Ghosty Posted October 5, 2015 Posted October 5, 2015 Old Man had some kind of servicing done on the rear end of his old Capri Laser (this was in the '90s). Garage somehow forgot to put any oil in the diff and it blew up on the motorway.
D Spares & Tyres Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 My first car (1978 fiesta) did full service on it, including ht leads. Whipped them all off with great enthusiasm. Putting them back in the correct order was harder..... Another car, I forget which. Bought secondhand alternator. Took broken one off car and put it next to the one I had just bought. You can guess the rest.... myglaren and catsinthewelder 2
cobblers Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 My VW T25 shit the gearbox ( lost 1st and 2nd), so I put a spare on. Had the new box on, got everything fitted and sat in the drivers seat ready to start it when I pushed the clutch pedal and it wasn't right.Got out and found the clutch release bearing still on the side of the engine bay. Gearbox back off, bearing back on and all built back up (what took 5 hours first time round took 45 minutes the second time) I set off round the block to find the clutch was slipping like mad. I presumed I'd smoked the original one in driving a couple of miles setting off in third, but it had only done about 5k miles so I was surprised. Bought a new clutch, put it on, and found that the clutch fork was seized into the gearbox housing stopping the bugger engaging properly.
forddeliveryboy Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 It's taken me three pages to work up to admitting this... I had a very sweet boxer engine which needed a plug thread and an oil feeder thread helicoiling. Was impatient to have the car running that weekend but had neither of the right helicoils at the time, so dug out a second hand complete head which I had stored away. It looked a bit old but all the threads were good and the valves looked fine. Engine ran for about half a minute, then I think a valve seized, contacted piston, blew the whole engine up. Managed to salvage the other head, that was all. Lesson learnt. brickwall 1
wuvvum Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 I once bought an E12 BMW 525 resto project. Went and picked it up from mid-Norfolk in my Saab 900 with a trailer on the back. Got the BMW winched onto the trailer, applied the handbrake and stuck it in gear, then got back in the Saab to get off the seller's estate so I could strap the car down in peace - it was one of those poxy modern estates with nowhere to park and I was blocking the road. Got nearly off the estate and some twat cut me up, making me stand on the brakes. The handbrake on the BMW was crap, and I'd completely failed to register that as its cylinder head was in the boot, the engine would have no compression so putting it in gear would make fuck all difference. So the Beemer rolled off the front of the trailer bed and came to rest with the sump on the winch mount. This made driving home interesting, as the Saab was almost doing a wheelie (and therefore had zero traction) and I was worrying how the fuck I was going to get the thing off the trailer before I had to drop it back at the hire place the next morning. My route home took me past a mate's who happened to be storing my Princess for me at the time (he was supposed to be doing some work on it but never got round to it as he was always high). Fired the Princess up, attached a tow rope from the back of the BM to the back of the Princess, then let rip with 2227cc of E-series power. Lots of wheelspin later, and with my (by now quite pissed off) mate heaving on the BMW from the front, we eventually got it back on the trailer. No real damage done, and lesson learned. oldcars, catsinthewelder and D Spares & Tyres 3
Junkman Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 On a more serious note, in 1984, I made the silly mistake of buying this: instead of this: It was blue with a white top back then, but it's the very car.They were advertised for the same money back then. But I was only 20 and still had egg shells behind the ears. The 'rari is now a quarter million Euros, whereas you would be lucky to get 50k for the Olds. Clanger and xtriple 2
vulgalour Posted October 6, 2015 Posted October 6, 2015 Not to the same magnitude as M. Junkman there... ... I'm not always the sharpest tool in the box. Richard, captain_70s, derskine and 3 others 6
LC Torana Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 That reminds me. Once when adjusting the dwell on my Rover, I dropped the spanner which promptly shredded the A-belt. brickwall 1
gm Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 silly mistakes - you mean the kind of thing you learn from ? hmm, more learning needed I'm a goon ! fred, derskine, beko1987 and 19 others 22
forddeliveryboy Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Looks like the blue one pissed itself laughing, green MX5 has more suspension travel than an I'd imagined a little Mazda could have.
fred Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 In a rush to get to work (2-10 shift) cross threaded the oil filter when doing a oil change on my old Victor - ending in a F1 White smoke blow out and much oil loss right by the traffic lights at The Plod station in Walsall - Bugger! LC Torana and brickwall 2
Lord Sterling Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Last week, checking the oil, getting distracted and forgetting to put the filler cap back on... drove 5 miles and stopped at trafficlights and wondered why there was smoke (lots of) coming from under the bonnet. Engine covered in oil and smoke everywhere. Found the filler cap down by the radiator, cleaned the oil away and checked the oil - just under full. Methinks I was very very lucky.Done this with the Merc, also once I forgot to replace the expansion tank cap on my 827Si and drove 30 miles like that.
xtriple Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 My favourite mistake was always forgetting to put the rotor arm back in... every time I did points! brickwall and myglaren 2
beko1987 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Remembered another one, had done an oil change on the Meriva and forgot to put the oil cap back on, cue a nice splatter of oil everywhere when I fired it up, right over my nice shiney new cambelt sticker I'd just put on...
beko1987 Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 silly mistakes - you mean the kind of thing you learn from ? image.jpg hmm, more learning needed image.jpg I'm a goon !Great way to test the sills for strength/rust though!
Lacquer Peel Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Overtightened the valve cover bolts on my Volvo, stripping the threads on 3/4 of the cam carriers. Its oil retention is excellent*. brickwall 1
Arthur Foxhake Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Changing an engine on my old 106 with a mate of mine.Job was going really well and we were getting stuff back together again. My neighbour comes out for a chat (fit, would.) to tell us how well we're getting on and how fast we are working. I stand, nonchalantly, filling up the gearbox, telling her it's easy when you know how and a load of other guff when she points out there is oil pissing all over the floor. After cleaning up the oil and mopping up my embarrassment , I put the driveshafts back in and tried again. Rusty_Rocket, myglaren, D Spares & Tyres and 1 other 4
Negative Creep Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Fucking hundreds. Locked myself in the boot of a saloon Primera, only freeing myself when I found a rust hole big enough to poke my keys through. purplebargeken and brickwall 2
omegod Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 /\ My bro did that in his alfa 156 after a party, he had to dissasemble the lock from the inside in the dark
oldford Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 I had a puncture on the way into work one morning, when I got there the tyre wasn't totally deflated. I got the trolley jack out of the workshop and removed the wheel, chucked in the back of the works van and took it to the tyre place that we use. I returned 30 minutes later and proceeded to refit the wheel on the still jacked up car. It took me nearly 10 minutes to work out why I couldn't get one of the wheel nuts on. In my absence a piece of insulating tape had 'wrapped itself' around one of the wheel studs, I say 'wrapped itself' as none of my colleagues ever owned up to doing it, I reckon that it was team effort. Bear and brickwall 2
Parky Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Thought the sump bolts were a bit loose on a mates Cavalier so helpfully tightened them up in order to cure a slight seepage. Ripped the head off one, oops! Best tighten the two either side to ensure its still tight, and promptly ripped those off too. First experience with an Easy-out. Got the cam timing massively out after that. I R PROFESHUNAL Best one was my mate fitting the speakers. Measured the speakers, cut the hole in the shelf nice and neatly, and dropped the speaker in place, only for it to go through the hole into the boot. He had cut the hole for the outer aperture rather than the inner. That was funny! myglaren, fatharris and CGSB 3
fatharris Posted October 7, 2015 Posted October 7, 2015 Oh boy, I love this one... Copied and pasted from my Facebook, circa 2009. Don't judge me on spelling or vocabulary, I was a tender young flower then. This is my own post taken directly of the NPOC website... Before we start, as always this story is 100% true, in fact it happened to me about eight hours ago...but I digress... Earlier today, myself, my twin brother and my best friend Joe were all just going for a drive around town, doing the usual, Alex (My twin) loudly announces his desire to gamble some money down the local bookies. So we arrived at the local Ladbrokes and parked up, locking the car (this will become important later...) when Joe realised he left his ID at home, so I decided to keep him company outside, and show him around the car a bit, opening the boot and showing him how roomy the saloon body shape is. "Plenty of room in there for a body then?" He joked. "Aye, plenty in there!" I said, climbing into the boot to demonstrate. What I did next will stand as a testament to my stupidity, and will haunt me to the grave.... I shut the boot. I was still in said boot. I had the (only) set of keys in my pocket. The car was locked. Why I did this? Put simply, for a cheap laugh, all the other cars I've owned had an emergency boot release... And I hadn't bothered to look for the Primera's release before I jumped in. Now by this time Joe had ran in to grab Alex. Alex ran out of Ladbrokes and immediately asked where I was. Joe pointed to the boot. By now I had given up on the boot release and instead was looking for ways t get the boot key out of the car, so they could open it and send me to freedom. I had considered ringing Keith (GT Janner), but I had no signal and I didn't know if he was working so I didn't want to disturb him. So I remembered my broken indicator lens and remembering I was getting a new one anyway, proceeded to get the tool kit out of the cubbyhole and try to make a big enough hole for the key to fall through into my brothers hand, who was by now ringing my father so he could mock me on speakerphone. Fifteen minutes had passed since I shut the boot, and we couldn't fit the key through the hole. I was sweating heavily and starting to feel light headed, so I rested for a moment. It was at that point that I saw light coming from the toolkit cubby hole. I moved the jack out of the way and noticed a rust hole at the bottom so big that not only could my key fall through, but all my other keys on my key ring could drop through as well. Once the keys were on the ground and my brother had them, he decided to tease me by putting the key in the lock but not turning it. (He had lost all the money he had gambled, and somehow I was to blame!) Eventually, half an hour after I closed the boot, it was opened again and I tasted freedom. My friends are banned from mentioning this to me.... D Spares & Tyres, fred, brickwall and 8 others 11
Royale80 Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Morning all,Adjusted the points on my fathers Granada 3.0 using a ratchet and socket on the bottom pulley to turn the engine. Adjusted said points and started the engine-good way to get a crank bolt out-luckily everything went back together ok. Roll on a few years and i had an XJ6 2.8. Decided to change the oil and filter (not the spin off type) -forgot to take out the old filter seal and put the new one on top. Started up - heard a running water sound and 14 pints of the finest Castrol GTX landed on the floor. Being stupid I thought I had not put the filter housing on correctly so removed it and tried again. Another 14 pints on the floor. Then a "bulb" turned on in my head. Steve CGSB, LC Torana and D Spares & Tyres 3
LC Torana Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Crikey - your driveway must have been like the Exxon Valdez.
Angrydicky Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Last week, checking the oil, getting distracted and forgetting to put the filler cap back on... drove 5 miles and stopped at trafficlights and wondered why there was smoke (lots of) coming from under the bonnet. Engine covered in oil and smoke everywhere. Found the filler cap down by the radiator, cleaned the oil away and checked the oil - just under full. Methinks I was very very lucky.Yep, did this with the Victor, exactly at the time that Wuvvum came round to collect some bits and he took it for a spin. I thought the smell of burnt oil was stronger than normal
martc Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Once the keys were on the ground and my brother had them, he decided to tease me by putting the key in the lock but not turning it. (He had lost all the money he had gambled, and somehow I was to blame!).. As I was reading this I had the evil hope that the rusty hole overhung a roadside drain - for further Laurel and Hardy style malarkey. Is that thought so very wrong? Bear, D Spares & Tyres, catsinthewelder and 1 other 4
fatharris Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 As I was reading this I had the evil hope that the rusty hole overhung a roadside drain - for further Laurel and Hardy style malarkey. Is that thought so very wrong?Very, you evil bugger! Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk
I_am_Diesel Posted October 8, 2015 Posted October 8, 2015 Changing the oil on my Defender for the first time on the drive at home. Put the drip tray in position and tried to undo the sump plug. It was tight, no problem went and got my long knuckle bar. Sump plug still wouldn't budge and eventually rounded off. Bollocks! Compressor on, air impact gun and hex socket out, these will dislodge the bugger. I move the drip tray out the way as it isn't allowing me to lay directly underneath the sump to hold the air gun and socket tightly onto the sump plug. A quick whizz on the trigger sees the plug completely remove itself rapidly. Oil is now pouring out as I try to push the sump plug against the hole to stem the flow as I try to reach for the drip tray which is well out of my despairing reach.The drive took on a whole new appearance that day with an extensive oily slick shining the gravel. LC Torana and catsinthewelder 2
alf892 Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 Done this a lot........ Jack up car to drain oil and access filter. Complete this without spilling a drop. Let jack down onto drain dray causing it to distort and spill at least 25% of it's contents beko1987 and steve_earwig 2
alf892 Posted October 9, 2015 Posted October 9, 2015 A fresh one....... Last year I dropped a 10mm socket in the engine bay which went into the undertray. Could not be arsed to remove tray to recover. Got a few 10mm sockets anyway so not a big problem although it was my favourite one. On service this year I recover the socket and refit undertray. Quietly chuffed at having full set of favourites again. Run engine and top level up. Drop oil filler cap into undertray.......... catsinthewelder 1
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