Bentley Turbo R total shite! Now, Brooklands 'R' turbo shite....

[Craig the Princess]

Really enjoyed this thread, dreams fulfilled. Very jealous, I hope you get every pleasure out of it.

[xtriple]

Just been out there convincing the neighbours I am insane. I love the fooking thing! Just checked all the tyres and wandered around it three times drooling... Oh, and they 'may' be a garage on the horizon...

[Bear]

It is truly beautiful. Do you have a tracker?

 

https://www.pinpointpal.com

 

Reasonably priced, if you're popping it in a garage you don't check on every day (even then it only takes some shithead a few minutes I guess).

[cort1977]

Shooting tigers, I believe

yes, he used a machine gun.

[xtriple]

Garage and horizon now further apart than my dreams and reality! No go as the 'interested party' just wanted to look at the car! What exceptional taste the man has!

 

Just installed a quilt complete with cover on the back seat, it drapes down onto the floor as well so that should protect the leather a bit.  I can at least just wipe it down and feed it without any great agro unlike cloth.

 

Also, just installed 6 CDs in the 'Alpine' (get me posh/flash bastard!) shuttle system in the boot. Now, will it work?

 

Well of course it does, Bentley so perfect Spent ages trying to work out how to operate the head unit, pressing the six million tiny buttons to make it do something and just got frustrated until I saw the BIG button that changes 'mode' and everything became clear. I panic so much about stuff I overlook the simple stuff! Sounds great as well though I thing one of the front left speakers (there are several per door!) is duff as sound quality is variable through that one.

 

Also, the most important thing.... I have installed my AUTOSHITE sticker! :)   It actually looks okay and not out of place at all. I wonder how many people will even spot it and consider the irony. What irony?

 

Started first turn of the key and sounded fine and all the lights went straight out which is a big thing on these. Nice to have an accessory position on the key as well and just about everything works in that position. But, you get a red light on the dash warning you of battery use and a warning to NOT move the car without starting the engine - brakes no work, death and fiery journey to Hell await if ignored!

 

I will try once more to get the phone to talk to the 'puter and get some pics up. 

[Guest Lord Sward]

I'm in full admiration for this purchase.  I keep promising myself one, but the lack of a suitably sized garage is the excuse my inner coward needs to duck out of ownership.  Top marks, Sir.

[chaseracer]

...the most important thing.... I have installed my AUTOSHITE sticker! :)   It actually looks okay and not out of place at all. I wonder how many people will even spot it and consider the irony. What irony?

 

I will try once more to get the phone to talk to the 'puter and get some pics up. 

 

Yes please! 

[xtriple]

Just had my first FTP! Well, not quite but a fault... Opened the bonnet to check levels and stuff (the kind of thing one should do BEFORE purchase or driving home!) and everything is hunky dory as one would expect, but when I tried to lock the doors, the drivers declined!

 

I did it manually then unlocked as normal and tried locking it again... fine! Tried it a few more times and fine every time. What is this, a foible?

 

Also just had a bloke pull up in his PUG 306 diesel and regale me with how his Uncle has just bought one (a Mulsanne) to do weddings in! Also, same Uncle is head of the RRandB owners club, padre to the same and a marque specialist!

 

Put the net inbetween the front seats that was in the Honda to stop Chester from jumping through - I departed the car yesterday and the fat little sod was out of my door before I could gather my stick and other shit.  He is a bugger and has zero regard for fine motor cars

[Bren]

OLD MONEY 

NOUVEAU RICHE

This could be the next Conservative party poster.

[mrbenn]

^ serious lol!

[xtriple]

My decision to have the doors painted has been brought forward as I scraped the bugger this afternoon! Moors, narrow and pulled in to give some space and something sticking out of the hedge!

 

Bugger!!!! :(

 

Back door on the left now has two scrapes which won't polish out. Fortunately, paint guy that lives round the corner was passing as I was franticly polishing  and got talking, I think he's doing it next week!

[xtriple]

Cheered up now. Yes, it now has two new scratches on the back door but not really noticeable and the paint was shit  on those two doors anyway!

 

I started out the day by deciding to fill it with fuel - super unleaded  even though it doesn't need it, just thought I'd treat the old girl... the pump was soooooooo slooooooowwww I gave up from boredom at £50! Seriously, that must have taken ten minutes easily!

 

Then the traffic was horrendous all the way to Newton Abbot but the car behaved impeccably all the way sat in traffic and for a change, it was hot here! Temp never moved and strangely, the fuel gauge didn't really either!

 

Took the dogs for a lovely walk at Bovey on the way back where they both had a swim and then got the interior so wet and mucky I had to clean it properly when I got home! Also took it to the Rumanian cleaning guys on the way back and let them go to town on it - they do a fantastic job and charge naff all, so I gave them a tenner and they gave me a load of air fresheners to keep the doggy smell down a bit! Cheeky foreigners!

 

They paint guy up the road is good. I've seen quite a few examples of his work (old Beetle, new BMW 7 series, Fiesta) and they are all really good. He reckoned he could get the scratches out with a sand and polish but fuck it, I'd rather it was painted! So he's going to do all four doors (the drivers side dents are really pissing me off 'cos the car is so nice otherwise) and he found a tiny bit of rust which is going to be done as well. Rust! How dare it!!!????

 

Painting it now is going to eat into the fund for a new stereo (don't like the one in there, I need to wear glasses just to work it stupid million small buttons!) and the other things I wanted to do, but I know me: the doors will get on my tits and once I start to obsess I don't stop!

 

I was uttely fucked by all the excitement and so tired ( I am easily excited!    ) I apologise if I was less than sparkling at the museum.

 

Oh, and the car does a puff of smoke every time you start it when it's hot and it's been stood for a while. Never again at any point and I've checked (ocd kicking in again!) multiple times by revving it while stationary, even full throttle and quickly off. Oil in the turbo burning? Never does it from cold, guess it's something quirky and probably not helped by not having a CAT?

 

I love this car and feel like a millionaire when I drive it - makes it all the more important to get it right so the deception can be MORE convincing!

[Bren]

You should also feel like a millionaire for living in a beautiful part of Devon.

[Bear]

Puff of smoke from hot probably = oil too thin (didn't you say it was the wrong grade?) getting past valve seals or turbo bearing (I would not expect the puff then, though, I'd expect turbo to puff on gearchange or similar).

 

And worry not about scrapes. (Do worry about rust. There was a great thread on the blue forum where someone was working on the Rolls Royce version... jesus. Only thing I've seen rust worse is the Cappuccino, and this Rolls had probably an entire shell of a normal car missing in rusty bits. Keep on top of any rust and it'll be one of the survivors that makes it to mega money in 50 years ). Being able to drive a Bentley and not give a fuck about minor bodywork damage is the mark of true old-money class - rather than being stressed and stretched. Real Bentleys get driven around the world in all weathers, ridden hard and put away wet. Chill out and remember that not caring about a scratch on a car that cost the equivalent of £560,000 new (adjusted for inflation and house price equivalency) is a massive two-fingers up to the Ford Escort 4x4 Evoke on ruinous finance that must not get a scratch because the finance firm will extract every last penny from you when it goes back.

[RoadworkUK]

Chill out and remember that not caring about a scratch on a car that cost the equivalent of £560,000 new (adjusted for inflation and house price equivalency) is a massive two-fingers up to the Ford Escort 4x4 Evoke on ruinous finance that must not get a scratch because the finance firm will extract every last penny from you when it goes back.

 

Right on. Nowt more vulgar than a shiny unmarked car that you're only borrowing anyway.

 

Bentleys, like proper Land Rovers, look all the better for hard earned shabbiness.

 

[andrew e]

Lovely stuff! Nothing to add but if you want a stereo you can understand I stuck one of these in the old mans motor home to replace the existing unit. Foolproof, even I could use it.

 

http://www.blaupunktdirect.co.uk/car-audio/single-din/amsterdam-130.html

[Jim Bell]

Wen I gro Up, I wont tO be EgGsTrebbLe.

[xtriple]

Lovely stuff! Nothing to add but if you want a stereo you can understand I stuck one of these in the old mans motor home to replace the existing unit. Foolproof, even I could use it.

 

http://www.blaupunktdirect.co.uk/car-audio/single-din/amsterdam-130.html

Nice. I think when I do get a new one, it will be with a sat nav built in! I am almost ashamed to admit I really fancy one that motors out of the dash... Oh, and it's got to control a CD unit as well.

 

I have done nothing today other than slept and watched F1. I have however admired the car lovingly three times as I walked outside to walk the mutts. The scratches on the door are really nothing but they are all I see ('cos insane right!) so they have got to go. It seems odd to me that two people who I have contacted to do work on the car have not come back to me.

 

Either I am an arsehole that no one wants to work for, or Bentleys give folks the shivers!

[Guest Lord Sward]

Painters.  They're too busy sniffing thinners.

[fordperv]

That's a brill picture of the dogs in the back, nice looking motor, well done that man

[chaseracer]

These rust because the bodies were stamped out at Cowley alongside Montegos... 

[DeeJay]

It's the Law,

"Seat covers for ones Bentley must be of the finest sheepskin".

See, it's in inverted commas so it must be true.

[ruffgeezer]

That is awesome, I wish my sights would go high enough for such splendour.

 

Sadly my list goes to Mitsi Rvr, Some sort of land rover oh and a 100e or similar.

 

Excellent work, does the inside smell all fusty and of aged mooskin?

[xtriple]

Roll up, roll up. Ten pounds a ticket and the unlucky punter gets to spend thousands repairing the fucker!

 

Valve stem seals have had it. It's smoking is getting worse (now on about ten a day - Benson and Hedges!) and it has been to see a friendly chap today who has shoved cameras in its various orifices and declared the Valve stem seals to be... poorly!

 

I am mortified!

 

I love this car but oh dear, this is not going to have a happy or cheap outcome...

 

P.S. it's not really for raffle!

[beko1987]

For a tenner I would!

[steve_earwig]

Argh! The dream becomes a nightmare

 

Can the valve stem oil seals be change in situ or is it a heads orf job?

[purplebargeken]

You look less fat than I imagined. The dogs look lovely.

 

Ace car by the way

[wuvvum]

Shouldn't be too bad should it?  Pushrod engine and all that.

[wuvvum]

You look less fat than I imagined.

Now there's a compliment if ever I saw one!

[Bear]

Roll up, roll up. Ten pounds a ticket and the unlucky punter gets to spend thousands repairing the fucker!

 

Valve stem seals have had it. It's smoking is getting worse (now on about ten a day - Benson and Hedges!) and it has been to see a friendly chap today who has shoved cameras in its various orifices and declared the Valve stem seals to be... poorly!

 

I am mortified!

 

I love this car but oh dear, this is not going to have a happy or cheap outcome...

 

P.S. it's not really for raffle!

 

Those cameras are awesome. As for the valve stem seals... yes, it's a real pain (but again - dealer supplied? Surely there's some comeback on this) but not an overly complex design, and bonus - if you're doing that, you can deal with the other absolute bastard job that takes out this V8, the headgaskets. Common source of misery for Turbo R and Mulsanne owners, the bulletproof bit of engineering does have a fondness for OMGHGF as they get on a bit and move away from megabucks maintenance.