can look past late 80s - early 90s septic car styling, you'll end up with darn good shite.

[Lukas]

Entirely btw, I still have the sales brochure of mine. Do you want it, Lukas?

 

Oh yes please, that would be fabulous!   

 

Thanks for all the informations on my new old steed. I´ll reciprocate with pictures after I collected it. By end of this week I hope. 

 

L

[AnthonyG]

been a '96 a clinton-gore bumper sticker would be more appropriate.

No way, the drivers of these when new would have been voting for Bob Dole.

[Jim Bell]

I think that looks lovely.

[Lukas]

* BREAKING NEWS*

 

Collection tomorrow. 

 

I´ll keep you updated. 

[garethj]

This should be the most relaxed, wafting collection ever!

[blackbart]

top chod there lukas, you can't beat whafting along inside a members only gentlemans club. brandy in one hand and a big cuban in the other, while sorting out some dodgy dealings in parliment.....glorious

[dugong]

Ausgeseichnet, Lukas! (Toll, prima, usw).

[Lukas]

Today was the collection-day. 

 

It all started at the train-station.

 

 

My train was just on time, the train-ride was nice and comfortable. I really like the new commuter-train from the ÖBB. 

 

 

The seller came to pick me up with a Bini Cooper, the replacement for the Buick.  Did not take a picture of it because 

I hate the BMW-Minis. 

 

Here my new barge is waiting for me in the sellers garden, already with my (hidden, because Austria blahblah...) plate on it. 

 

 

You can see the reason for the cheapness here. The right front fender is cracked (plastic) and "repaired" with tape. 

I´m fine with that. A used fender is in the boot, so no problem. 

 

I lost no time to start driving this beauty, but no driving without fuel, so then I did this:

 

 

Will be doing that quite often now, I guess.     

 

But after re-fuelling, I hit the road. Yehaaawww!

 

 

Oh what a fantastic car this is! Quite, refined, relaxing. And: Every gadget works! I would not have tought that. 

 

Sadly, the drive home was over too soon.  I should have bought one in Vorarlberg or somewhere. Not just 60km from home. 

 

 

 

 

Just look at it. It sits on my drive now and all the neighbors are looking at it with envy. They must think I got a job in the red-light-district. 

 

Will keep you updated. By now, I know that it needs a new thermostat because it´s running too cool, it needs new tires and could to with a wheel-alignment. 

 

I´m happy! 

 

By the way. When I got in it to drive away from the fuel-station, the radio came on by itself and this song played:

 

 

Priceless! 

[Felly Magic]

Eddy will be reduced to a gibbering wreck now, and with bonus Englebert Plinkyplonkness. This forum is BACK on form with weapons grade shite

[danthecapriman]

Brilliant. That is one mighty fine piece of American chod right there!

I love the interior, just looks so comfortable and the dash is just great.

 

Very nice buy.

[DVee8]

That is  class,just class.

 

One of the best dash boards and fab over mats.

[Junkman]

Jo bist du gscheit.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I love that interior too, not bad outside either, kind of like a cross between a Rolls Royce and a large Kia but with mk1 Cavalier back lights

[garethj]

The designer has put so much love into the dashboard it's spilled onto the doors.  Just wonderful

[richardmorris]

I love the wrap-round interior too.

 

Edit- not so keen on The Ali baba flying carpets.

[Skizzer]

Oh hush, the Persian carpets are perfect for it. They go beautifully with the genuine Klingon-skin upholstery.

 

This is magnificent. I am officially jealous.

[eddyramrod]

So am I!  Look forward to my collection thread on it, there will be a much longer drive home involved.

[Junkman]

Do it!

[LC Torana]

Lovely car.

 

One puzzle - the steering wheel looks an awful long way away.  Trick of the camera?

[Jon]

That's actually very appealing, which is a clear sign that I'm getting older! I like the colour much better than a light metallic and the interior does look very inviting. The steering wheel is nicely worn only on the left I see, presumably because the right hand is always clinging to the side of the seat when cornering, so you don't slip off the cheair

[panhard65]

I am no fan of American cars but I think I could live with one of these, that looks lovely.

[Lukas]

It´s hard not to laugh when watching this video. They can´t be serious... 

 

[John F]

Hey Lukas, I've correctly formatted your Savvy selfie for you.

 

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

It´s hard not to laugh when watching this video. They can´t be serious... 

 

 

 

Great video - it even suggests you sail a Park Avenue, rather than simply drive it.

 

I have to say, I do like the style of these Buicks. They look quite elegant to my eyes, with an interior of pure-American Chintz to boot. It needs Whitewalls though.

 

Persian rugs seem to be a fairly common feature in Jaguar XJ40s I have seen for sale on the European Mainland. I see he left them in for you.

[billyboy406v6]

Just love the interior, USS Enterprise springs to mind !

[Lukas]

Today, I crwaled underneath the Buick to look at what I´ve bought. 

 

There are horror-stories on the internet about Park Avenues with terminal rust after 10 years/winters in Wisconsin. 

 

The right sill in front of the right rear wheel is rusted through over the length of almost 20 centimetres.  No holes yet,

but very crusty metal. A bit like pouff pastry from a fresh croussant.

 

Sadly, the inner-sill is a bit crusty there too. No holes, but puff pastry again. Will be more expenditure to have this area

welded, but when the winter is gone in ~ April 2016, I´ll have that repaired.

 

The front subframe-mountings are alright, thankfully. These areas are very well known rust-spots and the internet told me 

that if the car is too crusty there or even has holes in the metal, it´s game over.   But thankfully, mine is fine there. I soaked

it all with rust protection fluid today, so that should survive well. 

 

The a-pillar behind the left front wing is crusty at the bottom too, but that´s only visible when the door is open. Will have that

repaired too when the right sill get´s done. 

 

Otherwise, it´s quite in good condition underneath. Drives fine, seems to have no problems whatsoever. There are small oil-leaks,

the drive is stained already.  For now, a piece of cardboard will do. 

 

Since it´s parked in front of my house, some neighbors don´t salute me anymore.  They must think I am completely mad. 

But another neighbor said it´s a very nice car. My favorite neighbor now. 

 

More pictures coming after christmas.