Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Fumbler]

The K11 Micra is a reverse-engineered car-shaped jelly mould.

[New POD]

Have we had this bull Shit yet ?

Issigonis designed ......cars

 

Did he fuck. No his staff designed them whilst he went off on his bike every afternoon, and popped in to see each wife of all his draftsmen,  a different one each day, for a slow after noon with his pants off. 

He thus fathered 154 brummie kids from 1955 to 1970 most of whom worked on the design team for the Bini in the 1990s 

So untalented man gives DNA to untalented men and woman. And thus life goes on.

[Parky]

Formula One drivers have often been used in advertising.  indeed some have even been used in the engineering of cars, Honda for example made a big fuss about Ayrton Senna fine tuning the NSX back in the 1980’s.  

This is a trend that goes back several years.  Jim Clark and the Lotus Cortina is one such example, but there are several others.  Did you know for example that Graham Hill was responsible for the load area of the Leyland Sherpa, John Surtees advised on the indicator stalks for the Austin 1100 and Jackie Stewart turned the Marina into the finest handling car of its day?  Or at least he would have done if Derek in the office at Cowley had phoned THE Jackie Stewart and not just the first J.Stewart he found in the phone book.  

That particular J Stewart was a Jeremiah Stewart, an 86 year old ex merchant seaman who couldn’t actually drive.  He did make one useful contribution to the project though - the name.  Originally the team were going to stick with a UK place name (Westminster, Oxford, etc)  by launching the Morris Prestatyn but the team preferred Jeremiah’s Marina idea.  

Good job too - in Holland a Prestatyn is a particularly nasty sexual practice involving two hedgehogs and a car battery....

[brownnova]

Austin planned the same trick with names when it came to the Allegro. It was to be known as the Austin Rhyl... but it was decided that was far to optimistic for Austin’s new family car... 

[chaseracer]

What indicators? ?

[Parky]

In Hindu countries you are less likely to be involved in an accident if you have a Ganesh figurine on your dashboard.  The second safest item to have was, unbelievably, a VHS copy of “Breakdance 2 - Electric Boogaloo” 

[Parky]

PSA’s main road tester in the early 1990’s was Francois “petit” Chausette, a man with incredibly tiny feet.  This explains the pedal spacing in all small Citroen’s and Peugeot’s of the time.

The metal removed from Lotus chassis to reduce weight was recycled to make lightweight Soup tins for Weightwatchers

[martc]

19 hours ago, Parky said:

PSA’s main road tester in the early 1990’s was Francois “petit” Chausette, a man with incredibly tiny feet.  This explains the pedal spacing in all small Citroen’s and Peugeot’s of the time.

FIAT used to use a monkey, affectionately nicknamed  ' Gerald, il gorilla armato insolitamente lungo'.

[Maurice Marina]

You don’t have to be gay to ride a Harley

[Fumbler]

Audi had an option for indicators, however, being over-engineered nanopartricle lumps of tech, said option carried a huge cost and was too expensive for most consumers. This made them angry and so they regularly take out their anger on their new Autos mit vorsprung durch Technik by driving them hard, by tailgating and by pushing everyone out of their way.

[Parky]

The Mazda Bongo Frendee holds the Nurburgring lap record following Aguri Suzuki’s sub four minute lap (in the wet!) in March 1993.

Today the actual vehicle is owned by Sabine Schmidt.  Aguri is allowed to visit whenever he likes but other Japanese drivers have to make an appointment

[Parky]

Colin Chapman added so much lightness to the Lotus Factory that it blew away in the April 1987 storm.  

It was never found but a number of Eclat wings were washed up in Brittany in June 1990

[martc]

'Indicator Assembly' translates to 'do not fit during production' in German.

[Justin Case]

When siting their new factory, the Audi planners spell-checker auto-corrected 'Ingoldmells' to 'Ingolstadt' which is why it is located in Bavaria and the Lincolnshire coast does not have a thriving motor industry,

[brownnova]

I’ve missed this thread... it’s fun. 

 

The Panther DeVille was originally only set to be available with Dalmatian spotted seats, until a long and hard fought legal battle with Disney who felt that this was piggy backing onto their 1961 film 101 Dalmatians. 

Panther were then outraged by the use of a DeVille in the 1996 film 101 Dalmatians but then owners SsangYong were unwilling to fight a legal battle despite support from Hugh Laurie and Glenn Close. 

[rml2345]

Alfa Romeo used to finalise their interior switch placement by loading a blunderbuss full of switches and firing it at a clay model of the dashboard. 

[martc]

17 minutes ago, rml2345 said:

Alfa Romeo used to finalise their interior switch placement by loading a blunderbuss full of switches and firing it at a clay model of the dashboard. 

This method is now referred to as 'System Porsche'.

[Supernaut]

I thought Citroen pioneered that method.

[dozeydustman]

Scientists have proved that in the event of a head-on collision, it is much safer to have a steering wheel made out of soft furnishings than an airbag that comes out of the central boss. General Motors did a deal with DFS to produce extra vinyl covered foam in the 1970s. However the safety conscious Swedes said that this was a no-go as it interfered with the moose test. The result of this is thanks to the Swedish motor industry, DFS always have a sale on trying to clear the backlog of 1970s steering wheels disguised as pouffes.

[Parky]

John DeLorean paid for his supply of Renault engines in Cocaine

 

[chaseracer]

...which is famous for being the highest village in France.

[Noel Tidybeard]

On 8/9/2019 at 2:58 PM, chaseracer said:

Yes, indeed.  It wasn't 'orange peel' finish, it was actual orange peel.

EFA

[vulgalour]

SsangYong styles and names their cars on the Esperanto Principle.  By choosing elements from various languages for naming their vehicles, and a wide array of styling choices for the look of their vehicles, it was hoped that everyone who saw a SsangYong would find it familiar and be able to understand some of it.  Unfortunately, much like the language on which this idea is based, the opposite is true and everything is lost in any attempt at translation.

[rml2345]

Incedentally, spotting a Ssangyong Rodius makes you 28% more likely to fit your house with a dormer window. 

[richardthestag]

39 minutes ago, rml2345 said:

Incedentally, spotting a Ssangyong Rodius makes you 28% more likely to fit your house with a dormer window. 

Rodius is South Korean slang for a sexual practice performed in the presence of Kim Jong-un

[vulgalour]

Every small cheap hatchback produced since 1989 is a Daewoo.  You might think it's something else because of the badge, it's not, it's a Daewoo.

[vulgalour]

Original a Morris dealer from Suffolk, "Hindu" Stan moved to India after a religious awakening.  The rest, as they say, is history.

[dozeydustman]

The New Avengers tv programme from 1976 was the inspiration for Chrysler to revamp and rebadge their compact Hillman saloon. Initial celebrations for the facelift included a special edition with a vinyl roof that looked like Purdey's bowl cut, a bowler hat gear knob, "John Steed's suit" seat covers, and a signed photo of Mike Gambit for the first 1000 cars sold. The idea was dropped when Mark-1 television decided to renew their car pool contract with British Leyland.

[vulgalour]

Well now I want a bowler hat gear knob.

[dozeydustman]

21 minutes ago, vulgalour said:

Well now I want a bowler hat gear knob.

I can't find a bowler hat one, but could you imagine one of these with a plughole of doom one for Princess?